Chapter 39
I couldn’t even look at Amelia after throwing her accidentally into the window. I took off after our guy, making sure to remain at a good distance. But after going through a Taco Bell drive-thru, he went right back home.
What kind of drug dealer eats Taco Bell at ten p.m.?
This stakeout was unnecessary. I just wanted to be with Amelia. I wanted to watch her get excited as she discovered something new. I wanted to let her live out her detective dreams for a minute. But all I did was ruin stakeouts for the rest of my life. They’ll never be the same without Amelia tapping her fingers on the middle console and twitching like she’s about to explode because I lied and said we couldn’t talk. They’ll never be the same without her.
Tomorrow I’ll go back with Cruz to question him.
“I still can’t believe you didn’t get me a chalupa,” Amelia says for the third time. “I know I”m small, but I can eat, and you didn’t even ask me if I wanted anything. You just drove on past.” She’s been grumpy ever since Taco Bell.
“Didn’t you eat half a dozen donuts in your hotel room?” I ask, shifting to get comfortable in my seat.
“That was five hours ago!” she yells. “Five. I can’t go that long without food. My blood sugar will drop and then bam! Out like Paul Blart on the way to save the day.”
I look over at her. “I didn’t know you were hypoglycemic?” My words falter when I register the goose egg on the corner of her forehead.
“I’m not…but what if I was?” She folds her arms in an adorable pout.
“I’m sorry,” I say, mostly for the goose egg. She’s going to have a good story there.
Not like she didn”t have one already with the dead body in her bathtub and being questioned for murder.
“Thank you. Now please find me sustenance before I start shaking.”
“I’ll do you one better.” I reach into the glove box and pull out a granola bar. “Here.”
She turns to stare at me straight on and I’m assaulted by my mistake. Why did I pull away so fast? She could have gotten a concussion.
She thinks she does stupid things? I’m sitting on the throne of the stupid kingdom. Kissing a woman I know I can’t be with, even though I want to. Taking a civilian on a pointless stakeout and risking her safety with my reckless driving? King of Stupidity.
“A granola bar.” She stares at me, deadpan. “I’ve never been so insulted in my life.”
“Why? What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s bird food.” She snatches it out of my hand and looks at the label. “There’s only eight grams of sugar in this thing.”
There’s that much? I thought I grabbed the healthy kind. “I’m sure it will work.”
She tosses the granola bar back at me. “No. Take me for real food now. I quit your stupid stakeout.”
That’s probably for the best. This guy isn”t going to lead us to Liam.
“What do you want?” I start up the car and pull onto the road at a much slower pace than last time.
“A cheese pizza and a hamburger, please. And a shake.”
I look over at her. “For real?”
Her eyes widen like she can’t believe I asked that. “Yes, for real. And step on it. I’m getting jittery.”
“Okay.”
I’ve discovered the cutest thing in the world. And no, it’s not babies or tiny puppies.
It’s Amelia.
I was hoping after the hamburger she’d forget about wanting pizza. She did not. She’d already placed an order for a little place downtown I’d never heard of. She bounced in the passenger seat the whole way there, and when I got the pizza she dove right in. Each bite she took was accompanied by a little movement of her body, and after she finished one whole piece I realized she was dancing. Moving her body to a sound that only lived in her head and smiling with each pleasurable bite.
She was, as I said, adorable.
Now she’s asleep in the passenger side of my vehicle and I’ve been sitting in the parking garage for the last ten minutes watching her like a creep. Her knees are pulled into her chest, her arms and head resting on top. Her blonde hair falls over her face, hiding everything but her lips, which are pink and soft. There’s even a drop of drool on the sleeve of my hoodie.
She’s perfect.
I rest my head on the seat. Protecting her was supposed to be my job. But my feelings for her are far from professional. She’s become a liability to me. A danger. In so many ways.
I sit up and push open the door. I walk around to her side and open the door quietly. Then gently ease her into my arms.
“Caleb?” Her sleepy eyes flutter open. “Are you carrying me to my room like a real-life prince?”
“Unless you’d prefer to walk?”
She leans her head into my chest. “No, I’m happy here.”
Me too. She’s back asleep before we make it out of the parking garage. I take the stairs to her room to avoid waking her up with the lights and sounds. She’s so tiny in my arms it feels easy. Like this is what I was always meant to do. Hold her. Care for her.
