Chapter 9 #2
“I couldn’t do anything. You were lost, Tessa,” he insisted.
Pain and regret lined his features, but she couldn’t trust it.
She couldn’t trust anyone in this godsdamned realm.
“Xan handed you to me when they arrived. You were my purpose here, but when the mirror gate let them in, others took the opportunity to come here too. They’d been waiting, just as I was. ”
“Who?” Tessa snapped. “Who else came here?”
“Seraphs sent by Achaz.”
“You mean Dex. And Brecken. And Oralia,” she seethed.
“There were others.”
“And again I ask, why are you just now telling me this? When you have known this entire time?”
“Because I haven’t known this entire time,” he answered, a bite of irritation creeping into his tone now too. “I know you have every reason and right to jump to the worst conclusions, Tessa, but let me explain. Then you can decide how long to continue hating me.”
She glared at him but bit her tongue on her sharp retort, instead crossing her arms and jerking her chin at him to continue.
“I wasn’t the only one waiting for you,” he said, moving for his jacket to retrieve another roll of lull-leaf.
“Like I said, your arrival here had been prophesied for centuries. Some say since the world was created. At one time, the kingdoms had all worked together, before the current rulers took their thrones. But relations between the Achaz and Arius Kingdoms had started to erode well before Rordan and Valter, even if they worked together for some time. Valter was trying to regain their place in Devram, and Rordan professed he was vying for peace among the kingdoms. But Rordan left The Augury, abandoning Valter, as you know. What we didn’t know was that Rordan hadn’t been working for peace at all.
He has eyes everywhere and working alongside Valter gave him access to information that the Arius Lord learned.
You arrived, and they arrived, having made arrangements to enter through the Achaz Kingdom. ”
“Then where was the Keeper to meet them?” Tessa interrupted.
His smile was all teeth when he answered, “Killed the moment they stepped through the mirror gate, despite having pledged loyalty to Rordan. He took no chances.”
Her breath stalled, but she didn’t react otherwise, waiting for him to keep going, because none of this answered how she had gotten lost among the realm.
“I met Xan at the mirror gate, and the plan was to take you to my place until Xan and Aiyana could acclimate to the world and culture. They were to be your legal guardians, and there were plans in place to integrate all of you into the Arius Kingdom. But we never made it out of the Pantheon,” Tristyn went on.
“We had scarcely left the inner chambers when they appeared, charging down the stairs. Xan had already handed you off to me, shoving Luka to my side while he and Aiyana fought, but neither of them could shift inside the tight spaces. They killed several of the seraphs, but they had been a diversion. Rordan was waiting with four others, stronger than an average seraph, along with Elowyn.”
“Stronger than an average seraph?” Tessa asked, her head tilting at this information.
Tristyn nodded, relief crossing his face at her willingness to hear him out. “Yes. They are called Maraans, and they are stronger than a seraph in the way a Sargon descendant is stronger than a dragon shifter. Both the dragons and the seraphs emerged from the Chaos, but—”
“Achaz and Arius made some stronger and more elite, playing like the gods they are,” Tessa sneered.
“Yes and no,” he answered, tipping his head from side to side as he debated what to say.
Or maybe how to explain it. “Sargon and Arius were always close, from my understanding. When Arius deflected from Achaz in the Everlasting War, that was when the Guardians were created. Achaz answered with the Maraans, but that is not the point of this story. The point is, they let Xan and Aiyana weaken fighting the seraphs. I was using my power to keep you and Luka safe, and by the time Rordan and the Maraans appeared, we were all low in reserves. Before we could properly act, Elowyn cast an enchantment, but she did so at the same time that Xan struck down one of the Maraans. The enchantment collided with his power, and the effect caused the enchantment to hit people it wasn’t supposed to.
While I suspect it was meant to make us forget who you were specifically, the power collision made the enchantment unbalanced.
It did make us forget, but it also made other memories and knowledge murky and distorted.
“The next thing I remember was being in that passageway surrounded by the destruction of the fighting. We couldn’t remember what you looked like, and we didn’t know what had happened.
I didn’t even remember the Maraans being there until recently, only the seraphs.
