Chapter 21 #2
I’m trying to glare at you
Sex God:
Not very convincing
Me:
Not my finest performance, but I lack sufficient direction
Sex God:
Corner above the door
I hate night mode, but it’s good to see your face
Even if you’re glaring at me
Me:
Go to sleep
Sex God:
I can’t without you
My heart feels too tight for my chest. I bite my lip. I have Hawk and Cam, but he’s all alone. But I knew he’d miss me.
Me:
Check the pocket of your bag
I wait for a few minutes to see if he’ll find it.
Sex God:
Fuck, little devil
I arch an eyebrow at the camera, imagining him holding a pair of my panties. Not the new ones that he buys me but the cotton ones I always used to wear. That I wore for him. I don’t know where he keeps them, but I know he has a collection of my panties somewhere.
Me:
Full disclosure, I put those in your bag before we went to bed the other night
Sex God:
I’m glad you weren’t mad at me then
Me:
I don’t want to be mad at you
I can’t help the confession. Curling into the corner of the couch, I try to imagine how we got to this place. Where the only way to fight was to blurt out truths?
Sex God:
I’m not mad at you, Evan
I rub my chest on my heart.
Me:
It feels like you are
His words from earlier echo in my head. He’s not ready to apologize. That means he might be sorry for what he said.
Sex God:
Go curl up in bed, little devil
You’ll be asleep before you know it
Me:
Only if you sleep with me
Sex God:
Deal
I wake up to my body on fire as Hawk tongue fucks my pussy. Moaning, I come, and he crawls up my body to kiss me properly. The taste of me is on his tongue, but I don’t care. I thread my fingers through his hair and wrap my legs around him.
I still buzz with need.
“Save it for tonight, baby girl.” Hawk chuckles and kisses me again. “I need to get going or I’ll be late for the scrimmage.”
I reluctantly release him and drop back on the bed. Cam comes out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day. He shakes his head as Hawk stands and adjusts himself in his boxers.
“I was just going to pull you into the shower with me, but Hawk here was like, Annie needs her sleep.” Cam rolls his eyes. “What he actually meant is he needed a morning snack.”
I lean up on my elbows. “I’m cleared to come to your scrimmage, right?”
Hawk disappears into the bathroom, and Cam glances with a mischievous look over his shoulder before crawling over me on the bed.
“You’re coming with Mia?” He bends down and kisses my neck, finding a spot and sucking on it.
I squirm, feeling needy again. “Yes. She’s picking me up here and won’t leave me the whole time.”
Cam lifts his head and runs his thumb over what’s likely a red mark on my neck that will bruise later. His dark eyes meet mine. “Good. Bring your helmet, and we’ll go get some lunch after.”
“Time to go.” Hawk grabs his bag and smiles.
Heat swells in me. Cam kisses me before rolling off the bed and grabbing his things. “Sleep more, goody. We’re going to keep you up all night tonight.”
They head out and I try to sleep, but I can’t. So I take a shower and head downstairs. Mom sits at a table by the pool, having breakfast. When she sees me, she gestures for me to join her.
I sigh and watch a different server head inside to grab me breakfast. “This is such a weird life.”
Mom glances at the door the woman vanished into and smiles. “It’s definitely different. I don’t think your dad ever would have been comfortable being waited on.”
I take a chair, and the server brings out some eggs and fruit with a croissant. Then she sets down a cup of coffee. I thank her and take a sip.
“Why didn’t you tell me Chase left you in the woods, Evan?” Mom sits back and wipes her fingers on her napkin. “Were you worried I wouldn’t believe you? Did he threaten you?”
Her blue eyes are focused on me with an intensity like she’s hurt I didn’t come to her.
I pick up a berry and eat it, trying to figure out how to not make this hurt her more.
“When I first started dating Chase, you seemed so... relieved.” I take a breath. “Like I was finally normal.”
“I never thought you weren’t normal.” She’s offended, but I hold up my hand to stop her.
“I’m telling you how I felt, Mom. It’s not necessarily how you felt, but you always had a worried edge to you when you talked to me.
Like I wasn’t behaving the way you thought I should.
So, to me, Chase seemed to be moving on and seemed to let you breathe a little easier. I never thought he’d do what he did.”
“Did he hurt you?” Mom looks fierce. “Did he force you to do something you didn’t want to?”
I shake my head with a sad smile. “He was fine until Damon, Hawk, and Cam started paying attention to me. Because someone else wanted me, he suddenly started being more aggressive. He never hurt me physically.” I rub my arm absently.
“But that night he drove me out to look at the stars and then wanted to do more. When I said no and told him I knew he was cheating on me, he tried to talk me down, but then he scared me, so I took off into the woods.”
I release my breath and meet Mom’s gaze. Her hand twitches like she wants to reach for mine. So I take it and squeeze it.
“Instead of chasing me, he left me there. I called Hawk, and he came and picked me up.”
I shrug like it isn’t a big deal.
“I would have come for you, Evan. You could have called me,” Mom tries.
“But you were out with Adam, and I didn’t want to bother you.”
Mom tears up. “He’s right. I did this to you.
Evan, you aren’t a bother. You aren’t some obligation I have because I’m the only one left.
I wish I’d been stronger. I wish I could have told you how strong you were.
But I was sleepwalking through life, trying to find that spark that always guided me home.
But by the time I finally woke up, you were doing so much better without me.
I should have tried harder. I’m going to try harder.
I want a relationship with you so know I’ll be there when you need me. ”
I don’t know what to say to that.
“Please say you’ll go to therapy with me.” Mom clutches my hand like a lifeline. “I don’t know how to fix this, but I want to.”
“We can try, Mom.”