Chapter 1 #2
‘Rubbish!’ replied Frankie, who wasn’t known for her diplomacy. ‘Of course he’s going to win! Anyway, he’s part of the family!’
Hannah nodded in agreement. It was true. As soon as Ben had brought his best friends Alex and Jake back from university to visit them after their graduation, both men had quickly become close to the Jackson family.
Two years older than Hannah, it was like having two extra older brothers.
But where Jake was flirty and fun, Alex was the quieter, dependable one.
From his personality, he was entirely suited to the steady life of an accountant.
And yet, somewhat to Hannah’s amazement, she found out that his free time was spent taking part in triathlons.
Since then, apart from work he always appeared to be training with his father and now he was aiming to reach the highest of goals in four months’ time.
Hannah looked across the lake to where Alex was out on his own at the front, still wearing the wetsuit, which showed off his athletic prowess.
There were many admiring females in the crowd nearby and Hannah knew that Alex always attracted women wherever he went, with his handsome face and incredible athletic body.
But she had always tried not to think of him like that.
He was just Alex, lovely, reliable Alex who was always so kind and generous to her.
All the men in her family had been supportive, especially with her struggles with dyslexia growing up. Ben had tried to shield her from any school bullies but, as wonderful as her big brother was, he couldn’t protect her from everyone.
From Sean, in particular.
He had been Hannah’s first and only serious relationship. She’d had dates before the age of twenty-one but had never fallen in love with anyone before then. Never felt that swimmy feeling in her stomach until she met Sean at work one day.
He had arrived in the position of deputy chef at the restaurant in London where she was a junior pastry chef.
As far as she was concerned, Sean had much more talent than she did and so she was flattered when he asked her out, amazed that he had even noticed her.
He was dark in both looks and personality, which reflected his skills in running the kitchen in strict style.
A lot of the other staff grumbled about him but Hannah had liked that he wasn’t too silly compared to the other men his age.
At the time she had been living with Lily in a shared house with their two other best friends, Beth and Ella.
But when Sean had asked her to move in with him, Hannah had jumped at the chance.
In love for the first time ever, Hannah had envisaged romantic meals for two, lazy Sunday mornings in bed and giggling in front of the television at the latest comedy series.
But Sean didn’t giggle, she began to realise as soon as she had moved in with him.
In fact, he barely smiled. When he did, it made her nervous.
As if he was testing her to find out whether she was telling the truth.
He would deliberately pick fights and escalate arguments for no reason.
Then she would be accused of deliberately making him cross.
Over and over again, it was a familiar story that ran all the time.
Before she knew it, Hannah was trapped in a spiral of anxiety, dread and fear.
The lack of trust he had in her was also wearing.
He would repeatedly ask Hannah where she had been, whom she had spoken with.
It was exhausting, draining and sometimes made her even question herself.
But with so little dating experience, she wondered if perhaps Sean was right?
Maybe it was all her fault that he shouldn’t trust her.
Only seeing her friends and family intermittently had made Hannah question whether he might be the one at fault instead of her.
They gently probed her about her sudden weight loss and haggard expression but she was able to put them off by lying that her change in appearance was only from working too hard in the restaurant.
She struggled on for a whole year, trying to hide her unhappiness from her friends and family, hoping that time would soothe her fears.
She continued to forgive him even when Sean had ruined her own birthday dinner with another tantrum but made it up to her with a ring that he made her wear on her engagement finger, even though he hadn’t proposed.
He never took any blame, never saw any fault with his own behaviour, only hers.
She had never felt more alone and began to withdraw into herself.
Eventually something had to give. It was only when he had lashed out one night over a spilt drink, pushing her over and accidentally breaking the necklace that Hannah had been wearing.
It was her favourite piece of jewellery, a simple silver star pendant that Beth had given her three best friends at the end of their two-year tenancy in the London flat.
It was a lovely necklace but more important had been the promise when the gift was given that the four friends would always look out for each other wherever they were in the world.
Sean had grabbed the necklace from the floor and thrown it into the kitchen bin, causing Hannah to cry. Then he had held her close, telling her that it was her fault that she had made him cross but he forgave her, like always.
It had been an escalation in his wretched behaviour, the first time that he had ever attacked her physically. Hannah decided in that moment, as he held her close, that it would be the last time as well. She was frightened as to what Sean might do next.
In the end, unable to sleep, she crept downstairs and retrieved the necklace from the rubbish bin.
She cried as she clutched it in her hand, willing herself to feel the love from her friends and knowing that they would support her whatever the situation.
Feeding from the strength they always gave her, she hid the necklace under a cushion for safekeeping until the morning.
Then, after Sean had left for work, she retrieved the pendant, quickly packed up her belongings and rushed back to Maple Tree Lodge, leaving both his ring and the relationship far behind her. She had remained living at home ever since.
She had received frantic phone calls and texts from Sean when he realised that Hannah had finally broken free of him. Too scared to talk to him in case he somehow talked her into meeting up, in the end she had blocked the number and tried to move on with her life.
She had told the family and her friends that the relationship had ended amicably, despite their concerns about the tears that she couldn’t suppress in those early days.
But Sean had been clever with his gaslighting, all the bullying had been behind closed doors, never in front of anyone else.
She lied when she told everyone that she wasn’t upset because it had only been a casual thing for her and Sean.
