28. ANASTASIA
Chapter twenty-eight
D uring the drive to Fox Island, I was as tense as a tightly wound spring. I sat back, my mind firing off a thousand questions a minute. Why had Nikolai acted like he didn’t know me at the arraignment? Was he under Viktor’s orders? That thought made my blood boil. The idea of him being involved in kidnapping Samantha and plotting against the Thorin brothers gnawed at me. If he’d had a hand in that, I’d make sure he answered for it.
The estate slowly came into view, looming ominously against the tranquil forest of the island. The mansion was a monstrosity that screamed old money and power. It had an air of intimidation about it and was completely out of sync with its peaceful surroundings.
I leaned forward once we were close to the edge of the property. “Just here is fine, thanks,” I said, keeping my voice even. The last thing I needed was to storm in through the front gates like a bull in a china shop. Caution was my ally here.
The driver shot me a questioning look through the rearview mirror, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. Clearly, dropping a passenger off in the middle of nowhere wasn’t his usual fare. But he didn’t press me, just nodded and pulled over. As soon as the car came to a full stop, I slipped out, my nerves tingling with anticipation.
The car pulled away, leaving a cloud of dust behind. I took a moment to survey my surroundings. The estate was quiet—too quiet. It appeared well maintained, not like a place left to fend for itself as I remembered from the day of the wreck. The grass was freshly cut, the flower beds were neat and free of weeds, and there was no sign of police tape.
No cars were in the driveway, which helped me relax a bit. The place seemed deserted, but I knew better than to let my guard down, so I moved cautiously, my every sense heightened. Gusts of salty ocean air hit my face, and the scent of pine from the surrounding forest grounded me. I walked along the edge of the property, my sneakers crunching on fallen leaves and twigs.
Slipping through a gap in the hedge, I found myself closer to the back of the mansion than I’d guessed. A bit of a lucky break. The garden was immaculate, filled with blooming flowers and neatly trimmed bushes. It was the kind of place you’d expect to find in a glossy magazine.
I scampered forward and crouched behind a row of rose bushes. The mansion’s back entrance was a few yards away. The house was dark, no lights on anywhere that I could see. Maybe no one was here, and I could get in and out quickly. How long could it possibly take to check the closet for my bag and run down to the garage for my phone? God, I hoped they were still there. Taking one last look around to ensure no one was watching, I made my move.
I reached the service entrance—the same one I’d slipped through a few weeks ago—in only a few hurried steps. To my disappointment, the door had been replaced with a metal one. There was no way I’d be able to get through it. Leaning down, I picked up a stone and grazed my thumb over it, wondering whether I could break the window and climb in. I had to assume a security alarm would sound, like the firing of a starter’s pistol in a race, once I smashed it. Get in, get out—that was all I had to do. I paused, listening for any signs of life inside.
Nothing.
I took a deep breath, steadied my nerves, and with a quick move, struck the pane with the rock. The shattering of glass was loud, making me wince. Using another rock, I broke out the remaining glass. I tossed my backpack in and then slipped inside.
I had barely gotten a few steps in when I heard rapid footsteps coming toward me. My heart hammered against my ribs as adrenaline surged through me. I tensed, my muscles coiling for a confrontation.
Within seconds, a shadow descended on me. A hand grabbed my arm, twisted it behind my back, and forced me to the ground. I struggled instinctively, but I was overpowered and pinned to the ground with a knee in my back.
“Get your filthy hands off me!” I spat, kicking out.
“Anastasia?” The grip loosened, and I rolled over to find Nik staring down at me in shock.
Recognition flickered in his eyes, his expression morphing from fury to shock. “Ana? Holy hell! It’s you? I could’ve killed you!” he bellowed, his voice echoing off the walls, the Russian accent thicker with emotion. “The only reason I didn’t pull my gun was because I didn’t want to make a bloody mess in the house and have to clean it up!”
“Nik, you idiot! Get off me!” I shoved him away, fury and relief mingling inside me as I scrambled to my feet.