Elowyn’s enchantment was to modify memories, but it hit her and Rordan too.
None of us could remember who you were and what happened, but all of us knew you were here.
None of us knew how to find you or where to begin looking. ”
“So only Dex, Oralia, and Brecken knew where I was?” she asked, new fury simmering in her gut.
“I can’t say for sure, but that’s my guess,” he said, familiar pity filling his face now.
Pity she didn’t want or need. “Because for over two decades I was searching, Valter was searching, and Rordan was searching. It appears Rordan learned of you first, enacting a plan of his own that obviously didn’t go accordingly. ”
Tessa had gone silent, letting all the new information settle in her soul. Repeating it and turning it over in her mind.
“I was trying, Tessa,” Tristyn said after several full minutes of silence. “Every moment was spent trying to find you. I became obsessed, leaving Cienna to deal with…everything else. Every second was spent working to recover lost knowledge and creating new spells in attempts to find you.”
“But you didn’t tell me when you did find me,” she argued, hands driving into her hair. “You didn’t tell me anything!”
“I hadn’t pieced it all together yet. How was I supposed to explain myself when I couldn’t give you the answers you were so desperately seeking?” he said. “By the time I could, Rordan already had his claws so deep in you, you wouldn’t have believed me anyway.”
“I want to be alone,” she said suddenly, turning away from him to face the fireplace once more.
“Tessa—”
“Leave, Tristyn,” she bit out.
It took another full minute before she heard him pick up his discarded jacket and leave the den. She had a feeling he wouldn’t go far. Or someone else would come relieve him of babysitting duty. She knew they were all watching her closely.
Dropping down, she sat in front of the glass pane and wrapped her arms around her bent knees. The flames danced with each other, always fighting. Pushing and pulling. Hating but needing each other all the same.
She’d been right.
That had been a dreadful story.
She didn’t know where she was.
Definitely Devram. That was where she’d wanted to go when she’d stepped through the mirror gate, but this wasn’t where the Pantheon had once stood.
Then again, she’d destroyed that mirror gate before they’d left this world.
This was obviously one of the other mirrors she hadn’t destroyed in her quest to decimate them all before the Fates could get here.
She’d run out of time in the end anyway.
Rubbing her arms against the chill in the air, she turned in place, recognizing she was in a city of some sort.
It was run down, but not in complete ruin like she would have expected if the Fates had come searching for her.
Buildings still stood, the streets empty, and she started walking, the pavement freezing beneath her bare feet.
She walked for several minutes, turning up and down streets.
There was nothing here she recognized, but that didn’t mean anything.
She hadn’t seen much of the realm beyond the Arius and Achaz Kingdoms. She could be anywhere, but based on the cooler weather, she guessed the northern part of the world.
Entering what was clearly a residential district of the city, she was about to turn another corner when a voice had her stilling and slowly turning.
“Hello, clever tempest.”
Theon stood several feet away, his hands in the pockets of his suit pants and his hair stirring in the slight breeze. He watched her, and the smallest of smiles tilted on the corner of his mouth.
Her heart fell.
He was still here. That part of the future hadn’t changed despite actions she’d taken to alter things. Despite her trying to alter this outcome. It had driven her mad, and she’d still failed in the end.
He looked up as the first raindrop fell, the sky quickly turning from sunny to grey. Then he looked back at her. “Why so sad, little storm?”
“You are still a phantom,” she said with a frown, watching him drift closer.
That small smile tilted a little more. “Worried about me?”
“Yes. No.” She reached for her hair, fingers getting caught. “You are infuriating.”
“Where is Luka?” he asked, reaching for her hands and gently untangling them.
She shrugged, reveling in his touch. She’d stopped trying to figure out how, didn’t really care. Not as half her soul settled at feeling him near.
“I have not seen him since he left,” she answered while he switched to the other hand.
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I…” She trailed off, trying to remember.
The dreams got confusing with memories from now and those of the future that might never be memories at all.
This part she remembered though. It was something she’d been contemplating for days.
“He didn’t want me,” she finally answered, her voice nothing but a whisper.
“You are all he wanted,” Theon said tightly.
