Chapter 10 Piper
PIPER
“No! Rock! No tickling!”
“I’m gonna get you,” he said.
“Aahh!”
“The dinosaur’s gonna get you!”
My son barreled around the house with Rock quickly on his tail.
I let Beau in just before I started cooking so he could join in on the fun.
Every once in a while, I peeked over my shoulder and saw something that shocked me every time I looked at it.
Rock would be flying Gavin in the air or tossing him up to the ceiling or chasing him around and trying to tickle him.
For a man who professed time and time again that he didn’t want kids, he was good with kids.
I chopped up the vegetables and threw them into my wok.
A bit of sesame oil and some butter, then I started tossing them around.
I watched as Rock rolled on the floor with Gavin and I giggled when my son started riding him like a horse.
This massive man with dark eyes and a penchant for adrenaline roared around the house with my son on his back while being licked in the face by my pit-bull.
It was almost too much for me to process.
I chopped up the chicken and tossed it all in before adding the rest of the seasonings.
Stir fry was my son’s favorite meal. He’d never been a picky eater as an infant, so I introduced him to all sorts of things.
Avocados. Sweet carrots. Blended red peppers with watermelon.
All of the weirdest combinations I could come up with in an attempt to broaden his palette and try to stave off that ‘picky eater’ syndrome many mothers I knew got stuck with.
And it worked.
“Come get me, Rock!”
“Where did Gavin go? I don’t see him?”
“I’m right here, Rock!”
“I don’t know. I hear him, but I’m not sure where he--... there you are!”
“Aaahh!”
And then my kid took off screaming again.
I giggled at the stove as I shook my head.
Every once in a while, the walls of my house would shake and I would hear Rock say ‘are you all right’?
And that question coming from his lips warmed my heart.
Gavin could get so wrapped up in his play time sometimes that he would find himself running into walls and tumbling off couches.
But feeling the rumbling of my childhood home meant Rock was doing everything in his power to make sure my son didn’t get hurt.
Guilt flooded the pit of my gut as I turned the stove off.
For years, I’d convinced myself he was no good.
I had convinced myself he was nothing but an angry abuser who was fine for a good time but not fine when it came to raising a child.
Having a family. Staying dedicated to a woman.
So, when I found out that he had willingly gone to jail protecting the man I knew was the only sliver of family Rock had, reality dawned on me.
Rock was nowhere near the kind of man I had assumed him to be.
I pulled out plates and filled them up with food. I set them at my small kitchen table, then proceeded to get us some drinks. Milk for Gavin, water for myself, and a few different choices for Rock.
But I had a feeling he would dig around in the fridge for a beer.
“Come and get it!” I exclaimed.
Footsteps rumbled down the small hallway before Gavin rushed to his seat. Rock came around the corner with his eyes hooked on his son and a small grin on his face. Sweat permeated his brow as he turned to me, connecting those salacious gunmetal eyes with mine.
“Smells good,” he said.
“Go ahead and eat up,” I said.
“Mommy, guess what?”
“What’s that, sweet boy?”
I sat down next to my son at the kitchen table as Rock sat in front of me.
“Rock kept chasing me around, so I hid from him. And then he couldn’t find me, so I ran off and hid somewhere else. And he couldn’t find me again until I reached out and grabbed his ankle.”
“It was a good tactic,” Rock said. “I’ll have to remember it for next time.”
“But you can’t fit under the bed,” Gavin said.
“But I can fit in your closet,” Rock said with a grin.
“The stuff of nightmares,” I said, giggling.
His eyes gravitated back towards me before they danced along my face.
“Can Rock stay and play some more?” Gavin asked.
“Well, now that you’ve officially proven that he’s feeling better, I’m sure he has some things he needs to get going and doing,” I said. “Like work.”
“You work?” Gavin asked.
“I do,” Rock said.
“Where do you work?” my son asked.
“Skinned and Skulled Mechanic Shop,” Rock asked.
I winced at the name as my son gasped.
“You fix cars? That’s so cool! I wish I could fix cars,” Gavin said.
“Then maybe I could bring a car over one day and show you a few things,” Rock said. “If that’s all right with Momma.”
“Please, Mommy? Please, please, please, please, please?”
My cheeks flushed as Rock graced me with one of those playful grins of his.
“We’ll see, okay? I promise,” I said.
“Aww, that always means ‘no’,” Gavin said.
“Then you need to listen to your momma,” Rock said.
“She’s no fun,” Gavin said.
“Hey, look at me.”
I looked over at Rock just like my son did. I watched him eye Gavin with a hardened stare that forced Gavin to focus on him. I furrowed my brow as Rock reached out, placing his gigantic hand over my son’s.
“Momma’s always have reasons for what they do. Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you get to disrespect her. I know for a fact your mother is tons of fun. But she wants to do right by you and make sure you’re safe. Now apologize.”
My jaw dropped in shock before my eyes panned over to my son.
“Sorry, Mom.”
“It’s okay, sweet boy,” I said. “If you want to learn how to fix cars, then we’ll find a way to do it. I’m not sure about bringing some beat-up vehicle here, but we’ll figure out something. Okay? That’s all I meant.”
“Really?” Gavin asked.
Watching his eyes light up only made him look more like the man holding his hand.
“Really,” I said with a smile.
“You’re the best, Mom!”
“I love you. Now eat. It’s time for this lunch you pestered me about so much,” I said with a wink.
We ate in relative silence as appreciative hums filled my small kitchen.
