Chapter Seventeen
Lumi was still drained despite the nap and a bath. He’d wanted to go back to court when he’d returned to Tivar because his three years had felt like freedom. Now that he was back with true freedom, he didn’t feel free.
How had he even managed to pack down everything and act for three years? If someone came in and ordered him to go back to being the court entertainer and cum midden like before, he was sure he couldn’t do it now. The last bit of sanity was too shaky to pretend and fake it.
Lumi rolled onto his back. Maybe he could doze for just a little bit more and stop the thoughts. Dinner would be later, and his daughter would wake up many times in the night. He might as well sleep as much as he could.
Jacqueline made a noise and dragged him from the doze he’d tipped into. The voice wasn’t Jaki's, but it was familiar.
“I just wanted to say hello. Er, Erik, right? Jaki said he brought a friend, and you’re not feeling well.”
Lumi froze as he realized Elswere was in the doorway and squinting at the bed. Dear Elira, why had he come in?
“Is that…Jaki didn’t mention a baby.” Elswere scratched his head.
“She’s mine,” Lumi stupidly blurted as he hurried to get on his knees and scoop her up.
“Is that why you were unwell? He didn’t say what was wrong.”
“Uh-I’m fine now. I was-” Lumi wasn’t even sure what to say, and too late, he realized he should have kept his mouth shut as the King squinted at his face for a moment that felt impossibly long. Dear Elira, why had he spoken?
“Lumi?”
Lumi’s heart pounded.
“Is that you?” Elswere cocked an ear as he stared at his face. “Why’d you make your ears white?”
“I’m-I’m not Lumi.”
“I know your voice.” Elswere came further into the room, and Lumi inched toward the edge of the bed. “Is that why you left so suddenly?! You were pregnant and said noth-you said you were infertile! I swear to Elira, that better not be my kid!”
Lumi bolted for the privy room with Jacqueline.
The sudden fear Elswere might take away his daughter followed him.
He slammed the door, locked it, and cursed himself for not trying to change his tone and being caught while dozing.
Jacqueline fussed as he clutched her to his chest. Fuck.
He was supposed to be safe there with her.
“Lumi, you better come out right now. That’s why you ran off so suddenly, isn’t it? Is it mine?”
“No!”
Jacqueline started to cry as he heard Jaki’s voice.
“What are you doing? Why would you come in here-”
“I was trying to be nice and say hello to your friend. You didn’t tell me it was Lumi!”
“I-”
“I might be getting old, but I know a person’s voice when I hear it, and I’m not completely blind. You lied to me!”
“Where is he?”
Jaki said something as Lumi hunched on the floor against the door, and both snapped at each other a few times, although Lumi didn’t quite catch it all.
“You’re hiding something from me, and I want to know what it is. Did he tell you that’s my baby?”
“No, it’s not your child-”
“Well, the kid certainly came from somewhere, and that’s why he ran!”
Jaki paused for a moment. “She’s my daughter.” He said something else.
“That’s your child? And you didn’t tell me right away?!”
“Lower your voice. You’ll scare them, and yes, she’s my daughter-”
“Or a courtier’s-”
Their voices faded a bit since Jaki must have tugged Elswere into the sitting room. Lumi strained to hear until he heard the King shout.
“Is this some sort of sick joke?!”
“Father-”
Both dissolved into yelling as Lumi held Jacqueline closer and tried to soothe her crying.
He caught something about spies, sob stories, herbs, and, “all it takes is one time, and how was I supposed to know he’d conceive?
” The last came from Jaki. More arguing ensued before they started to quiet down.
“He’s not Edur, and whatever he told you is a pack of lies that you were dumb enough to believe. Edur’s been dead for years. They found remains! You’re absolutely insane!”
“Fake remains. Did you actually look upon the unburned face of Edur? Did anyone? No. I would swear to Elira herself he’s Edur, and if you threaten him-”
“Prove it.”
“How the fuck am I supposed to prove it?” yelled Jaki. “Should I demand Tivar come here and say who he is?”
“Bring him in here, and let him tell me something only Edur would know,” demanded Elswere. “Now.”
“Like what? And he goes by Lumi now.”
“That’s for him to know, and why would I call him by his fake name? Oh, right. He’s a spy.”
It took a few seconds before Jaki knocked on the door. “Lumi, can you let me in?”
