Chapter 35
When I roll over and find Kayde gone, I’m not that surprised. Not when I remember him murmuring in my ear something to the effect of him leaving. Or kissing my cheek, my nose, and finally my lips as he’d pulled me close to him one last time.
The memories are foggy, but there. And at least he isn’t around to see the way my fingers trail over the pillow he’d commandeered for himself, or the way I close my eyes and take a deep breath once I’ve rolled over to bury my face in it.
I’m the only one around to know, and that makes the internal burn of shame a little more bearable.
Getting up makes me groan, and I wince at the soreness low in my body, stopping to splay my hand over my stomach with a sigh. Once again, Kayde had done a number on me. Though when I check my mirror, I see that the only bruises to be found are the ones on my hips from how tightly he’d held me while he’d fucked me into the mattress. Even my throat is unmarred today, and I wonder if he’d held back on purpose when he knows exactly how much it takes to leave a bruise.
Or he should, anyway. With how much practice he’d had a couple weeks ago.
My spine tingles, and a low simmering want makes itself known between my thighs. Mentally, I slap that part of myself and scrunch my face at my reflection. “No, down. Stay,” I tell myself, voice a little rough around the edges with sleep. “This is not the time to daydream about Kayde.” It’s never the time to daydream about him.
Especially after last night.
He’d killed someone after the crash.His words go through my head on repeat, even though I slam my eyes shut and wish I could beat them out of my ears and mind with a proverbial broom.
He begged me not to die.
I don’t understand how he can say stuff like that so easily. So…normally. Like it isn’t a big deal that he’d killed someone at seventeen. Someone he’d known, who had been his teammate. And from what I can see, Kayde doesn’t feel the least bit bad about it.
“God, Summer,” I tell my reflection, a frown touching my lips. “You’re so fucked. And not just the good kind of fucked. You are fucked, fucked. Like…” I wave my hands dismissively, blinking away the tiredness still dragging at me.
Kayde really is a problem, and now it’s looking like it’s one I won’t be getting rid of.
Do you even want to? The snotty little voice in my brain really should be put to death, or at the very least, into permanent exile. She’s not right, because I refuse to let her be. My hands flex at my sides, and I stare at myself for only a few more seconds before finding my clothes for the day and putting them on over my swimsuit.
If the phrase ‘I wonder if Kayde will like it,’ goes through my head ever in the few minutes I take to get ready, I’ll certainly never admit it. Not even under penalty of death. But coincidentally, this is my favorite swimsuit I own, with a black top that’s tied with a thin, cute bow, a border of turquoise under it, and turquoise and black shorts that I’m wearing under my longer, slightly baggy running shorts.
From the room next to mine, I hear my girls getting ready, and time it so I end up on my little deck just as their door opens, revealing all eight of my girls dressed in shorts and Camp Crestview t-shirts.
I smile at that, and the way they all assemble in a line on their deck, with Melody at their head, of course. They’re like a little legion, and I’m the only thing keeping them from taking over Crestview to rule with an iron fist.
I can only imagine what their flag would look like, should the day of a coup ever become reality.
“You girls look ready to conquer the day. Any plans I should know about?” I ask, trudging along the wet path toward Otter Hall. It’s a good thing that the plan for today is swimming instead of something like the obstacle course.
Not that I’d let any of the kids near the obstacle course while everything is slippery. Harnesses or not, that would be absolutely asking for it.
“We’re swimming today, right?” Melody asks, Lily at her shoulder with her eyes trained on me. While she’s definitely not my favorite, like Melody, Lily is a constant. Plus, she’s dependable enough that I know she won’t try to kill anyone, break anything, or run away.
At least, as long as Melody is in charge. Quite frankly, I doubt any of my girls would step out of line with Melody here. But on the flip side of that, Melody is excellent at riling up her peers when she wants to do something spontaneous or ill-advised. So while none of the other girls will do anything on their own that makes me have to go track them down, if Melody wanted to get all of them in on something, I’d have eight girls to worry about, instead of one.
Pushing open the door to the dining hall, I’m unsurprised to see that apart from Daniel’s cabin, we’re the only ones here. It isn’t my choice to be up this early, but I certainly don’t mind being one of the first. Not when it means my girls can swarm the window where the food is laid out without competition and get themselves seated rather quickly.
