Chapter 16
Darren
This has been one of the best nights of my life. Having Macie here has turned my house into a home, and I didn't even realize how much I needed it until she came into my life. Ella left a few hours ago, and I've gotten Nicole down for the night.
The crack of thunder can be heard from outside as a storm system moves into our area. It's supposed to be a lot warmer over the next few days, and I can't wait. Macie and I meet in the living room, both of us changed for relaxation.
"Wanna go out on the back porch?" I ask her.
"It's raining," she reminds me.
"I know, but I love the rain." I always wanted to be out in it my entire life. I don't know what it is that draws me to it, but I love it. Reaching over, I grab a hat, putting it on my head to try and ward off some of the moisture.
"Alright." She grins, walking to the back door. "Let's go out there."
I put my hand on the small of her back, and direct her through the doorway. I expect her to wait with me, but not this girl I want to call mine. She takes off at a run, and turns around in a circle, holding her hands up to the sky.
I groan deep in my throat as I watch her. The rain is coming down in sheets, and it's plastered her clothing against her body, leaving very little to the imagination.
I'm standing in the alcove that houses the back door, pulling my hat further down over my eyes. The only light is coming from the string lights along the roof of the porch, and the flood light on the edge of the property. It's enough though, to see her as she dances to a song only she hears.
"C'mon eight pack. Dance with me."
There's one thing that the two of us know well from seeing each other at The Lean To, and that's dancing.
"We don't have music," I yell over the sound of the rain.
"We don't need it," she argues.
Shaking my head, I kick off the edge of my house, and walk out into the rainstorm. Once I get to her, she reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me to her. With my free hand, I palm her neck, and run my thumb along her jawline, tilting her face back. "You look beautiful here in the rain."
"Kiss me, D?"
Leaning in, I tilt my head to the side, but the bill of the hat I'm wearing gets in the way. Pulling back, I turn it around, before placing it on my head.
"Look at you doing all that sexy shit," she smirks, licking some of the rainwater from her lips.
Our eyes meet, and this time I lean down, stopping just before our lips meet. "Only the sexy shit for you."
She giggles, before I steal it with my lips.
Her lips are soft against mine despite the rain hammering down around us, and I keep my hand cupped along her jaw, holding her steady while I kiss her slow, taking my time even though the storm's doing everything it can to rush us.
She tastes like rainwater and the sweetness of the dessert we had.
I could stand out here all night just like this if she let me.
She pulls back first, laughing, water dripping off the ends of her hair. "Okay, now dance with me. For real this time."
"There's no music, Mace."
"So? Make some up." She starts swaying again, hips moving to a beat that exists only in her head, and I watch her for a second before I give in, pulling her back against me, one hand at the small of her back, the other still holding hers.
We don't have a song, but we don't need one.
I hum something low, something that doesn't really have a melody so much as a rhythm, and she laughs against my chest, following it anyway, both of us swaying in circles across the wet grass while the rain keeps coming down around us.
Her shirt is soaked through, clinging to every curve, and I keep my eyes on her face instead of anywhere else, because if I look anywhere else I'm not going to be able to keep dancing.
"This is ridiculous," she says, tipping her head back to look at me, water running down her cheeks. "We're gonna catch pneumonia."
"Worth it." And I mean every word of it.
"You're insane." She laughs, hooking her fingers in the waistband of my shorts.
"You love it."
She doesn't argue that, just smiles instead, the kind of smile that hits me somewhere deep in my chest every single time she gives it to me.
I spin her out, and she twirls, arms extended, laughing loud enough that I'm sure my neighbors can hear it over the thunder, then I pull her back in, catching her against me before she can stumble on the slick grass.
"Careful." I steady her with both hands on her hips.
"I've got you." She loops her arms around my neck instead, rain still coming down between us. "Or you've got me. I don't really know which one anymore."
That’s about the truest words I’ve ever spoken. I don’t know how this woman knew I needed her in my life, but she did, and I’m extremely grateful that she’s here. I don’t know what I would do without her.
"Both, probably." I brush a strand of wet hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear. "Been thinking about something, and I want to say it before I lose my nerve."
"That sounds ominous."
"Not ominous. It’s just important." I take a breath, feeling my heart pick up in a way that's got nothing to do with the dancing. "When they find Gerald, and this whole thing with him is finally over, I don't want you to leave."
She goes still under my hands, rain dripping between us, and for a second I think I've said the wrong thing, moved too fast, asked for something she's not ready to give.
"Darren…"
"Let me finish. I know it's fast. I know we've only really known each other a few months, and most of that's been sitting at the bar while we talked, or dancing without any words..
" I keep my hands steady on her hips, keep my eyes locked on hers even though the rain's making it hard to see clearly.
"But having you here, in my house, with Nicole, it's turned into something I don't want to give up once the danger's gone.