He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a deep sigh. “I thought you were just another unfriendly trying to take me out. This place was empty since the FBI raided it last December, until I arrived a month ago. When I got here, I discovered it wasn’t just the FBI that had taken a look around. I sure as hell never expected you to show up unannounced and break in. Surely you know better than to be so damn reckless!”
For a while, we stood there, catching our breath. Suddenly, Nik’s face broke into a grin, and he pulled me into a giant bear hug, lifting me off my feet and spinning me around.
“God, Ana, I can’t believe it’s really you! Are your memories back? Are you okay? How did you ditch the Thorins?” He set me down but didn’t release me, scanning my face for answers as he held me by the arms.
My relief at seeing him for the first time in over a year was short-lived. The anger I’d pushed aside when my memories of him returned came rushing back. I shoved him away, my hands trembling with rage. “Why didn’t you come to the hospital, Nik? Why didn’t you acknowledge me in some way? You left me helpless with nothing and no one! How could you be so cruel?”
His face fell, guilt replacing the joy. “Ana, I…I was trying to protect you.”
“By ignoring me? By letting me think you didn’t care?” Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back, refusing to let him see me cry.
Nik reached out, but I stepped back. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I thought it was the only way to keep you safe from Viktor. He’s more dangerous than you realize.”
“Safe?” I scoffed. “I was lost, alone, and terrified. You had no right to make that decision for me.”
Nik sighed, rubbing his face. “I was trying to navigate this predicament without getting us both killed. But you’re right, I should have been there for you. I’m sorry, Ana. Truly.”
I crossed my arms, glaring at him. “Sorry isn’t good enough. How about you start by explaining why you didn’t come and visit me on our birthday like you always have in the past? Or why you didn’t come to the hospital when you found out about the accident? Oh, and how about at the arraignment, when you stepped right in front of me, refusing to move?” I snapped, still high on adrenaline.
Nik grabbed my face in his palms, his touch rough but familiar. “Ana, you think I’d miss our birthday on purpose? You know I’d show up unless I absolutely couldn’t.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“I arrived in Tacoma to take care of some business before flying out to New York. Just as I was about to board, the FBI picked me up. They hauled me down to the police station and held me for questioning in relation to Volkovi Notchi activity.”
My heart pounded at the mention of our father’s crime syndicate. “How long did they keep you?”
“Overnight. I got out the next day and tried to call you, but you never answered.”
He dropped his hands and stepped back, his expression tightening. “I tried, Ana. I tried a bunch of times. When I finally made it out to the estate, it was swarming with cops. Some crazy woman had broken in.”
I folded my arms defensively and fixed him with an icy glare. “Funny. You know good and well that woman was me. I had no idea the house had been raided six months ago. And with your disappearing act, what was I supposed to do—sit on my hands? Of course not. So I came to find you as fast as I could get here. I was shocked to find the house in such disrepair and wrapped in police tape. Someone’s always been here when I arrived, but not this time, so I had no choice but to let myself in. Then, out of nowhere, there were police sirens, and I knew I’d triggered an alarm. You had vanished, and I had no plausible explanation to give the police for why I would break into the house—that is, unless I linked myself to our father, and we both know how disastrous that would have been.” My gaze dropped to my toes and then shot back up as my shoulders sank. “I’ll admit, I got nervous, panicked, and ran because I didn’t want to blow my cover.”
Nik rolled his eyes. “And we both know how that ended,” he said, his voice rising. “You took a car and wrapped it around a tree. You nearly killed yourself, Anastasia. Do you realize how lucky you are to be alive? How could you be so rash?”
“Rash?” I yelled. “The wreck wasn’t my idea of fun, Nik! Nor were the weeks since then. I had amnesia, and not one single person came to look for me, to help me. I was a destitute Jane Doe. Thank God for good people like Samantha Sheridan and the Thorin brothers, who helped me not only because it was their obligation as medical professionals, but also because they are genuinely kind people. Without them, who knows where I’d be?! And you had better believe I’ll do everything I can to protect them from Father.”
