Chapter 11
TOXIN
I had to literally bite down on my tongue to keep from firing back at her.
To keep myself from making her apologize to the guys.
Who the fuck was she to disrespect us? I’d brought her here to protect her and keep her from fucking dying.
You’d think she’d be wanting to do me a favor since I saved her fucking god-forsaken life!
The nerve of this woman. I wanted to toss her out on her ass and be done with it.
But Grave motioned his hand down the hallway. With a strange look on his face.
“What?” I asked.
“Well?”
I looked around. “Yeah?”
He snickered. “Go after her, you idiot.”
“Uh, excuse me?”
“Did he stutter?” Rock asked.
I shot him a look. “I’m not going after that woman. She’s disrespectful and absolutely idiotic.”
“You’re going to go after her and you’re going to be nice to her long enough to get her to talk with us,” Grave said.
“Why don’t you have one of the girls do it? Sic Brynn on her. She’s good at tugging on heart strings,” I said.
“You want the woman who’s currently grieving the kidnapping of her fucking husband to do your dirty work?” Knox asked.
“I mean, she’d get the job done,” I said.
Ryker snickered. “You brought her back. Your problem.”
“Whose side are you on anyway?” I asked.
“Toxin, we get it. You’re shit with people. But you need to stop being so forceful with someone who’s so scared,” Saint said.
“Uh, what?” I asked.
“He’s right,” Bear said as he stepped to the forefront. “She’s petrified. That’s easy to see. And you aren’t making things better by talking shit about her and yelling at her and dragging her around everywhere.”
“We saw how you handled her back up the steps to this clubhouse,” Ryker said.
“Unacceptable,” Saint said.
I rolled my eyes. “She’s not scared; she’s a pain in my ass. And has been since the first moment I saved her ass from being raped and she practically spat at me for it.”
“That doesn’t mean she isn’t scared, Toxin. And you know it. You’re the same fucking way,” Grave said.
“I’m nothing like that woman!”
“Actually, he’s right. When you get scared, you get defensive. Mean. Nasty,” Brewer said.
“I’ll bust your fucking teeth out right now,” I said.
“You’re scared right now, actually. Because you don’t think you can handle her. You don’t think you can finish the job. You don’t think you can actually do what you’ve told us you’re going to do, and that means going back on your word. Admitting you’re incompetent,” Rock said.
“Why don’t you get up from that laptop and come say that to my face,” I snarled.
“Or you can listen to us. She’s terrified right now.
And you’re making matters worse. Some people run when they’re scared.
They cower. But you? And her? The two of you fight.
Don’t misinterpret her actions here because you’re shrouded by your own insecurities.
She’s scared. And you’re a dick for making her even more scared,” Grave said.
My nostrils flared. I gnashed my teeth at him. He pointed down the hallway and I rolled my eyes, ready to get this shit over with. I was tired of being bossed around by them anyway. They didn’t know shit about me.
“Fine. But if she continues to fire off? I’m going to bed and someone else is taking over this shit,” I murmured.
“Go. Now,” Grave commanded.
I sighed as I walked down the hallway, making my way toward the room I’d put her in. The door was ajar, and I stood there, waiting for her to open it. Because I knew damn good and well she’d heard me approach.
Until I heard her sniffle.
I peeked through the crack. I watched her hand come up to her face.
Those long, delicate fingers. That beautiful sun-kissed skin.
I saw the glistening tears rushing down her cheeks.
The way she bowed her head and stared at her feet.
Too many times in my life I’d cried alone.
I mean, I couldn't remember the last time I had shed tears as an adult. But as a child?
I did it all the time at the compound.
“Natasha?”
I watched her jump. She leapt to her feet and whipped around, glaring at the sound of my voice.
Great. Anger, again. Was this how everyone interpreted me?
Because she was a pain in my fucking ass, and I didn’t want to deal with her spouting off any longer.
She wiped at her eyes with her shirt before charging the door.
She ripped it open, standing toe to toe with me as she gazed into my eyes. Without barely having to look up.