I like waking up next to you. I like watching you with my daughter.
I like coming home and knowing you're gonna be there. "
"You barely know me outside of a crisis." Her voice wavers, and I can't tell if it's the cold or something else entirely. "What if all of this just feels intense because of everything that's happened? What if it's not real once things go back to normal?"
"It's real, Mace." I say it without hesitating, because I've thought about this plenty over the last few days, turned it over in my head enough times to know I'm not just caught up in adrenaline.
"I’ve watched you with Nicole when you didn't think I was paying attention.
I watched you laugh with Ella like you've known her your whole life.
None of that's forced. None of that's because you're scared and looking for somewhere safe to be. "
She's quiet for a second, rain running down both our faces, and I wait, because I need to know what's going on behind her eyes before I say anything else.
"I like being here." Her voice comes out smaller than I expect. "I like waking up in your bed. I like making breakfast with Nicole while you get ready for work. I like all of it, Darren, more than I probably should this early."
"That's not early. That's just honest."
"It scares me." She looks down between us, water dripping off her lashes.
"I've cared about someone before, and it cost me.
I don't know how to do this without wondering if I'm walking straight back into something that's gonna hurt me again.
Granted that was years ago and it was my college boyfriend, but… "
"I'm not him." I tilt her chin back up, need her looking at me when I say this next part. "I know that's not something I can just say and have you believe overnight. But I need you to know I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not gonna be the reason you're scared of anything ever again."
"I know you're not him." She reaches up, pressing her palm flat against my chest, right over my heart, which is pounding hard enough she's probably feeling every beat of it.
"That's the thing that scares me more. Because if you were like him, this would be easy.
I'd know to run. But you're not, and I still find myself wanting to run sometimes, just out of habit, because caring about someone this much means there's more to lose if it goes wrong. "
"So don't run." I cover her hand with mine, holding it there against my chest. "Stay.
See where this goes with me. I'm not asking you to promise forever tonight, standing out here soaked to the bone in a thunderstorm.
I'm asking you to just keep choosing this, one day at a time, same as I'm gonna keep choosing you. "
Her eyes fill up, and for a second I think she's about to cry, but instead she laughs, wet and a little broken, shaking her head like she can't quite believe this is happening to her. "This is the least romantic place to have this conversation."
"I don't know, I think the rain adds some ambiance."
"You would." She wipes at her face, though it's useless with the rain still coming down around us. "Okay, I want to stay. I care about you, Darren, and I care about Nicole. More than I expected to this fast, and it terrifies me, but I don't want to run from it either."
"Yeah?" Something in my chest loosens, relief flooding through me faster than the rain's soaking through my shirt.
"Yeah." She nods, more sure this time. "I'm scared, but I'm willing. I want to see where this goes, with you, if you're ready for that too."
"I'm ready." I don't hesitate on that answer, not even for a second. "I've been ready since you grabbed my hand outside the bar that first night and told me you weren't done dancing yet."
"I remember that." Her smile turns soft, rain still dripping off her chin. "You looked terrified."
"I was terrified. Still kind of am, if I'm honest. But the good kind.
" I lean down, resting my forehead against hers, both of us drenched, thunder rolling somewhere off in the distance.
"The kind where you know exactly what you're risking, and you decide it's worth it regardless of how it’s going to end up. "
"Worth it," she repeats, like she's testing the words out for herself.
"Worth it," I confirm, and then I kiss her again, slower this time, no rush behind it, just the knowledge that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be standing tonight, rain and all.
She kisses me back just as slow, hands sliding up into my wet hair, my hat long forgotten somewhere on the ground between us.
When we finally break apart, she's breathless, laughing again, water running down both our faces like it's trying to wash away every ounce of doubt either of us walked out here carrying.
"We should probably go inside before we actually do get sick," she says, though she doesn't move to leave.
"Probably." I don't move either, keeping my arms wrapped around her waist, rain soaking straight through what's left of my dry clothes.
"Darren."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For saying all that. For meaning it."
"Always gonna mean it, Mace." I press one more kiss to her forehead, then finally step back, taking her hand in mine. "C'mon. Let's get you inside before you catch a cold and blame me for it."
"Oh, I'm absolutely blaming you regardless." She laces her fingers through mine as we head back toward the porch, both of us soaked straight through, leaving wet footprints across the wood as we climb the steps. "You're the one who insisted on dancing in a thunderstorm."
"Best decision I made all night."
She glances back at me, water still dripping from her hair, cheeks flushed from the weather and everything we just said to each other. "Mine too."
I pull her back against me one more time before we head inside, wrapping my arms around her from behind, chin resting on top of her head while the rain keeps falling around the both of us.
Whatever happens with Gerald, whatever the investigation turns up, I know exactly what I want waiting for me on the other side of it, and for the first time in longer than I can remember, that certainty doesn't scare me at all.