Chapter 14 – Sylvia
Chapter Fourteen
Sylvia
“What do you want, Thomas?”
He’s late to our meeting — as usual. Dealing with him has been a pain lately.
Amina says he’s going through a lot and he needs a friend but Thomas’ moods are just…
I don’t know, a burden? I have school to worry about.
And my business. And… I met someone. But I don’t want Thomas knowing that because he’ll run his mouth to Violet who will run her mouth to Amina or worse, he’ll tell my big sis directly.
I ain’t ready for all that.
Thomas fidgets with the strings on his hoodie, the black nail polish he painted idly on his hands during our statistics class shimmering as he moves the hoodie strings between his fingers.
Nerves. Thomas isn’t normally nervous, but when he is, it’s normally because he’s done some morally incorrect bullshit.
“Someone’s after me, Syl.”
“Wow, join the club Thomas,” I snap. “When someone was after me, you didn’t have much to say about that, did you?”
“Well, it wasn’t my problem.”
“Thomas, you are kind of a bad person.”
“Yeah, and you’re a good person, that’s why we’re friends.”
Friends? Mr. “Friends” is on completely thin ice here considering how he’s treated me.
“We are only 15% friends considering you stole our dance studio, you won’t help me catch whoever vandalized my room, you steal my best friend away from dance practice to work on your stupid Ethics project, and now you’re only coming to me because you need something.”
Thomas gives me one of those monumentally stupid expressions that he gives whenever I explain basic human decency to him. I really don’t see it for guys with that square jawline and way too much hair like that.
“I suppose I’m sorry.”
“You suppose? Where did you learn to apologize, Thomas? A barn?”
“Sorry,” he mumbles, which I guess is the closest I can expect from his annoying ass. I pinch his forearm as a final act of retribution. He flinches but doesn’t otherwise respond. I only feel mildly satisfied from my tiny act of violence. I roll my eyes.
“Okay. Fine. What do you need from me exactly? Because if someone’s really after you, that sports team of giants seem like they would do a great job of handling that for you.”
“I’ve kept things from you,” he blurts out. “And you won’t like it when you find out.”
“Thomas, I’m not your girlfriend. You can have your little secrets.”
“It’s about what I told you this summer.”
We promised each other that we wouldn’t talk about that and I don’t want him to bring it up again.
Thomas tried confessing his creepy past to me, but I couldn’t handle it.
I didn’t want to hear about his horrible life or the horrible things that he did when he was a teenager.
That stuff makes me look at him differently.
“Seriously? Thomas. Please. I don’t need to know.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Why? Because I have stuff to do, Thomas.”
I have to call my mom for one thing. She’s been so lonely without dad. Denise and Teresa try their best, and she has Amina now, but I know she misses me like hell.
“Someone’s blackmailing me.”
“Who would blackmail you?”
I don’t mean to sound so judgmental, but Thomas is just one of those guys who keeps to himself.
He’s friends with the crew team, but he constantly rebuffs advances from girls, even regular ass conversations with girls.
He doesn’t talk to anyone who doesn’t entirely interest him and he isn’t shy about letting people know that they don’t interest him at all.
Despite his horrible personality, girls in our year are crazy about Thomas’ looks.
Even Clover and Kola act like they think he’s hot — and neither of them even like him.
“I dunno. I thought it might be… your friend. But it’s not.”
“Which friend?”
Damn. Why do I sound so defensive? Does he know about him?
“Clover. Obviou— I mean. Clover.”
At least he takes the opportunity to stop himself from being condescending, which is just about a first for Thomas Bainbridge.
“Clover wouldn’t blackmail you. What? Why the hell would Clover care about you?”
“Can you please listen, Syl.”
“Then say something worth listening to, Thomas.”
“Amelia Harrington. I told you about that night, but I didn’t tell you about her.”
“I’m listening…”
And then he tells me. I thought Thomas confessed all his dark secrets to me this summer, but what he tells me in the gym lobby, through his mumbles and whispers, scares me to my core. He hasn’t just done something dark or dangerous. He did something criminal.
I try to hold myself together even if my heart races. At least he’s telling me somewhere in public. I don’t want to be alone with Thomas anymore and I wish he didn’t tell me.
“I didn’t want you to find out from someone else.”
I so wish he didn’t tell me. How can Thomas expect me to keep this secret and look at him the same way?
I have to keep my cool. Amina wants me to be kind to him, so fine. But I was right. This makes me look at him differently. Maybe it’s for the best that he stays away from girls here.
“Who would blackmail you about this?”
It’s the only answer that I can think of, but only because maybe the two seemingly unrelated events actually have some connection. Vandalism and blackmail aren’t the same crime, but the Fox Academy is a pretty small school. Thomas shrugs and sticks his hands back in his pockets.
“I don’t know. Listen, Sylvia. I didn’t want to tell you. I know what I did is unforgivable.”
“It’s not just unforgivable Thomas. You effectively killed someone.”
“I know.”
“And you got away with it because…”
“Because I’m rich,” he interrupts. “I know that. Listen, I’m not the same person. I’m trying not to be.”
“Excuse me if I don’t believe that.”
I don’t mean to sound like I hate him, but Thomas’ confession makes me feel just that. Hatred.
“Violet doesn’t know. Amina doesn’t know. Please, you can’t tell them. Violet’s still hurting from my parents’ divorce.”
“What about her family? Don’t you think they’re still hurting?”
He looks away from me, his brows pinching together in anger.
My palms grow cold. I shouldn’t anger him.
I don’t know the guy standing in front of me.
I thought we were friends, but we can’t be friends.
There are two versions of Thomas — the human one and the monster.
I thought maybe one would overcome the other — obviously, the human side of him. But now, all I see is a monster.
“Clover wouldn’t have any reason to blackmail you,” I tell him. “I need some space from this, but leave her alone, Thomas. I don’t want you going after her.”
“I won’t. I wouldn’t.”
His words sound hollow. I don’t believe him at all.
If he can do something as horrible as what he just described, he can do worse.
I don’t bother telling him my suspicions about the vandalism.
I’d rather take this information to my friends — about the blackmail, not the specifics of his secret — and continue our investigation in private.
I make some excuse and Thomas struts off to crew practice. I feel safer once he disappears into the fold of his fellow rowers. Once I’m sure he’s out of sight, I send a text message to the only person I want to see right now — the person not even my friends know I’m talking to.
No one can know I’m talking to him.
Sylvia: Tonight. Boathouse. 10:30 p.m.
He responds in minutes.
I’ll be there, darling. Be safe.
He’s so damned protective. I know I shouldn’t need protecting, but given everything that’s happened, it’s nice to have.
Sylvia: I’m still not ready to go all the way.
Don’t worry. I can be patient.
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