Chapter 6 Everly
EVERLY
“I love you.”
I stood there, looking at my brother while his buddies surrounded him. They all brandished knives I’d never seen before and charged me from all sides. I tore through the crowd, feeling their blades swiping across my skin as I ran for the horizon.
Towards the twinkling stars that opened their arms out to me.
“I’m coming for you!” Rex said.
“No! Stop! Please!”
I was running with all of my might, but it felt like the horizon wasn’t getting any closer.
“It’s imaginary,” my brother said. “Just like the safety you feel with him.”
“Who? With who?” I asked.
“I’ll find you,” Rex said. “You and that mouth you can’t shut up.”
I saw a knife hovering over my chest as Rex straddled my body.
His friends were standing around him, chanting in a language I didn’t recognize.
Their eyes were bulging and their veins were turning red and purple and yellow.
They were protruding from every part of their body, like an adrenaline experiment gone wrong.
“Rex. Stop. Please,” I said as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“You shouldn't have talked,” he said. “You should have kept that pretty little mouth shut.”
“I’m sorry,” I said breathlessly. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, and so was Blaze.”
I watched as my brother heaved the blade in the air. The twinkling stars of the sky began to rain down onto the land. Showering everything in fire and reflecting its destruction on his blade. The blade that had killed his friend that night.
“Stop! No!”
I bolted upright in my bed as sweat dripped from my brow.
I looked around me, trying to get my bearings as my heart threatened to burst out of my chest. It was beating so hard I could physically see my chest moving.
Jolting with its assault as my hands trembled.
I looked up to the ceiling and peeked through the skylight.
The stars were in their rightful place, burning up the universe instead of burning the ground I was laying on.
The ground I had been pinned to.
I threw the covers off my body and wiped the sweat from my brow.
I needed a drink. Or a snack. Or the cool air of the fridge on my face.
I slipped from the bed and opened the door, then padded softly down the hallway.
I ran my hand down the wall of the hallway, but this time I wasn’t taking anything in.
I was grounding myself in reality. Trying to get my footing after my horrendous nightmare.
Though it felt like it had gone on for longer than it seemed.
I found my way to the kitchen and pulled open the fridge. The cool air blasted me, sending comforting chills down my skin. The sweat dried from my brow as I closed my eyes, shielding my eyes from the harsh light.
“Everly?”
I jumped twelve feet in the air before I slammed the fridge door closed.
“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay.”
I felt Grave’s hands come down onto my arms as my eyes fluttered up to meet his. He looked tired. Concerned. And slightly perplexed. I caught my breath as Grave began to rub my arms, and an electric sensation jolted through my body.
I tried to ignore it, but the longer he rubbed me the stronger the sensation became.
“Did I wake you up? I tried to be quiet coming past your room.”
“I was on the couch,” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“In case you needed anything.”
“Can you not hear anything from your room?”
“I can hear it better out here.”
I wasn’t sure why I felt like he was lying to me, but I did.
At the very least, he wasn't telling me the entire truth.
I furrowed my brow and stepped away from his grasp, trying to put some distance between myself and the behemoth of a man he was.
I covered my chest, tucking my arms underneath one another as Grave reached for the fridge door.
“You thirsty?” he asked. “I’ve got water. Some beer. A soda.”
“Water’s fine,” I said
He grabbed me a bottle of water before uncapping a beer with his hand. I screwed the cap off and drank it as my eyes moved over to the couch. There was a comforter and a few pillows strewn about, and for some reason I felt guilty that he was sleeping there.
Why did I feel guilty?
“Do you sleep well on that couch?” I asked.
“I sleep on it more some weeks than my own bed,” Grave said.
“Why?”
“I fall asleep watching television sometimes.”
“All right, old man,” I said with a grin.
“Hey. Beats laying here and listening to the silence some nights.”
“I think the silence in comforting.”
“Until it exposes your loneliness.”
I looked up at Grave and quirked an eyebrow. Was a man like him lonely? I figured no one would live out in the desert like this unless they wanted to be alone.
“Do you not like living out here?” I asked.
“It’s safe. Gives me the ability to lay my head down at night and not worry about the wrong kind of people finding me. Plus, I can sit on my porch naked and no one will know.”
I blushed as my eyes dropped to his chest. I bet he looked wonderful lounging around naked.
“Do you get lonely out here?” I asked.
“Not out here. There’s a loneliness, in general though.”
“What do you mean?”
I watched his gaze unfocus as he backtracked into his memories. His mind was swallowing him whole. I watched it happen. I brought my water bottle to my lips and leaned against the wall, giving him the space he needed to travel whatever journey he was having to travel.
“Some people in life are simply lonely. Not much family. Not good at socializing. Shit like that.”
“Is that you?” I asked.
“You could say that.”
“You seem fine talking to me.”
