Chapter 6 Brynn
brYNN
“Brynn? You home?”
I heard my father’s voice echo through the downstairs as I sat on the edge of my bed.
My father hadn’t changed a damn thing about it.
My softball and swimming trophies were still on the mantle.
My bedspread was still green and purple and pink.
The full-sized bed sat in the same damn place against the same pale yellow walls him and I had painted one weekend on a whim.
Even the tie dye rugs in my bathroom hadn’t been touched.
It was as if I walked out of the present and straight into the past.
I drew in a deep breath as I heard my father come up the steps.
“Figured I’d find you in here,” he said.
“Didn’t you change anything?” I asked.
“Couldn’t step into the room once you left.”
I panned my gaze over to him and sighed.
“I don’t have a lot of energy in me to fight right now, Daddy.”
“Then don’t. Marry Diesel.”
“I’m a grown ass woman, Dad. You can’t force me to marry someone. This isn’t the olden days. I’m not your property to sell away for a deal.” Anger coursed through my body as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I know I can’t force you, but I’m hoping you’ll at least consider it,” he said.
“Why?” I asked. “Why should I consider marrying Diesel when the two of you could strike a deal without me in the mix? What does this get you?”
“Your protection, princess.”
His eyes looked around my room before they fell back to me.
He blinked a few times, almost as if he had a hard time believing I was sitting there.
Then he breached the threshold of my room and came to sit beside me.
It had taken me years to get my temper under control.
It was something my mentor in culinary school had worked hard on.
He always said ‘your emotions show in your food. Love it, and they’ll love it.
Hate it, and they’ll hate it. But get angry at it?
And they’ll get angry back.’ I worked day and night to control the temper I’d inherited from my mother.
That dynamite explosion that happened the second someone attempted to question me.
I couldn’t run a kitchen like that, I wouldn't be able to take direction like that, and I sure as hell would never be able to own my own restaurant like that.
“You know I can protect myself,” I said.
“You need more than that.”
“Because I’m a woman?”
“Because you’re outnumbered. Princess, it wasn’t just Rex that came for you that night. It was his whole damn gang. And it took all of us there that night to get them to back down. He was just a teenager back then. Now he is a part of a much bigger club, and he is somehow calling the shots.”
“But marrying Diesel?”
“It’s the only way I know you’ll be safe, princess.
You’ll not only be family to us, but you’ll be family to them.
Family to his club. Two clubs at your side to protect you from whatever the fuck’s about to rain down on our heads.
You wanted to come home after I warned you, so this is the consequence. ”
“I know you want to make sure I’m safe. But I don’t have to marry Diesel to solidify that,” I said.
“It’s the only way I will feel comfortable with this. Knowing that two clubs have strong reasons to protect you.”
“Well, hate to break it to you, Dad. But you’re not the only party involved in this.”
He sighed and slipped his arm around my waist. He pulled me close to him, my head falling to his shoulder.
I knew he was worried. Tense. Determined.
I got my stubborn streak from him. He had it in his mind that this had to work a certain way and I had it in my mind that it didn’t.
The two of us would sit here all fucking night debating this moot point if we couldn’t come to some sort of compromise.
“I know you just want me safe,” I said. “And I’m thankful for that. I’m also thankful you aren’t having me marry one of the guys from your club.”
He chuckled as his lips came down onto my forehead.
“I mean, really. They’re old enough to be my fathers. And those new guys? They look like they would have no clue how to fuck a woman.”
“I shouldn’t have cussed around you so much as a kid,” he said with a groan.
“I wouldn’t be your daughter if you hadn’t,” I said with a grin.
I rose my head up from his shoulder and looked deep into my father’s eyes.
I took in his age for the first time. How weathered and tired and worn he seemed.
The deep-set lines of his crow’s feet and the bags underneath his eyes.
The shock of white hair that had no trace of the blonde I had been accustomed to ten years ago.
The permanent downturn of his lips and the way it sagged his cheeks.
The stress of his lifestyle and the smoking and drinking were becoming evident in his features.
“Don’t make me do this, Dad. There are other ways to do this.”