I wait for them to do so, then swoop in for my usual eggs, one whole sausage link to say I ate something with iron in it, and a biscuit smothered in gravy. Then I grab coffee, a glass of water, and waltz over to the table for four I share with Liza and Kinsley on most days. Though neither of them are here yet, I sink down into my chair by the wall, my eyes on the eight girls slowly waking up now that they’ve been given sustenance.
Another cabin of boys filters through the dining hall next, heading to the window and slowly, sleepily fixing themselves plates. They’re not Daniel’s, obviously, and I don’t know enough of the newest boys to really place them.
At least, until Kayde sits down beside me, one arm draped over the back of my chair. “Good morning,” he murmurs, leaning in to kiss my cheek just as all of my girls turn to look at us. Naturally.
With my eyes on them, I can see their looks of delight at Kayde kissing me, and a few of them cover their mouths to giggle, while three others, including Melody, put their heads together to whisper conspiratorially. All the while staring at me, of course, so there’s no doubt of what’s gotten them going.
“They’re going to be making jokes at my expense for the rest of the week,” I sigh, but I settle back against his arm. “You know that, right? We’re going to have to hear ‘Kayde and Summer sitting in a tree’ until our ears bleed.”
“Too bad,” Kayde murmurs in my ear, just as he turns to grin and wave at my cabin. This sets off another rumbling of conversation, and when his boys join my girls at the large table, I see them all leaning in to talk to one another, shooting glances at us when they can.
Too bad they aren’t very subtle about it. If they even know the definition of the word, or give a damn.
I don’t really think they give a damn if we see them or not. All of our combined kids are too busy looking like they’ve caught us doing something illegal or that they’ve found out some hush-hush secret.
By the end of the day, I have no doubt we’ll be the center of Camp Crestview gossip. Especially since the newness of Liza and Kinsley has worn off and everyone in the camp knows they’re dating.
But this with Kayde? Yeah, it’s going to be an event all day long, I’m sure.
My eyes catch more girls filtering in and heading up to the window with Kinsley in tow, just as Liza sits down across from us, a question in her eyes as she looks at Kayde. “Will you be joining us often now?” she asks, crossing her arms and leaning back like she’s staging an interview for the position of Fourth Seat at the table.
“Am I allowed?” Kayde chuckles under his breath, reaching out to my plate and snagging the sausage link. I certainly don’t mind. I probably wouldn’t have ended up eating it anyway, after all.
“Depends. If you’re going to take the few sources of iron that Summer deigns to put on her plate, then you are not.” Her voice is crisp as she looks at him, seeming unimpressed.
“I’ll get her another one,” Kayde assures Liza, getting to his feet. “Do you want anything?”
Liza shakes her head, still eyeing him up and down as he strides toward the window. “So,” she remarks, watching as he sidles up to Kinsley and accepts a plate from her. “Should we assume this is an official thing now? Certainly all the kids are convinced it is.”
I grimace at that, stabbing my eggs and shoving a forkful of them into my mouth. “There’s nothing to be official,” I grumble, dragging one knee up onto the chair and sitting sort of awkwardly on my calf. It’s not the most comfortable thing, that’s for sure. But sometimes I like sitting like this where I feel smaller or, alternatively, like I could spring out of my seat at any moment.
Though in this position, I’d probably manage to just smash my face into my plate of eggs.
“He certainly got back late last night,” Liza goes on, as if I’m not looking mightily uncomfortable. “His cabin is next to mine, in case you didn’t know that.”
“Oh, I totally knew that.” I stab more of my eggs as I eye her, attention flicking between Liza and Kayde at the window. “Will you be keeping a timetable of when Kayde goes to bed this week?”
Liza’s grin is a little slyer than I expect, and she can’t help a soft snort as she shakes her head. “I’m just surprised he isn’t staying with you in your cabin, is all.” Kinsley sits down beside her right as she says it, Kayde following a step behind as he sinks down in the chair at my left.
“She won’t let me,” Kayde sighs dramatically, dropping two sausages and more eggs onto my plate. “You should eat those, by the way. Your body will like iron. I promise.” His voice is sickly sweet, and I roll my eyes at him dramatically, making sure I go slow enough that there’s no way he can miss the message at any point.
“I have never, not once, kicked you out after—” I break off as he fixes me with an interested look.
