33. Jasmine
Jasmine woke up alone.
She hadn”t expected Edgar to spend the night in her narrow bed, but she”d hoped he would stay despite the cramped space. He could have spooned her or held her to his chest, and in the morning, they could have shared breakfast in the dining room.
With a sigh, Jasmine turned on her back and draped her arm over her eyes. She was no stranger to disappointment, and as usual, she found a way to look on the bright side.
Edgar couldn”t have joined her for breakfast because he wasn”t allowed in the staff dining room, where the rescued women ate. Not that it made any sense to her since the male staff members used the place, but that was the rule, and he couldn”t break it.
Poor women, though. It wasn”t hard to see that something terrible had happened to them. Their eyes were haunted, hopeless, and Jasmine found it painful to look at them.
Thank the goddess that she hadn”t chosen a career as a therapist or a social worker. She would have sucked at it. There were only two ways Jasmine knew how to make people happy. One was acting or singing, and the other was sex.
She also sucked at finding love, but that was beside the point. She should be glad for everything that the goddess had given her.
With a sigh, Jasmine dragged herself out of bed and went through her morning routine, trying to shake off the lingering sense of melancholy. As she made her way to the dining room, she wished she had a phone, just so Edgar could call her and tell her that he missed her or that he had a great time last night and couldn”t wait to see her again.
She would have even settled for a half-assed excuse explaining why he hadn”t stayed with her.
After getting dressed, Jasmine stepped out of her cabin and headed for the dining room, but then decided to skip it and go to the lounge instead. Her mood was low enough without seeing the poor women and getting nauseous thinking of what had been done to them or getting chest pains from trying not to think about it.
There was so much evil in the world, and there was so little she could do to make things better.
Besides, she wasn”t hungry, probably because of the late dinner she”d eaten last night, and she could get coffee at the lounge.
The place was quiet when she got there, the usual bustle of activity conspicuously absent. After pouring herself coffee from the commercial pot, Jasmine settled herself on one of the plush couches and grabbed a glossy magazine that someone had left behind. Flipping through it, she looked at the celebrities caught on camera doing this or that and tried to ignore the hollow feeling in her stomach that wasn”t about hunger.
From the corner of her eye, she saw a couple enter the lounge, but since neither of them was Edgar or one of her friends, she ignored them and kept flipping through pages of gossip about the rich and famous.
Jasmine would have loved to be on those pages, but that was a dream that she had given up on a long time ago. Now, she just wanted to act in quality productions and get paid enough to make a decent living. Except, even that modest dream was out of reach for most actors, including her. The best she could hope for was getting a part in the occasional commercial and satisfying her acting bug performing at community theaters for free.
When the couple approached her couch, she couldn”t ignore them any longer and shifted her gaze to them. The woman looked a little drab but was pretty in a forgettable kind of way, and the man was a hunk who looked like he could bench-press a car. She hadn”t seen either of them before, so they were either lost guests or they were looking for someone.
Jasmine put on a charming smile. ”Can I help you?”
”Hello,” the woman said. ”My name is Edna. Kian sent me to talk to you.”
Oh, crap. The one with the probe, whatever that meant. She”d forgotten all about it.
Jasmine rose to her feet and offered the woman her hand. ”I wasn”t expecting you so early in the morning.”
A tight smile lifted the edges of Edna”s thin lips as she shook Jasmine”s hand. ”It”s after ten in the morning, so I wouldn”t call it early.” Her pale blue eyes bored into Jasmine”s, but there was no malice in them, just curiosity and piercing intelligence.
Wow, she hadn”t encountered anyone with quite that look before. Later, she would practice it in the mirror. Was it possible to act out an intelligent look, though?
Jasmine shook her head. ”I didn”t know that it was so late. I don”t have a phone, and it”s difficult to assess the time down here.” She waved a hand at the windowless walls.
Edna scanned the room and nodded. ”I would be uncomfortable in these surroundings.” She glanced at the hulking man next to her. ”Does the lack of windows make you uncomfortable, Max?”
”Not at all. It”s cozy down here.”
