Chapter 14
A t 1:17 AM, the penthouse bathroom clock glowed against the marble walls while Reuben stood motionless before the mirror. Behind him, the shower ran hot enough to fill the room with clouds of steam that swirled around the Italian fixtures, but he hadn’t stepped in yet. Instead, his bathrobe hung loosely from his shoulders as he leaned forward, palms pressed against the cool marble counter, studying his own face.
He traced a finger across his temple, half-expecting to find a mark where Andrey’s gun had pressed. Nothing there. No physical evidence of what had happened, just the memory loop playing behind his eyes; Andrey’s rage-filled face, the spilled vodka soaking the floor, and Nikon’s eyes finding his across the room.
The bathroom door opened, sending a rush of cooler air through the steam. Nikon stood in the doorway, still wearing yesterday’s shirt—sleeves rolled to the elbows, collar unbuttoned, dark circles shadowing his eyes. He held a steaming mug in each hand, the first time Reuben had ever seen the man look this disheveled.
“Planning to steam up the entire penthouse?” Nikon’s voice carried through the door, exhaustion roughening its edges.
Reuben’s eyes flicked to the door in the mirror. “Sorry. Got distracted.”
“Some people drown themselves in liquor when they can’t sleep.” Nikon’s reflection appeared in the mirror behind him. “You prefer to drown the water bill.”
The voice was Nikon’s, but rougher around the edges than usual. Reuben caught his reflection in the mirror—shoulders slightly slumped, the perfect posture gone.
Reuben’s fingers curled against the marble. “I was just about to get in.”
“For the past fifteen minutes?” Nikon moved closer, mugs in hand, the scent of chamomile cutting through the bathroom’s humidity. It was the first time they’d been alone together since the elevator ride after the confrontation with Andrey.
Nikon had spent most of the day after that working from his office at his casino, dealing with the aftermath of his brother’s defection. Meanwhile, Reuben alternated between trying to relax and staring out the window of the penthouse apartment, his restless energy making it impossible to settle.
“Here.” Nikon offered a mug of tea. “Thought you might need this.” Nikon set one mug on the marble counter. “I wasn’t sure if you were actually showering or just...” His voice trailed off as his gaze met Reuben’s in the mirror.
Reuben pivoted away from his reflection, fingers aching from how tightly he’d been gripping the counter. His knuckles had gone white, leaving behind half-moon indentations in his palms. “How’d it go at the casino?”
Nikon’s shoulders tensed beneath the rumpled shirt. “We’re still sorting through the mess. Security protocols, staff loyalties.” His knuckles whitened around his mug, mirroring Reuben’s own tension. “Everyone Andrey ever spoke with.”
The name lingered in the air, toxic and inescapable.
Reuben hoisted himself onto the marble counter. He then claimed the tea, letting his legs dangle as he cradled the warm mug between his palms. The heat seeped into his skin, anchoring him to the present moment. “I keep replaying it. Over and over...”
Reuben’s voice drifted off when words couldn’t capture what played in his head. Those long heartbeats when Andrey’s gun pressed against his head. How everything slowed down; Grigorii’s finger tensing on the trigger, Nikon’s stance shifting from shock to lethal readiness, the smell of vodka. The terror Reuben had felt barely twenty-four hours ago had made everything razor-sharp, every sense heightened.
Nikon moved to stand between Reuben’s legs, close but not touching. His presence filled the negative space like water seeking its level as he rested his hands on Reuben’s thighs. “When he put his hands on you.” The words carried a deadly undercurrent.
“Yes. And... no.” Reuben took a careful sip, buying seconds to organize his thoughts. “It’s more the look on Andrey’s face I can’t shake. Like I was nothing. Just an obstacle.”
Nikon’s jaw tightened, a muscle jumping beneath the five-o’clock shadow that had grown past its usual precise trim. “He never should have touched you.”
