8. Indie
INDIE
Two days later I found myself standing outside Kiernan’s office door. Amelia had given me the look as if she knew something had gone down between us. What was it with old people and their magic mind-reading abilities?
I could feel her eyes boring holes through my spine and I knocked three times in quick succession on the door, eager to get out of her line of sight.
“Come in,” Kiernan’s deep voice skated over my skin, even with a whole ass wall between us.
I hesitated momentarily before entering the room and gently closed the door behind me.
He looked surprised to see me. Rightly so. I’d ignored his texts and calls since the kiss, a chicken shit through and through. Probably not the best idea being that he was my boss, but it had been blatantly obvious that he didn’t need or want to speak to me in any professional capacity, and thankfully I’d had my tire replaced, so I was perfectly capable of getting myself to and from work. I stuck to the crematorium and pretended this place didn’t exist for as long as I could, but I knew I would eventually have to face him—face the potential awkwardness between us.
“Indie.” He stood.
I took a tentative step toward the chair in front of his desk, nervously twisting the cross necklace around my neck. I wore it not because I was particularly religious, but because religious placations seemed to give a small amount of comfort to the grieving families I spoke with on occasion. I felt like I could use the ability to send a prayer up right about now, though.
As the back of my knees hit the chair, he walked around the edge of his desk and leaned against it. So casually, he towered over me completely oblivious to the fact that my insides were twisted into a veritable Gordian Knot.
He just looked at me, unwavering, and waited for me to speak. I didn’t expect any kind of power play from him, but his dominating presence had me even more on edge than I was before walking into the room.
It didn’t matter. I would have to suck it up.
There was no getting around this. We needed to talk about it so that we could move on and redraw some professional boundaries around ourselves. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but I think it meant too much—to both of us.
I’d played the scenario over and over in my mind. How he’d seen the desperation on my face and acted even though he had no idea just how desperate I was.
For months, Mark had been lurking in the shadows. I knew it was foolish to keep quiet about his persistent pursuit, but I couldn”t bring myself to admit how vulnerable I had become. Every day felt like a game of cat and mouse, with him always one step ahead. Leaving notes on my car that were written on pictures he’d taken of me when I was certain I had been alone and safe. Damaging my belongings for whatever reason, probably because it made him feel like he had a small amount of power over me. I’d refused to buckle under the pressure for so long. But now I felt so much regret because now that he seemed to be willing to pop up even when there were others around, I was beginning to realize just how deep I had fallen into his twisted obsession and I wasn’t sure where to go from here.
Not even Owen knew how terrified I was of Mark, or the things he’d done since I’d met him that had made me feel that way.
And yet… Kiernan acted without hesitation; he’d helped me without question.
But it couldn’t happen again.
I knew he had only been trying to help me out, but my stupid heart couldn’t seem to tell the difference between a real kiss and a kiss that happened out of necessity. I needed to make it clear to him that just because I’d had his dick down my throat and his tongue roaming the inside of my mouth multiple times now, it didn’t mean we could casually do this kind of thing.
He was my boss.
It was out of the question.
No matter how desperate I was to have Mark think someone else had a claim on me.
No matter how much we both wanted it. Not that I would ever admit that to him.
He quirked an eyebrow, still waiting for me to speak.
“So…” I trailed off.
“So?”
“About the other day,” I continued.
“What about it?”
“The…” God I hated how anxious I was about this. Especially because the day we’d spent together hadn’t made me anxious at all. He was so easy to be around. It was… comfortable with him.
“Kiss?” he prompted.
I cringed.
“Indie. It’s fine. I was just trying to help.” Something about the way he said that and the look on his face told me that didn’t ring entirely true. “It won’t happen again.”
He didn’t want that. I could tell. He was just saying what he knew I wanted him to say.
I felt squirmy. The way he looked at me… like he might devour me whole. “Good,” I said. “Great, even.” I stood. “I’ll just… go.”
Wow. We really talked that out. So much talking. Expert-level chat.
Standing had put us toe to toe and he looked down at me as if he could read my mind. As if he knew I didn’t want to go. As if he knew I didn’t want to draw this box around myself in the name of professionalism.
“Wait,” he growled. His long fingers gently wrapped around my wrist, that small gesture threatening to unravel my barely there resolve.
He pulled me against him and turned our bodies so I was caged in against the side of his desk, his arms on either side of me.
“It won’t happen again,” he repeated. He ran his nose along my temple, his minty breath feathering over my cheek. He pulled back, gazing down at me. “If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t want it.”
My breath hitched. “I…”
“That you don’t want me.”
“We can’t, Kiernan.”
“Give me one good reason.”
“You’re my boss.” That reasoning felt weak with his body this close to mine.
“And?”
“What if it all goes wrong? I can’t lose this job.”
“What if it all goes right?” he asked, wrapping one hand around my waist, and pulling me closer.
His fingers ghosted up my back, then threaded through my hair, his other hand kneading my hip. I wanted him to squeeze so hard that it would leave a mark, evidence that his hands had been on my body. The clean, masculine scent of him seeped into my pores and suddenly all of my reservations disintegrated into nothing.
I couldn’t think of a single good reason why I shouldn’t beg this man to fuck me right here, and if he asked me, there would be no part of me that could say no.
I wanted him inside me more than I wanted my next breath.
Fuck this job and anything else that might stand in the way of the two of us coming together in all the ways we both so desperately wanted.
