8. Zoe
Zoe
Designation Hierarchy and Responsibilities has to be the worst class I’ve ever taken.
Three times a week, I have to sit here and listen to Professor Hayes drone on and on about the importance of Alphas to our society and how it’s our duty as Betas to make sure things run smoothly so they can handle "the difficult work. "
He made everyone shuffle where we're sitting, encouraging the Alphas to place themselves in groups with the Betas, and I’m on edge the entire time one gets close to me.
What if Dominic was right that day in the woods? What if I am an Omega and everyone can smell me? I haven't worried this much about what I smell like since puberty.
Betas can, for the most part, identify someone's designation, but they can't smell pheromones. I feel lucky that I don't have to smell a bunch of people all the time. That sounds horrendous. How do they not have constant headaches?
Ray sits on the other side of Viv, his back rigid and eyes straight ahead. He doesn’t look at me once.
I have no idea what his problem with me is, but I hope it doesn’t affect my friendship with Viv. I’m not exactly drowning in options for friends here, and Viv seems to like being around Warren and me.
“How many times do you think Hayes is going to call something our duty?” Viv is leaning in close, speaking out of the side of her mouth.
“At least three more times before class is up.”
“Ambitious. There are only ten minutes left in class.” She closes her notebook, like she’s given up for the day.
Warren is on my right, but he’s not paying attention to our conversation. He’s trying to make eyes with some of the Alphas around the room, probably angling to get an introduction to an upperclass Alpha.
By the time class is up and Hayes says the word duty five more times, Warren hadn’t managed to snag anyone’s attention.
“Hey, Ray,” he calls to the Alpha’s retreating back. “Have you met any of the upperclassmen yet? I was hoping to get an introduction to someone to be our Aide for Menagerie.”
Viv’s brother steps off to the side, and the three of us move with him. He specifically angles himself away from me.
Why does he dislike me like me so much? We've said no more than four words to one another.
He runs his fingers through his thick, dark hair. “Not really. And I wouldn’t recommend seeking one out. You don’t want to be seen as a knot or lock chaser.”
My nose wrinkles. “Knot chaser?”
This time, he looks at me, but it’s fleeting, only long enough for me to see him roll his eyes.
“Yeah, there are some Betas who will do anything to get with an Alpha, including wearing perfumes that are meant to mimic an Omega’s pheromones.
We can always tell, and it's pathetic, really.
Desperate." His attention flits back to me before he addresses Warren. "Just take whatever Aide they assign to you. I doubt it’s that big of a deal.”
He turns and stalks out of the room.
Ray does not like me. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t matter. I would never say anything to Viv or ask why. I don't want it to push her away if she hasn't realized yet that he dislikes me.
I do wish I knew why, though.
The library is massive. It takes up the entire second floor of the Hub, with stacks of books stretching to the ceiling and crowded rows.
It’s quiet here, and not in the way libraries usually are. It’s empty. There are tables for studying clustered in the middle of the entry space, but no one sits at them, and I don’t see people perusing the stacks.
Cliff wasn't joking when he said you could easily forget you're not alone here.
Friday evenings aren’t exactly prime time for studying, but I have a lot to catch up on. I skated through university, and I can already tell it’s going to bite me in the ass. People are asking questions in classes that I don’t even think to consider.
There is a strong likelihood that I will need a tutor to get me up to speed.
My Menagerie study group met for the first time yesterday, and I was shocked by how much they know about the Gods.
I never took any classes on them except for the basic introductory ones, and my family wasn’t particularly devout, so I’m starting from scratch.
Everyone else, even Warren, has studied or worshipped these Gods for years.
The only class that I don’t feel out of place in is calculus. Math makes sense. Numbers follow rules, and it never changes. My other courses, the ones that focus on or emphasize our designations, make me uncomfortable.
Maybe I’d feel differently if I didn’t have this Omega-shaped axe hanging over my head.
I need to forget it.
I need to move on from that stress-induced auditory hallucination.
Scanning the directory points me to the aisle I’m looking for. I almost sought out Cliff, but I don’t need him to know I need books that teenagers use to study for tests in secondary school.
I load my arms up with books, one on each God and their history, and find a quiet corner in the back. I do not want to be sitting alone on display in the middle of the room.
Earnings of Earth
Sensibilities of the Sea
Wonders of the Wind
Fate of the Fire
All four books, with their childlike, alliterative titles, delve into the benefits of being Blessed by each of the Gods and detail their involvement with Kestia.
Except, of course, for the book on Ilota, the Goddess of Fire.
That one explores theories on what happened to the Goddess to result in her withholding her Blessing.
It’s where I start.
It has been so long since someone was Blessed by Fire that there are no records of what beast forms the Blessed would take.
She must have Blessed someone at some point.
Otherwise, why would anyone write about her?
There are vague mentions of people's ancestors being Blessed, but for all intents and purposes, her Blessing has been withheld since before records were kept.
What would her beasts even be? There aren't beasts that live in flames. The other Gods bestow beasts that thrive in their domains. What could Ilota give someone?