There’s enough light filtering through the windows of her room I can make out the small space in between clothes that has been hollowed out for her body.
I wonder if she usually sleeps with her dogs and if she misses them.
I situate her on the bed, then tuck the blankets around her. She sighs into the pillows and before I can stop myself, I press a kiss to her forehead.
“Goodnight, Amelia.”
She mumbles something in her sleep, then curls into the blankets.
I do a quick sweep of her room, then force myself out the door and back to my own room. But two hours later I still can’t sleep.
I can’t get her off my mind. I don’t know how. And kissing her today made those thoughts outrageously more inevitable.
It’s nearly one in the morning and I haven’t slept a wink. Amelia’s room has been quiet for two hours.
Rolling to my side, I work on slowing my breathing. I’ll sleep for two hours. Check on her. Then two more.
“Ahhh!”
I jump out of my bed, my pulse pounding. The scream comes again and now I’m positive it’s coming from Amelia’s room. I grab the spare key and sprint into the hall as she shrieks again.
“Don’t kill me!” Amelia screams.
“Amelia!”
The door blinks red instead of green and I shove the key across again. Come on.
The door clicks and I kick it open, sprinting into the pitch-black room. Where is she?
There’s movement on the bed and I rush forward. I grab the two arms I see and pull her against me.
“What’s wrong? Where is he?”
Amelia goes still in my arms.
“Caleb?” she whispers.
“Where’d he go?”
“Who?”
“You said someone was trying to kill you.” My voice is high and panicked.
“Oh.” Her body goes limp and I wrap her up tighter. “I think I was having a nightmare. I keep getting them ever since the, uh…well, you know.”
I sink down beside her, my body caving with relief. She’s safe. Except in her dreams apparently.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says, but her usually confident voice is weak. Of course, she’d have nightmares. I should have warned her. I should have talked her through the shock and described what to expect. But I was too worried about getting too close and risking my heart in the process that I pushed her away, leaving her to deal with it on her own.
I completely let her down.
I flick on the bedside lamp and study her to make sure she’s unharmed. Except for the bruising on her forehead, nothing is out of place. But my heart still isn’t content. I run my fingers down her arms, up her shoulders, and neck, my anxiety lessening with every inch of skin I touch. My fingers linger on the pulse point in her wrists, feeling her heartbeat.
When I’m content with the steady pace, I let out a long breath.
She bites her bottom lip until the skin there turns white. “Could you maybe stay here? Just for a little bit. I feel safer with you here. I haven’t gotten much sleep lately.”
I swallow. That’s my job, right? To protect her, even if it’s from her fears.
But what about the part of me that longs to protect her, and only her, forever?
“Of course.” I stand up prepared to take the chair for the night, but Amelia grabs my hand.
“You can sleep on this side of the bed. It’s fine.”
I swallow. Sure. That’s not a big deal. No big deal at all.
She scoots over, knocking items to the floor as she does, and I slide into the spot she warmed up for me. The spot that smells like her. I’m not getting any sleep tonight.
“Do you want the lamp on?” I ask. Why did my voice come out so hoarse?
She shakes her head and leans over me to turn it off. The room plunges into darkness and instead of retreating to her side of the bed she lays her head on my bare chest.
I forgot I’m not wearing a shirt. This makes her closeness infinitely worse.
I go stiff, waiting for her to move but she doesn’t. Her breath comes in steady waves.
Is she asleep already? Should I leave?
I don’t want to.
But what I want and what she needs are two different things. She needs someone to protect her, not fall for her.
Why can’t I do both?
For tonight, I’ll pretend this doesn’t completely cross the line of my responsibilities and hold her. Then tomorrow I’ll wake up, dust off all the feelings, and be the ruthless agent I trained to be.
Tomorrow. I can do all things tomorrow.
I adjust my arm beneath her head, moving my hand to rest on her hip. Because it’s more comfortable and not because I want more excuses to touch her. Her skin is warm against mine. I’m relaxed and stressed at the same time.
Amelia stirs, her hair tickling my chest. “Hey Caleb,” she says sleepily.
“Hmm?”
“I knew you were next door.”
My body grows ten degrees hotter.
How much more does she know about me? Does she know I’ve completely fallen for her?