Chapter 23
EvanAnn
Cam and Hawk sit on either side of me in the movie theater, where Nightmare on Elm Street plays on the screen.
A giant bowl of popcorn sits on my lap so everyone can reach it.
Hawk’s parents are out for the night, so I didn’t have to do the awkward, yeah, I didn’t have any pants on when we met dance with his dad and didn’t have to meet his mom. Yet. Thankfully.
I receive a text from Damon, and it sends chills down my back. I swallow and read it out loud. “Hanging at a frat party with Jackson Riordan.”
Hawk hits pause on the creepy children singing. Cam lets out a sharp chuckle. The guys mentioned it this morning, but I needed to sit with it before processing. Now I’m ready to process that Jackson is with Damon this week.
“So does that mean I’m safe? At least this week?
” I smooth out the wrinkles in my skirt, trying not to think about Jackson potentially going to the same college.
“Not that I’ve been truly under threat. I don’t think a rose with chili pepper oil really counts.
It hurt, but it’s not like he’s trying to maim or kidnap me.
But what can he do while he’s out of town? ”
“We stay the course.” Hawk glances at Cam. “We don’t know if he’s in collusion with someone at our school. There may be plans in play.”
I nod and rest back against the recliner. But I’ve been thinking. “What if we’re scared for nothing?” I turn and look at Hawk. “Like obviously in this movie, they have a reason to be scared. Not that anyone believes them. The worst Jackson did to me was kiss me when I didn’t want him to.”
A little shiver goes through me. It might have been only a kiss, but the fear was there. I know how I felt. And every time he’s close, there’s a buzzing sensation like a warning alarm in my head.
“It doesn’t matter what he was able to accomplish when you were younger.” Cam reaches over and takes my hand. “It’s what he hopes to finish now.”
“A few threatening texts and a hot rose?” I blow out my breath. I don’t want to live in fear, but that’s what we’re doing. “It’s like he isn’t even trying.”
“It doesn’t hurt for us to be with you, Annie.” Hawk brushes my hair from my face. “We would want to be with you even if you weren’t under threat.”
I nod and gesture for him to continue the movie.
Even as we watch, I’m still unsettled by the thought we’re preparing for nothing. That all of this is a huge mindfuck for no reason.
We talk about sleeping over at Hawk’s, but knowing Damon’s watching settles me somehow. So we end up back in Damon’s room.
“Does being scared turn you on, Annie?” Hawk leans on the headboard in only his boxers. Cam is on his phone with a guy who might be able to access my mom’s texts. I just finished getting ready for bed.
I pause on my way across the floor to consider it. “I like being chased by you and held down. The woods and waiting definitely gets my heart racing.” I shrug and climb onto the bed, crawling up to him in only a t-shirt and panties. I braided my hair so it would be out of the way.
He watches me with hooded eyes and a cocky smile. I don’t stop until I straddle his lap and put my hands around his neck.
He toys with the hem of my shirt, but doesn’t do anything to guide me or take me.
“You like it when we’re rough with you?” The tips of his fingers skate along the outside of my thighs, sending shivers through me.
“Yes.” I meet his green eyes.
“Did you prefer it when it was a secret? A secret from everyone at school and then a secret from your mom? Did that get you off? Knowing they had no clue what you were doing?” Hawk teases the lace on the edge of my panties.
My breath catches. “It definitely added a heightened risk to everything we did, but I don’t know if I prefer it. There’s still a risk of us getting caught together. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you now that everyone knows.”
“Not everyone knows yet, goody.” Cam tosses his phone on the nightstand and climbs in next to Hawk. Honestly, I can’t get enough of seeing my guys’ bodies. Hawk and Cam don’t work out as much as Damon, but they’re cut and sculpted and beautiful.
“Your parents don’t?”
Cam shrugs. “I just got off the naughty list, so I’ll play it safe before telling them my tutor is my girlfriend.”
Hawk grabs my braid and tugs my head back suddenly. “Does it turn you on when we’re rough with you, baby girl?”
“Yes, but I also like it when we’re just all together or soft and sweet in the mornings.” I grind my hips against his hardened cock between my legs.
“How do you want it tonight, goody?” Cam drags his finger along my jaw.
