Chapter Eighteen
Rowan
Fuck.
She feels amazing like this—pressed against me and at my mercy. I can still vividly remember the way her pussy pulsed and clenched around me in the woods, and while she was hazy on the drugs. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since I got her here.
She’s here.
In my home.
Seeing her in my space, wearing my collar, and that dreamy expression on her face makes my cock thicken. I’ve never wanted a woman so badly in my life that I’ve resorted to locking her away. Not until Addison Bright.
And I’ll never want another. It’s a striking realization I had to come to terms with during the last few hours of our trip while she dozed off the drugs pumping through her veins.
All for the sake of having her here, I broke the one rule that was nonnegotiable.
I lost myself. I let go of that thin thread tethering me to normalcy, so I could have her.
I can’t go back.
Ever.
Do I regret my decision? No.
It doesn’t erase the guilt I feel for kidnapping her.
I keep trying to convince myself she was going to end up here regardless, but there’s still that lingering thought that I brought her to my home against her will.
For her safety, I’ll do whatever it takes.
After she called the local authorities, I had to do a lot of maneuvering to get us out of that town.
Luckily, we were only two hours away from Columbus.
It made the transition smooth, and with the drugs making her pliant and cooperative, it kept her out of it for a few days while my family and I tied up some loose ends.
I’m trying not to think of the taste I got of her while she was sleeping. I’m already fucked in the head over her.
Loxley is still unaware that I have her friend.
I convinced my brother to give me until the end of the week to tell her anything.
There’s still so much I’m itching to know about Addison.
I don’t want to let this opportunity go.
No matter how wrong it feels to keep her here.
How wrong it feels to keep touching her.
She rears back as if struck, blinking away that dreamy look as her lip curls in a sneer. “Let me go!”
Not a chance in hell, Sunshine.
At least I know that I affect her. She can fight this all she wants, but it won’t change the fact that I’ve left my mark on her. She’s on my radar now and under my protection.
I release the chain and take a step back.
If I want to get to her center, I have to reestablish her trust in me.
It’s going to be tricky, but having her hate me is better than risking her safety.
The South syndicate is under our foot now, but that doesn’t mean they’re neutralized.
Anyone could strike, and I’ll be damned if they fuck with my girl.
“How are your bruises?” I ask, raking my eyes over her fantastic legs. They’re toned and long, the suppleness of her thighs making for my deepest, darkest fantasies.
She’s ethereal. Even when she’s staring daggers at me like right now.
I doctored her cuts up a few days ago, and they’re healing nicely.
I’m pleased with her state. She’s had plenty of time to sleep off the drug, and she doesn’t look like she has any remaining aches or pains.
I make a mental note to take out some aspirin for her since a headache is a nasty side effect that usually follows.
“Forget about that!” She spits, her plump lips twisting in disgust. “You drugged me! Where the fuck am I?”
Right where you were meant to be.
“You’re where you need to be for my protection. You were going to end up here in the end.” I try to reason, but I sound insane to my own ears.
Addison bites her lip, pacing in place. “No. Where is Loxley?”
“Here,” I reassure her. “She’s on the compound with my brother.”
She stops, her eyes flickering to me. “Compound? What are you talking about?”
I place my hands on my sides, looking toward the kitchen. “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat—”
“I’m not worried about fucking food right now!
” She shouts in a rage, stomping her little foot.
It’s highly comical to see her so out of sorts, but I know now isn’t the time to laugh.
Not when she’s staring at me like I’m enemy number one.
“What is this?! What the fuck is going on?” She chokes on a sob before turning away from me.
She places her hands over her face, and it makes my face fall to see her like this.
Any ounce of humor dies as I lift a hand in her direction, only to lower it when I realize that my touch isn’t what she wants. She’s scared and confused.
I rub a hand across the back of my neck, battling my internal turmoil as I gentle my words. “You haven’t eaten in two days—”
“And whose fault is that?” She quips quickly, wiping at the tears I hate to see. Making her cry from pleasure is one thing, but when I’m the center of her sadness, it makes me feel like an incomparable ass.
“I can make dinner and we can talk about things,” I offer an olive branch as I motion to the kitchen. “I know you’re hungry and upset.”
“Understatement of the year,” she mumbles, looking up at the ceiling as she blinks her tears away. “Fine. But I’ll only sit if you promise to stop being so cryptic.”
