Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
DARWIN
I’m tired of disposing of boats. Next thing we know, Clark will be sending his idiots here claiming that we’re stealing their boats. We can always argue that we find these boats abandoned on our shores. Why would we return them when they don’t belong here to begin with?
Then we’d invite him to check the trees and maybe, conveniently, lead him into his own final resting place. Good riddance.
After speaking with Mack and given what we’ve learned from Vivienne, the only island that’s hiding gruesome secrets right now is Chokecherry.
Clark is sending people to their deaths, and I think he knows that.
Kennedy’s death might not have been intentional, but he knows damn well that when they come here, they don’t return.
He knows they’re dying here.
I think he’s smarter than he’s letting on. He’s not calling the authorities because he’d have to admit that he’s sending people to break into private property. Over and over again. That might make the authorities turn their attention to Chokecherry Island instead.
There’s certainly something going on there. While all we know about Vivienne is that she was murdered, I have a feeling that’s only the vague details of the story. There’s a whole lot more to it, and I’d bet my left nut that she died on Chokecherry.
I bet she died at Clark’s hands.
Raising the axe, I bring it down on the plank. It hits with a hollow thwack, and the plank splits in two, the two sides falling off the stump. At least I’m building up some arm strength. I suppose that’s something.
I toss the two treated pieces of wood to the side and look up into the sky.
Fat, fluffy snowflakes are falling so thickly I can barely see the castle.
They’re not quite falling on me since I’m under the long limbs of an old pine tree.
In a way, it feels like it’s offering me protection from the snow.
It protected this little pocket from the snow. My feet are on fallen leaves, pine needles, and wood chips. Meanwhile, the yard that stretches before me, surrounded on three sides by the walls of the castle, is covered in what must be close to two feet of snow.
It’s beautiful. Almost enchanting.
It’s not even particularly cold today. The flakes are drifting straight down, noting the absence of a breeze, which is really unusual on the river.
Matty’s laughter has me looking through the yard.
I see the three of them stepping into the snow, all bundled up tightly.
I think they’re even wearing snow pants.
I grin as I turn to grab another plank. The three men make their way along the path I’d trudged through to get to the newest boat we hadn’t broken down yet.
At this rate, we should probably inform all of No Face of what’s going on. I think it’s probably long overdue. We’re taking care of it, though, so I’m not sure it’s necessary. There’s no need for everyone to converge on the island and interrupt their holiday when we’re taking care of it.
Then again, we risk waiting until it’s too late, and something happens. I bring the axe down with a satisfying thwack.
We’ve brought Mack food and water every day for the past six days, inviting him to tell us anything else he can think of that might be useful. I’m not sure anything he’s told us so far contributes anything of substance to what he’s already told us.
The real question is, what do we do with this information? What’s our next move? Do we keep waiting until our pits are filled with Chokecherry bodies? Do we wait until our wells are running red with blood and rotting corpses?
“Why are you always working?” Matty complains when they get close. “Come play in the snow. We’re going to build a tunnel and have sex in it.”
“It’s a little cold out here for that, no?” I counter, meeting Liam and Zephyr’s eyes. Did they actually agree to this?
Liam takes the axe from me, and Matty grabs my hand, tugging me around the stump. “Please, Darwin?”
I sigh and allow him to pull me away. A smile splits his face.
“Zeph brought you snow gear. Hurry up and get dressed.” He turns and shoves Liam toward the bank of snow as Zephyr holds out the garments in his hands with a demure smile.
“I’m beginning to think we can’t tell that man no,” he says.
“You’re really going to have sex with him under a wall of snow? That’s how you want to die—naked and buried alive?” I ask as I unzip the jacket I’m wearing to pull the snow pants up under it.
He snorts. “I do have supplies in my pocket that will probably be frozen by the time we get to them. I think we’re all banking that he’s going to want to warm up in front of the fire before fucking.”
Matty’s laughter has us both turning. He and Liam are almost lost in the snow. I can barely see the pom-pom on Matty’s hat sticking up over the snowbank.
“He’s pretty great,” I say quietly.
Zephyr sighs. “I feel stupidly foolish for not recognizing that over the last two years.” He meets my eye. “I’ve been blind to a lot.”