There was something raw in Nikon’s voice, something beyond the fatigue and strain of the past forty-eight hours. Reuben studied him over the rim of his mug. The carefully controlled man he’d grown to know would never let himself appear this undone.
“You think I blame you.” Not a question.
Nikon’s gaze dropped to the floor, an answer more definitive than words.
“Nikon. Look at me.” Reuben set his mug aside, sliding his hands along the counter’s edge. “What happened with Andrey—”
“I should have done something earlier.” Nikon’s voice dropped to a near-whisper, heavy with self-recrimination. “I knew something was wrong. I’ve known for weeks. But he is my brother, and I—” He shook his head, lips pressed into a tight line.
The confession lingered, more intimate than any touch. Nikon never admitted failure, never acknowledged doubt. Except now, in this steam-filled bathroom at 1:30 in the morning, with his defenses crumbling like sandcastles at high tide.
“You couldn’t have known he’d go this far.”
“But I did.” Nikon stepped closer, his hands finally finding Reuben’s forearms, thumbs pressing gently against his pulse points. “I’ve seen this before. Men who are eaten up with jealousy, with hate. I saw it in Andrey too. But I told myself he was family. That it would be enough to keep him loyal.” His fingers tightened, not enough to hurt, just enough to emphasize his words. “And it nearly cost me you .”
The naked fear in his tone cut deep. Reuben had watched Nikon face down cartel leaders and rival families without blinking. Had seen him order men beaten with the same casual ease he used for picking out a tie. But that slight shake in his voice? That was new.
“Hey.” Reuben caught Nikon’s face between his hands, forcing those haunted eyes to meet his. “I’m right here. Still breathing.”
“This time.” Nikon’s gaze fixed on the spot where Andrey’s gun had pressed. Invisible to anyone else, but Nikon saw it anyway. “I can’t...” He cleared his throat, searching for words that wouldn’t come.
“Can’t what?” Reuben prompted softly, resisting the urge to fill the silence. With Nikon, patience often revealed more than questions.
Nikon exhaled, the sound surprisingly shaky. “I thought I feared betrayal. That’s what I told myself when I accused you of working with Dmitrii.”
The memory of that accusation still stung, a paper cut that refused to heal. “And now?”
“Now I know what I truly fear.” Nikon’s hand moved to cup Reuben’s cheek, his thumb ghosting over the spot where the gun barrel had pressed against Reuben’s head. “Losing you. Not to betrayal, but to death. All because I hesitated when I should have acted.”
Reuben absorbed the words, feeling them sink into his bones. For months, he’d interpreted Nikon’s possessiveness as control, his protection as dominance. He’d never considered that behind the iron exterior might lurk terror, raw and human.
“That’s why you keep me so close.” Understanding dawned slowly, each piece falling into place: the security teams that shadowed him, the checks on his whereabouts, Nikon’s reluctance to involve him in operations.
Nikon stepped back, creating a small distance between them. His expression shuttered, vulnerability retreating behind familiar walls. “Anyone who wanted to destroy me would only need to target you.” His voice dropped low. “And the thought of someone using you to get to me—of you being hurt because of me—that terrifies me more than anything in my life.”
Nikon’s confession left Reuben momentarily speechless, his mind reeling. In all their time together, through bullets and betrayals and blood, he’d never heard Nikon admit to fear.
“I’m not going anywhere .” Reuben reached out, catching Nikon by the sleeve before he could retreat further. He tugged him closer, refusing to let distance grow between them. “When will you understand? This works both ways—I want to keep you safe, too.”
Nikon’s lips curved in the ghost of a smile. “I know. You proved that yesterday.”
“Then trust it.” Reuben tugged gently on Nikon’s wrist, pulling him back into the space between his legs. The marble counter was cold against his thighs, but Nikon’s body radiated heat as he stepped closer—all solid muscle and barely restrained power beneath his rumpled shirt. Reuben could feel the warmth emanating from him, chasing away the chill of the counter. “Trust me.”
