33. Freya
FREYA
M y mind’s still all over the place when we get home.
Jack returned to the SCU offices, leaving me to ride back with the guys. I spent most of the journey staring out the window and trying to untangle the mess of feelings seeing my mother and meeting my grandparents had left behind.
I’d all but forgotten why I went off like I did in the first place until River’s hand circles my arm, stopping me from following the others into the kitchen.
His lips brush my ear. “Upstairs. Now.”
The threat he left me with earlier comes rushing back and for once I don’t want to fight him. His control settles over me like a blanket, a balm to my shattered mind.
He lets me go and I walk upstairs.
River’s arranged for the FBI jet to take us to L.A.
first thing tomorrow, which means we have the whole evening for whatever he has planned.
I wait for him in his room and he leaves me just long enough to squirm, recalling the feel of his ropes on my skin and wondering how exactly he plans to punish me.
I’m sitting at the end of his bed when the door opens and River enters.
His eyes track over me before he leans against the door and crosses his arms. “I had to end a call with Harley’s parents to chase after you.” His voice rumbles with disapproval that curls my toes.
I wince, guilt a gray fog inside my stomach, but if River had agreed to visit my mother this morning, I wouldn’t have needed to go to the lengths I did. “I’m not going to apologize.”
River’s eyes flare, the lines of his throat tensing. He wants to call me on my attitude, but he doesn’t, which means he’s still fighting his need to dominate.
I rise from the bed and walk over to him. Cupping his face in my palm, I make sure he really hears it when I say, “I’ve forgiven you, River. You don’t need to hold back.”
“I don’t, huh?” He leans into my palm, his hands dropping to curl around my hips.
I shake my head.
River’s tapered gaze analyzes me before he nods and taps my ass. “Go get changed, we’re going out.”
I frown but when I open my mouth his hand moves whip-fast, pinching my cheeks between his thumb and fingers. “Now’s really not a good time to question me, Freya.”
Going out isn’t exactly what I was expecting. I’m worried he’s still holding back but then he lowers his hand to settle around my throat.
“I know what you need,” he says, his voice lethally soft. “But if you want it, you have to trust me.”
I press my lips together as I realize why River’s been treading so carefully.
He doesn’t just need my forgiveness, he needs my trust. After everything he’s done it should be a lot to ask but it’s really not.
I love River and I know deep in my bones that he never meant to hurt me, and I know he’d cut off his own hand before doing it again. It’s why he’s been so hesitant of late.
So I give him the trust he needs and keep my questions to myself as I go to my room and change.
River didn’t say where we’re going, but I decide if he’s not going to touch me yet, I can at least make him regret that decision.
I choose a black bra and wear it under a gauzy see-through black shirt.
Six months ago, I’d never have gone out in public in a top that showed my scars but somewhere between Jude calling me a warrior and the others worshiping my body, I stopped feeling the need to hide them.
I pair the top with flared black pants and a thin belt. I’m almost ready when River finds me in the bathroom. His gaze peruses my outfit before he steps up behind me.
I pause, my mascara halfway to my face, as he unbuttons my pants and slides his hand between my legs.
I drop the mascara and brace my hands against the bathroom counter. “What are you doing?”
River rolls the pad of his finger over my clit before going lower. “Just adding the final touch to your outfit.” He spreads my arousal around then pulls away to retrieve a small black vibrator from his pocket. “Open.”
He holds the egg-shaped part of the toy to my lips and I watch his eyes blaze in the mirror as I suck it into my mouth. The toy pops free when River pulls it out.
He works his hand between my legs and I gasp as he slides the egg inside of me.
The way it sits means the curved part of the toy nestles between my lower lips and presses against my clit.
Desire sprinkles over me. “Not much of a punishment, River.” I sigh in pleasure, my fingers curling around the bathroom counter.
River chuckles darkly. “Just remember,” he says as he gets out his phone, “you wanted this.” He presses a button and my knees almost buckle when the toy vibrates inside of me.
The powerful buzz lowers to a subtle, torturous vibration and I catch my breath, staring at my flushed cheeks in the mirror.
River meets my gaze. “That was a five. You’re on a one now.”
I swallow and wet my lips, starting to get a sense of how this evening is going to go. “How many levels?” I ask.
A self-satisfied smile plays on the edges of River’s lips. “Twelve.”
Fuck.
River leaves me to finish getting ready.