I grin and zip my jacket back up. Using the stump, I rest my left foot there and fix my sock, pant leg, and arrange the leg of the snow pants so I don’t end up with a boot full of snow.
“Sometimes we’re really caught up in our lives and don’t see what’s right in front of us,” I agree.
“Yeah?”
“You don’t think I’ve looked at you twice, do you?” I ask as I fix my right foot. “No offense, but loudly spoiled, kind of snotty, and obnoxiously slutty aren’t my favorite qualities in a guy.”
Zephyr snorts. “Ouch.”
I come around the stump and stop in front of him. “I was wrong. You’re none of those things. I judged you wrongly.”
His smile softens. “I think I’ve judged everyone wrong in the split second I’ve given them to make an impression on me before dismissing them. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, but I don’t think we need to apologize.”
Zephyr tugs me close, and I wrap my arms around his neck. “I can’t believe I’ve missed out on this for so long,” he says quietly. “If I hadn’t been feeling so down on myself, I might still be missing everything that I’ve ever needed because I was too self-absorbed to open my eyes.”
I grin. “You’re awfully good at saying sweet things. I think you’re going to be better at boyfriending than you give yourself credit for.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not feeling… overwhelmed right now. I’m not scared or vulnerable or… anything that has the potential to make me want to shut down, Darwin. Those are the moments I’m afraid of hurting you in.”
“You and me—we’re trying this on brand-new together. We’ll get through it.”
“Get through it. Is that what we want?”
With the layers separating our bodies in a way they don’t usually, I feel like I have to truly lean over something thick to get to his mouth so I can kiss him.
“Get through the hard parts, yes. That’s what we want.
Between and beyond the hard parts are the good times.
Those good times will help us grow together, gain confidence in each other and ourselves, and lead us through whatever darkness we need to face. ”
Zephyr looks at where Matty and Liam are digging into the snow together.
“I hate to say it, but I think Liam will be our guiding light sometimes. He knows exactly what not to do because he’s lived that life for two and a half years.
He’s growing right before our eyes. I feel like I’m watching them heal together.
It’s frustrating that I don’t hate him like I did last month. ”
“Matty loves him. If for no other reason than that, we need to support Liam in whatever way he needs it. Whatever happens between the four of us, we need to remember that there are four involved in whatever capacity our relationships happen. We can’t shut Liam out, Zeph.”
“I know.” He watches Liam for a minute longer.
“I was initially furious that he brought Matty into the execution chamber. All I could think was don’t you think you’ve made him suffer enough?
But I realized that what he was doing was empowering Matty.
He embraces Matty’s ability to talk to the ghosts in a way that you and I don’t.
Matty did something that none of us could, and because he brought Matty into it, Matty saved a life that we were ready to take.
Neither you nor I would have done that.”
“He knows Matty better than we do,” I agree. “They’ve been together for so long.”
“Yet, I think they’re learning each other all over again. Matty isn’t the person he was before the failed initiation. Liam isn’t either. In a way, they get to fall in love all over again as they get to know each other.”
“Listen to you being all swoony.”
Zephyr rolls his eyes as he turns his attention back to me. “You want romance, don’t you?”
I grin. “I don’t know,” I admit. “Maybe a little.”
He licks his lips. “I’ve never tried romance, Darwin, so be patient with me. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Darwin! Zeph! Come on. Help us make the sex room!” Matty calls.
“He’s not letting that go.” I sigh.
Zephyr laughs. He takes my hand, though I miss the feel of his skin through both of our thick gloves.
“You’re doing this wrong,” Zephyr says. “See how it’s crumbling there? You need to build the snow up first. Then you dig in. The walls need to be far thicker than what snow has naturally built up.”
Matty looks at the sinking part and frowns. “See? If you hadn’t been sneaking kisses under the tree without us, we wouldn’t have been wasting our time digging too soon.”
Zephyr pushes him gently. “Come on, doll. Liam and Darwin can push that side up, and we’ll push this side.”
Matty beams as he wades through the deep snow. I move to the other side of the collapsing tunnel to join Liam. “You don’t think he’s really going to want to have sex in the snow tunnel, do you?” I ask.
Liam gives me a bemused smile. “Yes. Even if you convince him to warm up when we’ve finished building this, and we fuck him good in front of the fire, he’ll drag us out here later. He’s pretty set that we’re having sex in the snow today.”
