Chapter Four #2
Most didn't play with their half-brother. Of course, neither would say it out loud. “Hmm. To me, your cock was special.”
“I’m sure it was.”
Lumi inched closer. “You see, even though I’m the whore, every time I get someone’s dick, I feel like I own them.
I’m not particularly special even if I can handle it quite rough.
There are other pretty fairies who can deepthroat and get aroused when they're tied on someone’s sitting room floor while playing interrogation. ”
Prince Jaki’s blank eyes held his.
Lumi brought his face quite close. “They still want me. They get to a point where all they can think of is putting their cock in me, and when they do, I own them in a way. No matter how much I want to be fucked and owned, they also needed me. They’re completely enthralled by what they want to do to me, and they can't stop. I made them like that.”
Prince Jaki’s fangs showed as he smiled. “You don’t own me.”
“For a few moments, I did while you made me do whatever you wanted. And you owned me.”
“Mm.” Prince Jaki gripped Lumi’s left shoulder. “Don’t bring your heat on.”
Lumi kept his face composed. Were they about to have another torture session without his heat to make it more bearable?
The Prince pushed him into the window. The back of Lumi’s head bumped the cold glass as the Prince pressed his body to his and pinned him. Even with all of the layers between them, his warmth touched Lumi. He didn’t push his heat, but he couldn’t help it when his cock started to thicken.
The Prince shoved his knee between Lumi’s thighs and brought it up. His slim, warm fingers burrowed underneath the layers to touch bare skin. Up they went, wrinkling Lumi’s coat and shirt until they found his nipple. Lumi imagined the Prince running his tongue across them, and his cock throbbed.
“You said you’d give me anything I want, right?” asked Prince Jaki.
“Yes.” Despite the reaction ground into Lumi for years and years, he couldn’t help the twisting in his guts.
Prince Jaki gripped his chin with his free hand.
“Let me fuck you like this. Don’t use your heat.
Let me oil and stretch you myself. I want all of your pleasure to come solely from me, not the heat.
I want the full experience of getting you entirely ready with my fingers and my tongue.
” His breath tickled Lumi’s chin as he raised his knee a little more.
“And then, I want to make you cum on my cock.”
He might as well have asked for Lumi to stick his head in a snow bear’s mouth.
His heart thudded as the Prince reached between his legs to grip his cock, and for a moment, he wasn’t in the tower.
The touch was all pain, and the other person he thought he knew wasn’t the same.
He had changed just like everything else including Lumi. His pulse pounded in his ears.
Prince Jaki’s hand cupping his cheek snapped him back, and he realized he’d let the facade fall. His breath came in short gasps as his mind reeled and tried to figure out how to salvage things.
Prince Jaki slid his knee back down. “You can’t fuck me without the heat?”
“I’ll do it.” Too late, Lumi realized his voice was a bit too high, and his smile was all wrong. Dear Elira, he couldn’t do it.
“No, you won’t.”
“I’m hard, aren’t I? Clearly, I want you.” Lumi’s voice was still too rough, and his smile was brittle. Worse, he knew the Prince had to be feeling the slight tremble in his limbs.
“You haven’t fucked anyone here without your heat, have you?” asked Prince Jaki. “You can flirt and touch, but once you know the main deed is going to happen in any form, you push it, and I bet you can’t imagine any other way.”
The lie and the truth hovered on Lumi’s lips, but he couldn’t force out either one. He felt like a madman scrambling to snatch dropped items while other things he’d picked up fell back to the floor. He needed the facade to hide behind so he could fix his blunder.
“Getting hard doesn’t mean you truly want it, but maybe we could both have some things we want.” Prince Jaki rubbed his thumb along Lumi’s jaw as they held eye contact. “You could have safety with me. No one will touch you in that way, including me, and I’ll make sure you’re protected.”
If he admitted the truth, Prince Jaki would shield him? No threats of prison or the noose for the treason he’d committed?
“You could have those things with me, and no one will be able to reach you here.” The Prince hovered his lips above Lumi’s cheek. “If you want that, come to my room tonight. If not…”
He paused, and the unspoken words hung in the air. He wasn’t going to give Lumi much more time, and he was offering far more than he’d ever expected or deserved. Lumi’s eyes stung as the Prince turned without another word or glance and headed to the stairs.