Rock went back for seconds and my son followed suit, and watching them together only served to solidify the fact that the man might as well have carried him for nine months on his own.
Getting Gavin around his father only erased the small little bits of me he had.
They walked the same. Smiled the same. Even held their silverware the same.
It was uncanny.
A cell phone rang out and I watched Rock shift at the table.
He looked at it with a furrowed brow before taking the call, then got up and walked away from the table.
Gavin’s eyes followed him before he tried to get up from his chair, but I reached my hand out for him and caught him before he ran after the man.
“Where’s he going?” he asked.
“He’s talking. That’s it. Finish up your food, okay?” I asked.
But I knew who was calling. And I knew what was about to happen.
I didn’t focus on the conversation. All I focused on was my food.
I didn’t want to hear what they were talking about because I didn’t want to ruin this moment between our family.
I picked at my plate as my hunger dissipated, so I reached for my water and took a few sips.
I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes while Gavin cleared his plate, then he rushed to toss it into the sink before running off to find Rock.
His heart was about to be broken.
“Where are you going?” Gavin asked.
“Remember that work I told you about?” Rock asked.
I pushed away from the table and started for the foyer.
“Yeah?” Gavin asked.
“They called. I gotta go in today,” Rock said.
“But you’re sick. Right?”
“Well, you proved to me that I’m feeling a lot better. So, I’m going to go in and try to knock out some work with my colleagues.”
Colleagues.
An interesting name to use for his club.
“Are you going to come back?” Gavin asked.
Rock’s eyes panned over to me before he crouched down to eye level with his son.
“If Momma lets me, then sure,” Rock said. “I’d be glad to come back over.”
“Can he, Mom? Please!?”
“Can you go upstairs, sweet boy?” I asked.
“Mom, don’t chase him away. I like him,” Gavin said.
“Upstairs. Now.”
“Mommy, don’t do it. Make him stay,” Gavin said.
“Listen to your mom,” Rock said.
“But she always does this! A nice guy comes around and then she talks to them and I never see them again! Why can’t he stay, Mom?” Gavin asked.
“Because he has to go to work, honey,” I said.
“But he’s sick.”
Tears rushed my son’s eyes and it shattered my heart.
I felt Rock’s stare running up and down my body as I scooped my son into my arms. He was tired.
He always got that way after a full stomach.
I walked him up the stairs and settled him down into his bed as tears poured down his cheeks.
I tucked him in and brushed the tear trails away, then kissed his forehead before nuzzling my nose against his.
“Don’t make him leave,” Gavin said.
“I love you, sweet boy.”
I turned off the lights and shut his bedroom door as my heart fell to pieces on the floor.
I made my way back downstairs and watched as Rock tossed his leather jacket over his shoulders.
The emblem of the Dead Souls was emblazoned on the back of it and I knew I had made the right decision all those years ago.
Maybe Rock wasn’t an angry son of a bitch.
Maybe he wasn’t an aggressive man. But he was part of a gang.
A motorcycle crew that constantly delved into the illegal and dark side of life.
That was no place for a child. Or a mother.
“Was that the lodge?” I asked.
Rock looked at me over his shoulder as I leaned against the railing of the stairs.
“Nice guys?” Rock asked.
“Don’t do that,” I said.
“Gavin was the one that said it. Not me,” he said.
“Was that the lodge?” I asked again.
“More or less.”
“So, you really are still part of them.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Except for with my son.”
I bit down onto the inside of my cheek as he fluffed out his coat. He turned around to look at me and I saw the curiosity rolling around in his stare. And I knew he wouldn’t stop looking at me like that until I fed him the answer he wanted to hear.
“I’ve dated twice since Gavin was born. The first he met on accident, the second brought him a gift. Gavin thought they were nice, but they weren’t,” I said.
Rock’s jaw clenched as his hands curled into fists.
“I’m fine. He’s fine. We’re all fine,” I said.
“I’m not fine,” Rock said. “But I also have to go.”
“I figured.”
“I’d like to see you and Gavin again.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I said.
“Why? Because I’m still part of my club?”
“One of many, yes.”
“I want to be part of my son’s life, Piper.”
“And it’s going to take more than an hour of playtime to prove that, Rock. Being a parent is more than running around before rushing off to ride bikes with friends.”
“You know damn good and well that isn’t what we do.”
“Yeah. I know. And that’s what scares me. I’m not sure you’re capable of protecting us from the life you lead,” I said.
“You what?” he asked.
“I’m a mother now, Rock. It isn’t just about me any longer. I have to protect my son.”
“From his father?”
“No,” I said. “From the life his father leads.”
Rock took a few steps toward me before looming over me. Looking down upon me with that hardened stare of his. But Rock didn’t scare me. He never had. Deep down, he was a sensuous and caring man. But his jagged edges and his tainted history hardened him to the world that existed around him.
I couldn't take the chance that my son would reap the negative benefits of the life Rock led.
“I’ll prove to you it’s a good idea,” he said. “I want to be a part of Gavin’s life, and I think I have the right to fight for that.”
“If that’s how you feel, then that’s fine. But right now? It’s not a good idea. Not with the life you lead, not with the life I lead, and not with the life it will throw Gavin into.”
“We’re changing, Piper. Cleaning up our act,” he said.
“Then do that. Clean up your act. Become more legitimate if that’s what you want. But until I know my son and I will be safe, I can’t let you around him. I’m first and foremost a mother. And that means I have to protect my son.”
“Even at his expense?”
“Especially at his expense,” I said.