Chapter 32
I’m sure I’ve heard him wrong.
There’s no other explanation, except that his hand on my throat has been there longer than I think it has and the lack of oxygen is making me hear shit that’s not actually being said. I blink once, then twice, and my eyes slide to the side before back up to his face.
“…Come again?” I ask, voice barely audible. “I’m sure I didn’t?—”
“I can say it in as many ways as you like,” Kayde promises, pressed against me with no room for me to even breathe. “You’re mine. You’ll always be mine now. I’ve never been in love with anyone.” His grin turns a little feral and he chuffs softly under his breath. “I didn’t even know that’s what was happening. The day you caught me coming back from the lake? I was out on that little island, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. The reason I left early? I had shit to clean up back where I’m from. I needed to tie up everything so I could come back here to you. Now.” He presses his forehead to mine, eyes closing. “Baby girl, you’re going to tell me what Darcy said to you one way or another. Or, alternately, if I have to go ask Kinsley, I’m going to be a lot less pleased about it.”
I whine, twisting in his grip, and find that something in his voice makes my vision go hazy at the edges, just like it has in the past. Though normally, when he makes me go fuzzy, it’s when he’s fucking me. Not threatening me and probably lying to me.
He can’t be in love with me.
“I…” I twist in his grip, writhing back and forth like I’ve been caught doing something wrong. “Can we go back t-to what you?—”
“To me telling you I’m in love with you? To me telling you that from here on out, Summer, you’re mine? We can put a ring on it, if you want—” A thrill of terror shoots through me, and I look up at him, eyes going wide. “Or we don’t have to. Doesn’t matter to me, as long as you know you are mine and never forget it.”
“I’m not…” I shake my head hard. “Kayde, I don’t know if this is a joke, or a prank, or if you’re just trying to throw me off of you being here again—” He cuts me off with another searing kiss, his fingers squeezing around my throat until I see stars.
Only when I’m gasping does he let go, and I don’t even try to stop the trembling in my body. “I hate you,” I whisper, looking up at him. “Kayde, I despise you. More than anyone in this world. You…you wanted to kill the kids here. And you tried to break me, then you left me without saying a fucking word. You’re the literal worst?—”
This time, I see his kiss coming and I bite at his lower lip, sinking my teeth in and getting a growl in return before he pulls away. “If that makes you feel better, sweetheart, you can bite me,” Kayde croons. “Scratch me to pieces and get my blood under your nails. Do you want my knife back? Do you want me to show you where to cut?” He rocks his hips into mine suddenly, pulling a gasp from my throat. “Tell me you hate me,” he urges, not stopping.
“I hate you,” I repeat. “I hate you Kayde!”
“Want me to die? Want me to drop dead right here?” He moves the hand on my throat to press his palm flat against my stomach, rucking up my t-shirt as he drinks in my expressions and reactions. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want you to fall off the nearest cliff.” It’s easy to gasp out the words, even with heat staining my face as I stare at him. My struggles seem forgotten until I remember them again, and I redouble my efforts to break free of him. “I want that stupid, mythical elk the kids think they saw to eat you. I want you to get hit by a fucking semi truck.”
“Only if you’re driving it.” Kayde chuckles, slipping his fingers up until he can trace the edges of my bra.
“You can’t be in love with me.” The words leave me in a rush, and I pull away from him the few inches I’m able so I can meet his gaze fully, eyes wide. “Seriously, you can’t.”
“And why is that, sweetheart?” he murmurs.
“Because you met me two weeks ago! You—we—you were going to kill everyone here and so I made a deal to make you stop. You manipulated me. You blackmailed me and…” I lick my lips, brain scrambling. “And you haven’t known me long enough to be in love with me.”
“Someone hasn’t done her sociopath research, has she?” Kayde chuckles, teasingly. He hooks a finger in my bra, then slides his hand free to curl his fingers around my throat once more. “It took me all week to realize it. But by day three, I was in love with you, sweetheart.” My heart jumps into my throat, where I’m sure he can feel it pounding away like a drum. “Like I said before, I needed time to figure it out. You know why I wanted to fuck you like I was your boyfriend?”
He leans close—like it’s a secret, as if anyone is around to overhear—before purring against my cheek, “Because I am your boyfriend. And I wanted to make sure I was ruining you for anyone you might meet in the week I’d be gone.”
“You’re not my?—”
He kisses me again. So hard that his teeth click against mine. I whimper, trying to pull away, but Kayde will have none of it. His hand tightens and loosens around my throat, seeming to know when I need to breathe before passing out and giving me just enough air to keep kissing him.
But all I can do in those moments of oxygen is sob against his mouth, as tears of overstimulation roll down my cheeks, only to be licked up by Kayde.
“I’ll do whatever I have to do to make you feel the same,” he murmurs against my mouth. “You want to stab me? You can stab me. You want to tie me down and fuck me, baby? Use me as your own personal fuck toy.” He grinds his hips against mine at the words, promising what his mouth is offering.
“Want me to kill Darcy for you?” His soft, secretive croon makes me shake my head, and I refuse to entertain the possibility. “I’ll do it for you. And maybe a little bit for me.” He turns to lick at my tears again, making a quiet sound of appreciation.