Bit by bit, he disappeared as he took the steps down.
Lumi remained rigid by the window as he imagined doing as the Prince said.
He could go there tonight, admit everything, and beg for his protection.
It was hard to tell how much the Prince knew, and he was trying to spare the half-brother he secretly lusted after.
But what if Lumi still wasn’t safe with him?
If he ever got a hold of Lumi again…He had to return to him because no other option existed.
And he would find a way to get Lumi back and punish him for being a traitor if he dared to seek safety with Prince Jaki.
Nobody had saved him before, and no one could now.
He’d learned to release that foolish hope years ago.
Prince Jaki probably couldn’t shield him for long, and the King wouldn’t believe it if Lumi explained why he'd come. Lumi didn’t want to die in a lot of ways, but he particularly didn’t want to die at that court. His life started there, and it shouldn’t end there.
He turned to face the glass and rested his forehead against it as he willed the cold on his skin to freeze all of the pieces back into place.
Why couldn’t he have gotten the one thing he’d wanted and enjoyed it for a bit more?
He was supposed to have another year. He focused on deep breaths while he stared outside.
The Castle grounds, the roofs, and the walls were dusted in snow like usual.
Paths and the walkway of the wall were shoveled daily in a never-ending battle against the eternal winter.
A cart came toward the gate which slowly rose to admit it.
It was probably stuffed with the best and biggest vegetables scrounged from various farms or imported from other Kingdoms. Or perhaps it held smoked meats.
Meanwhile, in the city, the people paid more money for smaller vegetables and poor-quality food because it was too expensive for a shop owner to import everything from elsewhere.
Lumi had gone walking in Havaska not too long ago.
Every time he went, it seemed to grow worse, and he was surprised that so many held on there, unwilling to leave home.
While the court glittered and gleamed, and he could have a glass of wine and a meal at any time, the common citizens struggled.
Every year, the greenhouses put out less and less.
Herds of wild and domesticated animals thinned.
More stillbirths happened. The living animals didn’t fatten up like they used to.
Meat grew more expensive. The taverns served weaker ale.
Even those who supplemented their food with personal plots in little glasshouses had less to eat. The soil they dug up from certain areas wasn’t growing much, and even though they had soil transported in, it wasn’t working.
He almost could have laughed at the fact that they had literally bought dirt.
The very land was dying, and it turned out that adding dirt from another Kingdom wasn’t going to solve the problem.
The only thing that could aid them now was to buy grains, meat, and such from other countries, but the King couldn’t feed the whole country.
Feeding everyone would drain the treasury in a snap, and they’d be in the same pinch.
If they owned East Forest and its abundance like Reesing had intended, it would've been different.
The court still tried to pretend it wasn’t happening. The only other option at the moment was to get up and leave for good. Living elsewhere meant being a commoner. Except for Lumi who couldn’t leave Iceland.
He rammed in the last few scattered pieces of his brain and straightened up while his heart thudded.
His carefully crafted image was weak, but he was sure he could get through a final evening.
Just like in the past three years, he could not dare to think of what the future held.
He was as free as he’d ever be, and he needed to enjoy it now.
It was all that existed as the minutes trickled away.
***
Since he’d be gone soon, he figured he’d use up his last two trick beans. They jiggled with energy in his pocket until he asked a lady what was behind her ear. With one palmed, he let the energy go.
The lady giggled and gushed when he pretended to pluck a magnolia from behind her ear.
He held the last bean behind his back and let it sprout into another when he approached the Prince at the High Table. Surprise flickered in Prince Jaki’s eyes as though he’d expected Lumi to ignore him and stay away after earlier.
Lumi hadn’t remained alive through stupidity.
“I tried to find a better flower.” Lumi slid into his lap and tucked the magnolia behind the Prince’s ear. “It still pales compared to you.”
“With the way he talks, you’d think he has to butter us up and work for cock here.” King Elswere snorted and downed his glass.
Lumi caught a whiff of honey whiskey. “I should put in effort to get what I like.”
