Chapter 20
“You look like the Christmas spirit came and died on your doorstep,” Chelle teased as she slid a slice of fruit cake off the plate Mother had laid on the dinner table.
She’d taken a call and went to the kitchen with the cordless phone, leaving them at the dinner table.
“I’m fine,” he said, dredging up a smile.
“I didn’t ask if you were. Something’s wrong when you’re giving me information I didn’t ask for.”
“Har, har.” He swallowed a mouthful of sorrel, then set the glass on the table.
“Seriously, though.” She touched his arm. “It’s good having you home. You’ve spent way too much time abroad.”
“It was for a purpose.”
“Mmm, and yet it hasn’t made your life better.”
“It would have, if …”
Supporting her cheek on one fist, she asked, “What are you doing about Christy? Are you going to try and get any of that money back?”
“Get your elbow off the table before Mother comes back.”
When she grinned and did what he suggested, he shook his head and continued, “There’s no point. I’ve written it off as a bad investment.”
“But what about the house?”
“Everything in life isn’t about money and things, Chelle.” He spun the glass on the table and glanced at the doorway. “The property is in my name, thank God, and at least she put down a foundation, so there’s that.”
“You’re really going to let her get away with this?”
Heat settled at the base of his neck, but he reminded himself Chelle’s only angle was concern for him. “Look, she is, was, whatever, the mother of my daughter, or so I thought.”
Chelle rolled her eyes. “But now she isn’t.”
“The truth is, I don’t care about the money. Not really.”
“Are you serious?” His sister sat back and narrowed her eyes. “Thanks to her, you’re starting over.”
“I know, but I’ve been thinking about the situation.” He shrugged. “It’s not going to make me any better off to harass Christy over what she’s done. She’ll have to live with that, plus the fact we now know officially, Natanya isn’t my child.”
“Yes, but—”
He held up one hand. “Meeting Lizette came at the right time. She’s the lady whose proposal I asked you to look at the other day.”
When she nodded, he added, “I can wallow in what Christy did to me and stay bitter, or think about what I want for the future.”
“That makes sense.” Leaning on the seat, she said, “I knew there was something special about her. Doing all that work for a friend didn’t make much sense. The truth is, life never stands still, and we have to pivot or be crushed by our circumstances.”
“There’s that.”
His heart was still crushed when he thought about how his life had changed.
One test result absolved him of responsibility for the child he still considered his daughter.
At the same time, it helped him see how he’d gotten caught in that situation.
His need to be needed led him to misplace his trust and stay in a relationship that wasn’t working.
Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember them exchanging more than casual endearments since Natanya’s birth.
Based on what he saw that day in the botanical garden, Christy had a stronger connection with the father of her child than she did with him.
He hadn’t seen Natanya since, and his heart ached, but he didn’t have a cure for that.
But he did have the antidote for what else was ailing him. If he chose to do something about it. He chewed the fruit cake slowly while his thoughts churned. How would Lizette react if he begged her to take him back? She’d been nothing but supportive, and he’d pushed her away to wallow in self-pity.
He’d avoided her at work, which was hard to do.
But she’d been missing in the last couple of days.
According to Emily, Lizette had taken a short trip and was expected to return this afternoon.
He’d been thinking about how to put things right, but wasn’t sure how to fix what he’d broken.
His thoughts had turned bitter, and he berated himself for something that wasn’t his fault—he’d gone from being a full-time father to a daycare dad.
In the process, he’d hurt the woman who made him believe love was possible again.
Once she realized where his head was at, Lizette pulled back from him and only spoke to him as necessary, which made sense. Added to that, he hadn’t gone to Wintertime’s Christmas party. He’d done more damage than he knew, trying to keep her at arm’s length.
How much longer he could keep working for her, he didn’t know, but that was another aspect of his life he needed to sort out.
The interview he’d attended came to nothing.
The salary wasn’t competitive, and the workload sounded overwhelming, but he had several prospects lined up for the new year.
Meantime, he still had amends to make. Major ones.
His heavy sigh coincided with his mother’s return to the table. “Is it okay to ask what’s on your mind?”
“Sure.” He pushed his chair back and rose. “There’s something I need to fix. Chelle, how much longer do you plan to be here?”
Twisting the end of her ponytail, she said, “Sometimes, I worry about you. I’m sure I said I’d be here all evening. We’re having a games night, remember?”
“I forgot. There’s something I need to do.” Running one hand down his chest, he said, “May I borrow your car? I should be back within an hour.”
Her eyes gleamed as she pointed toward the living room. “The keys are on the center table.”
On his way through the door, he grabbed them.
Inside the SUV, he adjusted the seat and prayed he’d get to Lizette’s place and back without too much hassle.
The last-minute shoppers always made the traffic thick as Christmas Eve drew closer.
As expected, the lines of vehicles were everywhere, but the delay gave him time to unravel his thoughts.
When he stood outside Lizette’s door, he had a sudden rush of doubt. Did he know what he was doing? She’d have a thing or two to say to him after his hot and cold behavior. He rapped on the door and waited, but nothing happened.
Maybe she missed her flight, or it was delayed. He leaned sideways to peer through the frosted glass to the side of the door and caught a moving shadow. As his airways tightened, he knocked again.