“Never judge a book by its cover,” he said.
I nodded as I took another sip of my water.
“I had a nightmare,” I said.
Grave turned his gaze to me as I allowed my memories to swallow me.
“I was telling my brother I loved him. That I didn’t mean him any harm.
We sort of raised ourselves. My parents weren’t really parents.
Back when Rex and I were younger, my parents were constantly drinking and into drugs.
I had to drop out of school at fifteen to take on a full-time job to make sure Rex and I could eat. ”
“Shit. I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s in the past. I eventually went back for my GED, but it didn’t do me much good.
I had no aspirations for college and was doing pretty well at the grocery store.
But I couldn't do everything, you know? I couldn’t work a job, pay bills, keep my extra cash out of my parent’s hands, and raise Rex.
In some ways, I left him to fend for himself, and I feel responsible for how he turned out. ”
“A shitty childhood doesn’t excuse shitty decisions,” he said.
“I wish I could believe that.”
“What happened in your nightmare?”
I felt my eyes water as I took another sip of my water.
“They were chasing me. Rex and his buddies. Swiping at my skin with knives. I was trying to run towards the stars, but they got to me. Like I wasn’t running at all.
Rex was straddling me and all the stars were falling to the ground.
Burning up everything in sight. And all I saw was the hysterical anger of a scared nine-year old boy before he rose the knife above my body. ”
I was shaking trying to tell Grave about my dream.
“I failed my brother,” I said breathlessly. “I failed him, Grave.”
“No, you didn’t. Come here,” he said.
He took my water and set it down before wrapping his arms around me.
I fell into his bare chest, startled by the feel of it underneath my hands.
How the hell had I not realized he was shirtless?
I could feel my cheek pressing into the divots of his muscles as his arms cradled my back.
The warmth of his skin blanketed me as I cried into his body.
His muscles draped around my curves, stabilizing them as they careened out of control with my sobs.
I pressed deeper into him, fueled by a want to be as close as I could to the strength he so naturally housed.
I ran my hands down his torso, my fingertips falling over every bump and taking in every line of etched strength before it disappeared beyond his pajama pants.
“You’re not responsible for how your brother turned out,” he said into my hair. “And nothing like that is going to happen to you. Not on my watch.”
“I should’ve looked out for him.”
“And you did. By giving up your own damn education to get a job like your parents needed to. You fed him. Clothed him. Paid bills and shit so he could keep going on. You probably even guarded him from how high your parents were at any given moment, didn’t you?”
“I tried,” I said breathlessly.
“Not your fault he decided to take another route to deal with his anger. And even then, that didn’t mean he had to kill someone. I’ve been the protector and enforcer in my club for a long ass time, and I’ve never willingly killed anyone.”
I furrowed my brow as I fluttered my gaze up to his face.
“Have you killed people?” I asked.
Grave’s arms fell from my body and he took a step back.
My eyes were able to get a good look at him.
At the defined muscles that stretched along his body.
I ran my eyes down the strong chest he donned before taking in the pads of muscle that disappeared behind his pants.
Those two thick lines, indented with strength that led straight to a place I couldn’t take my eyes off of.
I swallowed hard and forced my gaze back to up Grave’s.
Back up to those mesmerizing eyes that held so much regret.
“Never intentionally,” he said. “But yes. There have been occasions where I’ve killed to protect someone I care about.”
I nodded, digesting his words as I leaned back into the wall.
I felt my eyes growing heavy again as my head rolled back.
I drew in a deep breath through my nose, trying to calm the swirling of my mind.
I tightened my grasp over my chest as I felt my nipples engorge.
Just being in the presence of him without a shirt on was making me struggle between my urges.
The urge to sleep and the urge to touch him.
The urge to press him with questions and the urge to silence him with my lips.
“Are you okay?”
His voice was like velvet against my skin, and it did nothing to quell the fire rising up my spine.
“Yeah. I’m okay. I think I just need more rest,” I said.
“Well, I’ll be out here if you need anything,” he said.
“Thanks. And I’m sorry. You know, for waking you up.”
“Don’t be. Get some rest, Everly.”
The way my name fell off his lips, it stayed with me.
Long after I had slipped into bed and been pulled back into the darkness.
But instead of seeing Rex and his gaggle of friends wielding knives, I saw Grave.
With his chiseled form and his shirtless body standing over me.
Hovering, my body on complete display to him as his eyes raked over my naked form.
“I’m here if you need anything,” he said.
“There is something you could help me with,” I said.
“Anything.”
I felt his hands caress up my leg, dipping between my thighs and keeping itself there. Hovering over where I wanted him most. Like he was wanting me to beg.
I spread my legs for him and he grinned as his muscles throbbed with want.
“Help me forget,” I said breathlessly.
And as if the heavens above had granted me my one wish, I felt his thick finger slide into my damp heat