Prince Jaki let out the barest of sighs and lifted his hand slightly with only his thumb tucked.
That likely meant the King had been through four glasses.
While Lumi was more concerned with keeping up his crafted act and lies, the Prince must have been terribly tired of the King’s drinking while he tried to figure out whatever.
He certainly didn’t need a parent to take care of him anymore, but watching the King get drunk most nights couldn’t have been entertaining.
Lumi looped his arms around the Prince and leaned in. “Hmmm. Magnolia and lavender.” He brought his face closer to the Prince’s neck. “Maybe I’ll make things better tonight.”
“In what way?”
“I can use more than my ass.” Lumi let his tongue flick out to lick his neck. “Maybe I’ll let you in on all my little secrets.”
It was surely the neck lick that had the Prince’s cock thickening under Lumi’s ass. “We’ll see.”
Elswere stood and bumped the table in his drunkenness. Lumi slid off the Prince’s lap and quickly looped his arm in Elswere’s to steady him.
“You can stay here, Lumi. I’m tired tonight.”
“Oh, let me have a few more minutes with my favorite.”
“You never give me flowers.”
“I give you far more than flowers.”
The glasses must have been quite full of strong whiskey. Lumi had been busy with his beans and getting lords and ladies to guess riddles, but it was best if he stayed with Elswere for now in his state.
“Were you drinking before dinner?” Lumi asked once he helped the King outside and around a patch of ice to keep him from falling on his face.
“No, no. Of course not.”
Lies. The King grumbled about letters he’d gotten, and Lumi only half-listened on the way.
“Give me a quick suck before I go do-before I go to sleep,” Elswere mumbled as they entered his rooms. “I need your mouth on me.”
“It’ll be my pleasure.”
The King lay on his bed and started snoring before Lumi could even undo his belt. So much for that. Lumi pulled off his boots, rolled him on his side, and tugged the blanket over him.
“You should cut back. Your half-nephew is an adult, but he doesn’t need you getting sloshed and drowning your failures in four glasses of honey whiskey, plus whatever else you had earlier.” Lumi paused. "Take care of him. At least he tried. Nobody..." He cut off.
He slipped out and went to his room where he picked warm clothes to wear although he wouldn’t be permitted to keep them.
He knew the rule: he could take nothing back.
Not even the reen quill. The glamor soap for his hair and the dye for his ears and tail would stay tucked behind the baseboard behind his bed.
He wasn’t allowed to have anything unless he said so.
Before he left his room that night, he thought about going to Prince Jaki and confessing. Paused in the empty hall, he imagined letting the facade fall away entirely and admitting every damn thing. If he cried, would the Prince hold him and try to make him feel better?
Since he’d offered that much, he probably did care. It didn’t matter when Lumi couldn’t accept it.
The guards said nothing when he left on his horse with his hood pulled low. They probably assumed he was a lord going to a whorehouse for a bit of late-night debauchery.
Havaska was mostly asleep when the horse’s hooves marched over the snowy streets. Lumi kept his hood up and knew staying on the ones lit with torches was safer in those times. A drunk wandered by while singing to himself. The Temple far to one side was lit up as always.
Why didn’t Elira watch over and save him? Why did he have to be abandoned? Why did someone have to dangle a way out in front of him when he couldn’t accept it and had to return to him?
Someone huddled in a dark doorway came out as the horse drew nearer. “Please, if you have a kop or anything-I’m starving. I have no money. Even a piece of bread...”
Lumi hurried the horse by and saw the glint of steel in the man’s hand.
“Fuck you too! I hope you starve like me one day.”
Lumi would have taken a dagger to the chest or throat if he had dared to slow and hand over a coin to that person. Even on the lit streets, one had to be careful at night. Hunger creates desperation.
A hundred feet away from the city gates, he paused the horse and looked behind him. The lit Hall caught his eyes, and he thought about Prince Jaki in his rooms. He was probably waiting but not truly expecting to see his half-brother later.
He could still turn around now, go back, and pray to Elira the Prince would make sure the hands that had warped him for years never touched him again. The price if he failed was too great.
He nudged the horse forward again.