Chapter Three
The frigid morning air burned my lungs as I took deep heaving gasps, my breath puffs of white mist floating upon the air.
Despite the chill of the morning, sweat trickled down my brow as I laid upon the frosted grass of the clearing I exercised in.
I relished in the cold that soaked through my tunic and pants as it cooled my tired and sore muscles while I waited for Bran to arrive.
This little clearing had been our sanctuary for years, deep in the forests just north of the city.
It was far enough from the main road that neither of us ever feared those walking to work in the mines would hear our training.
Not that we were doing anything inherently wrong, yet still we preferred for these meetings to be a secret just between the two of us.
And perhaps Merle, though she never spoke a word of it.
It was here, within these very trees, that Bran taught me everything he had learned.
My gaze took in the pale pink sky far above, peeking through the canopy of frosted branches, red and golden leaves sparsely adorning them.
Late autumn would quickly leave them barren.
My mind drifted as I picked a browned, damp leaf from beside me, studying it as I thought of those golden eyes from the day before.
My breaths still came harshly as I fought to steady them.
I doubted they had truly been there for potions, let alone ones that helped ease the effects of The Fever.
With clothes so finely tailored, they must’ve had access to Potion Masters upon the palace grounds, so why come to The Golden Apothecary?
They’d been listening keenly when I had been speaking with Fenrir; were they sent to see how much Merle and I had been helping within the Old Quarter?
Did the King intend to put a stop to it? It wasn’t as if it were illegal.
Lips pursing, my fingers began tearing at the leaf as I thought. Perhaps I should tell Merle. I hadn’t wanted to worry her, but I’d be leaving for my trials in a few days. If they came back and something happened while I was away, I’d never forgive myself.
That man cloaked in black…
A shiver ran down my spine as a sigh left my lips. I was overthinking it. I had to be. Everything would be perfectly fine.
The snapping of a branch had the remnants of the leaf slipping from my fingers as I sat up, gaze searching.
“I see you started early.” Bran said as he appeared from a close cropping of trees, an easy smile upon his lips. His gaze was searching as he raised a brow, his shoulder resting upon one of the trunks. “Intent on wearing yourself out before we’ve even begun?”
Eyes rolling, I waved to him, an impish grin forming on my face. “Even exhausted, I could still lay your ass out on the grass.”
“You have the mouth of a sailor,” he chastised as he crossed the space between us to help me to my feet. Nose wrinkling, he took in my sweaty skin and clothes. “And you smell like one too, Goddess how long have you been out here, Sy?”
I didn’t exactly want to admit that I’d been out long before sunrise, which is when we had agreed to meet for the day.
With the impending trials and the anxiety of those two men, I hadn’t been sleeping well in the slightest and I needed to move.
To exert the thrumming energy that whirled through my mind and body.
To exhaust myself and the magic that built beneath my skin.
It was a torment to not be able to use it, to release it, allowing it to become a buzzing hive within.
Exhaustion was the only point they truly quieted, so if I needed to work myself to the bone to get some peace and quiet? So be it.
Sighing, he seemed to see something within my eyes that had him shrugging off his woolen coat and tossing it a few feet away to lay beside my own. “Alright, let’s get your mind off it then.”
The smile barely had time to form on my face before his fist was flying at me, a gasp sticking within my throat as I ducked and spun expertly out of his reach, annoyance narrowing my eyes.
Where Bran was all muscle and brute strength I, thankfully, was light and quick upon my feet. Something that served me well during our sparring.
Dancing back a few steps, I brought my fists to my face. “That was a cheap shot, you prick.”
“It didn’t land though, did it?” His retort reeked of sarcasm, eyes gleaming with mischief. “It means you've been learning something over these last few years.”
As he advanced once more, a vicious smile fell over my lips. This is what I needed.
Without missing a beat, I moved quicker, my fist colliding with his side causing a groan to sound before he swung.
His arm battered against my shoulder, my body slamming onto the forest floor, the impact knocking the breath from me.
Lungs burning, I rolled when he lunged for me.
I knew how difficult it’d be to regain the upper hand if he managed to pin me down, the man weighed nearly three of me put together.
