Chapter 42 – Thomas
Chapter Forty-Two
Thomas
I don’t want Clover to hide from me. She’s so soft and sweet and kissing her makes me forget that she’s wicked with a cricket bat. I don’t want her to fear me. I thought I could handle it if that meant she was mine, but I can’t stand her fear anymore.
I take her lower lips between mine, yearning for more than a taste of her mouth. I’ve been so bloody patient with her and I could give her so much more. You know when you meet a girl and you just know… you’ll do anything so this one lasts.
“Do you feel better yet?” I murmur, as the mirror fogs up from the heat we’ve already created in the tiny loo. A doctor or nurse could walk in at any time, but that doesn’t deter me from wanting Clover here, however she’ll have me.
“No,” she says. “Kisses can’t fix this, Thomas.”
It’s the first time she’s ever admitted all on her own that we’re kissing, that somehow in this fucked up “sworn enemies” relationship, we’ve ended up in each other’s arms repeatedly.
It’s my fault. I know it’s my fault. But fuck’s sake, what am I meant to do when she kisses back?
I can’t resist her. My cock can’t resist her and I realize that I’m utterly, completely fucked.
I really care about Clover.
I push my hair back and try to reason. When the fuck have I successfully reasoned when it comes to Clover? She makes me utterly weak. I have no morals, no cares in the world when I’m with her except having her against me.
“What happened?” I ask her, because I really fucking care and I really fucking mean it. “Why do you hate hospitals?”
I know she doesn’t want to answer me, but I want her to stop running. If she stops running, I can stop chasing. I can stop listening to my wild heart and be the man she wants. Stable. Calm. Patient.
“Sylvia needs us,” Clover says, her chest shaking. “We can go.”
She shoves those little signs of weakness away, like she’s so fucking scared I’ll hurt her if she just shows me that she’s human. She’s always had to be tough, hasn’t she? That makes her special. She’s different from girls I’ve known before.
Her pain is nothing like Amelia’s. Clover’s face contorts in anguish as I won’t let her past, and she fights back tears.
“We’re not friends,” she whispers, looking down and away from me. “I can’t tell you all my problems. So chill.”
“You’re crying.”
“I’m not,” she snarls as her eyes redden.
“Fucking tell me, or I’ll scream ‘rape’.”
Clover glares at me, completely unappreciative of my sense of humor. At least she isn’t crying.
“You are so annoying.”
“Tell me the truth.”
“Why the fuck do you want to know?”
“Because. I care.”
Clover starts to say something rude, but then she bites her lip and looks down again. She draws her sleeve to her eye to wipe away her definitely-not-tears.
“My mom tried to kill herself three years ago. She took a bunch of pills and she cut herself and… I found her.”
I don’t wait for her to say more. I wrap my arms around her, squeezing Clover against my chest. She squeaks slightly as I knock the wind out of her.
I loosen my grasp, but not enough that she can get away.
I just fucking hold her because I really really wanted to and holy shit, I didn’t expect her to say that. She doesn’t wriggle away.
Clover puts her head on my chest and then I feel warm liquid dampening my shirt. She’s crying. My little fighter’s crying.
“Please,” she whispers. “Please don’t tell anyone that you saw me cry.”
She has her priorities straight, that’s certain.
I don’t answer her yet. I kiss the top of Clover’s beautiful head and I keep her tightly against my chest. Why does she draw this weird person out of me?
I’m a monster. A sociopath. I completely ruined a girl’s life.
I told myself I’d stay away from Clover and not let the same thing happen, but I don’t want to let her go.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Her body shudders against mine. I love sharing our warmth like this. I don’t want to let her go.
“I’m fine,” she breathes. “I swear, I’m fine.”
Her chest shudders again and she doesn’t seem fine at all.
“I don’t want Sylvia to die,” she whispers. “I really don’t.”
“We won’t let that happen,” I tell her. “We have a plan. You, me, Kola, Sylvia… We have a plan.”