My god, those legs of hers were long.
“What do you want?” she hissed.
I looked down the hallway and found the guys gathered.
Grave nodded his head, urging me to proceed while the other guys stood there.
With their arms crossed over their chests.
I drew in a deep breath as my eyes came back to hers.
She quirked an eyebrow, her hip settling against the doorway as she waited for my next statement.
“I wanted to… apologize,” I said.
Her eyebrows rose. “Apologize.”
“Yep.”
“For what?”
I sighed. “For… tonight.”
“What specifically about tonight?”
I looked back at them and Rock glared at me. Forcing me to continue.
“Everything?” I asked.
“That’s the biggest cop-out answer every man apologizing makes,” she said.
“Natasha, look. I know you’ve had a rough night—”
“A rough night? Let me fill you in on that rough night. You ripped me from my place of work. That was protecting me, by the way. Hiding me. You come in on your white horse and your stupid tailored suit and fool everyone into thinking you’re a hot shot when you’re not.
You stalk me into a back room, draw a gun on one of our highest-rolling customers.
And then, you drag me here! You won’t let me leave! You fucking take my I.D. off my body!”
“I get it, Natasha.”
“No, Toxin. I really don’t think you do.”
“I’m sorry, okay?”
“Well, your sorry isn’t good enough,” she said.
I growled. “Fine. Be that way. Stay in here for all I care and wallow in your sorrows.”
“That’s exactly what I plan on doing,” she hissed.
I looked back at the guys and they all stared at me with death stares at this point. What the fuck were they angry at? Did they not hear how she was talking to me now that I was trying to give her what she wanted!?
Women. Never happy with anything. Unless you fuck ‘em good enough.
“Natasha, please. I don’t want to go to bed upset over something like this. We all need a good night’s sleep,” I said.
“Which I won’t be getting here because I’m not protected.”
“Of course, you’re protected. And anyway, the fuck do you need protection from?”
She narrowed her eyes. “None of your damn business.”
“I think it is if you expect us to protect you.”
“I never asked you to take me away from that casino tonight!”
“Yeah! Apparently, you expected me to leave you there to die!”
“Toxin!” Grave exclaimed.
I flipped him the bird as Natasha continued yelling at me.
“You yanked me from my place of solitude, you didn’t trust me to handle myself, you dragged me here against my own will, you stole my I.D., and now you want me to be some pawn for your gang? And you want me to not be mad at you!?”
“We aren’t a gang, Natasha.”
“Then, what the fuck do you call yourselves?”
I glared. “We’re a motorcycle club.”
She threw her head back in laughter. Full on, belly-aching laughter. I looked over at the guys and found them grinning. Fucking grinning over what they were witnessing. Well, I hope they were living it up. Because this was the last time I was dealing with this woman.
Even if I had to turn in my leather cut for the rest of this mission in order to get away from her.
“A motorcycle club? Are you serious?” she asked.
“Yep,” I said flatly.
“You call this gaggle of stockpiled guns a club?”
“Wait, what did she say?” Ryker asked.
Finally. It’s clicking with someone.
“Look, I saved your ass back there. And I’m risking everyone’s lives in here—children included—by bringing you back here.
We have one of ours in the clutches of your boss’s boss.
And I figured you could help us. But if you’d rather me toss you out to the wolves and let the mafia track you down?
I’m sure you can handle yourself. Right? ” I asked.
Natasha scoffed. “Better than being cooped up with you.”
“Trust me, the feeling’s mutual.”
“You pointed a gun at me tonight.”
“You did what?” Grave asked.
I was caught off guard, though. Not by her statement. But by the sound of her voice. How much it had softened. How sad she sounded in the split second it took her to get the words out of her face.
“I’m sorry, Natasha.”
“You pointed a gun at me to get me to do what you wanted. That makes you no better than the man you supposedly tried saving me from tonight.”
“Hey, I would not ever—in any stretch of the imagination—try to take something like that from you.”
She shrugged. “You’re missing the point.