He scoffed, his gaze hardening. “You realize that those same people nearly toppled our entire family. You’re talking about loyalty to strangers who’ve been working with authorities to bring down the Volkovi Notchi. Don’t forget where your loyalty lies, Ana. Keep in mind who puts food on your table and keeps you breathing. You can’t make friends with enemies like the Thorin brothers.”
His words ignited a fire within me, and I couldn’t hold back. “So, I should just be a good little mafia princess, huh? Keep quiet and know my place?” I shoved past him, stomping toward the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator. Its cool interior was a brief respite. I grabbed a bottle of water, the plastic crinkling loudly in my grip.
“Exactly, Ana. Keep your head down so someone doesn’t take it off!” Nik called out from behind me.
I turned, water bottle in hand, my anger coiling in my gut. “And what? I should just forget that they cared for me when you didn’t?” I unscrewed the cap, my movements jerky with pent-up frustration.
Nik leaned against the doorway, his eyes shadowed, jaw clenched. “It’s not that simple, and you know it. We were born into this life, Anastasia. It’s not about what we want; it’s about survival.”
“But at what cost, Nik? At what cost?” I asked quietly, my voice breaking. I took a long gulp of water, but the cool liquid did little to quench the dryness of my throat. Fury boiled up inside me, and I hurled the bottle of water into the sink, making it explode all over the place. I grabbed a pan resting on the counter, spun around, and threw it at Nik’s head with all the rage I could muster. He deflected it effortlessly, a reminder of the lethal skills that made him so formidable.
As it clattered to the ground, he lunged forward, pinning my hands against the cool edge of the granite countertop. With his face inches from mine, he yelled, “You better start behaving, Ana!”
“Behave?” I screamed back, struggling against his iron grip. “If this wreck and losing my memory taught me anything, it’s that life’s too damn short to be miserable, to be traded among crime families like some kind of broodmare! I’m done with this mafia lifestyle, Nik. I want out. I’d rather be dead than live like this.”
“Shut the fuck up, Anastasia!” he growled. “You think you’ve had it rough? You’ve been given everything in life for free. I was left behind in Russia at the mercy of our father’s vicious hand and his every sick whim. How dare you complain?”
He leaned close again, his eyes blazing with anger. “How many men and women have you killed, Ana? How many bodies have you had to dispose of? How many times have you been beaten to within an inch of your life by not only our enemies but also by our own father?”
His questions stung. I took a deep breath, realizing how terrible Nik’s life had been since we were separated as children. Guilt flooded through me, and my rage dissipated. I stopped struggling as the reality of Nik’s life, the suffering he endured, sank in.
Nik’s body relaxed, his muscles easing as he sensed my resignation. He stepped back, releasing my hands. “Let’s go sit down in the living room and discuss everything like civilized people.”
Still frustrated but willing to listen, I wrapped my arms around myself and followed him out of the kitchen. My steps were stiff, each one heavy with the burden of our shared legacy.
As Nik and I entered the living room, I noticed the drastic changes. The decor was sharper, more masculine than I remembered from past visits. It had been stripped of the old, lavish embellishments.
“Looks like you’ve been busy,” I said.
Nik nodded, then moved further into the room. “Yeah, since Viktor was run out of Tacoma because of the incident last December, it was decided that I would take over his operations here. On our birthday, the FBI and police had just wrapped up their investigations, releasing it back to Viktor. What a coincidence, huh? He had his attorneys reorganize all his US assets, and I was here to oversee the deal. Since arriving a month ago, I’ve been doing lots of renovations so that it better fits my needs.”
Raising an eyebrow, I shot back, “Did you get the approval of the New York socialite who bought this place? Are you her lackey too?”
Nik chuckled, sinking into one of the new leather sofas, gesturing for me to join him. “You’ve got a sharp tongue, Ana. The woman who bought the estate is beautiful and smart. I’d do anything for her. She has my complete loyalty.”
Jealousy flared up inside me. “Who is she, Nik? And why would you or Viktor ever agree to sell the estate to her?”