“Who is it?” Lizette asked.
“Shomari.”
She stood on the other side as though undecided, while he prayed she wouldn’t walk away and refuse to speak with him. A full minute passed before she opened the door.
He let out his breath in a huff when she turned the handle.
“Yes?”
His gaze went from the hair piled on top of her head to the T-shirt and sweatpants. Her toes peeked out from under the wide legs. The scent of something fruity—a combination of cucumber and melon—told him she’d showered recently. He took it all in while she moved from one foot to the other.
“Don’t tell me you came over here to stare at me?”
“Uh, no.” He licked his lip, then asked, “May I come in?”
Stepping aside, she waved him past her. “Have a seat.”
He did, and she sat opposite him on a large bamboo sofa, chock-full of cushions.
The tree that dominated one corner of her living room was as large as the one in her office.
Her living room was neat, furnished with bamboo chairs, side tables, a stereo system, and a television tethered to one wall.
His gaze strayed to the large paintings hanging on an adjacent wall.
All three were seascapes, each a continuation of the other.
They fascinated him the first time he visited, as they did now, but he forced his attention to her when she made a sound in her throat.
“How was your trip?”
She shrugged with one shoulder. “It was business. It went well.”
Now he was here, Shomari was tongue-tied and stared down at his clasped hands. “Um, about the last couple of weeks …”
She didn’t speak and waited as though she wasn’t the slightest bit interested in what he had to say.
“I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been acting. I’ve shut you out when you were only trying to help.” He sighed. “I didn’t want to be a burden.”
Lizette held her silence while focusing somewhere over his shoulder.
He was drowning in doubt, but continued, “I didn’t want to unload all of my problems on you …”
She continued staring past him the way she would have if she were alone in the room.
Frustrated, Shomari shifted his feet and settled both elbows on his thighs. “What started all of this is that just before I came home, I found out everything I’d been working for was non-existent.”
He explained the situation with Christy and couldn’t help his sharp intake of breath when Lizette asked, “Why are you telling me this?”
Hands open, he said, “I figured that if I wanted a chance with you, I’d have to share the root cause of my … issues.”
He frowned and stroked his beard. “I’m not gonna lie. I have a lot going on, but you were still prepared to let me into your life. The truth is, I didn’t know how to appreciate what you were offering.”
“What changed?” she asked, finally looking at him.
“You.” He cleared his throat. “You made the difference. Not only did you give a job to someone you didn’t know from Adam, but you cared enough to try and keep me from sliding into the hell of my own making.
“I admit, some of this is from my family situation.” He raised both hands. “But I’m making an effort. My relationship with my mom has improved. Chelle helped to make that happen. And you … you’ve taught me, just by being you, about the things that matter.”
“So, what are you saying?”
He blew out a long breath and leaned toward her. “I guess I’m begging you to take me back, if you can find space in your heart to deal with a man who’s learning to open himself to something new, different, and immensely valuable. That something being you. Me. Us.”
Lizette tapped her index fingers together for a while before raising her gaze to his.
“What you’ve shared could have happened to anyone.
You’ve been carrying around a cross of your own making.
Beating yourself up over someone else’s choices, instead of focusing on the here and now.
If I’m to let you back into my life, you can’t just flake out and go MIA the next time something goes wrong. ”
“I accept that, and I’m willing to try and do things differently. It’s just that the disaster with Christy, plus having to work for you, and then being interested in you … it was kinda hard to wrap my head around.”
“Trust me. I understand. I’ve had moments where I wondered if I knew what I was doing with you, but I came around and was willing to test the waters.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t looking for romance, but there’s something about you …”
A smile broke over her face. “I don’t fall easily, so you’d better come good if you expect to keep me happy.”
Hand to his chest, where his heart skipped to a joyful tune, he said, “All I ask is that you forgive me for being a fool. I’ll work on the rest one day at a time.”
He walked around the table and helped her to her feet.
After scanning her face, he dropped a soft kiss on her forehead.
She snuggled into his chest, and his arms closed around her.
With his next inhale, he prayed his faults wouldn’t get in the way of what could be the best thing that ever happened in his life.
In between pressing kisses from her cheek to her lips, he whispered, “Thank you.”
After a thorough kiss that left them both breathless and wanting more, she answered, “And thank you for being persistent because I was prepared to let you go.”
“For real?” he asked, as his heart dropped into his stomach.
“You weren’t ready for anything I was prepared to give you, so the wise thing was to take a hands-off approach. If you were meant for me, you’d follow your heart and find your way back.”
His throat clogged, and he warned himself not to give in to his emotions. Instead of listening to that advice, he pulled Lizette closer and spoke into her ear. “This will be the best Christmas I’ve had in years. Thank you.”
Giggling, she slid her arms around him. “Don’t thank me yet. Christmas around the Winters is not for the faint of heart.”
He chuckled, releasing the tension that still held him in its grip, and spun her around. She clung tightly to his arms and squealed. “Put me down, you silly man. You’re just as bad as the twins.”
Eyes closed, he kissed the spot where her neck met her shoulder and whispered. “This is just the tip of the iceberg. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m crazy about you.”
Cupping his face between her hands, her eyes shone as she said, “That makes two of us because I’m mad about you, too.”