48. Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter forty-eight
Adair
That night, we had another video meeting, this one with Lynette, and Ryan. Lukas sat at his desk, and Quinn, Peter, and I were on the couch across from him. Like with previous meetings, we had a tablet mirroring everything happening on Lukas’s screen.
“How soon can you safely get the four of you here? It’s getting harder to skirt around why there is so much focus on your neck of the woods.”
Ryan nodded. “Her words this morning were, ‘I cannot keep waking up, hoping my brother- and sister-in-law and everyone in their care haven’t been blown to pieces.’”
Lukas let out a sigh before answering. “I know. She’s been poking at me for information, too.”
Guilt swirled in my stomach. This is all my fault. If I just—
Peter derailed my thought when he grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear, “Stop blaming yourself. It’s not your fault.”
Lynette cleared her throat, pulling us back into the conversation. “I should let you know that Lianne is considering cashing in her favor with Don Dallas to get you home safely.”
Lukas’s eyes went wide. “I’m sorry, what? Why? Is it really that dire that we can’t go through our usual channels?” He glanced up and looked me in the eye before continuing. “Who does she think is coming home?”
Ryan sighed. “Lukas, you are extremely important to Lianne. Quinn, too. She has no idea who you’re hanging around with these days, but does it matter? You’ve seen the lengths your mother has taken to protect people important to her. Why would your sister be any different?”
Lukas smiled as he nodded. “I suppose you have a point. What are your thoughts on it, Momma?”
Lynette gave him an even stare. “You’re going to sit there and ask me if I want my children home safely by whatever means necessary?”
“Yeah… that was dumb of me.”
Quinn snickered softly, earning her a brief glare from her husband.
Lynette continued. “What plan do you have in place right now?”
Lukas sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. “Cole is looking for the earliest flight we can get four first-class tickets together.”
I shook my head in amazement and confusion. “I understand the need to get out of here as quickly and quietly as possible, but why first-class tickets? Wouldn’t that draw more attention?”
Quinn reached over and took my hand. “Because the first-class lounge is more secure, as is the first-class section of the plane.”
“Oh. Okay.” It made sense while also making me feel less guilty about the added expense. I keep costing this family more money.
Lukas cleared his throat, pulling me from my darkening thoughts, and I realized he stared straight at me.
“Quinn’s right about the first part. It’s easier to control exposure, especially after I chat with security and the gate agent.
This is not the first time we’ve flown out of here while keeping a low profile.
That being said, I’d feel more comfortable if you were in some kind of disguise. ”
“Me?” My eyes went wide. “Like what?”
“A wig, at minimum. Maybe some glasses or colored contacts. I don’t want anyone to have an inkling of who you are while we’re traveling. If they are willing to attack and then blow up your house, there’s no telling what they’ll stop at.”
“I agree with Lukas on this one.”
I let out a deep sigh and nodded at Lynette’s response. “Okay. Do you already have something in mind?”
Quinn nodded. “Yeah. I have a couple of wigs you can choose from. Hell, I might join you in wearing one to further add to the airport charade.”
Ryan leaned forward, shaking his head. “Now that we have that figured out. How are we handling getting to the airport?”
Lukas looked up at Peter. “We take both SUVs. One has me, Quinn, Peter, and Tori, and the other has Phil and Cole.”
I couldn't help the laugh that came out. “Secret Service style? Really? Lukas, we’re already going in disguises. Isn’t this a little overboard?”
His attention snapped back to me, and the wild fear and protectiveness in his eyes surprised me. “Is my mother hiding you in a string of safe houses and keeping your existence secret from everyone, including her husband, going overboard?”
I met his intense stare with one of my own. “I ask myself that every single day.”
Lukas stood and walked to me, where he knelt and took my hands in his.
“Please stop questioning your importance to us. Li and I weren’t kidding when we told you all those years ago that we were excited to have you in the family.
If it makes you feel any better, I would do the exact same thing for her if she was sitting here right now. ”
I shook my head. “That's because she’s your sister, Lukas.”
“You are, too.”
“I… Well… Okay then.” I swallowed hard, desperately trying to get my emotions in check. If his words hadn’t done me in, the tears welling in his eyes would have.
Lukas gave me a curious look. “No more fighting me on this?”
A slight chuckle came out. “Not on this. I’ll pick something else to butt heads with you on.”
He smirked. “Fair enough.”
I cleared my throat, realizing I was losing the battle of looking cool, calm, and collected. “I need to use the bathroom. Excuse me.” Before anyone could stop me, I was off the couch and out of the room.
“Is she okay?”
Lynette’s voice carried into the hall, momentarily freezing me in my steps.