Nik burst into laughter, which spiked my anger. Fidgeting, I reached under the collar of my shirt and pulled out my necklace, twisting it around my finger, waiting for him to stop.
He caught his breath and schooled his features. “The socialite is none other than you, Anastasia.”
I paused, processing his words. “Me?”
“Yes, you,” he said, his grin widening as he thoroughly enjoyed my confusion. “Viktor instructed his attorneys to transfer the estate and all his legal business assets into a trust with you as the sole beneficiary. Since you were raised by Aunt Elena and Luca Genovese—and you’re an American citizen with no ties to the Volkov family—you provided the perfect cover to divert the FBI’s attention. That’s why I had to make a stop in Tacoma before coming to see you in New York.”
I sank into the chair opposite him, my mind racing. “No wonder the owner refused to press charges against me for breaking in, stealing, and wrecking a car.” I chuckled. But the realization didn’t solve my bigger problem. “Nik, this is…well, I don’t know exactly how I feel about this, but I meant what I said before. I want no part of the mafia lifestyle.”
Nik’s smile faded a bit, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “But, Anastasia, we can’t just choose to say no to all of this. You don’t have the option of walking away from this family, let alone the Genoveses. And soon the Morettis, after you marry that goon.”
“I have to leave, Nik. I’ll never have a life if I’m forced to marry Frankie. We have to figure out how to get out from under it all.”
He ran a thumb across his lower lip and grimaced. “Ana, you don’t have a fucken clue what you’re asking for.”
“Then how about you enlighten me? Trust me, I’m sick and tired of being in the dark… You have no idea.”
Nik sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’d do anything for you, but what you’re asking for is nearly impossible. I’m not in a position to fight our father yet.”
The word yet hung between us, loaded with potential.
“Yet?” I prodded. “Have you been thinking of a way out?”
He had just opened his mouth to reply when his phone rang. Snatching it from the coffee table, he glanced at the screen, his expression turning solemn. “I have to take this, Ana.”
I stared at him, raising a questioning brow, but he held up a finger to his lips as he answered the call. My stomach twisted when I recognized the booming Russian voice on the other end. But before I could react, Nik shot me a brutal look, signaling me to stay quiet. It was Viktor. He was demanding an update on—me.
“She’s out of the hospital and made it through the arraignment,” Nik said, “but she’s not herself. She’s in a rehab center now and still has amnesia. She didn’t even recognize me at the arraignment.” His tone was laced with feigned frustration.
I listened, heart pounding, as Nik continued weaving his story. “The girl doesn’t know who the hell she is. There’s no way she can marry Frankie Moretti a week from now.”
Viktor’s voice roared back, loud enough for me to hear every venomous word. “I don’t care if the bitch can’t put two sentences together! She’s going to marry Frankie, and on time. I don’t care if that girl is a babbling idiot. You make that wedding happen.”
Nik’s jaw clenched. “I get it, but she’s a mess. How do you expect—”
“I said make it happen, Nikolai!” Viktor bellowed. “And those Thorin bastards, deal with them! I want them dead. No more delays!”
“Yes, sir.”
Viktor said slowly and ominously, “Figure it out and make the wedding happen. And if she’s of no value to the family, kill her.” With that, he hung up, leaving a heavy silence in the room.
I shuddered, the chill of his words slicing through my chest. It was one thing to have secondhand knowledge about the ruthlessness of my father, but hearing him speak of me so dismissively, so coldly—it cut deeper than I could have imagined.
I swallowed hard, the reality of my situation setting in. “Nik, I…I have to warn Conan, Atticus, Samantha, and Braxton. They’ve been nothing but kind to me, and now they’re in danger—because of me.”
Nik’s face tightened as his brow furrowed. “I’m sorry you heard all that, Ana. But that’s who Viktor is. He’s a merciless killer. But at least now you know he will stop at nothing to get what he wants.”
I nodded, my thoughts racing. The idea of bringing danger to those who had helped me was unbearable. “Sam and the Thorins need to know who I am—everything. Even if it means they’ll hate me afterward. I can’t let them get hurt. I’ve got to warn them.”