When I come downstairs all four of the guys are waiting by the door.
I stop on the last step, struck by how incredibly lucky I am to have trespassed onto a crime scene and ended up here, with them.
They’re so gorgeous I could die but it’s the way they look at me that has my heart beating overtime.
A myriad of emotions cross their faces as they take in my outfit.
Behind his glasses, Oz’s eyes fill with awe. Jude looks so fucking proud and Eli, well Eli looks like he wants to tear my clothes off and take me right here in the hall.
River’s gaze is more guarded but from the way his fingers tighten around the car keys and the possessiveness in his eyes as he takes in my outfit, I’m surprised he hasn’t ordered me to go change. Instead, his hand shifts in his pocket and the vibrator between my legs gives a short, sharp burst.
I grip onto the banister, glaring at him, but he just stares back. I guess teasing each other is a two-way street.
River keeps the vibrator on the lowest setting as we drive to our destination.
The vibrations aren’t strong but they’re constant and, by the time we pull up in front of Mozzy’s, I’m a squirming mess.
It doesn’t help that I’ve been sitting in the back between Eli and Jude, both of whom spent the drive tracing patterns on my inner thighs.
I need to come, and the sensations in my core are no longer enough. They’re too gentle to be pleasurable anymore and the soft vibrations are just an aching reminder that I need more.
Eli holds the door open for me and I get a short reprieve, the toy turning off, when Josh spots me from behind the bar. He sets down the drink he was pouring and limps over to us.
“You’re back!”
I smile as he folds me into a hug. “You look good,” I say when we come apart, emotion choking me up. The last time I saw Josh he was lying on a stretcher, beaten to a pulp.
He lifts his fringe off his forehead to reveal a nasty scar. “This one’s sticking around and my leg’s kind of screwy but I’m healing well. The doctors think I’m a freak of nature.”
I laugh. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
He hooks his arm around me and kisses the top of my head. “Back at ya, Frey.” He waves at our group. “Go take a seat, I’ll send Matty over to get your order.”
River leads us to one of the booths by the windows. He and Jude take one side while I’m sandwiched between Oz and Eli on the other.
My senses tingle and I look up to find River glaring at me. “What?” I ask.
“He hugged you.”
I gape at him. “Seriously? It’s Josh, River. Him and Luke are practically already married, not to mention he’s one hundred percent gay.”
“He still touched you. I’m tempted to make it another rule that only we’re allowed to do that.”
I roll my eyes only to jolt as the buzzing at my core comes back full force.
“Attitude, Freya.”
The vibrations lower and I glower at him as I catch my breath. “You’re being ridiculous.”
River lifts a shoulder. “Maybe. But tonight, there’s not much you can do about it.” Then to prove his point he increases the vibrations higher than the five he used in the bathroom.
The toy hits dual spots, the sensations gripping my core and sending shudders through my body.
I grab Eli and Oz’s thighs and grit my teeth, torn between wanting the vibrations to stop because we’re in the middle of a freaking bar and needing them to continue, to let me find the climax River’s taunting me with.
The toy stops.
My panties are soaked and it’s not till the young man’s voice hits my ears that I realize the waiter is here.
“Are you okay, miss?” Matty asks. He’s skinny as a twig with acne dotting his face and he can’t be more than eighteen.
I go to assure him I’m fine when the vibrations start again. Not as high this time, just a low-level hum which ripples through me.
“Miss?”
River looks at me. “She’s just feeling a little flustered. Tell the man what you want to eat, Freya.”
He’s enjoying this too much.
I turn to Matty. “I’ll take a burger and fries. And a caramel—” My voice hitches as the toy increases speed. I grit my teeth. “A caramel milkshake.”
Matty eyes me, his cheeks a bright red. He must have already taken the others’ orders because he hurries off.
“You know you’ve probably traumatized the poor kid,” I tell River.
Eli covers his laugh with a curled fist. “Either that or he’s going to jack off in the bathroom.”
I whack his arm with the back of my hand and turn to River. “Can I at least eat my meal in peace? Sir .”
River’s lips twitch at the scorn in my tone. “We’ll see.”
The vibrations drop back to the lowest level, and I settle into the booth somehow simultaneously pissed at River and grateful for the reprieve.
Across from me, Jude fiddles with the napkin holder, tilting it on one corner and spinning it around. “You know,” he says. “This is our first official date night, all of us together.”