36 #3
“I fucked up,” he said. “I know that. Christ, Lila, I know that. But damn it, I love you so fuckin’ much and it’s killin’ me that we’re not together.
That we lost so many years because I couldn’t see a better way.
Because I was a dumb kid who didn’t know how to fix a problem and the only solution I saw was to run.
” His expression broke open in a way he rarely allowed.
“I wasn’t tryin’ to hurt you. I was tryin’ to keep you safe because I loved you so damn much. ”
My throat tightened until it hurt. Love did not erase seventeen years. It did not hand back the choices he had made for me, or repair the time neither of us could recover. I knew all of that.
I also knew what it did to me when Jackson looked at me like this.
Whatever he saw on my face stripped the last of his restraint. He kissed me.
His mouth came down on mine hard, hungry, with none of the patience he had been forcing on himself since he came back into my life. A sound escaped me before I could stop it, and my hands landed against his chest as if I meant to push him away.
Instead, I grabbed his shirt.
He made a rough sound and pulled me closer by the hips.
Heat swallowed the wall at my back, the years between us, the anger I had carried so carefully.
My arms went around his neck. His hand spread over my lower back, and the kiss deepened into something achingly familiar, my body remembering him with an ease that felt almost unfair.
When he finally pulled away, we were both breathing too hard. His forehead hovered close to mine when he said, voice wrecked, “I know that doesn’t solve shit.”
It didn’t. The fact that he knew that mattered more than I wanted it to.
He searched my face. “I know we got a lot to work on. But you are mine, Princess. And I’m yours.” His thumb dragged once over my lip. “That means you are not alone. Got it?”
Every reasonable answer I had seemed to vanish under the weight of being seen, wanted, and claimed by the one man I had never entirely stopped loving.
I nodded. “Got it,” I whispered.
His eyes closed for the briefest second. When they opened again, he kissed the corner of my mouth and stepped back just enough to give me room.
“Good,” he said. “Let’s get back in there.”
I pushed away from the wall before my legs could embarrass me further. Jackson held the back door open for me, which somehow made the whole thing worse.
We returned to Ink’s bay to find Blue’s tattoo was finished and he was wrapping her wrist while giving aftercare instructions. Blue looked up, took one glance at my face, and immediately smirked.
I considered violence.
Jackson, naturally, made everything worse. As he turned to leave, he slapped my ass and said loudly, “And we’re definitely havin’ a talk about that coffee date.”
My head whipped around. “Jackson!”
He was already gone. The coward.
Blue bit her lip. I glared at her. “Don’t.”
That only made her shoulders shake harder.
Footsteps sounded in the hall before she could say anything. Evan drifted back into the room wearing a smile big enough to be illegal, with Garrett right behind him and looking far too pleased with himself.
Blue and I both turned. Garrett paused in the doorway, reached up to brace his arms along the frame, and said, easy as anything, “So I’ll pick you up Saturday around seven?”
Evan touched two fingers to his chest. “You may. And if you stand me up, I will haunt you in ways your ancestors will feel.”
Garrett laughed. “Noted.”
Ink’s head came up from where he was writing Blue’s care instructions. Slowly.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
Evan turned toward him with vicious sweetness. “This beefcake asked me out.”
Garrett lowered his arms and leaned against the doorway, amusement written all over him. He looked entirely too entertained by Ink’s reaction.
Evan let the pause sit just long enough to make it worse. “And because I am a generous spirit with excellent taste,” Evan added, “I said yes.”
Blue made a strangled sound into her hand. I didn’t bother hiding mine.
Ink stared at Evan for one long second, then turned and walked back toward his room without a word. A second later, something crashed against the wall.
Evan blinked. “That seems stable.”
Blue lost it, and I laughed with her, though the sound came out breathless around the edges. Jackson’s kiss still burned on my mouth. Jude’s name still sat like a stone in my stomach. Somehow Evan had managed to collect a date in the middle of all of it.
The whole day felt unhinged.
Blue admired the wrap on her wrist while Evan preened and Garrett lingered in the doorway like chaos was a language he spoke fluently. My thoughts kept slipping back to Jackson, then to Jude, and to the very different ways each man had managed to get under my skin.
I had no idea what Jackson planned to do about Jude. That should have worried me more than it did.
What worried me instead was how easily he had taken my discomfort and made it his concern too, how natural it had felt to stand against that wall while he told me I didn’t have to carry everything by myself anymore. The kiss had been dangerous enough, but believing him might be worse.