I kicked out, almost laughing when my leg connected with the back of his knees, instantly buckling him. He landed with a loud thud, a curse falling from his lips.
“Cheap shots, huh?” He gritted out as I scrambled back to my feet, my laughter filling the frosty air.
“Yeah, except mine landed.”
He was back up in an instant, his hulking frame rushing as he crowded me. A blow to my ribs had me gritting my teeth—that was going to be tender for at least a week. I dodged the left hook to my stomach that came quickly after, returning a flurry of my own strikes.
Bran skittered away, shaking out his arms as he eyed me uneasily. “You’re distracted today.”
There was that look again. Searching, uncertain, pitying.
“I’m fine.” Hands clenching tight, I raised them. “Let’s go again.”
Yet it was true, my form was sloppy, my dodging clumsy and slower than usual. He’s managed to get moves in today that he hasn’t been able to for years.
He knew me far too well.
His eyes settled upon the shaking of my fists, the tight, rigid stance of my body where it should be loose, but I knew he wouldn’t deny me the fight.
I saw when he came to the realization that correcting and instructing wouldn’t do any good.
It wasn’t technique I needed, but an outlet for my fears and worries.
And Bran saw that.
He always had.
So we went on like that for another hour, exchanging parries and blows, all instruction forgotten.
A brawl is what I wanted, what I craved, so Bran gave me just that.
The crack of fist on flesh, only pulled slightly at the last second to lessen the damage.
Bruises could easily be mended, but broken bones would require a Master Healer.
I relished in the pain, in the fight to win. All my worries slipped from my mind as I focused solely upon my opponent. Not even a hint of my shadows hissing beneath my skin—a peaceful, silent, nothing.
It was when we both lay in the frosted grass, the birds beginning to sing among the trees, bodies worn and bruised, that I turned to look at the boy who had always been there for me.
“Will I see you while we’re there?” The question was quiet, as my fingers played with the leaves that littered the forest floor. His hand reached up to rub where a bruise was already beginning to form on his jaw.
“During the trials?” At my nod, his brows bunched incredulously. “Is that what you’re worried about?”
Heaving a sigh, my eyes went back to the sky, to the swirls of blue, orange, and yellow creating a canvas above us.
“One of the things,” I admitted. Gnawing at my lip, I carefully thought of how to word what I wanted to say.
Bran’s loyalty had never once wavered, so where did this insecurity stem from?
Why did I think that as soon as I stepped foot within the palace grounds I’d be thrown to the wolves?
“I’ve known you nearly my entire life, Bran.
You’ve been my best friend, you’ve always been there, but this is going to be so new.
I know Bran the boy, not the warrior. I don’t know the man who eats, sleeps, and breathes battle training.
I don’t know those you surround yourself with,” I hesitated once more, turning to find his gaze already focused upon me.
“I’m different from the people there. What if they notice?
Or what if they catch on to the secrets that I keep hidden and you’re caught in the fray?
Or Merle is? I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to the two of you because of what I am. ”
Silence followed my admission, my throat tightening as if the air around us grew thicker, harder to take in. Because that’s truly what frightened me so much, wasn’t it? It wasn’t passing my trials or fearing that Bran wouldn’t be by my side, because of course he would.
And that was precisely the issue. I was walking into a lion's den. I couldn’t hide and blend into the streets of Amori City, I couldn’t simply rely upon Merle every time I got tongue-tied with questions of my past. I would be scrutinized, and I feared that if just one person looked too closely, all of the secrets I tried so hard to conceal would unravel, and the people I loved would bear the consequences.
Let them see, little shadow.
Let them see.
Show them who you are, the ruin and devastation you will wrought upon them.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I felt as the shadows surged, latching onto my anxiety and fear, feeding it. Fueling it. I pushed back desperately, my fingers digging into the ground beneath me, pain lancing through me as my nails cracked into the frozen dirt.
“Everything is going to be okay, Sy,” Bran soothed, his large hand closing around mine, my eyes opening at the touch.
My hands slackened as the shadows retreated.
“You’ll be careful as you always have been and I’ll be there to help, like I always am.
Nobody is ever going to find out. We’ll get through this together, okay? ”
I squeezed back, “Okay.”