Chapter 18
Matteo
I’ve never lived with a woman, never wanted to.
I always imagined living with someone would aggravate me.
I like my space. I like my routine. Sure, I lived with my brother for years, but he didn’t tell me what to do.
And most women I’ve spent time with want to control me, and I don’t like being controlled.
But living with Dani is unlike anything I could’ve imagined.
For one, rather than dreading being around her, I crave her company way too fucking much.
Whether it’s watching TV, talking, working out, and now cooking with her, I enjoy being around her.
And that wouldn’t be a problem if she wasn’t off-limits. But she is.
“Oh my God, Matteo,” Dani moans, taking another bite of her food. “Seriously, this is so good.”
I pause bringing my fork up to my mouth and take a calming breath. This woman—her noises and scent and motherfucking curves for days—is going to be the death of me.
“And you were going to let me cook for you as repayment?” She shakes her head. “You would’ve been sorely disappointed.”
She takes another bite of the egg roll in a bowl that we made and moans again, and I drop my fork, unable to be around her a moment longer.
“I have to go,” I say, standing and taking my bowl to the sink.
I already ate most of it, so it’s not like I didn’t eat my food, but she still looks at me in confusion as I snatch my keys from the counter.
“Is everything okay?” she asks, concern laced in her tone.
“Yeah, I forgot I have a meeting.”
I’m full of shit. It’s six o’clock at night.
There’s no meeting, but if I don’t get out of this house, the bit of restraint I’m holding on to is going to snap, and I’m going to fuck my best friend’s little sister on the goddamn table, right next to her bowl of food, and give her something else to moan about.
When I get downstairs, I voice-text my brother to see if he wants to meet for a drink at the country club, but he replies that one of the twins isn’t feeling well.
He texts back a moment later.
Dominick: You should ask Brielle. She mentioned going to the country club tonight.
With Bri leaving for college at eighteen and then moving to Russia to live with our grandparents after she was raped by Anthony and then forced to have an abortion, thanks to Andrey, it feels like she came home a completely different person.
We talk, but we aren’t close, and I’d like to change that … and I also don’t want to go home.
So, I voice-text her, asking if she wants to meet for a drink at North Harbor Point Country Club.
Bri: You’re willingly going to the country club?
Me: Only for my favorite sibling.
Bri: So, in other words, you asked Dominick, and he turned you down, and I’m your backup.
I bark out a laugh.
Me: Deep down, you were my first choice.
She sends me five middle-finger emojis and then another text, saying she’ll meet me there soon.
When I arrive, I find a seat in the corner of the bar and order a whiskey neat. Bri arrives a few minutes later, sauntering toward me in a tiny black dress and her signature red-soled black heels with her hair and makeup done.
“You didn’t have to put forth all that effort for me,” I joke when she slides onto the seat next to me.
She snorts out a laugh. “I’ll have my usual,” she says to the bartender, who’s looking at her like he wants to eat her.
“One whiskey sour coming up,” the bartender says with a wink.
“Ugh.” I gag. “Did you fuck the bartender?”
She glares my way. “No, we went on a date, and it won’t happen again.”
The bartender places her drink in front of her, and for a few minutes, we sip our drinks, neither of us saying anything.
“So, what’s going on with you?” she finally asks.
When I quirk a brow, she rolls her eyes.
“I know we don’t talk about our feelings in this family, but I’ve been home for almost a year now, and you’ve never invited me out for a drink before.
I know I wasn’t your first choice, but for you to invite me at all must mean you were either desperate for company or you don’t want to go home. ”
“Speaking of home … How are you doing?” I ask, evading her question and the fact that she hit the nail on the head. “I’m sure it’s been an adjustment, being back after being gone for so long.”
“Okay, so we’re going with avoidance. Got it.” She takes a sip of her drink, places it back on the coaster, and then says, “Watch and learn how to properly communicate, big bro. I’m doing okay. It’s sometimes hard, living with Dominick and Peyton and their perfect little family.”
She sighs, and I set my drink down to give her my full attention.
“It’s been over five years since Andrey killed my boyfriend and then forced me to kill my unborn baby,” she continues, “and every day I see Dominick and Peyton’s beautiful babies, I can’t help but think about what my baby would’ve been like.