“I do.” Nikon’s hands slid up to frame Reuben’s face, his touch feather-light, as if Reuben might shatter under the weight of his calloused fingertips. “That’s what terrifies me.”
Before Reuben could respond, Nikon’s phone vibrated in his pocket. A flicker of annoyance crossed his face as he pulled it out, eyes scanning the screen.
“Alexei?” Reuben guessed, noting the slight relaxation in Nikon’s posture. The message wasn’t an emergency, then.
Nikon nodded. “Dmitrii’s making inquiries about Andrey through one of our informants.”
Something shifted in Nikon’s expression. It was a calculating coldness that Reuben hadn’t seen before. Not anger, not vengeance, but something more deliberate, like a surgeon contemplating an incision.
“And that’s... useful?” Reuben ventured, studying the subtle changes in Nikon’s body language.
“Very.” Nikon slipped the phone back into his pocket, but the coldness in his eyes remained. “Let Dmitrii think Andrey’s still his man. The longer he believes it, the more he’ll get comfortable. Comfortable men slip up. And we will be waiting when he does.”
The casual “we” didn’t escape Reuben’s notice. While Nikon had allowed him to help with strategy before, this felt different. This was Nikon letting him into the most personal battlefield, the one where his brother had become the enemy.
“Almost forgot.” Nikon’s tone shifted, the tactical coldness warming slightly like metal beginning to soften under heat. The lines around his eyes eased. “Alexei’s been hounding me to let you look at our clean books. He mentioned he could use your brain on some of our more above-board finances.”
Reuben straightened, interest piqued despite the late hour. “What kind of help?”
“He’s been managing an investment vehicle, mostly for laundering, honestly... but he thinks your background could turn it into something more.” Nikon’s expression softened with something like pride. “He can’t stop talking about how you spotted those patterns in Andrey’s money moves.”
Reuben absorbed this, turning the idea over in his mind. All those years at business school, his finance degree, the career his father had destroyed—they could finally serve a purpose. Not just dealing cards or laundering money, but building something legitimate within the Matvei empire.
“So you’re okay with this?” Reuben studied Nikon’s face. “Me and Alexei working together, me getting my hands on all those financial records?” He left the real question unspoken, but his eyes said it anyway: After everything, you’re finally ready to see me as an equal?
Nikon was silent for a long moment, his eyes never leaving Reuben’s face. When he finally spoke, his voice was firm. “I need to be.”
Four simple words, but they contained multitudes. Not just permission, but acknowledgment. Not just trust, but respect.
Reuben felt something shift between them as he looked at Nikon. “I love you,” he said, the three words hitting differently now that they’d torn down the last walls between them.
Nikon froze, his breath catching. He seemed to hear the difference too—this wasn’t just their usual exchange. Reuben wasn’t just Nikon’s kept lover anymore, nor his protected asset. For a second, Reuben thought he’d misread everything. Then Nikon yanked him off the counter and pulled him to his chest.
“Say that again,” Nikon growled, his fingers digging into Reuben’s hips.
Heat pooled in Reubens stomach as he looked up. “I love you.”
Nikon’s eyes darkened, the last of his armor cracking away. “I love you too,” he said, raw and real in a way he’d never been before. “God help me, I love you.”
Their lips met in a kiss that was nothing like their usual carefully choreographed passion. Gone was the cautious give-and-take, the measured escalation they’d perfected over months. This was messy, desperate, tasting of fear and relief and the chamomile tea Nikon had brought. This was falling and flying simultaneously.
Reuben gasped into the kiss as Nikon’s hands slid to his lower back, pulling him impossibly closer until their bodies pressed together from chest to thigh. Reuben grabbed fistfuls of Nikon’s wrinkled shirt, holding on as if he might drown otherwise.
