Chapter Twenty-Five Laney
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
LANEY
Well, this is weird.”
My mom’s head snapped toward me, along with my dad’s and Matt’s.
Matt was in the room with me… why?
“Did I travel back in time? Am I in high school?”
“Now is not the time for jokes, missy.” My mom squeezed my forearm before resting her head on the spot next to my stomach. “You scared us.”
My dad’s face was tight with worry. Despite wearing bright green Christmas overalls, he glared at me. “You are staying under my roof, and we didn’t even notice how sick you’ve been. Honey, what is going on?”
Flashes of the night came at me fast. Feeling dizzy. Taking photos. Matt. Matt demanding I go to the ER. I moved my attention to him. He stood in the back, hands in his pockets and a grim look on his face.
“Did you drive me here?”
“You passed out against me. We rode in an ambulance, Laney.”
Shame flamed my face. I should’ve listened to my body more. All day, I’d felt weird but pushed through it because it’s what I always did. It had been selfish of me. I couldn’t just think about myself anymore. Immediately, my hands went to my stomach, and I gasped.
“I-I need to talk to the doctor.”
“We can page the nurse, sweetie. Are you in pain? What do you need?”
“I need…” My eyes welled up as panic clawed at me. What if my neglect hurt the baby? Oh my God. Connor.
“Where is my phone?”
“I think it’s in your bag, but Laney, I haven’t told them.” Matt’s face was more serious than I had ever seen it. No smile or quirk of his lips. “I’ll try to find the nurse for you.”
He stepped out but left the door open. Something shuffled outside the room—loud footsteps.
“What is he talking about?” My mom sat up straighter, her gaze narrowing on my face. “Laney, please.”
“I haven’t had a chance… Connor…” I squeezed my eyes shut as guilt and pain and stress swirled into one ball of emotion that closed my throat. I couldn’t breathe or swallow. I had to tell them the truth, even before I could tell my husband. “I’m pregnant.”
Neither of my parents spoke. They stared at me, wide-eyed.
“I’m pregnant. I found out a few days ago. It’s why I’ve been so sick, not able to eat.” I sniffed as tears rolled down my face. “I didn’t know how bad it had gotten.”
“Does Connor know? You could’ve told us. We could’ve helped. Oh, honey.” My mom hugged me tightly. “I have so many emotions, I don’t know how to deal with them.”
“I’m gonna be a grandpa.” My dad clapped his hands and laughed. “Holy shit.”
“Laney.”
I jumped at the deep voice at the door. Connor stood there, lips parted, as I stared at him over my mom’s shoulder.
He looked terrible. He had done a full one-eighty since our FaceTime just hours ago.
His styled hair was disheveled. His tie hung half undone, his shirt untucked.
His jacket wasn’t buttoned. He looked so messy and distraught that my heart broke for him.
His mouth parted as he ran a hand over his face.
Then he neared me and kneeled on the floor.
Even on his knees, his height matched me in the bed, and he rested his forehead on my stomach.
“You’re okay. You’re okay.”
“I’m okay, yeah.” My eyes prickled, and I ran a hand through his hair, digging my fingers into his scalp as his shoulders shuddered. “How are you here?”
“We’re gonna step outside to grab a coffee, okay, honey? You two should talk.” My mom patted my shoulder and then squeezed Connor’s before leaving and shutting the door.
Once the handle clicked, absolute silence greeted us, and it suffocated me. I had kept the pregnancy from him. He would hate me. This wasn’t what I had planned.
“Connor… I—”
“I’m so fucking sorry.” He spoke into my abdomen, his voice muffled over the hospital sheet. His shoulders shook, and he gripped my hand in his and squeezed it hard.
My own tears spilled over at the devastation in his voice.
“Connor, I’m sorry.”
He stilled and lifted his face enough to meet my gaze. His eyes were red, and he licked his lips twice before shaking his head.
“You have nothing to be sorry about except not taking care of yourself. I wish you would’ve told me you weren’t feeling well.”
“What would that have done?”
“I would’ve known! I could’ve stayed here, helped you.”
I smiled, but he didn’t match it.
“I’ve been sick before. I’m a grown adult, and yeah, I could’ve told my parents or stayed home, but I loved the festival. I didn’t want you to worry about me or stress about it when you had to focus.” I swallowed, broaching the topic that had me twisted up. “Did you hear—”
“I fucking hate that you’re putting my job first.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “We agreed on honesty. I’m upset you kept this from me.”
“I was gonna tell you tomorrow.” I sniffed as I placed my hands over my stomach. “I really didn’t want you distracted, and yet here you are. Is the meeting over? How did it go?”
Knock, knock.
“How is our sweetest patient this evening?” Kelly, a cheery nurse, walked in with a smile. “Oh, hello. Now, is this your husband?”
“Yes,” I said proudly.
“Good for you. Two attractive men in one night.”
Connor stiffened and flexed his jaw, and my stomach dropped.
“I need to check your vitals, okay, hon? Do you mind moving over there for a few minutes, handsome?”
Connor nodded and awkwardly released my hand to sit in the chair my parents had been in ten minutes ago. While Kelly took my temperature and checked the machines, I stared at my husband.
His gaze never left mine, and he kept swirling his wedding ring around his finger over and over, like he was thinking hard about something. I couldn’t be certain whether he knew about me being pregnant. But I knew I had to tell him now.
“All looks good. Now that your vitals are settled, do you want to try eating anything?”
“Yeah,” I croaked out. “That’d be good.”
“They have you staying overnight for monitoring, and then we’ll get an ultrasound in here as well, to ensure the fetal heartbeat.” She smiled at me and then Connor. “Someone will be back in a few hours. Our vending machines are down the hall, and I know we have saltines in there.”
