27. Zoe
Zoe
Cliff takes the news of me being an Omega well, but after I bit him and claimed him, it couldn't have been too much of a surprise.
What has surprised him, though, is who Blessed me.
"Ilota?" His voice is pitched low, and even though we're in a private study room, he looks around like we'll be overheard. "She doesn't bestow her Blessing."
"And yet here I am."
"I'm not saying I don't believe you. I'm just flabbergasted. And you didn't shift at your ceremony?"
I tap the side of my head. "She spoke to me and told me to pretend that nothing had happened. I didn't believe it at first. I thought that it was my mind playing tricks on me."
"I probably would have too." He feeds his fingers through mine and holds me close. "What made you realize it was actually happening?"
"My teeth changed in front of a mirror."
"That was kind of terrifying, not gonna lie."
"You're telling me."
Cliff fiddles with my fingers, quietly contemplating something. It's only a minute before he steels himself and asks what's on his mind. "What do you shift into?"
I knew this was coming, but will he believe me when I say I shift into something that never existed? I want to avoid the question for a minute longer, so I lobby my own.
"Have you heard the story about how Ilota buried a town in ash from a volcanic eruption?"
"Of course. She gave one of her followers a healthy child and protected them from the devastation."
"Right. And then the story ends with the follower dying, and her daughter carrying her down a path of garnets that Ilota had made for them, never to return.
She ripped up the garnets and swore not to Bless anyone until the Daughter of Garnet was ready to tread the path again.
" I fiddle with the garnet pendant my mother gave me, the one passed from woman to woman in my family for generations.
"She's never confirmed it, but I'm pretty sure that story is true. "
"What makes you think that?"
I pull my pendant out of my shirt and show it to him.
"'Remember who's daughter you are'. That's what my mom said to me when she gave it to me right after my ceremony.
All the women in my family have kept their last names and passed this necklace on to their daughters.
I never saw my mom wear it. Ilota has never given me the title, but the coincidence of this necklace traveling between the women in my family and then she chose me to Bless, makes me think that I am the daughter. "
"Does Warren know?"
"No, and I would prefer he not. I don't like the person he's becoming."
We sit in silence for a moment on the floor of the study room, our backs against the wall and our hands clasped together, before Cliff takes my face in his free hand and strokes his thumb over my cheekbone.
"What do you know about Omega and Beta bonds?"
"Just that sometimes an Omega will claim a Beta for their pack. That's what I did, right? Bond you to my pack?"
And I did it without his consent. Sure, he was waxing poetic about how he'd do anything for me, that he was mine forever, but that was probably just flowery language, and I bit him and tied our souls together.
It was shitty of me, and I owe him an apology, but before I can, he speaks again.
"Do you have a pack?"
I cringe away from the question. "Hard to say."
He wrinkles his eyebrows and shifts his bulk so he's facing me. "What does that mean?"
"Imayormaynothaveascentmatch." The words fly out of me in a jumbled whisper.
"Come again?"
I untangle our fingers so I can bury my face in my hands. "I have a scent match. But it's nothing to worry about. He's made it clear he has no interest in bonding with me."
"Shit." Cliff's heavy sigh makes my throat tighten. Does this mean he'll pull away? Maybe this was the push he needed to either ignore the bond or find a way to break it. I come with so much baggage that it wouldn't surprise me if that's the choice he makes. "Who is it?"
"Dominic Bradly."
He swears, pushes to his feet, and starts pacing around the small room. "Dominic knows? That's not good, Zoe. That's really not good."
"I mean, he's an ass, sure, but I don't think he'll do anything to hurt me."
"I wouldn't put it past him. His father is the Archon."
The Archon sits over all of the provincial Alpha Primes and Beta subprimes. He's little more than a figurehead, a public-facing mouthpiece for what the council decides. I can't see why that would be something he can use to hurt me.
"And?"
"And the Archon isn't a good guy, Zoe. Did I ever tell you I'm from Pyxis?"
Pyxis, the province formed around the church of Ilota, is the farthest from the capital and borders Eatolis, Aenella's province.
"No, you didn't."
"Things are rough there, Zoe. There's a huge military installation, and they tell us it's to protect us.
But from who? All but one of our churches, the one in what they say was Fetoria before the destruction, is boarded up.
We have the high priest. That's it. No one believes in Ilota anymore, and I don't think it's because of her supposed absence.
Our library is almost empty. I love my home, my neighbors, but something there isn't natural.
Our subprimes don't have any authority, and our Prime doesn't seem to care.
He never visits the province, and support from the Archon is nonexistent.
They don't want people to worship Ilota, and I don't know why.
I hate to think what may happen if the Archon knows she's Blessed someone. "
None of what Cliff is saying makes sense to me. I grew up in Agria, the province dedicated to Kashmyr, and our churches are booming. We have a steady influx of support from the capital, and our library is overflowing.
"Why would the Archon care that the province worships the God it was created for?"
My skin is buzzing, my dragon pushing against it, and I can't tell whether it's because she's furious at the implication that our Goddess is being suppressed, or because she just wants to be closer to Cliff.
"What is your shifted form, Zoe?"
I squirm a little. "You wouldn't believe me."
He kneels in front of me and takes my hands in his. "Try me."
My hands are growing slick with sweat as my skin continues to overheat.
I have to figure out a way to stop this from happening, because it is really inconvenient to sweat all the time, and that's not even addressing the fact that I'm sure my skin is hot to the touch.
Cliff either doesn't notice or doesn't care.
"I'm a dragon." His expression falls and is replaced by a profound sadness that has my chest hurting. My defenses kick in. "I didn't choose this, Cliff! I didn't want this life."
"I know, Zoe. I just hate this for you."
"You know about dragons?"
With a steadying breath, he gathers me in his arms and adjusts us so I'm sprawled across his lap.
"I have read a lot of books in my life, and there really isn't much out there about Ilota or her Blessed.
I've picked up most of what I have from campfire stories, stuff scribbled in the margins, or said in passing in other books.
So much has been hidden and sanitized that I was never quite sure, but there are mentions of dragons in fables.
Stories told to children who tell them to their children. Myths."
My dragon pushes forward again, lengthening my teeth and heating my skin until I can convince her to recede and allow me to stay in control of this situation.
"But we're real. I'm real."
Cliff kisses the top of my head and drags his hands soothingly down my arms. "So we have to ask ourselves who doesn't want anyone to know that?"