He or she would’ve been four years old now.
Would they have had my blue eyes or Owen’s brown?
His easygoingness or my drive and passion to want more in life? ”
She sniffles softly. “Don’t get me wrong. I love that Dominick is happy and in love. It’s just that they have what I wanted … what I still want, and now … I just feel so broken.”
“You still want all that?” I ask. “After everything you’ve been through, the loss you’ve endured, you still want what Dominick and Peyton have?”
“Of course!” she says. “Isn’t that the purpose of life? To fall in love and have a happy family and a happy life?”
My thoughts go back to when Dani was being held captive by Enrique, and she texted me, asking what I thought the purpose of life was.
“There’s more to life than that,” I point out.
“Like what?” She raises a single brow. “Money? Control? Power?” She scoffs.
“Life is short, and sure, money definitely makes life more pleasant. But I want love, companionship. When Owen held me in his arms, everything around us disappeared, and it was just me and him and our love. Maybe if I had never felt it, I wouldn’t know what I’m missing, but I did, and I miss it and crave it like crazy. ”
She takes a sip of her drink, and it hits me just how strong my sister is. She’s been through so damn much—shit I tried and failed to protect her from—but she’s still here, sitting next to me, not letting the shit life’s thrown at her bring her down.
“So, why aren’t you dating?”
“I’ve gone on a few dates,” she says. “But most of them just aren’t my type.”
“Like the bartender?” I smirk just as my phone vibrates in my pocket.
I pull it out and click play.
Little Russo: I’m looking for something sweet to eat after our intense workout session, but you don’t have anything good. How do you live like this?
“Who are you texting with?” she asks.
“No one.” I pocket my phone.
“Really? So, you were just smiling at no one?”
“If you must know, it was Dani.” I clear my throat. “Daniella Russo. Lorenzo’s sister. She’s staying with me until Lorenzo gets out or we find that asshole Enrique.”
“Hmm …”
“What?”
“Nothing.” She shrugs, looking smug as fuck.
“Okay, Miss Watch and Learn How to Properly Communicate. Why don’t you properly communicate what the hell your little hmm was for?”
She smirks, and I groan, knowing exactly where her mind went.
“It’s not what you’re thinking.”
Even if a huge part of me wishes it were.
“I didn’t even say anything,” she points out.
“No, but I know what you’re thinking.”
“Because you were already thinking it.” She cackles.
“She’s Lorenzo’s sister,” I say again. “His much, much younger sister. Twelve years younger, to be exact.”
“So?” She furrows her brows like she genuinely doesn’t see the issue here.
“So, she’s off-limits.”
“Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“It’s just … I saw the way you smiled when you read her text. And it wasn’t your usual scary I just did something sinister smile. It was genuine, and it looked good on you.”
She throws the rest of her drink back and stands.
“Where are you going?”
She nods toward a businessman in a suit. “My date for the evening just arrived.”
“You came here to meet up with someone else?” I ask, mildly offended.
“I’m sure as hell not going home with you.” She fake gags.
The guy spots her and walks over. “Brielle,” he says, placing one hand along her back and extending his other to shake mine. “And you must be her brother. I’m—”
“Theodore DeSantis,” I finish for him, standing from my seat, so I’m towering over him.
I make it a point to know all the players in this city.
“That’s right.” He lights up, thinking my knowing his name means he’s important. “I own—”
“DeSantis Investing,” I say, squeezing his hand and pulling him closer to me. “And if anything happens to my sister, you won’t live another day to give anyone financial advice.”
Brielle rolls her eyes. “I can handle myself, but thank you.” She kisses my cheek. “Maybe you should focus on your own love life … or lack thereof.”
I ignore her comment, and after one last glare at Theodore—who looks more than uncomfortable—I have a seat and pull my phone out since it went off while I was threatening that dumbass.
Little Russo: This should be illegal. I burned so many calories today, and this is my reward? Fruits and vegetables. I deserve something good, like cheesecake.
“Would you like another drink?” the bartender asks.