Nik leaned back into the sofa, his face shadowed with concern. “You’ve always been too kind for our world, Anastasia. It’s why I’ve done everything to keep you out of it.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “I can’t believe how na?ve I’ve been. All these years, I thought Mother and Father cared, at least in their own way.”
Nik’s eyes were full of sorrow. He seemed exhausted from the burden of a life spent living under the thumb of our father. Despite everything he had been through, Nik was still my brother, and we were in this together. “And you’ve been stuck dealing with him, all because he wants to keep me as a bargaining chip. It’s not fair to you either, Nik.”
Nik shook his head. “It’s been my life’s mission to keep you as far away from the family business as possible. Viktor has used the threat of involving you to keep me in line.”
My heart broke. My brother had borne so much to protect me. “Nik, I had no idea…”
He sighed, a rare vulnerability softening his features. “Walking in Viktor’s footsteps, constantly having to prove my loyalty…it’s exhausting. But what choice do I have? He’s not just our father; he’s a vicious killer to those who cross him.”
We were both trapped in this life, victims of a merciless family legacy.
Nik suggested we go fix some lunch, and I agreed, needing something to distract me from the heaviness of our conversation. He mentioned he could use a glass of vodka, which didn’t surprise me.
As we moved around the kitchen, prepping for a salad, Nik reached into the refrigerator for a bottle of Beluga Gold, then poured himself a generous glass. His movements were mechanical, the tension in his shoulders speaking volumes. He took a deep swig before putting a couple of pieces of chicken onto the pan to grill; the sizzle filling the silence between us.
“You ever hear the story about how you ended up in America, Ana?” Nik asked finally, his eyes not meeting mine as he pointed to a cucumber for me to slice.
I picked it up and shook my head, focusing on chopping. “Not really. Just bits and pieces.”
Nik washed and dried his hands before leaning against the counter, then took another slug of the vodka. “Viktor wanted to infiltrate the American Genovese family, because of their ties to the world’s most powerful politicians, and form an alliance they couldn’t deny. Valentina’s sister Elena secured a marriage to Luca Genovese and built his trust over the years. When Elena found out she couldn’t have kids, she and our mother came up with the idea of bringing you to America. You were put in an American boarding school, adopted by the Genoveses, and given a new name and an American passport. From the beginning, the plan was for you to marry into one of the other powerful American mafia families and establish a formidable alliance.”
“The marriage contract. That’s what it all comes down to,” I guessed, already dreading the answer.
“Exactly.” Nik nodded grimly. “Last year, Frankie Moretti surfaced as their ideal candidate. He isn’t exactly Mr. Popular, given his…let’s just say, less-than-attractive attributes. As you know, he’s not exactly sought after by the ladies, given his looks and personality. But he’s valuable as the Moretti’s bean counter. Plus, the Morettis are muscle, not masterminds.”
He poured more vodka, his hands steadier now. “With foreign mafias squeezing into New York, the big families felt the heat. Antonio Genovese, Luca’s brother and the boss of the family, agreed an alliance with the Morettis was necessary. A blood alliance between all the families would guarantee support from the powerful Volkov family, keeping other Russians from encroaching on New York turf. Your marriage to Frankie—merging Volkov blood with a Genovese name and potentially Moretti offspring—it’s like a damn mobster match made in heaven to them.”
My hand was trembling slightly. I put down the knife and looked at Nik. “So, I’m just a piece in their game. My life is completely inconsequential?” I asked, the bitterness in my voice sharper than the blade I had been using.
Nik met my gaze, his eyes somber. “No, hun. You’re the damn jackpot. I’m sorry, Ana. I tried to keep you out of it as much as I could. But yeah, that’s the grim truth. They’ve been planning this since we were kids.”
I glanced down, and my lip quivered. “And…a baby?”
The injustice of my situation was suffocating.
Nik took a sip of his vodka. “That’s the plan. To create the most powerful mafia organization ever.”