The book says her garnet is set out at ceremonies in the hope that she will one day return and bestow her Blessing on someone, but it is more of a formality than anything at this point.
After reading through several pages of the book, I’m more convinced than ever that I hallucinated during my ceremony. I didn’t feel anything different when I touched the stone. That voice I heard was just my brain reacting to a stressful situation, whispering my worst fears in my ear.
“Fate of the Fire.” The words startle me in the empty room, and I whip my head up to lock eyes with a stunning, delicate man. “It’s a good one. I've always been fascinated by the disappearance of Ilota and her Blessed.” He gestures to the spot on the floor in front of me. “Can I join you?”
I don’t know what to say to him, so I nod, crossing my legs underneath me to give him more space. Despite how slim he is, his presence takes up a lot of space.
He plucks the book from my hands. “There is so much to be learned by what is not said about our history.
Maybe the reason why we don't know what beast she Blesses with is that they are too powerful, and someone doesn't want the people to know, for what if one were to rise against them?
Power corrupts, and it inspires envy." His eyes flick to my lips, and he leans closer to me. I find myself holding my breath as he rubs his thumb down my cheek. "People get a taste of it, even if it’s someone else’s, and they take and take and take to ensure they're the only ones with power left.” He turns the book over in his hands and looks up at me with startling green eyes.
His hair is a deep shade of brown that makes mine look dull in comparison, and the top is curly, with a piece that doesn't want to obey and falls in his eyes.
His cheekbones are even more dramatic in his thin face.
He's beautiful and strange, captivating in the way music is, making me want to sway with his words. He must be sweating like crazy in the sweater he’s wearing, with its high collar, but maybe he gets cold easily.
“Where are my manners? I’m Cameron.” He holds out a hand, long, slender fingers waiting for mine.
My mouth is dry. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone so attractive. I grab his hand, but it takes me a moment to clear my throat so I can introduce myself. “Zoe. Nice to meet you.”
“Lovely name, Zoe. Why are you studying alone? Do you not have somewhere better to be?”
“I could ask you the same.”
He hands Fate of the Fire back to me. I stack it on top of the others beside me, knowing that as long as Cameron is here, I won’t get any studying done. “I keep to myself, mostly out of necessity.”
“Necessity?”
He waves away my question. “But how lucky am I, finding you here?” He scoots a little closer to me, bringing with him a sticky-sweet scent that reminds me of toffee.
He doesn’t look like the type of person with a sweet tooth, but it's appealing all the same.
“Tell me something about you, Zoe. Something that you feel is inconsequential.”
Inconsequential? I feel like that could define most of my life. There isn’t anything particularly interesting about me. Even if there were, why would this stranger care?
I say the first thing that pops into my mind. “I can’t stand the taste of olives.”
Cameron makes a tsking noise with his tongue. “That’s not inconsequential. That’s good information to have if I am ever to take you out to a meal. Come now. Something that matters to no one, not even you.”
“How am I supposed to know something about myself that doesn’t matter?” It feels like a riddle I got wrong before having the chance to answer.
He sits back and rests against the wall. “Do you need an example? I’ll go first. I always lace my shoes up starting on the right side.”
I have no idea which shoe I tie first.
“Huh. That is inconsequential.”
A dazzling smile, with perfectly white teeth, lights up his face. It takes me a minute, but now that I have an example, I think I’ve figured out the right thing to say.
“I give my pencils a fresh shave before each use."
That smile stays plastered on his face. “Fascinating. Thank you for sharing.”
“You’re welcome?”
He’s a captivating man, but quite odd. I could see someone calling him off-putting, but something about him draws me in, and I find myself leaning closer to him.
He reaches forward, as if to touch me, but pulls his hand back before he can. “Would you be interested in having dinner with me?”
The question surprises me, but my answer comes out with no hesitation. “That’d be nice.”
As I gather my things and climb to my feet, Cliff comes around the corner, stopping short when he sees me.
“Zoe! What a surprise. I thought I told you to come find me for a tour.”
Before I can respond, Cameron has his hand around Cliff’s neck, shoving him against the stacks. His body shudders, shoulders twitching as he squeezes my new friend's neck. “We were in the middle of something. It’s rude to interrupt.”
The reason why this man keeps to himself has become very apparent.
“Cameron! Let him go. He’s my friend.”
When he looks at me, his green eyes seem to glow from within. He scans my body, as if trying to ascertain the truth of my statement, then he lets go of Cliff. The Beta rubs his neck, stumbling backward.
Cameron brushes his hands off and turns back to me, that same disarming smile on his face. “Now that the ugliness is over, shall we grab dinner, Zoe?”
I don’t want to reject the man. After how he reacted when Cliff interrupted, I’m terrified of how he’ll respond to a slight, but I’m not going to be alone with him. I won't reward that kind of behavior.
“I’m actually not hungry. Maybe later.” I slip past him, wrapping my arm through Cliff’s and dragging him away from the terrifying and beautiful man.