Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Rock
Shina doesn't say a word when I lead her up the stairs to her room to shower. As I turn on the water and strip my clothes, she begins to shake.
“I left her,” she mumbles, her voice cracking with unshed tears.
“No, baby girl, you didn't. She's no longer here.”
She turns to face me. “Not the morgue, Rock. When I got married, I left her behind. She was still young and I never thought my ex would make me cut all contact with my family. I even had a spare room ready for her to visit… but she never did.”
Damn. I knew her ex was an abusive asshole, but I didn't realize to what extent.
“That's not your fault, Shina. Look at what you're doing today. You are raising those four amazing children. You gave them a loving, safe place they get to call home.”
“I should have been a safe place for my Lexi. But all we did was fight. She came to me asking for money, and I told her no. At the time I didn't have any to spare. I should have taken out a loan or sold some jewelry.”
“You can't think like that, baby. She had problems. For all you know the money could have gone to drugs that would have ended her life sooner.”
I pull her into my arms and hold her as she shatters. “You should go. You didn't sign up for this clusterfuck,” she mumbles against my chest, and I tighten my arms.
“I'm not going anywhere.” She sighs, and I know she's trying to distance herself again, but doesn't she see how much she means to me?
She steps back, and I release her, giving her a moment. I leave her to collect her thoughts as I step into the shower and quickly wash off the stench from the morgue and dried sweat from earlier.
I still have her juices on my cock, and the thought of her squirming makes me hard, but this is not the time for an erection.
I'm trying to picture naked mole rats in thong bikinis when she steps into the shower behind me.
She presses her chest against my back and gives me a hug. “Thank you, Rock. I know this isn't what you pictured coming home for some hot sex with me would be like, but I'm really thankful you were here.”
I pat her hands wrapped around my stomach and mumble. “I know things are casual, but I'm only a phone call away. Always.”
She nods, then releases me so I can face her. She's so beautiful. Inside and out. Her kind heart was one of the first things that drew me to her.
Her smile, her personality. But it was her eyes that hooked me in. The way they were haunted from her trauma, but she still showed compassion to those who needed it.
Shina is a diamond who just needs a little polishing. I hope one day she gives me a shot.
We finish our showers, then she gives me some clothes I must have left here.
Once dressed, we go back downstairs to mass chaos.
Xander has flour covering him from his hair to his toes. Kenna isn't fairing much better, and Alla looks exhausted.
Shina freezes and then starts to laugh. It's bright, big gut belly giggles.
“What's going on here?”
Leena steps closer with a big bowl of sugar cookie batter and hands it to me. “Can you finish rolling the dough out? I'd like to talk to my aunt,” she asks me, and my heart breaks as she avoids my eyes.
I can see the sadness and awareness in her hazel gaze.
I nod and glance at Shina. She looks lost for a moment, probably remembering the morgue and having to claim her sister's body. Then she straightens her smile and wraps her arms around her niece.
They walk off, and I attempt to make sugar cookies with the twins. It's not working out though.
I have done this before with my family, but it doesn’t mean they were exactly edible. Alec starts to cry, and I notice him in a swing in the corner of the kitchen.
He was so quiet that I had missed him.
Alla walks over to him, but I stop her. “Switch?” I offer, almost pleading with my eyes. “I can cook a mean lasagna, but baking isn't my forte.”
She laughs and nods, placing a hand on my cheek and tapping it in a loving gesture. “You’re good for her, Rock. Just don't give up. This family needs someone like you here. But yes.”
She takes the rolling pin from my hands. “Decorating cookies is one of my favorite holiday traditions. He probably just needs a diaper change.”
I leave her to help roll out the dough and walk over to the baby. I unbuckle Alec from his swing, then carry him to the living room. There is a changing table in the corner beside a huge play area for the kids.
This house is incredible. Shina made this a comfortable home for her and the kids. Beats my shitty two bedroom apartment any day.
Shina returns quicker than I thought and walks right over to me.
She picks up Alec and holds him tightly to her chest. I look behind her for Leena, but she's not there.
“She needs a minute… actually I was going to ask you a huge favor. I called Rosie and Jade and asked them to run the club tonight and Garrett offered to handle security. He has a couple guys at the station who wouldn't mind covering tonight for some free memberships.”
I raise my eyebrows at that and cross my arms. “You never give out memberships,” I mutter, and she sighs.
“Considering what transpired today I think I need to be home with my family… and if you'd like to… you could maybe stay?”
She looks down at the floor and I have never seen her this vulnerable before.
I step closer and place my finger under her chin, bringing her hazel eyes back to mine.
“I don't want to be anywhere else.”
Alec babbles, and I smile. Seeing her there, holding a baby makes me want crazy things.
I know her life is a mess, but asking me to stay is the first step to what we could be.
“Also, I hate to ask, but Leena was wanting to go get a real Christmas tree. This will be our first family Christmas. She doesn't want the fake one we have, and you have a truck…”
“Say no more. How about I take her, and I'll pick up some food on the way home?”
I freeze, waiting for her to catch on the last word I said. I didn't mean to imply this was my home, but it just feels right.
She must be too distracted because all she does is smile. “That would be great. I'm sick of pizza. Maybe burgers or Chinese?”
“You got it.”
I drive down a back road to the huge Christmas tree lot. Leena hasn't said much in the last hour of us being in my truck, and I don't blame her.
When we park, she glances at me and mumbles. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, kiddo. So, I gotta be honest here, this is my first time picking out a tree. Have you done this before?”
Her hazel eyes widen, and she shakes her head.
