Chapter 13 Saint
SAINT
I couldn't help but stare at her. When I woke up, I gazed upon her sleeping form and held my breath. I didn’t want to move her. I didn’t want to jostle her. I wanted things to stay like this for as long as possible.
So, I snuggled close to her and let my mind wander.
The conversation last night had been hard.
There were a lot of rough truths I hadn’t considered over the years.
Like, how we really weren’t friends. Or even together, back in high school.
How that would have more than prevented someone like her from asking a stranger like me for help.
But I knew she was still hiding something.
I knew there was something else she hadn’t told me.
Especially after she let slip that she actually tried to go back home.
In some ways, it hurt that she wouldn’t tell me.
And in other ways, I understood completely.
We were still strangers. Maybe strangers who thought about one another—and the time we spent together in high school—a little too much.
But that didn’t mean we knew one another. That simply meant we had a connection.
A connection that spanned over the course of years.
That counts for something, right?
She shifted and I moved with her. I told her I wouldn’t leave her, and I meant that.
But I also told her I’d cook her breakfast. And my growling stomach alone would wake her up if I didn’t put something in it.
I squeezed her softly, feeling her bones melding to my muscles.
I pressed my lips against the crook of her neck, breathing in her musky scent before kissing her skin softly.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I whispered.
Then, I eased myself away from her.
She needed a well-rounded breakfast. Hell, we all did. But, I’d keep my focus on her for now. I slipped out of bed and rummaged around for my jeans, then stepped into them. I pulled them up, fumbled with the button as I walked out of the room, then ran my hands down my bare stomach.
“All right, what to do for food,” I said, sighing.
I yawned as I walked over to the coffee pot.
The most important thing first. We had three coffee pots we always had going in the mornings because all of us could really chug it down.
So, I made sure all three of them were filling up before I started making breakfast. I started with the eggs.
I made an entire dozen of them before moving to frying up a package of bacon.
I churned out buttered toast like it was my job, then reached into the fridge to pull out some fruit for a salad I wanted to make.
Until I heard the soft pitter patter of footsteps sounding against the floor.
I looked over my shoulder and caught her shadow first. She paused at the doorway of the hallway, staring at the table stacked with food.
Her eyes bulged. I watched her nostrils flare before her eyes met mine.
I motioned for her to sit down at the plate I’d put out for her, then went back to slicing up fruit.
But, instead of going to sit down, she approached me from behind.
“Morning,” Amberly said softly.
Her hands slid around my torso and I grinned. Her hands meandered along my abs, her fingertips rumbling over the expanse of them. Her cheek leaned against my back as a yawn left her lips, and to me? There was nothing that felt better.
“Morning,” I murmured.
“Did you make all this for me?” she asked.
I snickered. “Until the guys get up, at least.”
She pulled away from me, and just that quickly I wanted to pull her back.
I also wanted her to eat, though. I finished up the fruit salad and listened as she dipped up food onto her plate.
Eggs and bacon. A slice of toast. I poured her a mug of coffee and got her some water, then handed her the fruit salad.
And once her plate was piled high, I constructed my own.
“Thank you,” she said sheepishly.
“Eat as much as you want,” I said. “Then, I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”
She paused her movements, and I watched her carefully.
It took her a long time to start moving again, and I wanted to know what she was thinking about.
What she had felt in that moment. I gave her a little bit to open up of her own volition.
I mixed some sugar into my coffee, watching as she stabbed at her eggs.
Watching as she filled her mouth. Watching as she swallowed hard, trying to get the food down into her stomach as quickly as possible.
Then, her eyes finally met mine.
“I don’t really have anywhere to go,” Amberly said softly.
“So, where were you headed last night, then?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Vlad’s. I know where it is.”
“Why would you go back to the man that got you into this situation in the first place?”
“I don’t have any other options.”
“You always have options, Amberly.”
She shook her head. “You wouldn't understand.”
“Then, try me. Try to make me understand.”
She scoffed as she stabbed at a piece of cantaloupe. I wanted her to open up to me. I wanted her to trust me with whatever it was she wasn’t telling me yet. But I couldn't force her to do something like that. She had to want to do it of her own volition.
“Amberly, I don’t know what you’re still hiding, but it’s okay. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay,” I said.
She shook her head quickly. “The second you figure it out, you’ll hate me. And I want to enjoy this a little while longer.”
“I could never hate you, Amberly.”
“You hardly know me. It might be very easy. You never know.”
“I do know. And I know I could never hate you after how many times I’ve thought of you over the years,” I said.
Her eyes slowly panned up to mine. “You—thought about me a lot?”
I nodded. “Yes. And now that you’re here, I need you to know that I’ll do anything I can to protect you.”
Her eyes slowly traveled down my torso before they fell to her plate.
She started eating again, but they were mindless motions.
Her memories were elsewhere. Her eyes, unfocused.
Her movements became mechanical, and I gave her the silence she needed to sift through things.
Never in my life could I ever imagine what she’d been through over the past few years.
Never in my life could I ever imagine how she felt right now.
That didn’t mean I wouldn't try, though.
“Amberly?” I asked.
Her head snapped over to mine. Like I’d pulled her from a deep-seated trance.
“It’s going to be okay. I promise you that,” I said.
She nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“You don’t have to believe me. I know that’s a lot to process, in and of itself. But it’s true. I’ll make sure that gets proven to you.”
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me for something like that. Just know you’re safe here. Protected. By all of us, not just me. And you can stay here as long as you like. That room back there? It’s yours until you figure out your next moves.”
She paused. “Are you sure the rest of the guys will be okay with that?”
“You let me take care of the rest of the guys. But yes. I’m sure,” I said.
I slid my foot against hers underneath the table and she practically scooted her chair closer to me.
Our forearms fell together as she started eating again, and I couldn't take my eyes off her movements. I slid my toes softly up and down the side of her ankle. Goosebumps prickled against her arm as she rested it against my own. I grinned as I reached for my mug of coffee, listening as people stirred in the rooms from a distance. I studied her. I took in the thinning parts of her hair she tried to hide with other pieces of hair. I took in the pale nature of her skin. Pale from malnourishment rather than that creamy paleness I’d remembered so fondly.
But those freckles were still there.
That cute smattering of freckles over her nose I couldn't stop kissing the afternoon I gave the whole of myself to her as a teenager.
I picked up a grape and tossed it into my mouth.
And as I felt Amberly slowly leaning closer to my body, I started worrying.
I didn’t want her going back to Vlad. Or whoever the fuck that asshole was.
I didn’t want her to leave. If she did that, I knew I’d never find her again.
A man with a name like that who worked for shitheads like Lars Norden never gave people second chances.
And if he did, those chances were always worse than the situations people like Amberly were originally in.
I knew I’d never see her again if she went back.
Then again, I was still very curious as to why she was considering it in the first place.
What aren’t you telling me, beautiful?
“These eggs are really good,” she said.
I smiled down at her as she looked up into my eyes.
“You can have as much as you want,” I said.
“I don’t know if I can eat much more than this,” she said, giggling.
“Your plate isn’t even half empty, though.”
She shrugged. “Just not used to eating this much in one sitting. I’m sorry.”
I slipped my arm around her and pulled her close to me before kissing the top of her head.
“It’s okay. You eat what you can, and we’ll save the rest for when you get hungry next,” I murmured.
Whatever you’re hiding, I’ll figure it out. And I promise you, everything will still be okay.