The thought of bringing a child into this life was horrifying. “I can’t do it, Nik. I won’t.”
With that declaration, I sliced through a fresh tomato with more force than necessary. He set down his glass and pulled on my arm so I was facing him.
“Ana, there’s something you need to understand about Viktor. He’s not just planning to use this marriage to bind the families. I overheard him a while back; he might be planning something…more drastic to eliminate the other bosses once you’re married to Frankie.”
I gasped, my heart racing. “What do you mean? He wants to kill the other bosses?”
Nik nodded. “I don’t know all the details, but it’s possible. Regardless, you’re the key to his plans. For now, it’s best if you just grin and bear the marriage to Frankie. Play along and keep your head down.”
The very idea made my stomach churn. “Why do I have to be at the center of his plot?” I complained, sounding like the kind of whiny brat I’d always hated.
Nik knocked back the rest of his vodka and poured us each a glass, his way of dealing with tough conversations. “Because you’re the perfect link between the Russian and American families, a tool he’s crafted since our childhood. But listen…” He leaned in closer, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I’m working on an exit strategy. Not just for me, but for you too.”
I perked up, hope flickering. “An exit? How?”
Nik glanced around before continuing. “I’ve picked up…certain skills over the years. I’ve been setting up some companies under the radar that Viktor and the others don’t know about. It’s risky, but it might just work to get us out.”
“But Viktor’s still powerful, Nik,” I argued, my voice trembling. “I’m done with the mafia. I can’t keep living this lie, becoming a monster like them.”
He reached out, grabbing my hand tightly. “I know, Ana. And I won’t let you live that life. I’m close to securing a safe house and a new identity for you. But for now, you need to do as they say and not cause any trouble. If you bolt, the families will hunt you down.”
“Fuck the arranged marriage,” I spat out, my spirit rebelling against the very idea of being traded like some whore.
Nik’s face hardened, a protective fierceness overcoming his features. “I’d rather die than see you hurt. But if you try to run, you’ll have the most powerful Russian and American mafia families after you. You won’t live a day. Just trust me a little longer. I won’t let anything happen to you. ”
I was sure he meant his words to be comforting, but all they did was remind me of the cage I was in. I wanted to believe him, but the stakes were too high. I couldn’t let Nik get killed trying to protect me. And I couldn’t ignore the danger Conan, Atticus, Braxton, and Samantha were in because of me either. I decided I would contact Samantha because I had her email address on the laptop. I would write to her and explain who I really was and tell her everything. Then she could pass on the message to the others. They needed to know the truth.
For the next couple of hours, Nik and I spent some time catching up. After we had eaten and cleaned up from lunch, he showed me around the estate, pointing out all the recent changes, especially the new security measures. “No one can get in or out without my say-so,” he said proudly.
As I listened, my mind raced with plans of my own. Nik never mentioned his side work again, but I held onto the hope that he was building a way out for us. In the meantime, I had to make sure the people I cared about were safe, both here and in New York.
I spent the afternoon in a haze, half-listening to Nik while I plotted my next move and helped him board up the window I’d broken. I was more determined than ever to take control of my fate. It was time to tell the Thorins everything and figure out a way to protect us all. Even though Nik insisted I stay with him and let him handle things, I wasn’t going to be able to do that.
I needed to warn Conan, Atticus, Braxton, and Samantha, and get back to the city.
When we were sitting once again in the living room, Nik’s phone buzzed. His eyes narrowed slightly as he listened to the caller on the other end. “Business,” he mouthed at me before stepping aside to talk .
“I have to head out for a few hours,” he announced after he hung up, the urgency in his voice poorly masked. “The house is secure, and if you need anything, just call me.”
“I lost my phone in the garage the day of the wreck. I’ll follow you down there on your way out and see if I can find it.”
Nik chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s right. I almost forgot. One of my guys found it. Let me get it for you.”
He disappeared for a moment and returned with my phone and the duffle bag I had brought from New York. I sighed in relief as I took the phone and bag, grateful to have some of my things back now that my memories were intact.