My brows lift in surprise. “Of course. Sit and ask me anything. I’ll answer.”
I walk over to the kitchen table and pull out one of the dated, oak chairs. She eyes me wearily as she shuffles towards me. She stops a few feet away, pointing to the open kitchen. “Go stand over there.”
I give her a withering look. “Addison, if I wanted to hurt you—”
“You drugged me!” She hisses. “Let’s not discuss trust right now. Either stand over there, or I’m not sitting.”
“Fine,” I grit, stalking to the fridge before I yank out the pack of steaks I bought yesterday. I don’t let my relief show as she eases onto the chair and crosses her legs. She looks out of place at the old table, but as she leans back and lets her guard down, I can’t imagine her anywhere else.
I grab a cast-iron skillet and a cutting board. I’m rarely home, but I ran to the grocery store yesterday while Addison slept. I still have to stock up on things she would like, but what I bought should hold us over for a few days.
I grab some potatoes before opening the fridge again. “Broccoli or asparagus?”
Addison frowns. “Broccoli.”
I nod, pulling out everything I need before washing the potatoes and dicing them. “Questions. Go.”
She thrums her fingers on her knee. “Where am I?”
“Columbus, Ohio.”
When I glance over at her, her eyes narrow. “You know what I mean, Rowan. Where am I?”
I sigh, going back to cutting ingredients. “Columbus, Ohio. We’re twenty minutes from the city limits, and this is a compound that houses the Midwestern syndicate, an organization of assassins who take hits for money. I’m the leader, and this is my home. Would you like the exact coordinates?”
I smirk, but my joke falls flat as Addison nods. “Funny.” She gives me a tight smile that looks far more malicious than it should.
I roll my lips in, biting my tongue. “Next question.”
“Where’s Loxley?”
I motion to the window by the door with my chin. “The cottage to the left. It’s hard to see it from here, but that’s where she lives with my brother.”
Her eyes follow the direction I’m pointing as her hand grips her knee. She worries her bottom lip between her teeth, and I’m jealous. I can still remember the taste of her. It lingers on my tongue, taunting me in my wildest dreams.
“Does she know I’m here?” She asks quietly.
My hands stop before I resume cutting. “No.”
Her eyes flicker to me, and I can feel her stare biting into the side of my face. “Why not?”
“Because she thinks you’re missing.”
There’s a pause in the air before a bitter chuckle leaves her. “I guess I am, huh?”
I set my knife down before dumping the potatoes into a bowl. “I’m not the enemy, Sunshine.”
She hums, the sound condescending. “Then what are you? My knight in shining armor? I watched you kill people, and then you did unspeakable things to me against my will!”
I turn to her, my jaw working. Maybe it’s childish of me, but she brings out something in me I can’t place. I’ve never been this worked up and fucking horny in my whole life.
I motion to my mouth with a hand, my eyes narrowing on her in a taunting manner. “And you came all over my face and cock. Keep running that fucking mouth, and I’ll fill it until your jaw is too sore to keep up with your attitude.”
The apples of her cheeks turn a pretty red shade that travels down her chest. Her brow furrows, but her lips move without sound until she can finally gather the venom she needs. “It wasn’t even that good! Oh, go fuck yourself!”
I take a cocky stance, my eyes half-lidded as my gaze burns into her. “You would like that, wouldn’t you? To watch me fuck myself to the thought of you? Just say the words, Sunshine, and I’ll show you what you do to me.”
She’s speechless. Her mouth hangs open as her beautiful eyes widen. I tilt my head, giving her a warning look before her lips clamp shut and she shifts in her seat.
Not good, my ass.
She’s probably soaked right now.
She crosses her arms over her chest, clearing her throat. “Next question—”
“You never thanked me.”
Her eyes snap to mine. “W-what?”
I step over to her, lazily closing the space between us until I bend down and grip the sides of her chair. She scoots until she hits the backrest, her lips parting as she becomes trapped in my space.
“You never thanked me,” I stress the important words, enjoying this cat-and-mouse game. “For our time in the woods or when you were sleeping.”
Her throat bobs before more sarcasm spills from her mouth. “I’m sorry, but I was drugged and asleep. Please forgive me if I didn’t have the chance to say what you wanted me to.”
“You’re not drugged nor sleeping now.” I counter.
Her eyes narrow. “I’m not thanking you for that. You defiled me.”