Chapter 49 Tessa #2
“Of course they are, Tessa.” He shifted, splaying a hand on her stomach. “You can’t change your feelings, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about them. You should, however, talk about them instead of trying to shove them aside or face them alone.”
“I should want to, though, right? Meet them? Shouldn’t I be curious? Anxious? Shouldn’t I be excited at the prospect?”
“There is no right way to be feeling about any of this,” Luka said gently, his fingers on her stomach dragging loose circles atop her shirt. “Curious. Tentative hope.” He paused. “Anger.”
“Stop reading my emotions,” she muttered.
He huffed a chuckle. “It’s a balance, baby girl. You have to let us help you.”
She snuggled back into him. “You’ll be there tomorrow, right? You’re coming?”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I’ll be where you can see me,” he answered.
Silent seconds ticked by until Luka said, “When we went to free Xan, Eliza said something to Razik. I didn’t understand then, but I do now.
She said just because you help here doesn’t mean you have to do anything else.
No one is expecting anything else from you, and even if they are, you helping here?
That’s all it is. It is not an offering of anything else.
Just because she comes here tomorrow doesn’t mean you have to decide right now or even tomorrow how much you wish to know her. Okay?”
She nodded again, staying silent and once more trying to find sleep. Even when Theon joined them some time later, it didn’t come, and she knew they didn’t sleep either.
“You’re sure we don’t need a mirror gate for this?” Theon asked, all of them gathered in the gardens of Arius House.
Theon was focused on the task, and she was focusing on the cool ground beneath her bare toes. The soft breeze on her face. The rays of warmth trying to pierce through the stormy sky.
She was doing that. She knew that. The sky a reflection of her inner turmoil.
Luka and Theon had been unusually careful around her. Fretting and fussing. It was annoying.
“Not with a portal key,” Xan said for what Tessa was sure was the hundredth time.
This was not an offering of anything else, she reminded herself. She was bringing Akira here to help the realm. That was it. If her mother had expectations, they didn’t matter. No promises of anything more.
She looked up, unexpectedly locking eyes with Razik.
The male was watching her, arms folded over his chest and mouth pressed in a firm line.
But a strange understanding passed between them.
How many times had she told Xan she didn’t know if or when Razik would forgive him?
She hated that this was what she had in common with the broody dragon who was an asshole ninety percent of the time.
Her fingers curled, chaos coiling around her fingers as her breathing became erratic. Theon and Luka both whipped their heads to her, but Razik only held her stare.
“You control when and how the relationship moves forward,” Razik said, pointedly ignoring Xan’s attention on him. “Some days you will be able to handle a conversation. Other days, you will not want to be in the same room. Both are fine. You hold that control here.”
Tessa nodded slowly, something in her chest easing at finding someone who at least understood what she was struggling with.
Xan cleared his throat. “She will follow your lead, Tessa. She will wish for a chance to explain her actions, but…”
“But you are not required to hear her excuses,” Razik interjected, his features hardening. “And that is a service to her. If you are forced to hear them before you are ready, they will fall on deaf ears.”
Tessa nodded again, pursing her lips as she turned to Xan. “What do I need to do?”
“Because Temural altered them, they are not entirely like other portal keys,” Xan said, dragging his eyes from Razik and focusing back on her.
“You’ll need to use your power to pull the stones from the rings and repair them.
It will…be a lot, but once reunited, the portal key will do the rest. The one she bears should recognize it. ”
“And if someone follows her through?” Razik cut in.
“Is that a possibility?” Tessa asked, eyes wide in alarm.
“Yes, but highly unlikely. Akira is going to assume she is going to Temural. She will not let anyone follow,” Xan answered.
“But if someone is with her when the portal opens?”
Xan held her stare, and it was answer enough. This was a risk.
“With all of us here, if someone follows, we can handle it,” Theon interrupted.
“Can we?” Tessa argued. “If a god or goddess follows her through?”
“They can’t come here, Tessa,” he said calmly.
“Because it will upset the balance?” she drawled. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“If it were that easy, don’t you think Achaz would have already come to Devram?”
That was a valid point. All of her visions confirmed the same. He couldn’t come here. There was something keeping him from entering.
“Fine,” she said, holding out her hand. “Give me the rings.”
“Tessa, if you need time—” Theon started.