Not the gut-wrenching love that she thought she had felt for him.
She knew now that it hadn’t been true love, of course.
Love wasn’t cruel like that. Love didn’t frighten or abuse.
Love was what she had with her family, support, a cocoon away from the world.
She was embarrassed that she had been taken in by him, that he had turned out to be just another bully.
Already battling with a high-handed chef at her job, Sean had promised to protect her but instead he had been the biggest bully of them all.
Still hurting, Hannah hid herself away from the world, reluctant to even go out and socialise in those early months and years. She took menial jobs, such as stacking shelves in the local town supermarket where there were many people about and she felt relatively safe.
The family, along with her best friends Lily, Beth and Ella, had tried to gently prise her away from her home and get her back out into the outside world.
‘You’re such an amazing baker,’ they would often tell her. ‘You should do that for a living.’
But Hannah didn’t believe them. She knew that she was OK and that her cakes were edible enough. But was she good enough to be a baker full time? Of course not. It was a ridiculous idea.
So she continued, reluctantly at their urging in recent months, to make cakes and biscuits for the hotel guests and carried on working as a waitress to bring in some extra money.
Now that the hotel was turning a profit, however, her role had changed to include helping out with breakfast and even making desserts for dinner to help out their part-time chef Jason, who had taken over the weekend dinner service from their mum.
In the early days of the hotel’s success, Ben had tried to urge Hannah to take over the dinner service instead of hiring an outside chef. But Hannah continued to decline his request, telling him that she wasn’t good enough to be trusted with such responsibility.
‘Come on, Alex!’ urged Ben once more.
Hannah smiled at her elder brother. The complete opposite of her, Ben had never lacked confidence.
Academically he had excelled, gaining good grades before becoming a gifted architect.
He had given all that up when their father had passed away and, despite the stresses of the early days of the business, even the hotel was relatively successful now as well.
Successful in love too now that he was with Lily.
They appeared to be in blissful harmony as they ran the hotel together.
She knew things were still tight for the hotel in the tricky world of hospitality but Ben had always been likely to succeed where Hannah had so often struggled.
Only the kitchen was her safe zone. It was where her mum was often to be found, making breakfasts for the guests.
It was where her family gathered for meals.
They were her strength, despite being one fewer around the table these days.
She missed her dad terribly but it still felt as if she were connected to him being at home.
Baking was her go-to stress buster. She loved it. The flavours, the feeling of the cake batters and pastry that she made. It was the only time that she felt full of confidence.
‘Coo, ain’t this exciting?’ said a familiar voice.
Hannah spun around to find that Frankie’s godson Del had joined them.
Del was the local coach and taxi driver, a nice guy who was always trying to be helpful around the local villages.
It was just that his dubious ideas to help out his friends and himself had earned him the nickname Dodgy Del a long time ago.
Trouble followed Del everywhere he went, despite his generous nature.
Although this time he appeared to have company with him, in the form of a plump black puppy.
‘Del!’ cooed Hannah, reaching out to stroke the young dog pulling at the lead beside him. ‘You have a puppy!’
‘Not mine,’ he said, with a grimace. ‘Tiny belongs to my old nan.’
‘Is Gracie with you?’ asked Faye, also stroking the soft black fur before looking around.
‘Nah. She’s worn out, bless her,’ Del told them. ‘I told her that a puppy would be too much for her. I don’t know why she got him in the first place. Here, you can take him if you want. My arm’s gone to sleep. He’s quite strong.’
He immediately placed the end of the lead into Hannah’s hand. She tried to relish holding the dog next to her but Tiny appeared to have other ideas and began to wriggle, desperate to stretch his legs.
‘Keep an eye on him, would you?’ said Del, glancing at his phone. ‘I’ve got to take this call.’
Hannah looked up as Alex came around the corner, smiling and nodding at all the applause as he came home way ahead of everyone else to claim first prize, the competition trailing him by some yards.
She was so pleased that he would win. How wonderful it would be to be that successful and happy in life, she thought wistfully.
Despite having run hard, he made it look as effortless as always.
Alex caught her eye for a moment as he ran towards them and gave her wink.
She was so distracted at his wide smile that she didn’t notice a couple of ducks sliding into a landing in the shallows of the lake on the other side of the track. But Tiny did.
Suddenly the lead was yanked in her hand and Tiny was off like a rocket, charging across the mud towards the water.
Desperately trying to hold on to the lead, Hannah was amazed at the dog’s strength, despite his young age. Having no choice but to trail after him at a run, she found herself in the path of Alex, whose run had faltered as he headed towards the ribbon strung across the track for the finishing line.
Alex tried to dodge out of the way and was desperately trying to avoid them. Hannah thought that she had just about got away with it when Tiny became distracted at another dog’s barking and abruptly changed course, almost doubling back on himself.
Hannah, still desperately hanging on to the lead, found herself heading back directly towards Alex and this time there was no chance to avoid him.
She hit him at speed with a clatter and she heard him cry out as they both went down onto the ground in a crumpled heap. Meanwhile Tiny had run off, the lead trailing behind him as he went, barking in happy delight as he wreaked havoc in the shallows of the lake.
To her horror, Hannah then saw a small group of athletes run past them as they lay sprawled on the ground. It appeared that Alex’s hopes of winning the inaugural Dragonfly Lake Triathlon were well and truly over.