You’ve chronically missed the point all night.
It’s not about comparing your actions. It’s about comparing your wishes.
You want me here. You want me under your control.
You want me to do what you need, and you don’t want to give anything in return.
At least with the mafia, I got paid. And well.
I kept all my tips, and no one ever stepped on my toes.
Ever. Now? I’m locked up. No money. No hope of going anywhere.
No ladder to work my way up. And you still want to shove a gun into my side and force me to do your bidding.
In my eyes? You’re not like the mafia. You’re worse. That’s why you need to apologize.”
Silence fell over the clubhouse. Her words actually forced me to pause. I considered what she was saying. And… she was right.
“I’m so sorry, Natasha. I hate that this is the position you’ve been put in. But you have a chance to save someone’s life. To reunite a family. And if my apology does anything, I hope it pushes you to work with us. Because our leader is out there. Missing. And he deserves better than this.”
She smiled softly. “There. That’s an apology.”
“Does this mean all the noise is done?”
Brynn’s voice caught my ear and I peered over my shoulder. Natasha slipped out of her room, her arm brushing by mine. Causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through my muscles. I held back a groan as she waved at the guys down the hallway. All of them, chuckling as they waved back.
Then, my focus fell back to Brynn.
“I’m sorry if we were too loud,” Natasha said.
Brynn shook her head. “Don’t worry. Toxin’s difficult.”
“Excuse me, since when did this because ‘shit on me’ time?” I asked.
The girls giggled, but neither of them answered me.
“Well, if you guys could keep it down now, I’m trying to keep the kids asleep. And it’s getting pretty impossible with you guys just down the hallway,” Brynn said.
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” Natasha said.
“It won’t. I promise,” I said.
“So, you’re the girl from the casino?” Brynn asked.
Natasha nodded. “I am.”
“Have you ever heard the name ‘Diesel’ being said around there at all in the past couple of days?”
My heart broke for her. She’d been a wreck over his kidnapping, and I didn’t want to cause her any more pain.
I looked over at Natasha and saw tears welling in her eyes again.
Tears I didn’t know if she’d shed or not.
I slowly looked back down the hallway toward the guys.
I saw Grave coming for Brynn, ready to comfort her in Diesel’s absence.
God, when the hell had this become so fucked up?”
“Natasha, this is Brynn. Diesel’s wife,” I said.
“I take it Diesel’s the one that’s been taken?” Natasha asked.
I nodded. “Yes. He’s our president of this gaggle of stockpiled guns.”
She snickered. “I’m sorry about that.”
“I accept your half-hearted apology,” I said.
And when she smiled at me, my heart stopped in my chest.
Are you fucking insane, man?
“It’s really nice to meet you, Natasha,” Brynn said.
“Likewise.”
“I’d stay and chat, but it’s two in the morning and the kids just fell back asleep before I stepped out here. And, thanks to Rock’s signal jammers, there’s no signal around here for a little while.”
“When will those let up?” Natasha asked.
“Probably not for a while,” I said.
“Why not?”
And when I eyed her, she sighed.
“Right. The running,” Natasha said.
“Yes. The running. And if you feel like running again, you should know the nearest gas station with any sort of service, or a telephone of any sort is almost four miles away. So, you might as well get some rest and have breakfast with us. We can figure the rest of it out in the morning,” Brynn said.
“Sounds like you should be running this place instead of Grave,” I said, grinning.
Brynn winked. “Who says I’m not?”
Natasha smiled. “I like her. I want to see more of her.”
I shrugged. “Stick around, and you will.”
“I’ll help you get settled into your room. And the guys can leave you alone,” Brynn said.
She eyed us all carefully and I held my hands up in mock surrender.
“I get it. I get it. We’re not wanted. Which is fine with me, because I’m exhausted,” I said.
“Tired from interjecting your presence into places where it isn’t welcomed?” Natasha asked.
I snickered. “No. Tired of saving stubborn women from themselves.”
And when our eyes met, I found her smiling at me.
With me smiling at her in return.