“I don’t. Now,” she insisted, her power growing restless as she prepared to let it breathe.
“Tristyn will need to take it from here,” Xan said. “This is Witch magic now.”
Witch magic. Blood magic. Marks and enchantments. It didn’t much matter to her. She was ready to be done with this.
Tristyn had already drawn an upside-down triangle on the ground nearby, and he gestured for her to come closer. “Place a ring at each point,” he said, features dark in concentration.
“Have you done this before?” she asked, placing the rings.
“Have I repaired a portal key? No,” Tristyn replied.
“They are rare, and those that do exist are hidden away.” She nodded, letting Tris guide her to the center of the triangle.
“Normally there would be incantations involved, but since this one was altered and is keyed to your blood, I think your blood and chaos will do.”
“You think?” she asked incredulously as he passed her a small knife.
He shrugged with a wink. “We’ll improvise if we need to.”
“This doesn’t seem like something we should improvise.”
“You’re altering everything, wild fury,” he said. “It’s all improvising at this point.”
“Right,” she muttered, dragging the blade across her palm as Tristyn stepped from the triangle.
She couldn’t let it drip to the ground in fear of summoning Hunters, so instead she let it pool, her chaos merging with it.
Then, just like she had with Xan’s collar, she pulled threads of her power and sent them to the rings.
It was innate somehow, letting her power do this. Recreate something. Everything came from Chaos, so it only made sense her chaos would be drawn to making something new.
The rings rose into the air until they hovered at eye level, light springing from each one and meeting in the center. That light turned dark, a churning mass of onyx as streaks of purple and gold flared until a ripple of power radiated out from the thing.
Tessa blinked, the light receding. Everyone around her was getting up from the ground. Tristyn was holding Theon back while Xan held Luka’s shoulders.
“You can’t go to her right now,” Tristyn gritted out. “Not until this is done.”
“The fuck I can’t,” Theon snarled, shoving Tristyn off him, but Razik was there, helping the deity.
“I’ve seen this done before,” Razik snapped. “If you interrupt the process, it could cause something you don’t want. The last being I saw repair a portal key didn’t survive it.”
Theon stilled at that, and his voice was death when he said, “I was never told that was a possibility.”
“She’s stronger than that Witch was,” Razik gritted out. “But I’m assuming you don’t want to chance anything.”
The stone in front of her was a mix of colors now.
Marbled onyx with white and violet running through it.
Her magic was reaching for it, coils of chaos wrapping around it tightly and drawing it to them.
Tessa reached up, taking it between her fingers.
It pulsed in her palm. It was odd to think about.
This other-worldly power in the palm of her hand.
If she closed her hand, squeezed tightly enough, maybe it could just… cease to exist.
Or maybe we could create something new. Use that power. Take it as our own.
Tessa! Luka growled in her mind at the same time Theon snapped, No, Tessa!
She slowly turned her head to them once more. They couldn’t stop them. No one could stop them. Not the gods. Not the Fates. This was theirs anyway. She was theirs—
“No, you are not,” Theon snarled, his darkness slamming into Tristyn and Razik and throwing them back.
He prowled forward, not caring about the ritual mark on the ground or the power she held in her fingers.
He gripped her chin, forcing her eyes to his.
“The only ones you belong to are me and Luka. Not the gods. Not the Fates. And you certainly do not belong to the fucking Chaos. Do you understand?”
You control it. Not the other way around, Luka added down the bond.
Then that key started glowing, and it didn’t matter what she thought. Not as it sprang from her fingers, hovering in the air once more.
“Fuck,” Theon cursed, grabbing her and dragging her back.
“I told you interrupting this would fuck something up,” Razik grumbled as Tessa fought against Theon’s hold, trying to get back to that power.
Because he was wrong. She was Chaos, and Chaos was hers. It called to her. It was a piece of her. It was—
The portal key dropped to the ground. The air shimmered as if a clear veil was there, and then a female stepped through it.
Hair the same gold as her own, loose and wavy, fell to her navel.
Blood-red lips and ethereal grace. An ivory dress that was so sheer it hid nearly nothing with a gold belt slung low on her hips.
Gold rings. Gold earrings. Grey eyes swirling with gold and violet.
“I’ve seen you before,” Tessa breathed, Theon still holding her to him.