Chapter 6 Margot
MARGOT
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
I rushed out of my chair and made my way to Bear.
“You need to be in bed,” I said.
“I need to see you,” he said.
“Then, you can see me in bed. Come on, ya big lug.”
The men helped me get Bear back into the room.
Back into his bed. I tucked him in, checking his wounds as I slid my hands underneath the edges of his body.
He was rougher than I remembered. Tougher than the high school boy I’d fallen in love with.
And when I rose up, ready to walk out of the room, he reached for my wrist. He wrapped his hardened palm around my skin, filling my veins with a heat I hadn’t experienced in years.
Not since high school, actually.
“Stay,” Bear said.
I slowly looked over at him before I sighed.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I whispered.
“Guys. Leave us be,” Bear commanded.
And one by one, the guys filed out of the room. Until Diesel closed the door, leaving Bear and myself behind it.
I ripped my hand away from his grip and sat down in the chair next to his bed.
I was nervous to be in front of him again.
Even though he was bruised and riddled with stitches, he was still the same man I’d fallen in love with back in high school.
Sure, he had changed physically. Gotten bigger.
Hairier. He had a beard that covered basically the lower half of his face and his hair was long enough to pull into a bun at the top of his head.
But, those eyes. The softness behind them.
The sternness of the lines around them before those brown orbs reflected those green speckles.
It was my Teddy Bear all over again.
“Thank you for helping me,” he said.
His voice ripped me from my trance. So much lower than I remembered.
And yet, it suited him. The stacked muscles.
The taut, tanned skin. The longer hair. The beard.
The only thing that seemingly stayed the same was the hair on his arms. Even back in high school, they’d been coated in hair.
Fur was what I called it. That always made him grin, and I’d missed way too many classes falling asleep in his warm, furry arms in the back stairwell of that fucking school.
“You’re, uh. You're welcome,” I said softly.
“You look good,” Bear said.
I nodded. “You, too.”
“I see you became that doctor you always talked about.”
“I’m becoming a doctor, actually. Halfway through my first year of residency,” I said.
“That’s good. I’m proud of—”
“All that to say, I would’ve helped anyone, had Piper asked. Even if that person wasn’t you. Which, I didn’t know it was you at the time. Still, that wouldn't have changed anything.”
A grin slid across his face and I cursed myself for rambling.
“I see you still have that ‘ramble when you’re nervous’ thing,” Bear said.
I shrugged. “Some things don’t change.”
“No, they don’t.”
I found his eyes and my heart skipped a beat.
I was shameless when it came to Bear. He brought out a side in me I never did understand.
This giggly, girlish side I never had with anyone else.
Without him, I was a strong, independent woman.
Capable of anything and unwilling to take shit.
But with Bear? In his arms? Swimming in the forest of his eyes?
I was nothing but a delicate, whimsical, clumsy girl.
Whose brain turned to mush and whose actions became clunky because all I wanted was to make him smile. To make him happy.
Even after all these years.
“How’s your breathing feeling?” I asked.
“Hurts,” Bear said.
“And your eye?”
“Hurts, too.”
“Do you feel any shooting pains, or—”
“Margot,” he said.
“Answer the question, Bear,” I said.
He sighed. “No. No shooting pains, no numbing at my extremities, no dizziness, no double-vision, no nausea. No any of that shit.”
I paused. “So, you’ve been through this before.”
“It’s been eight years. We’ve both been through a lot in that period of time.”
I nodded slowly before my eyes caught his again.
And when they slowly slid down my body, I trembled.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
His lips rolled over his teeth, almost like he was trying not to lick his lips.
Oh, I loved it when he did that back in high school.
When he looked at me and envisioned the meal he’d made of me between my legs.
I drew in a deep breath and sighed, leaning back heavier into the chair.
I crossed my legs, too. Hoping his eyes wouldn't linger for much longer.
There were so many things I still didn’t understand about our last fight.
For instance, why the hell Bear started it in the first place.
We were a month out from graduation, and the only thing I mentioned was postponing my entrance into Stanford in order to spend more time with him here.
I gave him all sorts of options. Postponing Stanford.
Turning down Stanford to find somewhere around here to get my medical degree.
I suggested him coming with me, and enrolling into one of the community colleges around Stanford.
And he didn’t budge. It was like he didn’t want to be with me after high school at all.
Yet, here he was. Raking his eyes over me like I was some treat he was entitled to.
All these years, and you’re still just as confusing.
“Why are you involved in all this?” I asked breathlessly.