The man was the very embodiment of masculine beauty, and his deep voice sent a shiver down Jasmine”s spine. Except, he hadn”t spared her a look yet, so he was either gay or one of those dudes who thought that they were all that and that women should fall at their feet and worship them.
Not this woman. She was the one who should be worshiped, and Edgar had.
”Hello, Max.” A coy smile tugging at her lips, Jasmine offered him her hand. ”Are you here to make sure that I don”t escape Edna”s probe?”
He finally looked at her. ”You”ve got it. Are you going to run?”
The dude was looking at her as if she had something nasty stuck in her teeth.
Turning to Edna, she asked, ”Do you always travel with a bodyguard?”
”No, not always.” She lowered herself to the couch. ”Please, sit down, and let”s get it over with.”
Perhaps Max was Edna”s boyfriend? The two didn”t look like they even liked each other, but perhaps they had gotten into an argument on the way.
”How long have you been together?” Jasmine asked as she sat down next to Edna.
”We are not together,” Max said. ”I”m just an escort.”
A chuckle bubbled up from Jasmine”s throat. ”I bet you are pricey.” She waved a hand at him. ”What with all the muscles, you must be in high demand.”
As Edna snorted, sounding like a donkey, Max”s neck went a very satisfying shade of red.
”I”m not a bodyguard,” he clarified. ”Nor am I Edna”s boyfriend or her paid escort. I”m here as a representative of the clan, and my job is to ensure that you behave.”
Jasmine had to bite her lip not to pick up that line and run with it.
But then it occurred to her that he”d said ”clan.” What clan?
Before she could inquire further, however, Edna lifted her hand to put a stop to the banter.
”Before we begin, tell me a little bit about yourself.”
Edna”s pale blue eyes were unnerving, and Jasmine wondered if she was a powerful hypnotist like Kevin. Come to think of it, why hadn”t Kian sent Kevin to talk to her?
If the guy could convince Modana to be born again, he could get her to tell him anything he wanted.
Maybe she wasn”t important enough to bother Kevin with.
The truth was that she had nothing to hide except her witchy ways. They were harmless, but some people thought that they were evil or dangerous, while others scoffed at all Wiccan practitioners, regarding them as lunatics.
Come to think of it, Kian had decided to send Edna to probe her after Jasmine had admitted to him and Amanda that she was Wiccan. But then Amanda had also admitted to dabbling a little with the occult, so maybe they had no problem with it.
Still, maybe it was better to preempt any potential criticism by explaining why she”d chosen that path to follow and the solace and comfort it provided her with. She should tell Edna about that in her own words instead of the woman picking up some odd ritual and thinking that Jasmine was a devil worshiper because she saw a pentagram in there.
”First and foremost, I”m an actress,” Jasmine said. ”Acting is my passion and what I enjoy doing the most. I”m not famous, and I can”t make a living doing what I love, so I work in customer service to pay the bills. I”m also a Wiccan. I know that some people have negative preconceptions about Wiccans, but for me, Wicca has been a blessing and a solace. The embrace of the Mother of All Life, the connection to nature and the divine feminine have helped me through some tough times.” She smiled. ”The life of an actor is full of rejections, and everyone deals with that in their own way. I think mine is healthier and more nurturing than most.”
To her surprise, Max suddenly seemed very interested in what she had to say. ”Did you say Mother of All Life?” It sounded like an accusation.
Jasmine nodded, taken aback by his tone. ”Yes, she”s one of the central deities in Wicca. Why?”
Max shook his head. ”Nothing. Go on.”
He sounded dismissive, which was so aggravating because so many people made fun of witches.
”Wicca is listed as an official, legitimate religion by the government, with recognized holidays that practitioners can claim.” Jasmine”s tone was a little sharper than she”d intended. ”It”s not some fly-by-night cult.”
Max snorted, his expression turning derisive. ”Yeah, because the government is always such a great arbiter of what”s real and what”s not. Your so-called religion is just another sham organization that calls itself a faith to get tax-exempt status.”
Why was he being so hostile?
What had she ever done to him?