“No.” I stand and throw down a couple of bills. “I need to head home.”
Home …
Not too long ago, I dreaded going home.
Now, I’m looking forward to it.
“Matteo, is that you?” Dani calls out.
“Yes.”
“I’m in the living room. My insides are eating me alive from lack of—”
I hold up a bag from the Italian bakery in town that everyone loves, and she gasps.
“You love me.”
She runs over and hugs me, and even though she’s clearly joking, the thought of loving her does weird shit to me. Shit I have no right to be thinking about.
“Don’t overthink it,” I say dryly. “I just didn’t want your body to eat itself.”
She pulls the slice of cheesecake and plastic fork out and takes her first bite, moaning when the food hits her mouth.
“Oh my God, this is so good. You have to try a bite.” Before I can argue, she’s shoving the fork into my mouth. “So good, right?”
I nod since my mouth is full, then chew and swallow. “So good.” I glance at the paused show on the TV. “Are you watching the vampire show without me?”
After trying a few different shows, Dani came across some vampire show that she’d apparently watched a dozen times and loved. I indulged her by watching the first episode with her, but after a few more, I kind of started to enjoy it, wanting to know what would happen next.
Her brows dip. “I didn’t know you wanted to watch it.”
“I don’t,” I deadpan. “But I’m curious about this Damon guy.”
Dani snorts out a laugh. “Of course you are because he’s as crazy as you are.”
“You haven’t even seen my crazy,” I tell her as we sit on the couch, and she feeds me another bite of the cheesecake.
“Oh, I’ve heard plenty over the years. And I saw online that you’d burned down both of Enrique’s houses.” She smirks. “Crazy.” She leans in. “But I like your kind of crazy. It makes me feel safe.”
My eyes lock with hers, and I swallow thickly, unsure how I feel about her revelation. If she had any real self-preservation, she’d fear me. But at the same time, deep down, a part of me likes that she’s not afraid of me.
“This cheesecake is so good,” she says, taking another bite. “But it could use some berry compote. Oh, and some homemade whip.”
I chuckle at how excited she’s getting over baking.
“I take it, you like to bake?”
“Yes. Cooking? Not so much. But mostly because it’s boring. But baking … that’s my jam.”
“Make a list of shit you want, and I’ll make sure it’s ordered.”
She grins and then leans in and kisses my cheek, and I mentally add body wash to the list, so she’ll stop using mine and smelling like me. I try to think of a scent I’d hate the most, but for some reason, the thought of it on Dani doesn’t turn me off like it should.
It’s because it’s her …
I shake the thought from my head.
She’s off-limits.
For the next few hours, we watch several episodes of the vampire show. I get a few texts from my guys at the port, regarding shipments, but instead of offering to meet them, like I usually would, I delegate and stay on the couch with Dani.
At one point, she moves around so much, trying to get comfortable, that I find myself pulling her into my side.
“Sorry,” she mutters. “I just feel so restless.”
She’s had a lot going on.
Her brother is in jail. Her marriage is a fraud. She’s technically homeless.
And she hasn’t been able to leave my place in days.
“Just breathe,” I tell her.
She inhales and exhales a few times, then lays her head on my shoulder and sighs.
“Thank you,” she mutters. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“And you’ll never have to find out,” I tell her, shocking myself.
We watch the rest of the episode in silence, but when the credits begin and she doesn’t immediately grab the remote to skip them, like she normally does, I glance down and find her sleeping softly.
For a few minutes, I stay where I am, watching her sleep. I don’t agree with my brother’s choice to have a family when it puts them in danger and makes him vulnerable. But a small part of me likes having Dani here, protected in my home, in my arms.
When I’m away from her, I worry about her.
But when I’m with her and I know she’s safe, I feel settled.
And this is why I’ve never wanted to settle down.
Because there are too many factors that are out of my control, and as much as I’d like to, I can’t be with her all the time.
And every moment I’m not, she’s at risk—just like my mom and sister were.
Just like they still are. The same way Peyton and my nephews are at risk.
As I lift Dani into my arms to carry her to bed, my heart clenches in my chest. She’s not mine to keep and look after, yet right now, I really fucking wish she were.