I sigh. “I don’t want my balls to freeze off,” I mutter. “That’s not the attention my balls like.”
He snorts. “Good news is that we won’t be cold if we’re fucking the way Matty demands.”
Matty’s laughter once again has me looking up. Zephyr has him over his shoulder, and together, they collapse into the soft snow beyond the hill we’re building. They wrestle for a few minutes, Matty’s laughter carries on the air, and I stare at him with a smile.
“I love his happiness,” Liam says quietly. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen it. I can’t explain how it fills me.”
“It heals you,” I correct. “Your misery was in direct response to his. Because he’s healing, you are too.”
Liam glances at me. “You think so?”
“In everything you and Matty have ever said about your relationship, I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve made your identity Matty.
So yes. Your mood and your mental health and emotional health are in direct correlation to Matty’s.
When he suffers, you suffer. Especially when you believe it’s your fault that he’s suffering. ”
“It is my fault.”
“I agree.”
Liam exhales. “I appreciate that you don’t try to tell me it’s not.” He meets my eye. “My parents insist it’s not my fault.”
“It’s absolutely your fault. You forced him into the situation. You’re the reason he’s been exiled in the tunnels that haunt him. You abandon him to solitude, which, outside of actual physical torture, is the most severe punishment that prisoners go through. That’s all you, Liam.”
He inclines his head, nodding.
I shove him, and he’s not expecting it, so he careens to the side, toppling into the snow. I laugh when the snow puffs out like I just shoved him into a bowl of flour. He looks up at me, face covered in snow, and I laugh further, dropping to my knees at his side.
“Cute,” he mutters, but I don’t miss the way he’s trying to fight his smile.
Leaning close, I say, “You’re also healing him, Liam.
Long overdue, but you’ve finally pulled your head out of your ass, and you’ve made him the priority you’ve always claimed him to be.
Maybe because you felt threatened that we were moving in, but whatever the case is, you’re teaching him to live again.
You. You’re allowed to make up for your mistakes. ”
Liam closes his eyes. “I don’t like our talks, Darwin. It feels like you’re wringing me out before hanging me to dry.”
I grin. “Good. I have a little more torture planned for you before I’m ready to forgive you for how you’ve treated him.”
“I deserve that.”
I grip his jacket and pull him up. His eyes widen, expecting me to toss him again, probably. His hands wrap around my wrist as he stares at me.
“You need to give yourself permission to heal, too, you know. You can’t be everything he needs if you’re always going to hate yourself for the past.”
“I don’t know how to let it go,” he admits.
“The past is in the past. There’s a lion movie, and in it, the crazy baboon says you can either run from the past or learn from it. Which will it be?”
Our conversation is interrupted when Matty tackles me from behind. I fall onto Liam, my face buried in the snow. I shudder at the frosty fingers of the snow touching my face. Fuck, it’s cold.
Matty’s laughter makes me smile, despite being buried in snow. Then, his weight is lifted from me. Liam struggles under me and pushes my face out of the snow. I’m sputtering as he tries to wipe my face with wet mittens.
Matty’s arms wrap around me, and once again, he pulls me down to where we both fall on top of Liam. Liam’s arms wrap around us, giving up trying to clean me of snow. Matty grins, his pretty brown eyes glittering with reflections of snow.
“You can’t be over here wrestling when we’re the only ones building a snow fort for us!” Matty says.
I kiss his face and let my head fall on Liam’s chest. “I think we should stay right here and take a nap. Liam’s wearing enough layers that he makes a good pillow, no?”
Matty giggles. He leans forward, snuggling into me, and sighs. “I like that idea, but he’s still pretty soft without the layers, and we can lie like this in front of the fire where we won’t freeze to death.”
“I’m not sure if calling me soft is a compliment,” Liam says.
Matty laughs. “It’s the best compliment. Right, Zephyr?”
“I can’t feel my toes,” Zephyr calls from somewhere in the distance. Matty picks his head up. “I’m going in. You can have sex in the snow, but I’m going to wank off in front of the fire.”
Matty laughs. “Wimp,” he mutters as he presses his face into my chest again. I hug him tightly, and Liam’s arms keep us both snugly to him.
This’ll work out. I’m sure of it.