12
After seeing Atticus, I walked home, stopping by a supermarket to buy some groceries. I had just arrived home and started loading everything into the fridge when my phone rang.
I expected it to be my parents — they called a few times a week to make sure I wasn’t dead and, more importantly, that I was studying — but it wasn’t them. It was Leo.
“Hello?” I answered cautiously.
“Hi,” Leo replied. “So, uh. Whatcha doing at the moment?”
I looked at my open fridge, where I was stuffing the vegetable crisper with Granny Smith apples. “Not much, I’m just at home.”
“Can I come over?”
“What, now?”
“…Yeah? If that’s okay?” His voice went quiet. “I want to talk to you.”
“Okay. Sure.” I was glad I sounded nonchalant.
“I’ll head to yours now,” Leo said.
He rang off, and I stared at my overflowing fridge. If he was coming from his place, it’d take him fifteen minutes to arrive. It’d take him a similar amount of time if he was coming from uni.
Fifteen minutes. I shoved the rest of my groceries into the fridge, pushed ramen packets and jars of pasta sauce into the pantry cupboard and ran into the bathroom to check my appearance in the mirror above the sink. Yesterday, Rome said I looked like shit, and I hadn’t improved much since. I wore a sweatshirt; my hair was messy and my skin looked pasty. Should I brush my teeth again? But why? It’s not like I expected kissing —
The intercom rang, and I froze. It’d been only five minutes since he called.
I pressed the button to let him up. I had enough time to comb my hair with my fingers and apply some deodorant when there was a knock on my door. I opened it, and Leo stood there, his hair wind-touselled and his cheeks pink.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi,” Leo said, holding out a bundle of fabric. It took me a moment to realise they were the clothes he’d borrowed to use as pyjamas last time. “I washed them,” he said.
I took them and stepped back. “Come in.”
Once Leo was in my apartment, the door closed behind him. I busied myself by putting the clothes in my closet and then turning on the kettle. “Do you want something to drink? I still don’t have any coffee, sorry.”
“That’s okay. I’m happy with tea.”
Was he really? The last time I offered, he left without a goodbye.
After filling up the kettle, I turned around to see Leo hovering by the couch, and I shoved my backpack, a spare sock, and a pen out of the way so he could sit down.
“How’d you get here so fast?” I asked as I fished out two clean mugs.
“I was in the area,” he said.
I raised a brow at him.
“Okay, that makes me sound like a total stalker. But I was going for a walk, thinking about things, and I knew I should talk to you and…yeah.”
The kettle boiled, and I made us two cups of tea. I gave Leo the oolong tea, which I thought tasted like grass and wanted to use quickly. For myself, I brewed strawberry and cranberry tea — the nicer tea, in my opinion. If Mum saw me right now, she’d admonish me, but I had an excuse to be petty.
“I wasn’t sure if I’d hear from you again,” I said as I passed him his tea.
He took a sip, probably to delay replying, and promptly burned his tongue. “Ow!”
“It’s hot,” I said unhelpfully. “Do you want an ice cube?”
He nodded, and I grabbed my ice tray from the freezer. He popped out a cube and sucked on it, and I tried not to notice the way it melted in his mouth, water dripping down his lips and making them glisten.
I returned the tray to the freezer, sat back down, and then blew on my tea, creating small ripples in the pink-red liquid.
“I saw you at uni today,” he said abruptly. The ice cube had disappeared, and his lips were raspberry red.
“Where?”
“Professors Lane.”
I couldn’t be surprised. Exactly a week ago, Leo had been there during my first date with Atticus.
“Why didn’t you say hi?” I asked.
“You were with Atticus. I didn’t want to interrupt your date again.” He paused. “You were holding hands.”
“We were squeezing hands,” I said.
“There’s a difference?”
“We’ve decided to be friends.”
That hung in the air.
“But…didn’t you say he looked like a model?”
“Leo. I couldn’t keep dating him when, after our second date, I had sex with another guy.”
He glanced away. “So you ended it because of me?”
“No,” I said. “We weren’t a match anyway. We’ll be better off friends.”
He didn’t say anything for a minute.
“Is that why you wanted to talk?” I asked. “Because you saw us holding hands?”
He looked down at his cup. “Maybe,” he mumbled.
I waited for him to go on.
