Chapter 11 #2
“You’ve only just noticed, then? Ah, well, she’s a beauty.
And fack me, but you’ve still the hardest fists in the clan.
” Tasgall gingerly probed his ribs. “I reckon you came close to breaking my bones tonight. So, ’tis enough to settle, or shall we brawl anew?
Whatever you break shall heal in a few hours. ”
“I should hammer you into the floor, you pompous interfering eejit.” Darro dragged a hand through his hair to keep from doing just that. “Why taunt me so viciously? I’ve done naught but serve you well this night, the day before, and every other moment we’ve spent in this cursed prison.”
“I cannae stand by and watch you suffer in silence. I ken,” the laird said before he replied, holding up his hand.
“You’ve done so often since becoming trapped here.
Ever and always I’ve valued your service to me, particularly in these most trying of times.
You’ve saved me much grief by taking on without complaint so much of the work I’ve handed you.
Likely you’ve wanted to beat me bloody so often you’ve lost count.
Yet never once did I see you waver and question yourself as you do with Esme Martinez. Why this female? Why now?”
Darro didn’t want to tell the laird about the spell that had plagued him, for he knew now it was gone.
All that was left was his very real fear of falling in love with a woman who would change his life and then someday leave him.
Yet Tasgall was the one man he trusted above all others, and had served in Keran’s place as a parent since their sire’s death.
“She desires me as her lover. She told me thus, as if we’d share a meal instead of a bed.
” Talking about such a matter so openly made him cringe.
“You’ve seen her. She’s but a wisp of a thing, and I’m an ox.
I want her, aye, so badly I cannae sleep.
Only the prospect of how I might harm her and some eejit half-broken fear spell stayed my hand—but no more.
She fights as wildly as she wants. After tonight, I cannae hold back any longer.
I’d go and make her my lover this moment. Yet first I came to you, as ever I do.”
“You’re fighting yourself over a lass who likes you, and wants you.” Tasgall shook his head. “I’m but the excuse you give yourself. You’ve barricaded yourself behind your position when it matters no’ to you or me. You’ve my blessing, if you need such.” He made a dismissive gesture. “Go to her.”
Darro stared at him, holding his jaw closed so he didn’t gawk at his brother like a beardless lad. “You’d ask me shirk my duties for a woman. A woman who shallnae stay with us if she may escape. A woman I’ve no claim to.”
“I disagree. I reckon Lady Esme, she’s the only lady you’ve ever wished to love with all your heart,” the laird corrected.
“Darro, you’ve danced attendance on me since our boyhood.
You’ve served me more faithfully and fully than any member of this clan.
For tonight, I release you.” When he started to argue Tasgall lifted a hand.
“Enough bickering. On the morrow we shall speak again of your duties, and how you may share them with the other chieftains so you’ve time for your lady. ’Tis natural and right, Brother.”
“You would do such for me.” He wondered if the laird were jesting, and if he might punch him again if he was.
His brother pointed to the door. “Go to her now. ’Tis your only duty tonight.” When he hesitated, he added, “I’m not asking, Chieftain.”
“Why didnae I thrash you unconscious?” As the laird chuckled Darro strode out, the weight gone from him, his thoughts filled with only the fire he no longer had to resist.
Ava met Esme as she came into the stronghold, and looked at her as if she had suddenly turned into a lunatic.
“You don’t need to fight alongside the men every time there’s an attack, you know,” she said mildly. “Are you all right?”
“No.” She wanted to grab the other woman and shake her until her teeth rattled, but that would solve nothing.
All she could do was keep from exploding.
“The men killed all the attackers again, and their bodies disappeared again. Some of the watchers on the outer wall were killed and they vanished, too. Did you even know what was happening out there, or were you too busy hiding the girls?”
“Too busy hiding and defending the girls,” the laird’s wife said, and touched the hilt of the short sword she had strapped to her belt.
“My husband put me in charge of that to free up the guards. I’m the only one with enough training to protect them if any of the attackers get through and find us. Are you injured?”
“I’m not hurt. I’m just mad. This place makes me mad all the time, you know?” She needed to calm down, she knew, but after what she’d seen the men go through that seemed impossible. “Why do you protect the women but let the clan fight those things alone?”