“After…?” Kinsley leans forward, one elbow on the table. “I don’t want to hear about the sex stuff or anything, but if you guys are trying out any new kinks that we could appropriate?—”
“I hate you. And we?—”
“Sometimes I try to expand her horizons,” Kayde interrupts easily, being so conversational that we could be chatting about the weather. “Last night I was just happy to see Summer, so I was a little boring. I gave her a back massage, though.” He glances at Liza, one brow raised. “This is probably the part where we compare night activities.”
“No, it’s not,” I’m quick to amend. “Liza, don’t you dare. Kins, I’ll divorce you.”
“Might have to do that anyway,” Kinsley sniffs. “Kayde doesn’t seem like he wants to share.”
“I am a little selfish,” Kayde agrees solemnly. “I’ll send you a gift box in apology, Kins.”
I grumble under my breath at him, and surreptitiously try to slide the sausages back onto his plate, only for Kayde to smoothly block me with his fork. “Eat the protein, sweetheart,” he says without looking at me, his eyes on the kids we’re still supposed to be supervising. “It’s good for you.”
“I hate you,” I only sigh, and mime stabbing him in the hand with my fork.
With my feet in the water and my sunglasses firmly in place, it’s easier to keep my eyes on all thirty-six kids in the pool from where I’m sitting than it would be from the chair where Daniel looks half asleep. Kinsley sits beside me, her toes wiggling in the water, and I can clearly see Shawn in the lifeguard’s seat. Though since he’s also wearing sunglasses, I have no idea exactly where he’s looking.
“We should go camping this fall,” Kinsley muses, kicking water up into the air lightly.
“Because we don’t get enough of that here?” I point out, brows raised over my sunglasses. “Or are you just a masochist?”
“Tent camping,” Kinsley amends. “We haven’t gone tent camping in the mountains in years.”
I don’t answer her right away. But I do consider it. We’d spent a lot of summers in the Great Smoky Mountains as kids, pitching our cheap department store tent in our little camping spot with my mom in the RV close by in case we needed anything. Or in case it rained.
“We really haven’t,” I agree, my tone thoughtful. “You’d want to go again?”
“We should get a dog. Not just for, like, tent security. But because I want a dog.” Kinsley turns to grin at me, tapping her fingers on the cement under her.
“Does Liza want a dog?” I ask, half-teasing.
Kinsley’s grin turns sly. “We may have talked about it, yeah.”
“And how many kids does she want?” My grin widens, and it seems my dreams of being a maid of honor for Kins and Liza are getting more and more real by the day. Especially if they’re already talking about buying a dog together.
God, they’re so adorable it’s unreal.
“How many kids does Kayde want?” Kinsley snips back, her own smile growing just as wide and feral as mine. “Does he like dogs, or cats? Where will you two be buying your first place, hmm?” as she speaks, I can feel my bravado fading, until finally she’s taunted me into silence.
So all I can do in response to her tirade is huff and admit defeat.
“Summer!” The fact that Melody sounds like she’s full of irritation when saying my name makes me think this isn’t the first time she’s said it. Though it’s certainly the first time I’m hearing it.
“What?” I ask, turning to look at her. “If you killed someone, Mel, I’m not bailing you out of jail.”
The glare she gives me is withering, at best. She rolls her eyes, hands on her hips in the water. “We want to have a chicken tournament.” she demands, rather than asks.
Kinsley shifts beside me, frowning. “Fink said no more chicken tournaments,” she points out, earning a glare from Melody that could melt steel.
“Fink also says no weed,” I mumble, not looking at her and instead studying my fingernails as Kinsley turns her glare on me. “Not like we’ve ever gotten hurt during chicken.”
“You’re as bad as them,” Kinsley informs me. “Give me one good reason to agree.”
Smiling, I lean over and whisper to her that I’ll take over her walk around tonight in order to give her more time to spend with Liza.
Which is how, fifteen minutes later, she and I are the last remaining team standing for the girls, while Daniel and Shawn circle us in the pool. I brace myself, grinning, on Kinsley’s shoulders as she turns slowly, my arms going back out in preparation for slapping at, or maybe punching, Shawn. Daniel is, maybe, better at being the lower half of the team than Kinsley is. He’s steady in the water and never seems to falter or lose his balance.