Jasmine bristled, anger and indignation coursing through her veins. ”Wicca has no churches,” she snapped, ”and no one makes money off of it unless they run a store, which wouldn”t be tax-exempt anyway. We don”t have any central authority or hierarchy. It”s a personal, individual path.”
There were covens, but they were usually small, ten to fifteen people, and Jasmine didn”t belong to any. She was still a rookie witch who didn”t know enough to even ask the right questions.
Max looked like he wanted to argue further, but Edna held up a hand, silencing him with a pointed look.
As she turned back to Jasmine, the woman”s expression was one of gentle curiosity, with no trace of judgment or condemnation. ”Tell me, Jasmine, has your practice ever produced any tangible results for you? Any instances where you felt like your spells or rituals had a real, measurable impact on your life?”
Jasmine nodded, a smile tugging at her lips as she remembered the countless times her incantations had seemed to work in her favor. ”Absolutely. I always do a special ritual before going on auditions, and more often than not, I end up getting the part. It”s like the universe is conspiring to help me succeed.”
Edna”s expression turned thoughtful, her head tilting slightly as she regarded Jasmine with a piercing gaze. ”So, would it be fair to say that you”ve never auditioned for any truly major roles? No leading parts in big-budget productions or anything like that?”
Jasmine felt her cheeks heat up, a twinge of embarrassment mingling with the ever-present sting of self-doubt. ”Well, no,” she admitted. ”But that”s because I knew those parts were out of my reach.”
”From divination?” Edna asked.
Jasmine nodded.
Something like understanding flickered through Edna”s eyes, shaded by a hint of sadness or pity. ”Perhaps it would have been better if you hadn”t consulted your cards or your crystals whether you should audition for bigger parts. It”s possible that you channeled your doubts and lack of belief in your own abilities into your divinations, producing the results you expected to see. And those results, in turn, only fed back into your insecurities, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
Jasmine stared at the woman as the truth of her words sank in. She had never stopped to think that her own fears and doubts might be influencing the very tools she relied on for guidance and reassurance.
”I”ve never thought of it that way, but you might be right. Do you really think that my own mind could have been sabotaging me?”
Edna reached out, her hand coming to rest on Jasmine”s arm. ”The mind is a powerful thing, and our beliefs, whether positive or negative, have a way of shaping our reality in ways we might not realize.”
Max, who had been watching the exchange with a skeptical expression on his infuriatingly handsome face, leaned forward, his elbows coming to rest on his knees. ”So, what else?” he asked, his gaze darting between Jasmine and Edna. ”If her divinations were just a reflection of her own doubts, does that mean there”s nothing to this whole Wicca thing? No real magic or power at all?”
Before Jasmine could jump to the defense of her beliefs once more, Edna spoke up again.
”I wouldn”t be so quick to dismiss the validity of Jasmine”s beliefs,” she said. ”Just because her divinations may have been influenced by her own thoughts and emotions doesn”t mean that there isn”t real power or truth to be found in the Wiccan path. The divine feminine, the connection to nature, the belief in the inherent sacredness of all life, are all powerful ideas with roots that go back thousands of years.”
Jasmine felt like hugging the woman, but instead, she glared at Max. ”Yeah, what she said.”
Edna smiled. ”The key is to learn to quiet the mind and trust your intuition and inner strength rather than relying solely on external tools for validation. Your power comes from within, Jasmine. You need to learn to tap into that.”
As Edna”s words washed over her, Jasmine felt a sudden sense of clarity. All this time, she had been looking outside herself for answers, for guidance, for proof of her own worth and value. But the real magic had been inside of her all along if only she knew how to reach it.
But wasn”t that why she had turned to the occult in the first place?
She”d always felt that there was a reservoir of something powerful inside of her, but she didn”t know how to tap into it.
Jasmine let out a breath. ”That”s the trick, isn”t it? To learn how to use what”s inside. The thing is, I don”t even know what I”ve got inside.” She put her hand on her stomach.
Edna reached for her hands and clasped them. ”I can help with that. Look into my eyes and let me in. Don”t try to fight me, or this will be more difficult than it needs to be.”
As Jasmine looked into Edna”s strange, wise eyes, she felt the world recede. ”Are you going to hypnotize me?”
”Something like that.”