I laugh, then unbuckle, open my truck door, and stick one foot out. “Well, then, let's go find the best tree ever.”
She scoffs and opens her door, climbing out. “God, you're seriously weird,” she snarks, but her lips twitch, and her eyes are a little brighter.
I call it a win.
We grab some hot cocoa and cookies, then start looking at trees. The teenage boy manning the front gives Leena a once over and tries to flirt with her, telling us all about the different trees to choose from.
He's trying hard to get a reaction from her, but she's not interested. Honestly, I am starting to get annoyed.
“Hey, thanks. We'll let ya know when we find one,” I tell him and give him a twenty.
His eyes widen. “Thanks, man,” he says, then goes back to the front.
“You good?” I check in with Leena, and she nods.
“Yeah, thanks.”
As we walk along the paths, I see some good contenders, but not the one.
“Do you love my aunt? Are you going to become my new uncle or something?” she asks as I stop to touch one of the branches.
It's a Blue Fir, and though expensive, I like it. It's unique. Reminds me of Shina.
I glance at Leena. “I don't know where things will go, kiddo, but would that be a bad thing?”
She looks off into the distance and sniffles. “I've never had a real home before. My mom tried, but she had too many demons haunting her. I think I'd like to have a real family. My brothers and sister deserve one too.”
Fuck, this kid's breaking my heart.
“I do. Love your aunt. But she's not ready for that yet.”
I give her a little honesty, and she nods.
“Yeah, but I can tell she really likes you. Don't fuck it up. And that's the tree. It's perfectly imperfect like we are.”
She turns and walks toward the front to grab an attendant's help.
I think over what she said the whole time I'm chopping down a tree, wrapping it in twine, and loading it into the truck bed. Even driving to Walmart, as we grab some decorations and a tree stand, I'm lost in thought.
Her words just keep replaying. Shina likes me! God, I feel like some teenage school boy who just got flashed for the first time.
My palms are sweaty, my heart is racing, and I'm happy.
“How about this?” Leena holds out a small dog ornament with a bone in its mouth and a red hat on its head, lopsided, hiding one ear.
I nod and also grab a baby's first Christmas for Alec and a unicorn and red truck for the twins. As we wait to check out, I scroll through my phone for possible take out options.
Shina said no pizza. A lot of places are shut down for the holidays though.
“What do you want to eat?” I ask Leena as she grabs some snacks on the side of the aisle.
She shrugs, and I groan.
“Burgers? Chinese? Wendy's?”
“The twins love Wendy's chicken nuggets, and I like their frostys.”
“Wendy's it is.”
I place a large order on the app, so they have time to get it all together. I got a little of everything, since I don't know what Alla or Shina will want.
It doesn't take us long to load the car up, then swing by the restaurant. Soon we are headed back to the house, and I stop at the gate.
“Do you know the code?” I ask, sheepishly.
“I was sworn to secrecy. Just buzz the intercom. They will let us in.”
I wave at the camera in the corner and press the button.
“They're back!” I hear Kenna squeal, and Shina laugh through the intercom. Then the box buzzes, and the gate slowly opens.
“Do you know why your aunt has so much security here?”
I figure now is the time to get the insider scoop. Shina isn't always willing to open up.
“Ah, yeah. My uncle is a very bad man. Shina just wants to keep us safe,” she mutters then wipes her eyes. “I wish I could have kept my mom safe,” she whispers, and I place my hand on her shoulder, giving her a light squeeze.
“I know it won't mean much now, but you're just a kid, Leena. It wasn’t your responsibility to keep her safe.”
“I don't know any other life. I was the one who made meals, took care of the baby, and made sure the twins got to school.”
“Shina will do that from now on, and Alla too. Just enjoy being a kid. It goes fast. Trust me. One blink and you're twenty-four.”
She sighs and faces the window as I continue up the long driveway.
Looks like they have been busy since we left. Lights hang in front of the door, and there is a blow up snowman in the yard now.
Today has been long and rough, but you wouldn't know it when we walked inside. The kids talk a mile a minute in excitement, asking me a million questions.
Shina gives me a big smile and takes the food, bringing it into the den, placing it on a large coffee table.
Alla joins us with a tray of silverware, plates and drinks.
We sit down to eat, and I can't help but to be in awe of Shina. She’s so undeniably strong. It’s like she never went to a morgue to identify her sister this afternoon.
She laughs with the kids and rocks Alec when he gets fussy, all with a smile on her face.
“Can we do the tree now?” Xander asks me, and I look at Shina.
She nods with a smirk and I jump up. “Wanna help me, little man?”
“Yes!” he shouts before rushing to get his coat and shoes on.
Shina grabs a blanket, wrapping it tight around the baby, then follows us outside.
“Wow, that has to be the biggest tree I have ever seen,” Xander mumbles then hops from foot to foot.
“Hopefully it fits,” Shina mutters, worried.
“It will.” I assure her and wink. She rolls her eyes, but laughs.
“Thanks again. For doing all of this. How was she?”
“Fine. A little quiet, but she opened up a bit. It's going to take some time. Does she see or talk to anyone? I know someone if you decide to go down that route. My niece sees someone on Cadbery Lane.”
“Really? Yeah, I mentioned her speaking to someone earlier, and she wasn't against it. So maybe.”
Alec starts to fuss, so Shina brings him inside as Xander and I finish unloading my truck.
I glance around me at the house, kids, Shina. I don't know what's in store for us, but right here and now… Even in the midst of tragedy, I feel like this is where I'm meant to be. That I'm home.