Chapter 13 #2
I have to get these words out before he touches me again and I lose myself once more.
“Judge, I am being thrown into a world I don't understand, and you forced a mating mark on my neck,” I manage out through the pain.
“My brain is altered. And you're doing things without telling me or explaining it to me.
.." I shake my head, the tears starting again.
"You just wanted me in there as a plaything. "
The anger is back in his eyes. “You are not a plaything."
"Then why am I treated like one?" The words echo off the walls, unable to use my hands as I talk because any movement brings on the agony.
"I want to feel like I have a mate who loves me.
A mate who thinks the world of me. A mate who doesn't do what you did—" I look off, thinking of every person who was supposed to protect me and didn't. "My own family did this to me," I say, hiccuping through the tears. "My dad was an alpha. And my mom, an omega. They wanted to give me away at twelve, to force me to mate some man in his twenties. And I really thought they wouldn’t. That’s I’d be their exception,” I say, shaking my head, and I stop talking.
It’s like now is the first time I’m feeling it all. In the worst fucking place imaginable.
"Please," Judge says, his voice somehow gentle. "Come back to me. Let me take care of you, Diana.”
Oh, I love those words. I love his scent. I want him to hold me…
I glance around, wondering if there’s anywhere I can even run to, like one last bit of flirtation with independence. He must see it in my face, because something shifts in his expression—possessiveness and jealousy at the thought of me leaving again.
"I don't want to explain more while in here,” Judge quickly says. “When I have no fucking idea who is listening. We can speak about whatever you want in privacy. Please, trust me. And let me look at your back.”
Of course, he starts to fucking purr.
The sound rolls through me, warm and deep, and I don't have the energy to tell him to stop. I don't have the energy for anything anymore.
Then we hear footsteps.
It’s someone hurried, and my slightly blurred vision sharpens when I see it’s Selene.
She appears at the end of the corridor where Sid was, her eyes widening when she spots Judge, and then even wider when she sees me, and she looks a terrible mess, only to get paler as she takes me in.
It makes me wonder if I’m pale or how much blood I’m losing, or if it really is pooling around me.
I honestly haven’t looked or moved to gauge the depth of my injuries.
Is it macabre of me that I kind of honestly hope I might just die right here and now, with my mate’s scent in lungs one last time? Before he has a chance to ruin me further?
“Diana it was an accident—”
Judge doesn't take his eyes off me. Doesn't even turn his head. "If you come one step closer, Selene,” he says, much louder, his voice terrifyingly calm, "I'll rip your head off and pull your spine out. You are extraordinarily lucky that my focus isn't on you right now."
He hardly finishes his sentence before she bolts, abandoning me once again.
I let my gaze rest on Judge, exhausted and hollow and so tired of fighting. I throw up a weak arm in her direction. “She left me, too. Did you know that? Twice in the same day, now. I just love my life.”
"Diana," he croons, that purr still rumbling in his chest. "You are mine, Diana. I am yours. You're getting pale. Let me take care of you.”
"Why did you show her off to everyone?" I ask, trying to stall, my voice growing weaker. “Just give me that, please. Before you touch me again.”
Something flashes in his eyes at my mention of him touching me.
"I was afraid," he admits, and it sounds like it actually hurts him to say those words.
“I had seen it work for dozens of alphas if they isolated their mate. Within a week or two, their omega was happy. You weren't. I didn't know what to do, but I also needed the bond to make you feel more secure. And I don’t want to say more until I know it’s just us.”
Well, shit. I can feel it in the tether—the truth of it, the weight of old grief and fresh terror. He's not lying. He's not manipulating. He's just... broken. Like me. And still, I regret nothing. I don't regret coming here. I don't regret running. I needed to know. I needed to see.
"If I go back,” I say, my tears forming again, aware of the rose pricking my hands again.
A sob even rises like it came from nothing.
“I can't handle my heart hurting again, Judge.
" My voice breaks on his name. "I can't do it again.” My head shakes, my voice cracking even more. “I can’t do it again. Don’t make me break again.”
"I can’t promise you won’t hurt again, sweetheart.
Life isn’t that fair. But I will never betray you.
You’re safe with me, even if I fuck things up.
You have my loyalty, Diana.” His voice drops, soft and certain, and there’s even a wave in it.
“Please, you’re scaring me right now with how pale you are. ”
I can feel I'm getting lightheaded, the edges of my vision blurring even more. But I also don't feel a pool of blood beneath me, so maybe it's just shock? Maybe it's everything catching up at once…
Then my vision starts to tunnel hard. "Help me," I whisper.
It's as if within that second he's on me, grabbing me, lifting me, cradling me against his chest like I weigh nothing. His hands are still bleeding, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. All his focus is on me.
And as the world starts to fade out, I hear him say, "You're safe with me, Diana. Your alpha is here.”