“Don’t kill anyone,” I beg, my fingers tight in his shirt. “Kayde, you can’t kill anyone. Not Darcy, not Kinsley, not the kids?—”
“Don’t wanna kill them anymore, Summer,” Kayde interrupts. “Don’t need to. They’re not like you. They don’t hold my interest like you do, sweetheart. Tell me what you want from me. Tell me what will make you love me like I love you. Summer, tell me how to make you mine in your mind and not just my own.”
“Get hit by a semi.”
“Like I said, baby girl, only if you’re behind the wheel.”
I can’t help my incredulous scoff, and I stare at him as he pulls away, a wolfish grin on his lips. “You can’t fucking kill anyone.” Trying to put as much anger as I can into the words. “I’ll tell someone this time. I’ll kill you?—”
“You’ll try,” Kayde agrees. “I won’t kill anyone if that’s what you want, all right?” He holds up his fingers in that stupid scout salute again, and I roll my eyes. “Okay? Will you tell me what she said now?”
I shouldn’t believe him. There’s literally no reason on the face of this earth to believe Kayde, of all people, when it comes to murder. Not after what brought him to Camp Crestview in the first place.
“She thought I knew you were gone,” I say at last, and tentatively tell him all of what she’d said then, and after that, the comments at last night’s campfire.
And somehow, Kayde just stands there. His jaw works, though, like he’s fighting not to speak, and his eyes turn to cold chips of topaz. His hands on my throat and wrists don’t budge, however, and I still feel his thigh rubbing against the apex of my thighs with a promise I can’t think about right now.
“You know no one would miss her, right?” Kayde asks, closing his eyes hard. “You understand I could make it look like an accident.”
“She’s upset. She’s jealous,” I whisper, gripping as much of his hand as I can with my fingers. “Kayde, you can’t kill her?—”
“I can’t?” He leans forward again, some of the irritation melting out of his face. “You sure about that?”
I shake my head, then nod quickly, realizing what he’d asked. “You can’t,” I say flatly. “Or I’ll tell someone what you are.”
“Then do me a favor, hmm?” His grin curls over his lips, causing my heart to thump in my throat. “One thing, okay?”
One thing is never one thing with Kayde, but I dip my head in a nod, anyway. “What?”
“Do something for me. Distract me from how much I want to hurt Darcy for what she said to you.” He lets go of my throat and tilts my chin up. “Did she make you cry?” he murmurs, gaze searching my face.
I can’t answer.
I will not admit to crying over him.
“Anything I think you’ll like? Anything to distract you?” I whisper instead of an answer. He barely hesitates before dipping a quick nod, and my breath leaves me in a huff as my brain screams at me for what I’m about to do.
But if this won’t distract him, then I don’t know what will.
With my eyes on his, I open my mouth, tilting my head back just enough to make it clear what I’m doing. Then I let my tongue fall from between my parted lips, never looking away from his eyes.
And it has the exact result I’d been hoping for. He inhales sharply, surprised, before his eyes darken and he glances down at my mouth. “Sweetheart…” Kayde breathes, reaching up to grip my face instead of my throat. He tilts my chin further upward until I’m leaning back against the tree with my throat fully on display for him.
“Gorgeous, perfect girl. You’re ruining me, you know?” His voice is almost a coo, almost a fucking lullaby with its sweetness and its gentleness. My fingers tighten around the side of his hand as he leans forward, crowding me, and Kayde opens his mouth, poised about twelve inches over mine.
But he doesn’t spit in my mouth like I’m used to. He lets the saliva gather on his tongue before sticking it out in a mimicry of me. The result is that his saliva drips from his mouth to mine, landing on my tongue and sliding toward my throat. But it feels different this time. Not as aggressive as usual.
Not to mention that instead of pulling away, Kayde follows the broken string of saliva until he can kiss me, tongue licking against mine until my mouth is full of the taste of him. It’s only when he pulls away that I realize I’m panting, and that his hand is back on my hip while he rocks his hips against mine over and over again.
“Thank you,” I whisper, just as he opens his mouth to speak.
It results in a groan from Kayde and causes him to throw his head back as he ruts against me. “Fuck,” Kayde growls, not stopping his movements as heat builds between my thighs. “You’re going to fucking kill me, Summer.”
Recklessly, I grin at him, leaning into the movement of his thigh. “Good,” I tell him without stopping the word from leaving my mouth. “That’s the fucking plan if you do anything that you shouldn’t. I’ll end you, Kayde. Some fucking way, I swear. No matter if I have to?—”
He cuts off my rambling monologue with another kiss, and suddenly the hand not around my wrists dives between my thighs, dragging the waistband of my shorts down with him. I whine a protest against his lips, wriggling in his grip, only for him to ignore it completely as two fingers sink between my folds.
“I believe that, baby girl,” Kayde taunts, pulling them free and holding his fingers up between us so I can see the wetness that glistens on them. “I really do, I promise. But next time?” As I watch, he brings his hand to his mouth and slowly, languidly, licks his fingers clean with his eyes never leaving mine.
“Next time, maybe your threat would be more believable if your pussy isn’t so fucking soaked for me. But that’s okay.” He leans forward again and kisses me, forcing me to taste myself on his tongue before adding, “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of practice this week.”