Their teeth clicked once, neither caring enough to slow down. Nikon’s stubble scraped against Reuben’s chin, a rough contrast to the softness of his lips. And when Nikon’s tongue slid against his, Reuben tasted a hint of fear washing away, replaced by something sweeter.
When they finally broke apart, breathing hard, Reuben couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from his chest.
Nikon arched an eyebrow, his lips curving into a smile. “Something funny?” His voice was husky, lower than before.
“No,” Reuben whispered, fingers trailing down Nikon’s chest to the first button of his shirt. “Just thinking about how much I like this version of you. The one nobody else gets to see.” His hands moved with certainty now, undoing each button with practiced finesse. “You know, the shower’s still running.”
Nikon’s blue eyes darkened as he watched Reuben’s fingers work, each revealed inch of skin making his breath catch. He hummed low in his throat, a sound of pure appreciation mingled with hunger. “You’re right,” he murmured, reaching for the tie of Reuben’s robe. “And we shouldn’t waste water, now should we?”
With a swift pull of the tie, Reuben’s bathrobe hit the floor and Nikon swept him up against his chest, strong arms supporting him with ease. A surprised laugh escaped Reuben’s throat as he wrapped his bare legs around Nikon’s waist, the sound turning into a gasp as Nikon carried him into the walk-in shower.
The marble tiles radiated heat from the running water. But it was nothing compared to the warmth of Nikon’s chest against Reuben’s naked body. Nikon’s arms shifted, his grip softening as he eased Reuben downward, guiding his feet to the wet floor. Reuben steadied himself, toes curling against the warmed stone as Nikon’s palms lingered at his hips—anchoring, then releasing as his teeth grazed Reuben’s shoulder, hands sliding possessively down his sides.
Clothes stuck to Nikon’s still-dressed body like a second skin, the fabric turning darker under the shower’s spray. But Reuben got to work removing Nikon’s shirt, shifting in his arms, as his fingers struggled with the waterlogged buttons. Each smooth, shiny button came undone with a soft click, exposing damp skin and a scar slicing across Nikon’s collarbone—a leftover from a knife fight he’d never talked about. Reuben mapped the raised line of the scar with his tongue as Nikon’s belt hit the shower floor. Then the heavy, wet sound of pants followed.
“Fuck,” Nikon growled when Reuben’s palm found him through his boxers, the material transparent with water. His hips jerked forward, a stuttered thrust against Reuben’s grip, steam curling around them as Nikon stood almost bare, every muscle taut as steel cable.
Reuben dropped to his knees, tugging down Nikon’s boxers along the way, the hot shower spray plastering his hair to his forehead as he bent low. The first flurry of Reuben’s kisses landed high on Nikon’s inner thigh, just below his groin. Reuben lingered there, breathing in the clean sweat and hot steam as Nikon’s abdomen twitched.
“Tease,” Nikon accused, voice rougher than the shower’s rumble. His thumb brushed Reuben’s eyebrow, a contradiction to the tension in his bicep.
Reuben hummed against the sensitive skin, loving the way Nikon’s breath hitched. He took his time, lips trailing lower until he nuzzled the tight curve of Nikon’s ball-sac, tongue flicking experimentally. The groan above him vibrated through the tile walls, and Nikon’s grip tightened as Reuben drew one testicle into his mouth.
“Enough.” Nikon’s command cracked like a whip, but his trembling thighs betrayed him. When Reuben glanced up through wet lashes, Nikon’s face was a masterpiece of restraint; jaw clenched, throat working, water droplets catching in his stubble. “Just... now.”
Reuben grinned at the slight pleading tone in Nikon’s voice.
A beat later, the first inch of Nikon’s cock stretched Reuben’s lips, salt and heat flooding his senses. He relaxed his throat as he sucked deeper, the head of Nikon’s dick bumping his soft palate. Nikon’s hips rolled imperceptibly, the blunt pressure of his cock-head triggering a reflexive swallow that made Reuben’s throat flutter. Meanwhile, Reuben’s hands found Nikon’s hips, digging in as he anchored himself, his breath ragged, every shallow inhale carrying the scent of Nikon’s skin.