“You okay?” Nik asked. “You look really shaken up.” He pulled me into a hug, and I wrapped my arms tightly around him, trying to hold back my tears. I was about to leave, and I might never see him again. He noticed how emotional I was getting and gave me a protective squeeze.
“Don’t worry, Ana. We’ll figure this out.” Although his words were full of confidence, his voice held a note of doubt.
“I’m just tired, Nik,” I lied, pulling back slightly. “And still reeling from everything.”
“I’ll be back soon. Why don’t you chill? I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “See you in a few hours, little sis.” With that, he was out the door. He armed the security system on his way out, and I made sure to register the keypad code.
Once I was certain Nik had driven far enough away that he wouldn’t catch me leaving, I grabbed my duffle bag, backpack, and phone, then headed to the garage. Smugly, I punched in the security code on the door’s keypad. The thought that Viktor had transferred all the assets into my name lingered in my mind. The fact that I was the beneficiary of the trust he’d set up was a lot to process. But then again, his attorney was the trustee, so I knew he was really the one in control. Still, though, it made me feel better about taking one of the cars this time. Technically, I wasn’t stealing anything.
I climbed into the first vehicle I came to, once again finding the key in the glove box. As I drove out and shut the garage door with a push of a button, I contemplated my next move.
I grappled with my next steps. I couldn’t stay here in Tacoma, not with the danger looming over everyone I cared about.
At the end of the driveway, I paused, taking a minute to pull up the flight schedules on my newly reclaimed phone. I found one last flight from SEA to JFK that I could just make if I hurried.
At the airport, I parked in the garage, then ran inside and rushed through security, making it to my gate just in time. The gate agent was preparing to close the door to the jet bridge as I ran up but thankfully let me on anyway. I hurriedly made my way to my first-class cabin, welcoming the privacy it offered.
Once seated, I went to work drafting an email to Samantha. Hers was the only contact I had used on the laptop she’d given me. I considered giving Conan a quick call but hesitated, unsure if I could talk to him about everything just yet. There was so much I hadn’t processed or fully understood, and I didn’t want to make things worse. I didn’t want to pull Conan and the others further into the treacherous mafia world I belonged to. Hurting them was the last thing I wanted to do, but I needed a little time to figure out what to say and how best to protect them. Besides, after finding out who I really was, none of them should have anything to do with me—it was too dangerous. The truth of my identity was going to be a gut punch to all of them, and whatever was happening between Conan and me had been completely derailed. There was absolutely no chance that he would have any romantic interest in me once he discovered I was Viktor’s daughter, and I couldn’t bring myself to lie to him. He was too good of a guy, and he was the only person I’d ever had an honest connection with—no lies, no hidden agendas, no looming mafia obligations. The thought of Conan getting killed because of me made my blood run cold. It was best for him if I walked out of his life; he didn’t need all the baggage that came along with mine. Cutting ties was the safest option.
My fingers trembled as I typed. I poured out my heart, explaining the return of my memories, my true identity, and the imminent danger facing them all. I expressed my hatred for the mafia’s violent ways and my desperation to protect them. I told Samantha how I was bound by an arranged marriage—a mafia contract that could only be broken by death. It was the hardest thing I’d ever written, and my words were clumsy at best. How could you describe the ways of the mafia to a sane, rational outsider? To a woman who’d been kidnapped and nearly raped by my father! Leaving the people who had literally saved my life and who had liked and accepted me for who I was ripped my heart out. This was one of the worst days of my life, surpassed only by the day I was torn from Nikolai and everything I knew and sent to America.
With the email sent, I leaned back, letting out a shaky breath swatting away the tears I hadn’t realized were rolling down my cheeks. I tried to relax, but my mind was a chaotic mess of memories and worries. My thoughts wandered back to last night, one of the best nights of my life…the way Conan had touched me, how he drank in my every response, how he knew exactly how to set me at ease or ablaze. He was the best person who had ever walked into my life and the hardest to walk away from.