“If I had to guess, she’s probably a bit overwhelmed by all this, especially the unwavering support from all of us and needs a minute.”
I shook my head at Lukas’s response as I headed for the basement.
He has no idea how right he is.
As soon as I closed the door to Peter’s room, I flopped face first onto the bed and let my emotions go.
It wasn’t that I was upset with anyone, but seeing the lengths the Agostis were taking, and then hearing Lianne wanted to cash in a favor from the Don Supreme of Chicago to make sure we all got home safely was so beautiful and heartwarming, it physically hurt.
A fresh wave of grief and despair over the relationship I'd never have with my biological sister crashed over me as the door to Peter’s room opened and closed. Seconds later, the mattress dipped next to me, and the fresh scent of pine surrounded me.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
I nodded and rolled to face Peter. “I could use a hug.”
He wrapped his arms around me, and like last night, I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beating, focusing on the steady rhythm proving he was still alive.
Though I knew he’d never ask, there was no way I could tell him that while my nightmare had started out forcing me to relive almost losing and then actually losing Derek, but it had morphed into Peter’s bleeding body being the one who I had been left to hold.
We laid there for a while until his phone dinged. When he didn’t move right away, I lifted my head. “You going to check that?” It dinged again, making me chuckle. “It might be important.”
He let out a sigh and shifted to pull his phone from his pocket. Worry was all over his face as the light from his screen shone on it. “We are getting a guest for dinner.”
Before I could respond, my phone, still buried in my pocket, dinged. I rolled onto my back and pulled it out, intrigued as I opened the secure app.
Momma E:
Momma:
I grinned and looked at Peter. “Edith is coming.”
He chuckled and nodded. “She is, and apparently she and Quinn are determined to make tonight extra special.”
I sat up with a start. “If Quinn and Edith are going all in, I want to look nice.”
Peter furrowed his brow in confusion as he sat up as well. “You always look nice.”
His compliment caught me off guard, and I didn't know how to feel about it. “You sound like Derek. He and I would have a fake fight every time I said I wanted to make myself look nicer.”
“Well, I’m not going to fight you. I think you look lovely, but I understand wanting to look and feel nice.”
Lovely.
The word echoed in my mind. “It's been a while since I've been called lovely.”
Peter shifted, suddenly looking nervous. “Would you rather I didn't? I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”
All I could do was smile for a moment as a memory floated through my mind. “I’m not uncomfortable. It’s just the last time anyone called me lovely was my wedding day.”
“I… You… You were married?”
My eyes were wide when I looked over and took in the stunned look on Peter’s face. Holy shit. I cannot believe I said that. Out loud. Without even thinking about it. “Yeah. I was.”
There were only two other people who knew the wedding had even happened. Edith had insisted on making a cake for us, and Lynette wouldn’t take no for an answer when it came to buying us a wedding present. I glanced down at the plain white gold band I had on my ring finger.
“Was it to Derek?”
Peter’s question pulled me from my thoughts, and the genuine concern in his eyes had tears pooling in mine as I nodded.
“Is tonight going to be too much?”
I shook my head and reached up to give his hand, still resting on my shoulder, a squeeze.
“No. I genuinely want to do this. I can’t leave without saying goodbye to Edith.
” My grip tightened. Fuck. I have to say goodbye to her.
The tears that had been gathering spilled over, and Peter pulled me into a hug.
“It’s not a forever goodbye. It’s a ‘I’ll see you later’ goodbye. This isn’t the end of you and Edith.”
I nodded, sniffling as I leaned into the comfort he provided me.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I realized my chest had a warm feeling in it, and as much as part of me hated that someone other than Derek had put it there, I was glad I was able to feel anything at all. Maybe Derek was right about this, too.
Somehow, knowing I needed a minute, Peter squeezed my shoulders again before leaning back. “I’ll let you do whatever you need to get ready. I’ll just be on the other side of the wall.”
“Thanks.”
After he headed out of his bedroom, I closed the door, leaned against it, and tried to blink back the tears.
Derek and I had made the best of the few precious years we had together.
It had been beyond amazing having the love of my life all to myself.
We both knew we were living on borrowed time, and yet, I always assumed I’d be the one to go first. Angrily flicking away the mutinous tears that had fallen, I stood straight again and walked to my bag, pulling out my charcoal grey dress as well as my bag of makeup.
After taking a few minutes to pull myself together, you couldn’t even tell I had been crying.
I let out a tense breath, rested the palms of my hands on the edge of the dresser, and looked at myself in the mirror.
I can do this. I can have a celebratory dinner with my friends and family.
Friends and family.
The words ricocheted around my brain as a smile appeared on my face.
I have friends and family I can talk to again.
It was enough to have me crying again, but for a completely different reason.