Chapter Thirty-Eight
THEBES, EGYPT
With great effort, I slow my pace as I descend from the platform and step into the cool, dark interior of the temple. I want to race down the hallowed corridors and whoop with delight and relief. Today, I’ve taken the first public step toward becoming pharaoh.
But I do not leap and run or squeal. I maintain the deportment of the Amun-consecrated figure I’ve just announced myself to be.
Suppressing my restless elation, I stand stock-still while Nedjem takes the atef from my head and reverentially places it on its stand.
I move nary a muscle as the other servants unbuckle the shendyt and slide the wig from my head.
Until I am left standing bareheaded, naked of jewels and adornments except for my fine linen shift.
A knock sounds at the door, and for a moment, the servants don’t move. I am meant to be preparing for the great ceremony in which Amun will renew his vows to his people and his earth. It is a sacred space and moment, and the rites require that no one interrupt it.
But I suspect it might be the very person I most want to see.
I nod to Nedjem, who lifts her eyebrows in surprise. As she opens the thick stone door a sliver, I see Senenmut’s distinctive profile. My heart pounds more quickly, and I issue the command. “He may enter.”
The door swings wide, allowing him into this cocoon of a space. “Your Majesty.” He bows toward me with a small smile.
Waving toward the servants, who are flummoxed by this disruption in the routine, I say, “You may leave.”
Only Nedjem hesitates, torn between my order and the directives of tradition. But my instructions win out, and she follows the others. Until Senenmut and I are very much alone.
We face each other, and our gaze meets. I notice how his deep brown eyes shimmer in the low flickering light of the torches, and I wonder if mine do the same. I am about to take a step toward him, when, breaking from his usual practice, he speaks first. “You were magnificent today.”
“Really?” I ask, needing to hear his praise again. Not because I’m unsure how the common folks or the aristocrats perceived me, but because I want to hear how he regards me. And not as a subject or an adviser.
“Really,” he answers, unwavering in his expression.
Then the corners of his eyes crinkle as another small smile appears on his face.
“Although, I thought we were going to let the people interpret the relief for themselves. You directly shared its meaning with them—something about Amun blessing the atef and the shendyt.” His words are scolding, but his tone is admiring.
“I couldn’t help myself,” I say with a matching smile. “I didn’t think my meaning was coming across.”
He laughs. “You did it beautifully, even though you deviated from our plan.”
“No one rioted at my pronouncement,” I venture.
“Not a single soul even raised an eyebrow at the thought that Amun ordered you to dress like a pharaoh,” he says, his smile bright and even.
I finally take that step closer to him. “You are the magnificent one,” I whisper.
He looks away from me. He doesn’t speak, even as I draw nearer to him. Finally, when we are almost chest to chest, he says, “Hatshepsut, you are already the true pharaoh. I am simply helping your people realize the truth.”
I glance up into his dark eyes, placing my hand upon his muscled arm.
“One by one, you are helping me strip away the barriers to assuming power. I feel freer and mightier than ever before. But it seems that one barrier remains, one I must remove by myself. And that’s the one standing between you and me. ”
I do not wait for permission. I wrap my arms around him, and then standing on my bare toes, I lift my face toward his. For a long, charged moment, we stare into each other’s eyes, breathing hard. And then I kiss him.