Chapter 24
Alex found that he was grateful in the coming days for the distraction of helping Hannah with the paperwork for the café.
He was still suffering with some stiffness and swelling in his foot which the doctors had said could still take a few months to recede.
However, spending time resting in the boathouse apartment was helping.
He was enjoying waking up in the mornings to the view of the lake and found himself taking his time to relish a lie-in to stare out of the window at the glistening water.
But where his body was slowly starting to mend, it was his mind that couldn’t quite cope with doing nothing but rest every day.
Tiny helped as a distraction, purely because he had had no training up until that point. But he seemed an intelligent and well-behaved dog, despite his lack of training, and so even that didn’t take up too much of Alex’s daily routine.
Each day, he began to walk without the protective boot on his foot, starting with a small distance to begin a gradual increase in weight bearing on the broken bones.
Normally just heading to the beach for his morning swim and then back again was enough before the pain increased and he didn’t want to push himself too soon.
For the remainder of the day, he used the boot and tried to keep busy.
If he rested for too long, he found that his mind ran through everything, every competition that he hadn’t won, every missed opportunity.
So he was glad to concentrate on the health and safety forms that Hannah struggled to complete, as well as the stock orders.
He knew that she was still embarrassed about the over-ordering of the napkins but Alex had arranged for half to be returned or sold on to other nearby establishments that could use them so they weren’t out of pocket.
‘Thank you for sorting it all out,’ she said once more as she sat opposite him on the balcony one afternoon after setting out the new weatherproof wooden chairs and tables.
‘You’re welcome,’ he replied. ‘So are you looking forward to glasses and cutlery arriving tomorrow?’
She nodded, looking inside briefly before grimacing. ‘Excited and terrified,’ she admitted.
‘You sound like Tiny when he sees a duck,’ he said, trying to cheer her up.
He was pleased when she laughed, reaching down to stroke the dog who was growing by the day. Tiny was currently sprawled under the table and taking up most of the room. He seemed to be growing in both length and width and was certainly going to be an enormous dog, thought Alex.
He looked up to find Hannah studying him.
‘You look tired,’ she said. ‘Are you in pain?’
‘And there was me thinking I was hiding it so well,’ he told her, with a soft smile.
‘Look, why don’t I take Tiny around the lake this afternoon to wear him out whilst you rest up?’ she said, standing up. ‘What do you think, Tiny? Shall we go for a walk?’
He immediately sprang up, yelping his bark in glee at his second favourite word after ‘treat’.
‘I should join you,’ said Alex immediately.
But Hannah shook his head. ‘Nope. You’re going to rest,’ she told him, in a firm voice.
But as she turned to leave, Alex found himself wishing that he had joined her. Soon he would be better, he promised himself. And perhaps when he felt more like himself, he might work up the courage to ask her out, hoping that she might have changed her mind about their kiss after all.
As he watched Hannah and Tiny head through the empty café interior, Alex spotted someone coming through the open front door of the café. He was shocked to see his father exchange a few words with Hannah before heading towards him.
His dad walked out onto the balcony and they looked at each other for a moment.
‘Hi,’ said Alex, sitting up a little straighter in the chair.
‘The lady on the hotel reception said you were in here,’ said his dad, before sweeping his eye over the foot which was resting on a chair. ‘How are you?’
‘Fine, thanks, Dad,’ said Alex, bringing the foot down automatically onto the floor, feeling slightly ashamed of the injury and how it had occurred. ‘I didn’t know you had plans to visit.’
‘Seeing as you’re still hiding out here, I didn’t have a choice,’ said his dad, sitting down opposite him.
Alex caught the word ‘hiding’ but decided to ignore it. ‘How’s Mum?’ he asked.
‘You can see for yourself when you come home with me this afternoon,’ replied his dad.
Alex gave a start. ‘What are you talking about?’ he asked, shocked.
‘Are you done licking your wounds?’ His dad looked impatient. ‘It’s been a fortnight.’
‘A fortnight of pain and frustration,’ Alex reminded him.
‘Well, that’ll be over before you know it. And then we can move on.’
Alex was startled. ‘Move on?’ he repeated.
His dad nodded. ‘You know, the mark of a great athlete is to pick themselves up after failure. So I still reckon next year’s Olympic Games should be our next goal.’
Alex was aghast. He had bared his soul to his parents two weeks ago and his dad had dismissed everything that he had told him.
Feeling cross, he shook his head. ‘No,’ he found himself saying.
His dad looked at him in surprise. ‘What did you say?’
Alex took a deep breath. ‘I said no, Dad. I meant what I said a couple of weeks ago.’
‘No to what?’ His dad looked frustrated. ‘It’ll take extra training, of course, to get your fitness levels back after so much time off but I reckon…’
But Alex didn’t let him finish. ‘I mean no to all of it.’ He sighed. ‘I’m done, Dad. Finished.’
His dad still looked confused. ‘Look, we all get knock backs, son,’ he began to say.
‘It’s not about that,’ Alex told him. ‘I don’t want to do it any more. The endless competitions, the training, the travelling. I’ve really had enough.’
His dad looked irritated. ‘I suppose this is the influence of your so-called friends here, is it?’
‘They’re actually my best friends,’ Alex told him in defence. ‘But yes, they support me which makes a nice change, to be honest.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘I mean that when I told them I wanted a life away from competing, they listened to me and wanted to help,’ said Alex.
‘So you’re working here, are you?’ asked his dad, frowning.
Alex shook his head. ‘No, but they’ve invited me to stay for the summer and that’s what I want to do. I may not have a job but I have a life here. With people who don’t care about winning every second of every day. They like me for what I am. I just wish you felt the same way.’
The silence stretched out so Alex forced himself to carry on speaking the words that he’d carried inside for so long.
‘Thank you for all you’ve done for me. The sacrifices and the training, I mean.
I’ve tried my best to live up to your ideals but I have nothing more to give.
I love you, Dad, but I want to be your son again, not your gold-medal project to live vicariously through me.
’ Alex gulped. ‘Please respect my wishes. I’m ready for a new chapter in my life. I can’t do it any more. I’m out.’
His dad looked at him. ‘I see,’ he said finally with a sigh as he stood up. ‘Well, there’s nothing left for me here then.’
‘I’m here, Dad,’ said Alex, feeling hurt.
He had always wanted to be closer to his dad, not feeling like a project but a son.
His dad hesitated before giving him a small nod. ‘Yes. Well, I’d better get back in any case,’ he said. ‘Take care of yourself.’
After an awkward goodbye, his dad walked away.
Alex leaned back in his chair and puffed out a long sigh.
It was over at last. Who had he been competing for all this time? Had it been for himself or his obsessive father?
The truth was that he had never truly wanted it. Deep down. All he had wanted was to be close to his dad. And that had only been available to him through practice and the competitions. Something they could share.
Without that, was there a chance that they could have a relationship?
He hoped so. But he felt the tears pricking his eyes as his dad left the boathouse, feeling lower than he had ever imagined.