Chapter 22 Luka #2
Eliza had her food halfway to her mouth. Razik had sat back in his chair, fully invested in the conversation now, and Xan was frozen, if not a little stunned.
But then their father sighed, pulling out a stool and taking a seat at the island. He left one stool between him and Eliza, folding his arms atop the counter.
“I shouldn’t be surprised. I assumed this conversation would happen eventually,” Xan said, angling himself so he could look between Luka and Razik.
“Yes, Aiyana and I share an inevitable bond. We faced trials of our own. Had choices laid before us.” His sapphire eyes flicked to Razik.
“Forced to make sacrifices that nearly broke us.”
Razik said nothing, but he stiffened. Eliza immediately reached over, resting a hand on his arm.
All of their earlier bickering was gone as she leaned closer, giving her strength to her bonded.
Luka was sure she was speaking down their bond, and something in him stirred.
Something he acutely recognized. Something he’d often feel watching Theon with Tessa in the beginning.
“We didn’t accept the inevitable bond until after Razik was born. Until after we’d had to leave him with my brother,” Xan continued.
“Is that what we’re calling it?” Razik cut in, each word dripping with venom. “Because I call it abandonment.”
“I can understand why,” Xan said, sorrow and regret filling the air around him. “It was never supposed to be that long. Nothing went the way it was supposed to. Aiyana… She hated me for that. For a long time, she resented me. I can understand why you would do the same.”
“And yet she forgave you?” Luka asked, desperate to know how and why. Wishing she was still alive so he could ask her.
Xan’s smile was small and sad. “She did. As I said, we faced trials of our own.”
“You left me there for centuries,” Razik interjected again.
“Your world was locked. No one could get in,” Xan replied.
“Others found their way in.”
“At great cost.”
“I wasn’t worth the cost. Glad you could confirm what I’ve wrestled with for decades,” Razik sneered, pushing to his feet.
“You know what? It doesn’t fucking matter.
Tybalt is my father. Not you, even if it is your blood in my veins.
I survived centuries without you. I sure as fuck don’t need you now. ”
“Razik!” Eliza called, scrambling off her stool to go after him, but he was gone before she’d even taken three steps. She turned back to Xan. “I’m sorry. He…”
“You do not need to apologize, Eliza,” Xan said. “This is my penance to pay, and I have faith that some day, we will break through this. Someday, he will be ready to hear me out. And if not, it is deserved, but I will never stop trying.”
“Please don’t,” she whispered, and then she left, going to find Razik so she could be whatever he needed in this moment.
The quiet settled over the room once more, and Luka cleared his throat. “Did you eat?”
“No, but I can…”
Xan trailed off as Luka passed over his untouched sandwich before beginning to make another.
“I know the inevitable bond is sacred and you think I’m a fool for considering not accepting it,” Luka said, eyes fixed on what he was doing.
“I have never said that,” Xan replied. “I wouldn’t have blamed your mother if she had never given in to it. However, I can also tell you she doesn’t regret it. Perhaps someday she will be able to tell you the same herself.”
The knife he was using slipped from his hand, bouncing off the counter’s edge and clattering to the floor. Luka slowly lifted his eyes to his father, sure he couldn’t have heard him right. Sure this wasn’t fucking happening again.
“She’s alive?”
A snarl laced his words, but Xan didn’t appear alarmed in the least. Stoic and calm as always.
“She is,” he answered.
“Where the fuck is she? Is she chained up some place like you were for over two decades? Why are we just sitting here? Why haven’t you said anything until now?” Luka demanded.
And what the fuck was wrong with him? First Theon, now his father. He was never the one to lose his cool. He’d always been as calm and collected as his father.
Until she came along.
“She is safe, Luka,” his father said, getting up and retrieving the knife.
He placed it in the sink before getting a new one, continuing to make the sandwich.
“We arrived here when you were scarcely five years. You and me, Aiyana and Tessa. You’ve learned what happened.
How we lost her, but you have yet to learn the rest. There has been so much happening, I don’t blame you.
One can only process so many things at any given time. ”
“It’s no excuse,” Luka cut in, watching his father finish making him a sandwich. “I should have asked, but you should have said something.”
“You are a Sargon descendant through and through,” Xan said. “You value duty and loyalty. You are a Guardian, but you are first and foremost a dragon. You fiercely protect what you consider yours. We all do. It’s what we’ve always done.
“I was protecting Razik when I left him with my brother. I was protecting my Ward’s daughter when we came here, and I’ve been protecting you and your mother each day I sat in that cell.
It wasn’t a burden to be tortured and locked up to keep you safe.
It is our honor to do such things. I know you feel the same about Theon, and I know you feel the same about Tessa.
This is why this choice wars within your soul.
It goes against your nature to deny it, but it also goes against your nature to accept it. ”
And somehow, in a few simple sentences, his father had put into words everything he’d been feeling. All the thoughts he’d lain awake at night trying to sort out. All the rage and uncertainty he’d spent hours and hours in the sky attempting to shake off.
“Then where is she? My mother,” Luka clarified as Xan placed a plate with the freshly made sandwich in front of him before returning to his own seat.