“Yeah,” Clover whispers. She clutches my shirt and keeps her head against my chest. I don’t want her to stop resting her head against my chest. I hold her head against my chest and the thought of letting her go… I kiss her forehead again and she sniffles before pulling away.
“Thomas…” she says. “I can’t do this. You and me… we just can’t.”
She pushes the door open and races away, the bathroom door slamming behind her as I lean against the sink.
Numb. What the hell did I do wrong? I want to go after her, but I open the bathroom door and Crispin’s standing right there, glaring as usual.
His glare is even more terrifying than before with that false eye.
“How long have you known about Theo?” he snaps.
I need to go after her. But there’s no getting through the brick wall of Crispin Barclay. His nose is so sharp, it could cut me. I don’t dare push past him.
“What?” I grunt instead.
“I asked you to look after Sylvia and she’s spent the past three months banging Theo Hargreaves. How long have you known?”
Typical Barclay, searching for someone to punish. Kit’s just as petty, he’s just too much of a drunken fuck to keep track of his enemies.
“Listen, I didn’t know. Sylvia’s secrets aren’t mine to uncover. She’s not my responsibility, anyway.”
Crispin’s face turns bright red, even if I’m just being truthful.
“Is that so, Thomas?”
“I swear, I didn’t know.”
“I’m going to kill him. He’s twenty-four years old and she’s only eighteen. She’s Amina’s sister for fuck’s sake.”
“I have to go,” I mutter.
Crispin looks like he’s going to barbecue me.
“Go where?”
“After Clover. I’m sorry…”
He stretches his arm out and grabs me hard. I give him a look and he lets go, but he keeps his threatening gaze fixed on me.
“Sylvia’s awake,” Crispin says. “You’re coming with me. I am not going to let Theodore get away with this and you’re in trouble too.”
“Why the fuck am I in trouble?”
“I saw that girl fleeing from the loo in tears,” Crispin says. “I don’t know how or why, but you’re in trouble.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong.”
I thought everything was going right between us for a change. But Crispin won’t let me out of trouble. I walk back into Sylvia’s hospital room. Theo has his hand on her shoulder, but Amina looks like she’s going to burst with outrage.
“I know I kidnapped you,” Theo says to Amina. “I know she’s too young for me.”
“When the hell did this start?” Amina asks. “My sister was sixteen when you met her, Theo. Sixteen!”
Amina folds her arms and Theo actually looks scared. Bloody hell. He’s a wanker. I would never keep Clover a secret – not like there’s anything going on between us.
“I’m grown, Amina,” Sylvia says. “I didn’t want you to find out because… we know what’s going to happen next semester.”
“Exactly why this is a horrible idea,” Amina says. “Theo, how could you do this?”
This goes on for quite some time. I stop listening as Clover draws all my attention. She listens to the argument, putting her hand on Sylvia’s shoulder, but careful not to get overly involved.
I can tell she’s upset with Sylvia for the secret, even if she doesn’t speak up and she offers her friend support.
She doesn’t trust Theo. I don’t care enough to trust Hargreaves or not.
Who cares about him? I don’t. I just care about Clover and what might happen to her and whoever attacked Sylvia.
We have bigger problems than whoever Sylvia wants to sleep with.
Fuck. Can we please talk about something important?
“Amina,” I interrupt, earning a popped hip and a glare from Amina Hewett.
“What do you want, Thomas?”
“Shouldn’t we focus less on Sylvia’s secret and more about who did this to her?”
Amina takes her shoe off and throws it at my face.
After that… hell breaks loose. Sylvia tries to get out of bed.
Theo desperately tries to stop her. Crispin holds back Amina from getting her other shoe and Clover…
has her cell phone out, filming Amina attacking me.
Crispin apologizes profusely, blaming her pregnancy hormones.
At least he eventually pulls her off me.
Fuck’s sake. Why do I bother talking?
* * *