His hand slid up my side, stopping at the edge of my breast, his thumb running along the underside of it. “Tell me you don’t want me, Indie.” He seemed like he couldn’t help but want to touch every part of me. “Tell me to stop. Tell me to take my hands off of you right now and I swear I’ll never touch you again.”
That sounded terrible.
There was a small lingering worry that this was a bad idea. That if I took this leap, there would be no turning back. And when—if—it all came crumbling down around us, I would be the one to go. To walk away from this job I loved and be forced to start over.
Again.
I knew what it was like for relationships to go to shit. For people to end up being so much different than you expected them to be. Dangerous, even.
He angled my face toward his, the tug at my scalp fucking up every part of me. He dipped his head, his lips close enough to mine that they felt like they were already touching, even though they weren’t.
He wasn’t overpowering me despite the way he maneuvered my body. Like he owned it. I was in control here.
I was always in control with him, no matter how out of control he made me feel.
He waited for me to decide what came next. Whether I wanted to dive in head first or walk away for good.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I flicked my tongue over the center of his lips, teasing. Taunting.
And he snapped.
His lips crashed against mine as if he’d been waiting for this homecoming since that first day we met. Sure, we’d kissed twice since.
But this was different.
Thiswas like that first time.
Needy. Desperate.
He grabbed two handfuls of my ass before lifting me onto the solid wood surface and settling between my thighs. My skirt bunched at my hips of its own accord, baring my pussy to him.
He groaned, his head falling back as if the fact that I wasn’t wearing panties was unexpected and everything.
He should probably get used to it. I pretty much never did.
His head dipped again, sucking at my pulse point. “Can I?” he asked, and it caught me off guard. “Please.”
“Yes,” I sighed, greedy for whatever he wanted to give me.
And then he fell to his knees in front of me, which was not what I expected at all.
I tensed and he noticed, pausing as he looked up at me with his long fingers wrapped around each one of my thighs.
“Is this okay?”
He looked like he might die if I said no.
“I…” I hesitated. “I’ve never…”
I couldn’t finish the sentence, a little embarrassed to admit out loud that I’d never had someone’s face this close to my fine china before. Worse, even, that I’d never gotten off with anyone but myself and I wasn’t sure I could.
“It’s okay, pretty girl.” One of his hands slid up the inside of my thigh. “I’ve got you.”
I leaned back on my hands, my head falling back as he slipped his middle finger inside me and nipped at my clit.
“You don’t have to—” My words cut off with a gasp as he ran the flat of his tongue over every inch of my seam and slowly pumped his finger inside me.
“My mouth on your sweet cunt is the only thing I’ve been able to think about for the last fucking year,” he said before sucking my clit between his lips. A heat inside me buzzed against my skin, threatening to burst free. “How nothing and no one could ever live up to the image of you on your knees for me. For a stranger. Because you needed to not think. To forget.”
He moved his finger from my entrance to my clit, and a deep ache formed at my center, begging to be filled with something to come undone around.
I needed his dick and I wasn’t above begging for it.
“Kier,” I moaned. He circled my clit in just the right way.
“And where was my distraction when I needed to forget you, Indie?” he asked, bringing me to the edge of oblivion and shoving me over.
My entire body went taut then limp in the span of a few seconds that felt like an eternity in my mind. My vision darkened around the edges as I came harder than I’d ever been able to accomplish on my own.
Once my soul re-entered my body, I found Kiernan standing between my thighs again. I fumbled with his pants, his lips desperate against mine again as I wrapped my fingers around his thick cock.
His hips jerked. “We probably shouldn’t,” he said, his breathing labored as he seemed to realize where we were.
I pumped his length, unrelenting as I said, “Yeah. Probably not.”
He pulled my hand away, bringing my fingers to his lips. He kissed the tips of them as he gripped his length and nudged at my entrance.
“Very unprofessional,” he said, now angling my hips.
“It’s inappropriate, really,” I teased, and he shoved into me, the thickness of him stealing my breath.
I clenched around him, his deep chuckle cutting off at the feel of me. His hips canted once, and then he was pounding me relentlessly as if he couldn’t control himself any longer.
He was wild—erratic—and I gripped his forearms in a way I hoped would leave bruises behind. Not only did I want him to leave his mark on me, I wanted to leave mine on him.
He was gorgeous, his face cut from stone—the way it twisted in pleasure as he came inside me.
Nothing had ever felt so right as our bodies coming together, and he looked at me in awe as if maybe he felt it too.
Maybe it was that I’d never come with anyone before that made it feel so special, but that thought didn’t quite fit the emotion I felt just right either.
It was something else entirely. Something I was afraid to name.
I waited for him to pull out of me, but he didn’t seem eager to do so as he pressed his lips to mine. It was soft. Reverent.
My heart pinched.
Then my pussy clenched for a whole different reason when Amelia rapped at the door.
We both stilled, his lips still on mine as she said from the other side of the door, “Sorry to interrupt your... uh... meeting, but you have an urgent call that needs to be taken.”
Her interruption was like a bucket of ice water being poured over us.
“We’ll be finishing up in just a few minutes,” he called back, and I wondered if she knew exactly how this meeting had gone.
I pictured her face twisted in abject horror as she padded back off to her desk which was definitely within hearing distance of all we’d just done.
I cringed and prepared to slide off the desk as Kiernan righted his pants.
His hands snapped to my hips, stopping me from doing so as he dropped to his knees again. “As much as I’d love to see you walk out of here with my cum dripping down your thighs, it would be so very unprofessional of me if I didn’t at least clean you up.”
My eyes widened at his meaning.
“I told her we’d be a few more minutes. Now lean back.”