I’d almost finished my tea when he spoke. “I was jealous,” he admitted. “I thought he was going to become your boyfriend and…”
“You left without saying goodbye,” I said quietly.
“I know. I’m sorry. I panicked.”
“Because you had sex with a guy?”
“Because I had sex,” Leo clarified. “I still can’t believe I’m not a virgin anymore. But…I really liked it, and I don’t regret it.”
“No?”
The relief must’ve been clear on my face because Leo laughed. “You saw me. I was…” his cheeks pinked. “…shameless.”
“You did look like you were enjoying yourself,” I agreed, “but then you left, and you didn’t text me or call —”
“I know,” Leo said. “I’m sorry. I freaked out, but it wasn’t because of you, Winnie.” He placed his cup down on the coffee table. “That was my first time doing anything. I had my first kiss and lost my virginity in one night. That was the first time someone else had seen me naked — apart from my parents when I was a kid — and it was the first time I’d ever…finished…in front of someone. But,” his hand inched across the couch so his pinkie brushed mine, “you were perfect.”
“Leo,” I said helplessly. “You know I want you.”
“Yeah?” His cheeks were still pink.
“Don’t be surprised. I wanted you from the very first night. I went home with you —”
“I know,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut. “I wish I could go back in time and shake myself, because I had you in my bed, but I was too dumb to make a move. Then I had you in my bed a second time, the night you stayed over to help me, and I convinced myself that you just — that I just —” he cut himself off with a frustrated noise. “I don’t know how to do this stuff, so I’m probably doing it all wrong.”
“You’re not doing it wrong at all,” I told him gently. “Apart from the time you ran away, but you’re here now.”
As we’d talked, we’d moved closer together, and now I could see every detail of his eyes. I’d never paid much attention to grey eyes before, but his were the colour of a summer storm, ringed with deep blue like an ocean at night. His lashes were dark brown and surprisingly thick.
“Can you forgive me?” His voice was softer than a whisper.
I lifted my chin in the barest nod. I knew what was coming before it happened. Leo leaned in and kissed my lips, slow and almost…uncertain.
Part of me knew I should resist. There were very good, practical reasons why I shouldn’t kiss him, and they were somewhere deep in the back of my mind. But I couldn’t remember them; they probably weren’t that important anyway.
Two minutes later, we were on my bed. It was still light outside, which meant that the reflective coating outside the window would prevent anyone from looking in, so Leo didn’t ask me to close the blinds. I saw his eyes darken in perfect detail as we kissed and slowly took off our clothes. His toned chest and abdomen contrasted against his surprisingly delicate collarbone and his light pink nipples.
I watched him watch me as I took my shirt off, and he splayed one hand out against the centre of my chest and dragged it down to the hem of my grey jocks, where my arousal was clear.
“Winnie?” Leo murmured against my lips.
I hummed to show I was listening.
“Do you remember when I brought up bottoming?”
I met his eyes. “Yeah?”
“And you said it wasn’t a walk in the park? Well, maybe you could do it between my thighs. I saw it on the internet.”
My cock liked the idea, but I kept my voice steady. “Do you want me to?”
He nodded. “I want to feel you behind me, and maybe you could touch me while you’re doing it.”
I sensed he wanted to look away but was forcing himself to maintain eye contact. Like he wouldn’t allow himself to be embarrassed.
“I want that too,” I said and leaned forward to kiss the skin underneath his ear, then thumbed the hem of his boxer briefs. “Take these off for me,” I murmured.
Leo obeyed, shimmying them down so he was completely naked. He was stiff and pink and already starting to leak. He got so excited so quickly.
“Turn around,” I told him.
He hesitated for a second before getting onto his hands and knees, giving me a perfect view of wide shoulders tapering down to a trim waist. There there was his perfect ass and firm thighs.
I made an approving noise, and the muscles in his back relaxed.
“Do I look okay?” His voice was so quiet I almost didn’t hear him.
“You look gorgeous,” I told him, pressing a kiss against the back of his neck.
He shivered. “I showered. Before.”
“So you had a grand plan to seduce me?” I teased.
“No! No. Just in case.” In a softer tone, he said, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this.”
I needed to make it incredible for him. I leaned over to my bedside table and fished through the contents of its drawer. “Do you want me to wear a condom?” I asked.
“It will be okay, right?”
“I’m clean, but you might not like me making a mess on your thighs.”
