Chapter Twenty-Four
ARAYIK
Inever hesitate.
It’s a discipline I’ve cultivated since childhood—the ability to act without second-guessing, to execute without doubt.
Hesitation means weakness, and weakness is the worst quality a man can have.
This is what I’ve built my life on. What’s earned me my rank, and what keeps the order I’ve sworn to maintain.
But right now, I’m hesitating.
My fingers trace the security panel outside Ashford’s quarters, the skin on my knuckles tight from how hard I’ve been clenching my fists. The corridor is empty, overhead lights dimmed for the night cycle. No witnesses to what I need to do.
Just me and the truth I’ve been circling for weeks. I’ve been testing him, pushing him, never obtaining a solid answer.
Rage unlike I’ve ever known boils under my skin, and I swipe a finger over the panel before kicking Ashford’s door in. There’s a loud crack, something I ignore in favor of the wide-eyed recruit staring back at me.
Stepping inside, I close the door to hide any would be onlookers.
“Commander,” Ashford sputters in that higher-pitched whine I’ve come to hate.
“No.” I do not want to hear another word from this monstrosity.
I waste not one more second, advancing on the dead-recruit-walking, smirking at the retreating form.
If I hadn’t overheard Elias confiding in Kellen about what Ashford had done, I likely wouldn’t be here. Would have sat in my hatred for this thing in our ranks, knowing I had no proof to do anything substantial. But the only proof I need is right in front of me.
“I’ve watched you,” I growl in a voice that would have others pissing themselves. “From the first day, something was wrong.”
Ashford blanches. “I don’t know what you’re—”
“Do. Not. Speak!” Why does this sad excuse of a human believe talking to me is acceptable?
I move faster than Ashford can react, my hand shooting out to grab the edge of the mask. With one swift motion, I rip it away, both securing straps snapping under the force.
Soft features. Wide eyes. Delicate jawline. A woman’s face.
“I knew it,” I growl, satisfaction surging through me like a current. Vindication tastes metallic on my tongue.
She opens her mouth—to plead, to explain, to lie again—but I don’t give her the chance. My hand closes around her throat, fingers digging into the soft flesh beneath her jaw. I slam her back against the wall, lifting until her feet barely touch the ground.
“You think you can infiltrate us?” I hiss, leaning in close enough to notice the flecks of gold in her violet eyes. “Pretend to be one of us? You’ll die for this.”
Her hands claw at my wrist, nails digging into my skin. She’s durable for her size, but it’s nothing compared to my grip. I increase the pressure, watching as panic blooms across her face.
A chuckle leaves my throat as she kicks, her boot connecting with my shin. It barely registers. I’m an Anchor—I can make myself immovable, untouchable. I shift my density, rooting myself to the spot, making my arm as heavy as stone. Her struggles grow more desperate, face flushing red.
A beep filters through the room, and my eyes roll. There’s only two others in the building who could get into this room right now. I don’t want to fucking deal with them—I want this done.
“Arayik, stop!” My second’s voice registers in my ears, but I pay him no attention as he continues. “Let him—her go!” Ah, so he didn’t know this thing in our ranks was a woman. “Kellen, help me!”
They each take a shoulder, yanking with everything their bodies have to give. But that will not move me; not even close. There’s more yelling, more pulling, more annoyance.
Then something changes.
A sensation creeps into my mind—something foreign and invasive. At first, it’s just a whisper, a faint blip of emotion that isn’t mine. Then it grows, spreading through my thoughts like it’s determined to overtake my being.
Fear. Not my own—hers. But I’m feeling it as if it originated in me.
“What are you—” I don’t finish the words as wave after wave of terror assault my being.
I try to push it away, to focus on my rage, my duty, but more floods in. Panic. Desperation. Helplessness. A memory surfaces of a small dark space, walls pressing in, the eerie sound of heavy boots overhead. A child’s terror of being discovered.
My mind recoils, but there’s nowhere to retreat.
More images flash through my consciousness—nightmares of a girl with long hair, hiding behind a false wall as Enforcers search her family’s home.
The same girl, older now, watching through a crack in the curtains as a woman is dragged screaming from a neighboring house.
“Get out of my head!” I try to scream, but my lips make no sound. My fingers attempt to tighten and halt this invasion at its source, but they don’t obey me either.
She doesn’t stop. Instead, everything intensifies. Loneliness envelops me—bone-deep and endless. The crushing weight of a life lived in shadows. Then anger—white-hot and righteous, burning brighter than mine. The fury of watching injustice and being powerless to stop it.
Flashes of her life strike me continuously. My hand trembles against her throat. I try to hold on to my rage, to my certainty, but it slips through my fingers like water. Something inside me fractures—a crack in the foundation of everything I’ve built myself on.
“Stop it!” I snarl, clenching my eyes as if it will force her out of my head.
She pushes harder, the full force of her desperation, her determination, burning through me, searing away my resolve.
My hand falls away from her throat.
The lying bitch collapses to the floor, gasping for air, one hand clutching at her neck. I stumble backward, my mind reeling from the assault. My thoughts are scattered, contaminated with her emotions, her memories. I can’t separate them from my own.
I don’t realize I’m being held against a wall by my own brothers until I’m screaming. “She’s a female, a fucking traitor! Her insubordinate attitude should not be bred. The only option is death!”
Neither of my men moves to kill her. Why don’t they understand this?
Of course they don’t—they’ve always been too soft-hearted, even Kellen, the emotionless bastard he is. It’s the exact reason I came here alone, so they wouldn’t be forced to deal with the problem.
“Let’s get him out,” Kellen orders, his voice sharp with anger directed at me—something I’m more than familiar with.
I fight against them, but my focus is shattered. I can still feel her…her pain, fear, defiance. It clings to me like a second skin, impossible to shed.
“She’s infiltrated us. She’s been working against us from the beginning,” I spit, jerking against their grip as they drag me toward the door.
“Shut up,” Kellen growls, tightening his hold on my arm.
I laugh, the sound harsh and bitter even to my own ears. “She needs to die before the Syndicate discovers a female found a way into our ranks. Our reputations would be demolished.”
“That’s not your decision alone to make.” Elias’ voice surprises me, steady and calm despite his stiff posture. He doesn’t defy me like this. Ever.
Fuck them. I’ll come back later when they’re not drooling over the cunt.
My face hardens, all emotion draining away until only cold determination remains. With a surge of strength, I break free from their hold, shoving them back. But instead of attacking the woman again, I turn and stride for the door.
At the threshold, I almost pause, ready to warn her that I’ll be back.
She’s not worth it.
Then I’m gone, the door slamming behind me.
She’s still inside me. Her pain burns like acid under my skin, and I will do everything to rid myself of the memory. I do not want to humanize females or view them as anything other than my duty.
Collect and deliver. Nothing more.