Lumi did, and he shook his head once Jaki entered. “I’m not going out there. I don’t want to see him.”
“Please, can you think of something to tell him-”
“Why?”
“I can’t hide this forever, and I know you’ve only been here for a few hours…he already knows, so let’s get it over with. I didn’t know he was going to come in here.”
“What if he takes away Jacqueline? He’s furious!”
“There is nothing he can do to you, and I will protect you. I swear. I got you away from Tivar. Do you think I’d let Elswere take away our child or do anything to harm you? What’s he going to do with her?”
“He’s fucked me,” whispered Lumi. “He’s done all sorts of things to me. I let the heat work and pretended to love it. I-”
“You did those things because you were doing what Tivar said to do.”
“I still fucked him! How do you think he feels knowing he was fucking his nephew this whole time, half or not?”
Jaki rubbed his forehead. “It’s not like you woke up one day and decided to spy here.
You were trained and forced to do whatever Tivar commanded.
” He leaned forward. “Yes, you could say you’ve done wrong things, but you’re not a bad person.
You were an innocent child forced into a horrible situation by the false heir who isn’t even worthy of being called a fairy being.
And then, he made sure you couldn’t disobey for the most part before he sent you here.
None of it was your choice, and while it may take a while, Father will have to understand.
You need to tell him something only you two would know so he doesn’t think you’re a spy pretending to be Edur. ”
“Like what?!”
Jaki glanced around the room. “Uh…is there something Reesing did or said? An event only someone close would know?”
Lumi looked away as he suddenly remembered something. “Uh, I think I have an idea.”
Jaki put his arms out for Jacqueline who had quieted but still wore a pinched expression like she might start wailing again. “Can I take her for a minute?”
Lumi let him and followed Jaki out to face Elswere who was standing by the fire with a face like a thundercloud.
“Well?” he demanded as his tail swished. “Are you going to tell me some nonsense about the family that anyone could find out?”
“Do you still have Mother’s things?” Lumi forced out.
Elswere’s jaw tightened. “Some.”
Lumi could barely bring himself to look at Elswere. Standing there was actually harder than allowing his Uncle to fuck him before. He didn’t have a facade to desperately cling to, and he had to struggle to think. “When I was little…I used to like looking in her jewelry box.”
“Mentioning a shiny trinket anyone could have seen isn’t-”
“Let him speak,” Jaki said with such an edge, Elswere looked shocked for a moment. Jaki shifted from foot to foot and patted Jacqueline’s back.
“She had a necklace,” Lumi said in a rush.
“I thought it was ugly, and she said it was one of her favorite pieces, and she didn’t want to change anything about it.
The string was old, and she hadn’t replaced it because she wanted to keep it the same.
The paint was fading from the beads too, so she kept it in her box so it would stay safe.
She sat Tivar and me on the bed one day to show us, and she said it was precious because a commoner in the city had given it to her. ”
The lines around Elswere’s eyes grew deeper.
“Before she had children, Mother, Father, and you were riding through the city one morning, and a woman’s necklace broke.
The beads went rolling everywhere. Mother made the guards stop too, and she got down from her horse to help her collect them all, and she made you and Father help too because she couldn’t see them all.
The woman was so happy because her Grandmother had made it.
Later, the woman came to the Castle. She’d split the beads into two necklaces, and she gave one to Mother to keep. ”
Lumi didn’t think the beads were quite so ugly once Mother explained why she liked the necklace so much.
A gift didn’t have to be shiny and perfect because the intention mattered more.
Mother also hadn’t helped with the intent to get anything in return, and seeing the lady smile had counted for more.
Tivar hadn’t seemed terribly interested. Lumi, being four at the time, had enjoyed looking at the blobby little flowers, swirls, and shapes painted on each bead.
Elswere’s tail sagged. “I was there, and…the necklace is still up in the attic with the rest of the things she left here before going into hiding. East Forest never got this far to rob and ransack the place. I took control of the Castle-” He looked away for a moment. “You never said anything. Three years…”
“Father.” The single word made Elswere glance at Jaki who shifted Jacqueline to rest against his shoulder.
“Not one bloody word? As soon as you stepped foot in the Castle, you should have been telling me everything. You let me think-”
“I couldn’t say anything,” said Lumi. “I had to do what he said because if he got a hold of me later...”
“Just what could Tivar do to you from West Iceland?” roared Elswere. “You’re not scared to be here now, are you?”