Ava winced. “I never want to turn my back on the men, but the ladies here aren’t trained for battle. We do ask them to help inside the stronghold.”
“You’re trained.” She eyed one of the maids who was hovering a short distance away.
“Do you want to come over here so you can hear better, nosy?” As the maid turned and hurried away she rubbed her tired eyes.
“Look, this can’t go on. My boy cousins taught me to stand up to bullies and fight smart when I was in kindergarten.
We need to teach the rest of the women to fight, not hide.
The more of us there are out there, the less chance any of those things kill any of our people. ”
“Okay, let’s talk about it with Olivia and Grace in the morning. For tonight, why don’t you go and relax?” The laird’s wife smiled at Esme’s surprised look. “I’m not unreasonable, you know. I’m just trying to keep everyone safe, as best I can.”
“Safe is not better. Fighting, that’s better.” She stalked off.
As soon as Esme got to her room she found Elspeth pouring steaming hot water into a wooden tub.
The chambermaid nearly dropped her bucket when she saw her, which made her realize for the first time how filthy she’d gotten during the attack.
Dirt, soot and oil streaked her gown, and she had lost one of her shoes.
Staring at her filthy toes bemused her, because she hadn’t noticed she was barefoot at all.
No wonder Ava had looked at her like she had lost her mind.
“It’s okay,” she told the chambermaid. “I’m not injured, just dirty. I was out helping the guys during the attack.”
“By the Gods, my lady.” Elspeth came to inspect her from all sides before she untied her laces. “When ’tis so bad, you should come inside the castle to hide with the rest of us. Truly.”
All these women believed they were powerless, Esme thought. Yet some of the worst fights she’d ever seen in the neighborhood had been between two girls. Ava’s advice to relax for the night echoed in her head, and she forced back her anger.
“I’m not afraid of fighting.” She leaned over to look at the flower petals floating on the tub water. “Thanks for bringing the bath. I really need one.”
The chambermaid sighed. “At least you’ve no injuries. Shall I help you bathe, my lady?”
She thought of how Darro had looked at her right before he’d gone.
Why hadn’t he come to her yet? Maybe he was having second thoughts.
Maybe the spell of fear over him still held him in its grip.
Maybe she’d have to break that rule about girls going alone to the garrison hall.
God help anyone who got in her way if she did.
“I’d like to wash myself, if you don’t mind,” she finally said. “Thanks, manita.”
As soon as the chambermaid left, Esme stripped and sank into the tub.
When the wet heat engulfed her she sighed with relief and appreciation.
Every part of her ached, but not from exhaustion.
Her lips still throbbed from the kiss that Darro had given her.
She reached over the side to grab the bar of soap Elspeth had set on the little table beside the linen towel, and watched it slip through her wet fingers, which were shaking.
Why was she scared now? The battle was over, finished.
Not every battle.
She leaned over to pick up the soap and went to work.
As she scrubbed she imagined Darro doing the same thing in the garrison hall.
Was he thinking about her, and their kiss?
Did his mouth throb, and did he have the same ache in his chest?
Had she convinced him that she wouldn’t break in two if he touched her?
What if her kiss hadn’t broken that fear spell, and kept him from coming to her tonight?
“Then I’ll go find him,” Esme promised herself before she ducked her head under the water. It couldn’t be that hard to get past those guards.
The process of bathing and washing her hair took another half-hour, and then once she’d dried off and put on a shift, she had to deal with the tub, which took several trips with buckets to the privy. If she did anything while she was here, she thought, she should update the clan’s indoor plumbing.
What if they’re right, and I can never leave again?
Esme always faced reality, no matter how uncomfortable it made her.
While her girl cousins were trying to fit in by dyeing their dark hair blonde and breaking out in rashes from skin-whitening treatments, she had proudly remained a brown-skinned black-haired Chicana.
She had fought long and hard for her career and the future she envisioned for herself.
Wanting to escape the spell trap wasn’t just about going back to her job, it was the path she’d chosen to follow long ago.
She had a passion for her work that nothing else had ever diminished or replaced.
Journalism wasn’t just a job; it was her calling.