“Christ.” Nikon’s hips stuttered as his free hand braced against the shower wall. His hips felt like living stone beneath Reuben’s splayed fingers, vibrating with every choked noise Nikon tried to suppress. “Look at me.”
Reuben obeyed, eyes blinking rapidly into the shower spray from above as Nikon set a relentless pace. The man moved with controlled aggression, each thrust of his body steady yet overwhelming. As they locked eyes, Nikon’s thumb brushed Reuben’s cheek, before moving to grasp Reuben’s hair.
“That’s it. Take me deeper.” Nikon rasped as his control frayed, hips twitching forward in tiny, helpless jerks, the hand in Reuben’s hair pulling just shy of pain.
Nikon snatched his hand away from the shower wall and cradled Reuben’s jaw with tender fingers. Meanwhile, his other hand forced Reuben’s rhythm faster, desperation bleeding into the reverence. “Your mouth is made for me.” Nikon’s words fell from his lips, half prayer and half growl, as his glistening cock disappeared between parted lips again. “You take me so deep that I—”
The first spurt hit Reuben’s throat, salty and thick. And he drank the cum greedily as Nikon’s groan echoed off the glass enclosure. The second and third spurt made Nikon’s thighs tremble, his choked-off curse echoing louder than the wet sounds surrounding them.
When Nikon finally stilled, chest heaving, Reuben released him from his lips with an obscene pop.
“Turn around.” Nikon hauled him up before the words fully registered, spinning him to face the tiles. The now warmed-through marble heated Reuben’s cheek as he pressed himself up against the wall. Nikon’s palm cracked against his ass—once, twice—the sting blooming sweetly in a way that made Reuben groan for more. “Place your hands here.”
Reuben spread his fingers high up against the wall as Nikon pressed flush against him, his thick dick digging into Reuben’s lower back. Reaching up, Nikon pinned Reuben’s hands to the wall, capturing both wrists in one large palm. With the other, he reached around and circled Reuben’s stiff cock, thumb swiping the pre-cum leaking out of the head. “Still so hard,” Nikon murmured against the nape of Reuben’s shoulder, teeth scraping the damp skin. “You can’t wait, can you?”
Reuben’s hips jerked forward, chasing friction. Nikon chuckled darkly, tightening his grip. “Enough.” Reuben mimicked Nikon’s words from earlier. “Now.”
With a low chuckle, Nikon began to work him, pace maddeningly slow as he stroked. Reuben’s knees trembled, his breath fogging the tiles.
“Please,” he gasped, arching back into Nikon’s chest.
“I’ve got you.” Nikon’s voice gentled even as his strokes turned ruthless. Reuben’s wrists burned where Nikon pinned them to the wall, fingers splayed and straining against the unyielding grip.
Reuben’s gasp fractured when Nikon bit down on his shoulder—a silent command—even as the relentless rhythm of his strokes left no room for hesitation. “Cum for me.”
At those words, Reuben’s orgasm ripped through him like live wire, vision whiting out as strings of cum painted the shower wall only to be quickly washed away. Nikon held him upright through the long tremors, his lips pressed to the fluttering pulse beneath Reuben’s ear.
“I love you,” Nikon murmured when Reuben’s legs finally buckled. Releasing his wrists, Nikon turned him gently, keeping him upright against his chest as the last throes of Reuben’s orgasm left his body.
Long moments passed—their foreheads pressed together under the spray—before Reuben could stand on his own two feet again.
As Reuben’s rapid breathing slowed, he traced the worry lines beside Nikon’s eyes. Those were lines no one else saw. “Say it again.”
Nikon’s smile was a rare, unguarded thing. “I love you.” He kissed the words into Reuben’s mouth, soft and lingering. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”