“Perfect,” I said, my pulse skyrocketing. Connor wasn’t stupid. He had to have heard the fetal heartbeat comment.
Kelly left, once again leaving the two of us alone, and I was nervous to look at Connor. How could I have thought it was a good idea not to tell him? I played with the bedsheet, my head spinning with indecision. What could I say? How do you speak when you’re clouded in guilt?
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” I faced the wall near the bathroom. My voice was all watery and weak. “I had a plan—”
“We’re having a baby,” Connor said, his voice just above a whisper. There wasn’t heat or anger in his tone. Just… wonder.
I snuck a glance at him, and my breath caught in my throat. He was smiling.
“We’re having a baby, Laney.” He barked out a laugh and put a hand over his chest, his eyes lighting up in a way I hadn’t seen before. Then his face shifted into a frown. “Wait, you… you want to be a mom, right? You want this… with me? If you don’t… I’ll—I—What do you want?”
Goddamn, I loved this man. This confident, badass leader who strutted into rooms was falling apart over me and our potential family.
“Yes. I want it all, but—” I held up a hand, and he nodded, waiting for me. “We still have so many things to talk about.”
He swallowed, his throat bobbing with the movement, and he jumped off the chair. “I need you closer to me. I can barely breathe right now.”
I snorted as he gently wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. He smelled like home, and the embrace put all my stress at ease. Running my hands over his shoulders, I massaged a knot as the hug continued without talking.
I had questions. Lots of them. I’m sure he did too. But right now, this was enough. Us safe and together.
“You need to eat.” He broke the hug and kissed my forehead, lingering before he smiled down at me. “Saltines and Sprite?”
“My favorites.”
“I’ll get you some and be right back. Are your parents still here?”
“I actually don’t know.” I shrugged and reached out to grip his hand. “I’m so glad you’re here, Connor.”
His answering smile melted my heart.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather fucking be.” He kissed the back of my hand, handed me my bag with my phone, and went to the door, stopping and staring at me with an unfocused look.
“If you thought I was overbearing or protective before, you have no idea what I’m gonna be like now that you’re carrying our child.”
“Oh.”
Heat stung my face before he winked and said he’d be right back.
I nodded, and he left. Exhaustion plagued me, but I knew I had to eat a little before they’d release me tomorrow. My phone had ten missed calls from Connor, frantic texts from him as well.
Connor: PLEASE tell me you’re okay.
Connor: LANEY. Fuck! I’m so sorry. I’m on my way.
Connor: I love you so fucking much, please be okay.
Connor: I hate that Matt is with you.
My stomach tightened. Yeah, having Matt take me here wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t like I chose to pass out on him. I went to his contact information and quickly sent him a thank-you-for-everything text.
He responded with anytime.
Then I texted my mom and dad in our group chat.
Laney: Connor is gonna stay with me through the night. You are dismissed from your duty. Clock out.
Mom: Your dad has already ordered ten baby outfits. He’s out of control.
Dad: Why are you ratting me out?
Mom: So she can talk sense into you!
Laney: Okay, I’m silencing my phone. I’ll text you when I leave tomorrow.
Mom: Love you!!!
Dad: If it’s a boy, you’re naming him after me, right?
Chuckling, I tossed my phone back in my bag and relaxed into the hospital bed. It was more comfortable than I thought, and I yawned just as Connor walked in with a soda and a sleeve of crackers.
“Thank you.” I reached for them, and he pulled the chair closer so he could touch me while I ate. His face seemed different from when he had walked in the door, and I leaned over, running my hand over his jaw.
“I want to explain some things to you.”
“Not until you eat.” He opened the package and handed me a cracker, one eyebrow arched like he was prepping for an argument. “Don’t test me.”
“Yes, sir.” I chewed the cracker and chased it down with the soda.
“Delicious.”
“I know you’re not kidding either.” He chuckled and ran a hand down my leg, squeezing it under the sheet. “Only you would claim this as your top-five favorite snacks.”
“It’s my truth.” I ate another and sighed at being able to swallow without the urge to throw up. “All those days I was dizzy or throwing up? It was the pregnancy.”
He nodded. “I looked up all the common symptoms while I got the food. We can battle them and make sure you’re comfortable.”
“You’re being so patient about this, Connor.
” My eyes prickled as I swallowed a bite.
I couldn’t eat anymore until I said my piece.
“I found out a few days ago and chose not to tell you. I’m sorry.
I-I feel terrible keeping that from you.
When that felt weak, I realized the truth.
I was so worried that you’d change behavior, change everything for the baby when I needed you to make changes for me.
I wanted you to pick me. I needed to feel that from you, and I have.
I have in so many ways.” A tear fell, and he frowned, swiping it away.
“I’m so sorry I kept it from you. I shouldn’t have.” I hiccuped. “I had a plan to tell you tomorrow. I bought a little onesie, and I was gonna surprise you.”
He smiled, and his gaze melted. “I’m not upset with you. Not at all.”
“But why?” I sniffed as another wave of tears fell. “I made this choice to hide it from you, and I feel so selfish.”
“You’re not selfish.” He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against mine, the softness of the kiss almost breaking me. “We’re working on us, and it had to be a shock to find out. I wish I had been with you, but I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”
A ball of emotion formed in my throat, and I closed my eyes as more tears fell. He pulled me into a hug and rubbed my head in soft circles.
“Sleep, baby. I need you to rest. We can talk tomorrow. I’ll be here when you wake up, okay?” he said, either ten minutes or two hours later. I wasn’t sure.
I was exhausted, and the comfort of Connor’s presence had lulled me into sleep fast. With a smile on my face and the first sense of real calm, I slept.