“I’m only going to say this once, Brynn, because I’m not as strong as I used to be.
You came back, so you follow my rules. Now, I warned you of the danger.
I told you what was going on. And I know you’re strong-willed like me.
But that man almost took you from me once, and that shit ain’t happening again.
You make it work with Diesel, or you go back to Los Angeles. Simple as that.”
I took a long sigh and tried to reason with him.
“Daddy, I won’t marry him simply because you want me to.
Or because your club’s code tells me I need to.
I want to marry out of love. I want to have romance.
I want to marry a man I know will take care of me and treat me the way I deserve.
Who will support me in my dreams and endeavors. I deserve that, Daddy. All women do.”
“I know you do,” he said as he cupped the back of my head. “I know.”
“You know Diesel. He will force his club to protect me even if I’m not his wife.”
My father just stared at the floor. So, I grabbed his hand, and I forced him to look at me in the eyes.
“And Rex? That fucking ass wipe? He shouldn’t still be in control of this. His possible threat can no longer dictate the movements I make with my life. Rex’s possible retaliation will damn sure not be the reason I get married to anyone, much less D.”
My father studied me carefully before he sighed.
“I get that, princess. But you don’t understand everything that Rex has gotten himself into. Unless you at least consider working something out with Diesel, I can’t let you stay in town.”
“I’m not leaving,” I said.
“Then you marry Diesel.”
I threw up my hands in frustration. When had my father become so fucking stubborn? I took a deep breath and tried to calm my anger. I knew I wouldn’t be able to reason with him. I would have to figure my own way out of this.
I looked deep into his eyes, and the fear and pain there made me sick. I didn’t want to cause him any more worry or distress. I hated that he was forcing me to do this, but he was so convinced that this was the only way to keep me safe.
I felt completely backed into a corner with no way to escape.
My only option was to set my own rules for this deal.
If I agreed to work something out with Diesel, that would buy me some time to actually figure a way out of this.
I could stay in Redding, and prove to my father that there no need for so much concern over me.
I was sick of fighting with him. So, against everything screaming inside of me to buck up and fight back, I nodded.
“Fine,” I sighed. “I will talk with Diesel.”
“I can get behind that compromise,” he said.
“Good. Because I was about to default to an old-fashioned bar brawl. Those trophies over there look pretty sturdy.”
A grin spread across my father’s cheeks.
I didn’t want to cause him anymore pain.
I didn’t want to be any more of a stress load on his shoulders than I already had been.
But I also didn’t want to leave him. Not after seeing what the past ten years without me had done to him.
It grayed him. Hardened him. Sickened him.
I saw it all in his eyes. I buried my face into the crook of his neck while his hand rubbed my back, soothing me and rocking me the way he always used to do.
Holy shit, it felt good to be home.
I wrapped my arms around my father and fell into his embrace.
I’d always been a daddy’s girl. Loyal to my core to him, no matter the shit he kicked up.
That man raised me while working through the grief of losing not only his other child, but the love of his life.
Never once did he spiral into his grief and neglect me and never once did he make me feel as if what happened to my mother was my fault.
He was loving. Caring. Strong, but a teddy bear deep down.
I’d be lucky in my life if I were to marry half the kind of man he was.
“Diesel’s got some stiff competition with you,” I said.
“Ah, I’m an old man, Brynn. Cranky. Drink too much. Smoke even more.”
“And you love me with your whole heart,” I said.
“You’re my princess, Brynn. I’d do anything to keep you safe.”
He pressed a kiss to the side of my head before he stopped rocking my body.
I sighed and closed my eyes, preparing myself for him to get up and walk away.
I’d been away from home for an entire decade.
I didn’t want him to walk away. But I knew he needed his space.
Time to think and process all that was happening.
I knew there were things I didn’t know. Things those guys were hiding from me to keep me safe.
Or to not scare me. Or whatever other asinine reason they had for keeping themselves tight-lipped.
I was used to that kind of lifestyle. To getting bits and pieces of their world they had to offer up in order to get me to back down.
Some days, I enjoyed getting on their nerves.
But other days--like this one--I enjoyed giving them a place to rest.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I said as tears flooded my vision.