I swallow, thinking about what the three of us can do. What do I want? “I just want to be in this moment with you two.”
Hawk releases my braid enough so that our eyes can lock. “Can we try something, baby girl?”
I wet my lips and glance at Cam before nodding. “What do you want to try?”
“Remember when we pleasured each other with our mouths.”
I nod, remembering how I didn’t quite know how to go about it. My panties are already soaked just talking about sex.
“I want Cam to fuck your pussy while I suck on your clit and you suck my cock.” He strokes his fingers down my neck, sending shivers through me. “Then I want to switch places with Cam.”
I smile and lean in to kiss him before turning and kissing Cam, ready to get lost in the pleasure of being with them.
Later that night, tucked between Cam and Hawk, I can’t get out of my head to sleep. The idea that this whole thing with the stalker is just a mindfuck.
It’s like trying to dissect the villain’s motivation in the film we watched. The first Nightmare was to get revenge on the parents who murdered Freddie by killing their children. But in real life, motivations get convoluted and aren’t a straight line.
My phone buzzes, and a little rush goes through me, knowing it’s Damon.
Sex God:
You’re worse at this sleep thing than me
Me:
I’m contemplating the plot of Nightmare
Sex God:
I can see why you can’t sleep
Crazy dead pedophile goes into teens dreams to kill them
Not a very deep premise
Me:
No, but it is a mindfuck for the people going through it
Sex God:
True
I turn and look up at where I know the camera is hidden.
I don’t want to get into it with him right now.
Normally, I would tell him what I was considering for the stalker, but that might bring up my mom.
I don’t want to reopen any wounds tonight.
They’re still fresh and haven’t even begun to heal. So I leave it.
Me:
How was the party?
Sex God:
Would have been better with you here
Sunday rehearsal is normal. Even Chase seems to be on point this afternoon.
He has his lines down finally. Cam sits in the audience studying for another test this week.
Mr. Watson walks around from time to time to make sure no one sneaks in.
There are no gifts left on my desk. The whole thing is almost too normal.
When Cam and Hawk drop me off at home after, Mom’s at the door and waves to the guys as I walk inside. Adam returned home yesterday. Dinner tonight is going to be awkward, and I wish Damon could be here to endure it with me.
“They could have stayed for dinner.” Mom closes the door behind me.
“It’s okay. I have homework to do, and they’ll have dinner with their families.” I glance back at the road.
That seems to settle Mom. I know she’s still processing me having three boyfriends, including one who lives with me. She didn’t really get the opportunity to interrogate Chase when we were dating. I don’t know that she would have, but maybe she wants to be more aware going forward.
When I come down for dinner, I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything. Seriously just thinking of walking in, sitting across from Mom and Adam without the buffer of Cam or Damon seems unbearable. But I know it’s not an option.
I smile at Adelaide when I walk in and give her a little nod. Hopefully she doesn’t think less of me for anything she overhears tonight. For all I know, the small staff who run the house probably already knows way more than any of us.
The table is set for three at one end. I take my seat and drink some water while I wait for the others to arrive. My pulse races as I check my phone for anything that might stall this from happening.
Mom walks in first and takes the seat opposite me. Adam walks in next and sits at the head of the table. With a signal from him, Adelaide brings out the food.
“How was your day, EvanAnn?” Adam asks politely as his wine glass is filled.
“Rehearsal went well. I’m mostly caught up on the work I couldn’t do because of my hand.” I lift my right hand as if to show him it’s better, but I feel as stupid as the gesture looks.
“Crowne Mawr has an excellent campus. It’s not Yale, but it’s a good school.” Adam takes a bite of his food.
I long to ask him about the drive with Damon. Yes, we text when we can’t sleep, but it’s not like everything is suddenly better. We don’t ask about anything that might start a fight. Like our parents and what they talked about with us.
Adam clears his throat, and I stop pushing my food around my plate to look up into his kind eyes.
“I know I’m not your father...” He stops and looks at my mom, who reaches out and takes his hand. “And I would never assume you’ll think of me like that. But I want you to know if you need anything, anything at all, I’ll make sure you get it.”
My breath catches and my brow furrows in confusion.
