Chapter 10
IVY
Iwake to find myself in a four-poster bed; my head resting on plump pillows and covered in sheets made from a white, buttery material that feels like a warm hug. Where am I? The room is gigantic. It has a dressing table, a large built-in wardrobe, and another door, which is ajar, that leads into a sparkling marble ensuite.
I put my hand to my head and groan. I feel like I’ve downed a litre of tequila, and then I remember…
“Daisy.” Her name springs to my lips. I sit up abruptly, and blood rushes to my head. I battle against the heavy duvet swaddled around me and madly look around. There’s no sign of her. “Daisy!”
“Hey,” Seb says. He perches on the end of my bed. Behind him, Bram stands guarding another door. “We were wondering when you’d wake up.”
My vision blurs, but I try pushing through. I kick the covers away and swing my legs around to stand. I have to make sure Daisy is okay. I have to be with her!
“Easy,” Seb says, shuffling closer. “You’re going to pass out.”
“Get away from me!” I push him, then put my hands on the mattress to steady myself after my sudden movement. The room swims before me, and the floor resembles the moving pieces inside a fun house. “I don’t need your help.”
“I know you don’t,” he replies, although he doesn’t sound convinced. Patronising bastard.
“Where’s Daisy?” I ask. “Where are we?”
“We’re at a hotel,” Seb says. “My family always keeps the grand suite at the Royal Duchess available in case we need it. After Beatrice’s funeral, they want me to stay out of the limelight, so they’re happy for me to hide out here. The staff are discreet.”
Well, it sure beats the cupboard they shoved me in like some pre-pubescent wizard at the last house. Against the far right wall, the shopping bags from my previous trip with Freddie are neatly lined up. Anger simmers from within me. That means he’s been in my space.
“Freddie’s here?” I erupt. I’m wearing a fresh pair of blue and white striped pyjamas that aren’t my style. They’re oversized, with the hotel emblem printed on the breast pocket. “I need to go.”
Bram holds out his arms to say, You’re not going anywhere.
I narrow my eyes. “I don’t trust him.”
“You don’t have to see him,” Seb says. “But we want to help. After… what happened…”
“Daisy.” A strangled choke comes from the back of my throat involuntarily, and realisation hits me like a hard slap to the face. “She’s alive.”
“She is,” Seb says, confirming I haven’t lost my mind and started seeing ghostly apparitions.
“Then I can’t be here.” I push myself off the bed and battle to stand. I sway unsteadily on my feet, but I try to persevere. “I need to find her.”
“You can’t do that, Ivy,” Seb says gently. “Not yet. Do you remember what she said to you?”
I gulp, choking back tears as I recall the venom in her tone when she said, ‘There is no space for you in our lives.’
“She didn’t mean it,” I say.
She can’t have. When we were kids, we were inseparable. After our parents died, we did everything together. She was my other half, but now…
Her words rattle around my skull. ‘I could go the rest of my life without seeing you again.’
“She hates me,” I whisper. My knees give away, and Seb catches me, steering me back to sit down. “She fucking hates me.”
I slump forward, and my hair falls to cover my face.
“And Spencer’s still alive,” I continue. The blows keep on coming. “And I have a niece.” A niece called Ivy. An innocent who is the product of a tragedy. “I… None of this… None of this makes sense.”
The shock of finding out my sister is alive is one thing, but knowing she has to protect the man who ruined our lives is another.
“We’ll help you figure everything out,” Seb says, putting his arm around my shoulder to comfort me.
“No!” I shove him off. Bram steps forward, ready to pull him away if he has to. “I don’t need your help!”
“What Freddie did was wrong,” Seb says. “He knows that. He wants to make it right.”
I laugh coldly. I let my Killer Club persona take over and push my feelings away, trying to forget about the crippling pain of seeing Daisy look at me like I was nothing.
“How much did you know about the deal Freddie made with Stephanie?” I ask.
“I…” Seb drops his head in shame. “I… I didn’t think it would go so far. I thought he’d change his mind.”
“Get out,” I scream. “Now!”
“I’m sorry, Ivy,” he says. “I should have done more. I was angry after finding out you lied to us. I thought Freddie knew what was best. I should have said something. I should have stopped him from meeting her. I could have done more.”
Seb can’t hide his emotions well—they’re written all over his face. His blue eyes are filled with regret, but remorse changes nothing. He was complicit.
“That’s a lot of shoulds,” I mock. “That’s just typical of you, Seb.” Words continue to spew from my mouth, and I can’t stop them. “You’re a sheep. You’ve followed orders all of your life because that’s what you were bred for. You grew up in a family that forced you to conform and do what was best for royalty. You tried to escape by joining the Dukes, thinking you’d found a proper family, but it’s pathetic. Freddie is no better than your mother, yet you blindly follow him, even when you don’t agree. You’re not following him because he’s your boss. You follow him because you don’t know how to function unless you’re being told what to do. You don’t know who you are.”
I stop to catch my breath. Seb takes my tirade, letting it soak in. He’s not angry because he knows, deep down, that I’m telling the truth.
He nods sadly in resignation and gets up to leave.
“You’re right,” he says, pausing at the door. “If I could, I’d go back and do things differently. I was hurt and struggling to forgive you, but that doesn’t change anything. All I can do is say I’m sorry for my part in it. I hope, one day, you’ll give me the chance to make it up to you. However long that takes.”
I don’t reply. Bram holds the door for him to walk through. Bram is the only one who has shown me true loyalty. The same man I tortured and whose loyalty I don’t deserve.
As soon as Seb’s gone, I crawl back into bed, suddenly feeling like I’ve done ten rounds in the ring. My energy has been drained. I pull the covers over my head. This dark cocoon is where I want to stay.
Away from the Dukes.
Away from the Club.
Away from the brutal reality that I’m living in a world where the one person I love more than anyone doesn’t want me anymore…