That snapped his eyes back up to mine. And when our gazes locked, his defensive wall came up. One I was sorely familiar with due to the arguments leading up to our eventually end.
“It’s not as bad as it seems,” Bear said.
“Well, from what Piper tells me, the mafia’s trying to kill you. Are you telling me that isn’t so bad?” I asked.
He paused. “Wait, Piper told you what now?”
“Answer the question, Bear.”
“Yes, this really isn’t as bad as it seems. Now, what else has Piper told you?”
“That things haven’t been like this for a while. Except, when they are,” I said.
“And she’s right, Margot. Things aren’t normally like this,” he said.
“Is this the part where you tell me everyone’s like family? Like she just told me?”
He snickered. “Not my fault if you don’t want to believe it, but it’s true. These guys are family. Their families are my families. Their children are my children. And I protect them like my own.”
“If you’re family, then how do you make money?” I asked.
He paused. “What?”
“Come on. I’m not an idiot. You’re obviously doing fine for yourself.
That leather coat of yours I had to peel off you is genuine.
Those boots are expensive. The denim jeans you’ve got on certainly aren’t from Walmart.
If you guys are like family, then how are you making money when this is all you do? ”
“You mean Piper didn’t tell you that?”
“She told me you guys cleaned up your act and now your money is legal. But she didn’t tell me anything outside of that,” I said.
He sighed. “We cleaned up our act because families started getting involved. The old cronies of this crew started having kids, and they were worried for their family’s safety. So now, outside of a bar or two we run in Redding, we help another crew with protection services.”
I snickered bitterly. “So, you’re guns for hire.”
“That isn’t what—”
“You’re hired to kill people, essentially.”
“Margot, not even kind of. We’re hired as personal security officers and advisors to—”
I held up my hand. I didn't want to hear any more of it. Thankfully, it hadn’t taken me almost an entire year to get fed up with Bear’s bullshit.
My tolerance for it was low. I stood up from my chair and watched him rise up quickly.
He grimaced in pain as I shook my head, stepping over to the foot of his bed.
“Margot, cut the shit,” he groaned.
“No. You cut the shit, Bear. Don’t sit here and try to convince me that you actually kept your promise back in high school. Because you didn’t,” I said.
“Wait, what?”
I scoffed. “Wait, what? Do you really not remember? The massive fight we had a month before graduation. You told me the only way you’d better your life was if I went off to Stanford.
Even though I tried compromising because I loved you and I cared for you, you insisted that the only way you’d get your life together was if I went to Stanford in the fall and followed my passion. Stuck to my plan.”
“And that’s what I did. I bettered my life.”
“Look at yourself, Bear!” I exclaimed.
He sighed as he leaned heavily back against the headboard of the bed.
“Just look at you. Filled with stitches. Scattered with bruises. You didn’t make your life better. You didn’t fulfill anything. You pushed me away because you didn’t want me, and then you got involved with a gang instead of going to college.”
“I did want you, Margot. I still—”
“Shut up,” I whispered.
He fell silent and I forced tears not to crest my eyes. Though, I certainly wanted to cry them. To hell with the tears over this asshole, though. I’d cried enough of them during my freshman year to last me a fucking lifetime.
He didn’t deserve anymore of them.
“You didn’t fulfill your promise to anything.
The only reason why I went along with your plan was because you convinced me it was for the betterment of your life.
Which was what I wanted all along. For you to be good.
And happy. And fulfilled. So, not only did you manipulate me, but you lied to me.
Right to my face, even in the heat of a moment we were having.
After I’d just given my fucking virginity to you, Bear,” I hissed.
“Margot, I can’t have this argument right now,” he murmured.
“Good. Because you didn’t let me have it back in high school. So, I’m not going to let you have it now. It’s not possible for you to care about someone if you manipulate them and lie to them. Do you understand me?”
His eyes met mine and I watched them fill with an angry fire. But I wouldn't let him get the last word in. Not like he did all those years ago.
Because those last words of his haunted me throughout the duration of my education at Stanford.
Go live your life so I can live mine. And when we meet again, you’ll see. I promise you it will be for the better. Just trust me, Margot. Just this once, trust the man you love.
“You told me—”
“I know what I told you!” he roared.
I took a step back from his bed as the door behind me ripped open. The guys poured into the room, gathering around him and effectively shutting me out. Bear called out for me. I watched as the guys held him to the bed, trying to prevent him from getting up again.
“Take care of yourself, Bear,” I said softly.
And I heard him shouting my name as I backtracked out of the room.