He blows out a breath. “Friday morning wasn’t how I would normally approach what happened. But we were already panicked when you weren’t in your room. And I love my son. But I’m not foolish enough to believe you were the one to instigate things between the two of you.”
My cheeks heat, and I look down at my plate. Yup, Damon should definitely be here. Though none of this would probably embarrass him.
“What I’m trying to say and failing miserably is that if for some reason you don’t feel safe or you want to change rooms or anything at all really, I hope you know that your mother and I are on your side.
Damon doesn’t want you to change bedrooms. And while part of me feels irresponsible for putting you that close to begin with, if it’s not what you want either, there’s no point in us upsetting your routine. ”
Mom smiles softly at Adam and squeezes his hand.
She doesn’t add to it but just looks at me.
Dad used to take care of me when I was young.
I know Mom loves me, but I don’t know if I’ve ever been her priority.
But Dad was my everything. I don’t think he would have been as cool with all this as Mom is being. But Mom does care, just in her own way.
I set my fork to the side and take a sip of water before looking at them both. There’s a part of me that wants to hand wave this away. But I know it will weigh on them if they somehow feel responsible and think this isn’t what I wanted.
“I don’t want to move rooms. Everything I have with the guys is consensual and it always has been.
I haven’t been coerced into this.” I take a breath and lift my gaze to Adam’s and Mom’s.
Maybe a little at first, but they never did anything I didn’t want.
“I knew it might make things difficult for you, which is why I chose to keep breaking up with Chase a secret. It was my decision to keep our relationship a secret because I was worried Mom would want to move us.”
Mom opens her mouth and looks at Adam, who squeezes her hand. The look he gives her is reassuring. She doesn’t say anything but returns her gaze to me.
I draw in a breath and steel myself. “I love Damon, Hawk, and Cam. There’s no shame in that, and I don’t feel shame that you know we’re together. I’m ashamed at how you found out, and that was my fault. So I’m sorry for not being brave enough to tell you the truth.”
Mom reaches across the table with her other hand and takes mine with a tight squeeze.
“I’d rather know what’s going on in your life than be kept in the dark to protect me.
I know I haven’t always acted as the parent, and that’s on me, but I want to try to do better.
Adam makes me want to try to do better.”
I wish it would have been me who could have made her try harder, but Adam is focused on Damon in a way Mom never has been with me. Maybe it was the wake-up call she needed.
“I can tell you help Damon with his anger issues,” Adam says softly. “And for that, I’m thankful. We should have considered you two more in our plans for the future. We’d like to do better going forward.”
How long will the focus last this time? Maybe this time it will stick. I don’t know how to feel about that.
After dinner, I head up to my room. For a few hours, I work at my desk before getting ready for sleep. I stand in the middle of my room and stare at my bed, but that’s not really my bed. Like Damon said, I slept there once and have spent minimal time there since.
While our parents are trying to manage this development, they haven’t said we need to change anything. Besides, Damon isn’t here, and until someone else arrives, it would be nice to feel close to him.
Giving in to temptation, I head through the bedroom and climb into Damon’s bed, still rich with his earthy scent.
Hawk is supposed to sleep here tonight, but I don’t know what time he’ll be able to get away. I pull up the group text. I bite my lip, thinking about last night with Cam and Hawk. I know Damon was watching later when I couldn’t sleep.
Me:
Did you like the movie we made for you?
Cam:
Sorry if my ass was in the way
Couldn’t figure out where the cameras were
Sex God:
No time yet
Roommate hasn’t left me alone
Hawk:
Trying to get away
Me:
If you put it in the cloud file, I could edit it for you
But you risk me editing in more of Cam’s ass
Sex God:
Done
I gave you access to everything
Miss you
My heart beats a little harder. This wasn’t our personal chat. It’s not under cover of darkness where we make sense. This is the group chat.
Even being in his bed isn’t close enough to him. Without him, I feel off kilter. We haven’t slept apart really. This weekend was the first time I didn’t spend the night wrapped in Damon’s arms, but Hawk and Cam were here the past two nights.
It’s different being alone in his bed.
I grab a Devil’s t-shirt and change into it instead of my pajamas.
Me:
Miss you too