As they come in closer and Kinsley moves to meet them, I hear the kids in and around the pool cheering and taunting us on. I push at Shawn, who shoves back at me, and for a moment, my irritation with him is forgotten.
After all, this is just a game for fun. A way for all of us to blow off some extra energy and jitters from the rain. I laugh as Kinsley reels backward, both of us nearly falling into the water as she chuckles as well.
“Kick him!” I laugh, tapping Kinsley on the head. “Go for his knees!” She laughs as well, turning back around to get us into a better position for me to slap and shove at Shawn.
When she leans in and I meet Shawn’s eyes, my grin wide, I pause.
He doesn’t look right. Something on his face looks off, but I don’t have the time to convey that to Kinsley before she’s tipping forward, putting me in range of shoving at Shawn once more.
Only Daniel seems to have forgotten how to balance in the water. He tips forward, Shawn careening toward me with his arms outstretched like he’s looking for something to hold on to in order to right himself.
Except what he manages to grab is me, and I’m not exactly in a place to help either of us. Shawn’s weight throws me backward, and under me I hear Kinsley yelp as my legs slip from her shoulders. Shawn comes with me, both of us falling into the pool just as I take a breath that, unfortunately, is pretty poorly timed.
The water in my mouth and throat is a quick punishment, and I flail under water as Shawn’s weight pushes me down to the bottom of the pool.
All I have to do is stand up, as my lungs burn and I try not to cough and hack.
But Shawn is still there, still flailing, still pinning me under him in the water. My leg is tangled with his, though I can’t figure out why, and my heart pounds in my chest as I try, and fail, to surge upward.
All I have to do is stand up.
Fear darkens the edges of my vision as my lungs burn. This reminds me too much of the kayaking incident for me not to freak out, and I make a noise through my open mouth as I grab at Shawn, trying to signal to him that I need him off of me. I need help.
But all I get is a foot in my stomach, nearly causing me to wretch as the rest of my precious air is forced from my lungs and I cough into the water, dragging more of it into my abused, screaming lungs.
All I need to do?—
I grab for Shawn, unwilling to play nice, and wrench until he’s off of me, no longer pinning me in the water with his grip or his weight.
Is stand the fuck up.
My feet find the bottom of the pool and I propel myself upward, gasping as my head breaks free of the water.
“Summer!” Kinsley grabs me under the arms, dragging me to the edge of the pool. “Holy fuck, are you okay? You weren’t coming up, and?—”
“Can’t breathe,” I gasp weakly, lungs burning. “Really can’t breathe.”
“Fuck, okay.” Kinsley hauls herself out of the pool and yells for Daniel, and in seconds both of them are dragging me out of the pool while I do my best impression of a crash test dummy. Once I’m on my side on the cement, I cough loudly, trying not to sound like I’m dying as I choke up some of the water that had made it into my lungs.
At least it’s not as bad as the kayaking incident. A minute or so goes by and I shove myself up to my knees, huffing out a breath. “The pool water is gross, in case anyone is wondering,” I announce, eyes closed as my arms shake.
“Yeah, uh, none of us were planning on drinking it, sweetie,” Kinsley informs me weakly, sitting down hard.
Shawn kneels beside me suddenly, hands flailing. “Shit, Summer, I’m so sorry,” he hisses, rubbing his sluggishly bleeding knee cap where he must’ve scraped it on the bottom of the pool. “I was trying to get off of you. I don’t know what had us pinned.”
“It might’ve been me,” Daniel admits quietly, sounding sheepish. “I think we were all just tangled up real bad. Sorry you got the worst of it, Summer.”
I glance up at Daniel, at the apology clear in his face, before turning to glance sidelong at Shawn.
He…doesn’t look as apologetic. But instead of letting my hackles go up, I smile weakly at both of them and flap my hand dismissively. “No worries, Daniel. I think this summer any body of water isn’t my friend, is all. Really hope the third time’s not a charm in this situation.”
“We are not going to let you drown,” Kins scoffs. “Even if Daniel and I have to drag you out of every river, lake, stream, and puddle.”
Again, I glance sidelong at Shawn. Instead of nodding fervently like Daniel, who’s still trying to apologize, Shawn just watches me, as shrewd as ever, and I can’t help noticing how unconcerned he is.
But then again, I remind myself, that really is just Shawn.