“The Anala Kingdom,” Xan answered. “You were young. The enchantment that altered our memories of Tessa had lingering effects, but it affected you the most. Younglings already don’t store all their memories, and the enchantment increased that.
It’s why you have so few and remember so little of your earliest years. ”
“I don’t understand. She’s just been in the Anala Kingdom? This entire time? While I was…”
And he suddenly understood exactly how Razik felt about their parents. Because how could she have been one fucking kingdom away this entire time? For over two decades?
“I know what you’re thinking, and you are wrong,” Xan said, his voice sterner than Luka had ever heard it. “Your mother cares for you deeply. It has destroyed her knowing you were so close, yet impossible to reach. Returning to you would have resulted in her immediate death.”
“Was this before or after you were detained?” Luka asked, trying to remember something, anything, from that time, but he came up blank. The first real, concrete memory he had was Valter telling him of his parents’ deaths.
“Before, but not by much. A day to be exact,” Xan said, both of them having long since forgotten their food.
His father shifted, almost appearing nervous about what he was going to say.
“When we arrived, and after we lost Tessa, we went to the Arius Kingdom. It was only natural. As the son of Sargon, it is in my blood to protect Arius’s bloodline.
We can sense them, although you have likely never realized it growing up around them your entire life.
“Anyway, Valter was thrilled to discover what we were since the Sargon Legacy of Devram had experienced a genocide centuries earlier. He immediately made me part of his council, giving me the singular task of finding Tessa. Of course, that proved to be far more difficult than any of us imagined it would be, but during that brief period, I spent a lot of time with Valter and his other advisors.”
“Julius and Mansel,” Luka said, his lip curling back.
“Among others,” Xan said, shifting in his seat.
“Your mother and I kept our distance, and we kept you away as much as possible, despite Valter pushing you and Theon together constantly. But one day, we discovered you with another. A female. Same age. Dark red hair. Emerald eyes. She was said to be Mansel’s daughter, but your mother insisted she wasn’t.
I knew she was right. I could scent it. Not just the Arius lineage, but the St. Orcas lineage. ”
“What are you talking about?” Luka asked, not understanding. Because how could the child be a St. Orcas but also the same age as him and Theon?
“It took some time to figure it out. I kept working with Valter while Aiyana searched for answers,” Xan continued, but then he hesitated.
“What? I swear to the gods if you keep any more godsdamn secrets from me,” Luka said on a growl, smoke appearing on his exhale.
“No, you’re right,” Xan said. “I won’t keep it from you; it’s just going to come as a shock. The female was Cressida’s daughter. With Valter. Cressida is not Theon’s mother.”
The truth hung in the air between them as Luka stared back at his father, unable to say anything.
“Her name is Kasdeya,” Xan said, his tone a touch softer.
“I don’t know the specifics. I don’t know why she was being raised in Mansel’s house rather than his own.
But I had learned quickly what kind of male Valter was.
I knew he was using the child to lord over Cressida, and I knew she was likely being kept and groomed for much more sinister things. ”
He wasn’t wrong. Luka knew that. But all of this… That child was Axel’s full blooded sister, unless Cressida wasn’t his mother either?
“It is in our nature as Sargon Legacy to protect the Arius bloodline,” Xan said again. “And while Aiyana is not born of Sargon, she is still a dragon. Kasdeya may not have been hers, but she was an innocent child caught in the middle of things that were not her fault. Much like Tessa.
“We agreed to leave. To take you and Kasdeya and regroup. Your mother went first, but she couldn’t take both of you.
She took Kasdeya, and I was to follow the next day with you.
Except Valter learned of the betrayal, and he betrayed me in return, handing me over to Rordan in vengeance.
And you? You became as lost among it all as Tessa was.
Different, yet still the same. Only you formed a bond with Theon.
Something just as powerful as all the bonds in existence.
Perhaps more so because it was chosen. And Tessa… Well, you know.”
“Yeah,” was all Luka could say.
He did know. She’d had no one. Was locked away in cupboards, forgotten and alone until Dex had shown up.
Then he’d betrayed her. Her entire life was betrayal and manipulation.
Sure, he’d given her a couple months of something more, but had he?
She didn’t know how to be loved, but nobody had let her learn either.
Did it matter in the end? She could have still chosen something other than what her life had been.
But he hadn’t been enough to sway her. Whatever was between them hadn’t been enough.
And maybe in the end, that was what was keeping him from letting go of this. From being unable to move forward. His entire life he’d strived to make sure he was worthy of his lineage. The last remaining Sargon Legacy. He’d strived to be good enough.
And he hadn’t been enough to keep her from going over that edge.
“She’s still in the Anala Kingdom?” Luka asked, finally picking up his sandwich, mostly so he had something to do with his hands.
“She is. As far as I know. I do not have reason to believe otherwise,” Xan answered.
“Although this collar blocks magic, including my bond with her. But I know they made it safe. I know she lives because even this collar wouldn’t have saved me the agony of my soul losing her. Beyond that, I do not know.
“Why there? Does the Anala Lady know?” Xan asked.
“Lady Kyra knows a great number of things,” his father answered, picking up his own sandwich. “Like everyone else in this realm, she has simply been preparing and waiting.”
“For what?”
“A beginning or an ending. No one really knows.”