He shook his head. “I don’t mind. You don’t have to wear one if you don’t want to.”
“Okay,” I said, ignoring the box of condoms in my drawer and taking out a bottle of lube instead. “I’m going to put lube on myself,” I explained as I covered my length with the slightly cool, translucent stuff. “It’ll get on your thighs. Do you want me to use some when stroking you?”
Leo nodded. “Yes, please.”
“You’re so polite,” I said, squirting a generous amount on my palm, then shuffled closer to him. My knees were on either side of his, my cock brushing against one of his buttocks.
He made a small sound as I leaned forward, resting my chest against his warm back, and reached over to wrap my slick hand around his erection.
He gasped as I touched him, slowly stroking up and down, the movement making a faint wet noise. Even though I couldn’t see his cock, it was rigid and hot in my palm. I rested my chin on Leo’s shoulder so I had a view of his profile, and his eyes were squeezed shut, his skin flushed.
“I’m going to push between your thighs now,” I said. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Leo breathed.
I tilted my hips forward until I slipped between his thighs in one smooth movement. His legs were firm with muscle but still soft, and the more I thrust, the easier it became as the lube spread out against his inner thighs.
I sighed at the sensation, resting my forehead against his back. Then, realising I’d been slacking with my hand, returned my focus to stroking him. He was looking down at my hand around him, and when I played with the tip, rubbing my thumb up and down the slit, he instinctively clenched his thighs.
I groaned. “That’s good,” I murmured. “Make it tight for me.”
Leo squeezed his legs closer. “L-like that?” He sounded breathless.
“That’s perfect,” I said.
I touched him, and I thrust, and beads of sweat gathered across Leo’s skin as his breathing became laboured.
“Can you see it?” I whispered. “My cock appearing and disappearing between your legs?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Describe what you see,” I told him.
“I see the head,” Leo said. “It’s dark red, and there’s pre-cum and every time you push, it rubs up against me, and it feels” — a short breath — “good. I keep staring at it.”
“You’re not looking at my hand instead?” I squeezed slightly.
“No. That feels good, too, but I’m waiting. Waiting to see you cum. I haven’t seen you do it before and want to see it on my skin.”
Holy fuck. I knew he wasn’t trying to titillate me — he was just being honest — but the words made my balls tighten. I increased the pace of my strokes and used the other hand to grip his thigh, steadying myself against him.
“Clench your thighs again,” I told him. “Make them even tighter. Like that. Oh, fuck, that’s good. You’re so good, aren’t you? Always listening —”
At this point, Leo’s ragged breathing turned to whimpers.
“That’s right,” I murmured, “fuck, you’re good, Leo, so good —”
Leo’s cry was the only warning I had before he came, erection hot and pulsing in my hand. I stroked him through it, thrusting hard and fast between his legs until I came too, my vision going white as waves of pleasure washed over me.
How long had it been since I’d climaxed with someone? I thought distantly. I hadn’t with Leo the only other two times we’d had sex, and I hadn’t slept with anyone else since I made a vow to myself to find a proper boyfriend. Sure, I’d jerked off, but I’d forgotten how powerful it was to come with another person’s warm body against you, to hear their moans of ecstasy.
Eventually, I peeled myself off Leo’s back, my thoroughly wrung-out cock slipping out from between his legs. Leo slumped forward, catching himself on the headboard, and slowly turned around. His eyes were glassy as if he was still deep in the pleasure of the orgasm, but then he focused on me and offered a tiny, shy smile.
I smiled back. Then I looked at his thighs.
He followed my gaze. “I should probably shower.”
“I’ll get you a towel,” I said, hurrying off the bed.
Once he was in the bathroom, I slumped against the wall.
God, my entire body felt boneless. But despite the fact I didn’t have a single ounce of arousal left in me, I couldn’t help but appreciate the memory of Leo’s back, his ass, the noises he made, and the way he obediently clenched his thighs —
It was unfair how alluring he was. Dangerous, too.
What if he disappeared again? I tried not to let the worry show on my face as I stepped into the shower after he was finished, letting the hot stream of water wash the remnants of sex off my skin. What if, when I finished, he’d left? It would hurt even more than last time.
After I finished showering and dried and wrapped myself in a towel, I held my breath as I reached for the bathroom door handle.
And sighed in relief. Leo was still in my studio, changed back into his clothes, sitting on the couch.