She shook her head again. “I was too much. Did too much. I set him free. That’s what we do for those we lo— Care about, right? That’s what you did. That’s what we do. That’s how—”
Her words stalled as he finished with her hair, a large hand cupping her chin and tilting her face up to his. “He left you?”
“Yes. I mean, not yet. But in this time…” She trailed off, too lost in emerald eyes with darkness swirling, calling to her own power. “I hurt him.”
“And we hurt you,” he said tightly, releasing her chin and taking her hand.
“Where are we going?” she asked, letting him pull her along. She welcomed it. No decisions to make. Nothing to think about. Just letting him take all that from her. Not forever. Just a reprieve. As if he knew it was what she needed right now.
“Out of the cold,” he answered over his shoulder, climbing a few steps and pushing open a front door.
Everything in the house was covered in a thick layer of grime and dust, but the bones of the structure were still good. A whip of darkness wrapped around a wooden chair, snapping it into pieces before depositing them into the wood-burning fireplace.
“A little help?” he asked, looking at her expectantly.
Her brows pinched. “I do not have fire magic.”
He still held her hand, and he tugged her forward so she stood in front of him, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “I’ve seen that lightning of yours start more than one fire, clever tempest.”
“And if I start the entire house on fire?” she countered.
A palm landed on her shoulder before sliding down the length of her bare arm. Gooseflesh was left in its wake as he folded his fingers around her hand. “You can do this,” he murmured, speaking softly into her ear. “Let us help you.”
“I don’t know how to trust anyone anymore,” she whispered.
His movements paused, his breath making the fine hairs by her ear flutter against her temple.
Finally, he said, “That’s fair, Tessa. Then trust yourself.”
“I don’t trust her either. She’s too—”
“She’s perfect,” he interjected. “Too many people have tried to change her and use her and take from her.”
“And now?” she asked, her voice wavering as she waited for his answer.
“And now she is free to become whoever she wishes to be,” he replied, once again lifting her hand. “She gets to decide who is worthy of her. The only reason you don’t trust yourself is because you were constantly told you weren’t enough.”
A fine mist of darkness hovered, waiting, and she sucked in a sharp breath as she let her power rush to the surface. Lightning arced, just as he’d said it would, and that darkness guided it to the hearth, flames jumping to life.
And she stared as the fire danced, free yet controlled.
Wild yet content.
Fierce yet balanced.
Then she spun in his hold, looking up at him once more before she was pushing onto her toes as high as she could. He met her halfway, sounds of desperation coming from both of them. It may be a dream, but her body and soul felt the separation of decades.
Breaking the kiss, her hands slipped behind his neck, linking together as he pulled her impossibly closer. With her head on his chest, she could swear she could hear his heart beating. Phantom or not, she didn’t care right now. Not as they began swaying in an empty house among the ruin of a realm.
Not as she danced with a ghost of what could have been and would never be.
Her eyes snapped open, and she gasped for a breath.
On the floor.
She was on the floor in the den. Sitting up, a blanket pooled in her lap. Someone had covered her and dimmed the lights so only the glow of the fireplace illuminated the space. It wasn’t until she ran a hand down her face that she felt the tears on her cheeks.
This was why she couldn’t let herself sleep. Because she could still feel him. His arms tucking her in tight. His lips on hers…
Nightmares that haunted her. Just like she’d told Luka.
She needed to get out of this room. It smelled like them and lulled her into a false sense of security.
Quietly stepping from the den, she made her way back down the passage, passing several rooms with doors closed. Everyone must have gone to bed for the night.
The sitting room was empty and still, and despite knowing she shouldn’t, she crept to Luka’s room.
As delicately as she could, she turned the knob and pushed the door open.
He was there, in the middle of his nest of blankets and pillows, and she felt two more tears slip free at the memory of being in that bed with him.
Of being in a bed with both of them.
Tiptoeing into the room a little more, she made her way to the closet where she found the shirt he’d worn that day. Shoving her arms into the sleeves, she didn’t worry about rolling them up just yet. She’d do that once she was out.
Steeling herself, she kept her footsteps light as she slipped from the room and quietly shut the door behind her, never once acknowledging the glowing sapphire eyes that tracked her every step.