23. Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
Elise
Beep beep beep.
The rhythmic tone slowly creeps into my dreamless slumber, raising me from sleep. As I crack my eyes open, an unfamiliar ceiling comes into view. The rhythm of the machine slowly speeds up as my eyes drift to the corner to find Luca asleep in the chair. His arms are crossed over his chest, his head hangs over his lap, and his breathing is deep.
The longer I study him, the heavier the throb on my wrists becomes. I slowly lift my hands, my fingers trembling as I take in the thick gauze wrapped around my wrists.
No…
I squeeze my eyes closed as tears spill down my cheeks. Even my death Luca controls. Our argument washes over me with intensity as I silently sob in the hospital bed. He controls my brother, he controls my family, he controls every aspect of my life—a life that I have never had control over.
My frustrations force my sobs to escape me loud enough that they rouse Luca from his sleep. He tenses, sitting up as his eyes fall on me. Once he sees I’m awake, he visibly relaxes. A smile of relief forms on his lips to see me awake, but I ignore it as he comes toward me, frantically ripping at the gauze around my wrists.
My heart pounds as desperation grips me. The gauze is thick and shreds, leaving a trail of fabric as I try to reach the blood-crusted stitching. My fingers violently tremble when two hands close around mine, holding me steady. I slowly lift my eyes, peering into Luca’s deep gray eyes. He shakes his head slightly, his grip tightening.
“Don’t…touch me,” I whisper.
Luca hesitates for a moment before releasing me, and I lower my hands to my lap, no longer able to hold his gaze. My hands blur slightly as more tears drip, saturating the color of the sheets.
Luca releases a deep breath, his fingers gently pushing my hair behind my ear.
“Elise… how could you do that?” he asks.
I release a bitter chuckle, tossing my hands in defeat. “Does it matter?”
“Of course, it matters. Do you realize you almost didn’t make it? We live so far from the city, if we were five minutes later—”
“Yes. That was what I wanted. That was my plan…to be gone from all of this. From you. From this torture, this crippling loneliness,” I say.
“This isn’t a life worth living,” I finish.
“Elise—”
“You said it yourself on several occasions. My life meant nothing. My own father didn’t want me. He never loved me. My own family wants me dead for someone they’ve never even met. My mere existence is a failure…a burden,” I say, repeating Luca’s words to me.
Silence passes between us, and I feel Luca’s hand under my chin. He lifts my gaze, forcing me to look into his eyes as he speaks. I see no malice, no anger, no disappointment. Only fierce determination is reflected at me.
“I also said my life would be less interesting without you. I said you are a Pasquino now, and I will kill anyone who threatens that. There are things you don’t know about our lives, Elise. Our connection lies long before our arrangement. You’ve always been mine to protect,” he says.
Before I can respond, the door to the room opens. A man in his seventies enters with a smile as he looks between us.
“Happy to see you’re awake, Mrs. Pasquino. You gave your husband here quite a scare. You lost three pints of blood. Any more, and you might have died,” he smiles as if I’m lucky.
As if my being here isn’t something that has once again been forced on me.
Luca steps aside as the doctor comes to do a physical checkup.
“Will she be able to come home today?” he asks as the doctor shines a small light in my eyes.
“We usually like to keep these cases for at least 72 hours for evaluation before releasing them,” he says hesitantly.
I know immediately he works for Luca and knows what kind of man Luca is. He’s scared to tell him the truth.
“But we’ll keep her for twenty-four just to be sure,” he says, standing tall.
Luca only nods.
The doctor looks back at me with a kind smile. “We’ll get you some food and fluids, and you should be feeling normal in a few hours,” he says.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
The doctor turns away to leave the room, but Luca follows him, murmuring something so that I don’t hear their conversation. But I do make out a small part of it.
“No records.”
I scoff to myself. So, my hunch was correct. This doctor is employed by the family as well. Being a significant crime boss means hospital visits should be minimal. Hospitals mean records and police. And for the types of injuries sustained in this line of work, Luca would be dead or tracked down immediately.
I’m confident that’s how Ari managed to find out about my running away. The wreck I caused was in the middle of a back road, and I’m sure Luca was too injured to call someone. My family must have gotten ahold of the hospital records and began looking for me.
I take a deep breath, my eyes shifting to the partially open window. The sunlight streams in, offering a false sense of hope. But the warmth is nice, making my eyes suddenly feel heavy as I lie back on the pillow. The crushing defeat I felt waking up only solidifies as I realize I am not only hooked up to machines, but also that Luca probably has this hospital under heavy surveillance.
I am once again at his mercy.
So, I continue staring out the window until my eyes grow too heavy to keep open, and my mind falls asleep.
When I open my eyes again, Luca has returned. He’s in different clothes, sitting in his designated corner, not working for once. He’s reading a book. I shift my attention to the window. The sun’s rays have turned a deep orange as it reaches the end of its descent.
“You’re awake,” Luca says, closing the book as he stands. He silently crosses the room, pulling the bedside tray with him. He’s quiet as he pulls the silver cover from the food, revealing a steaming bowl of soup. He grabs the bowl, bringing it with him as he sits on the edge of the bed, gently dipping the spoon.
I eye him in confusion as he brings the spoon to my lips, but he speaks before I can voice my thoughts. “I’m not in the mood for games. Eat.”
I reluctantly open my mouth for him to feed me, ignoring the twist of hunger in my gut and the intense pleasure my taste buds get from having food after being unconscious for so long.
“Dr. Patterson said you need rest and something in your system. Your body will need help replenishing your strength,” he says.
“So he does work for you,” I say.
Luca doesn’t respond as he feeds me, ensuring the bowl is empty before placing it back on the tray. And once again, silence falls between us. He’s thinking hard about what he wants to say next.
“Elise…don’t try to take your life again. I can’t handle that. I can’t handle life without you,” he says.
“Don’t you realize you almost lost me because of you?” I ask, finally garnering enough strength to look at him as I confess my innermost thoughts.
“You broke me, Luca. You tortured me. You carved your name into my flesh, for God’s sake. You’ve killed people in front of me, and now you expect me to be okay with the massacre of my family by my brother’s hand. How do you expect me, the woman you constantly remind was kept away from this world, to react?” I ask.
He studies me for a long time, but doesn’t respond. I wish I knew what he was thinking. I never know what he’s thinking, yet he can read me like a book.
“Can you just stop fighting me on everything? Why do you refuse to acknowledge that the reason you’re with me in the first place is that your family wasn’t planning on you living this long? Why won’t you acknowledge I am the one who saved you?” he asks.
Silence passes between us, and I don’t know what to say.
“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. William has agreed to help me gather what’s left of your family. You can hate me from the safety of our home once it’s finished,” he says, standing. He watches me with a hard expression as he once again closes himself off.
“And Elise, remember your brother is a Trovoli as well. Don’t try something like this again. Or he will join your family in their extermination,” he says.
We continue to stare at each other, and I try my best to keep a straight face. But I feel my bottom lip begin to tremble as frustration courses through me. I shut my eyes tight, and the tears fall miserably down my face.
He wins again.
He’s using my soft heart against me, dangling my brother’s life for my own. I could never cut his life short because of my own selfishness, and Luca knows that. He knows that very well.
Luca releases a deep sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Oh, Elise…It’s only because I love you.”
Luca reaches for my face, and I quickly raise my hand to slap him away. But he catches my attack, something dangerous flickering behind that controlled gaze as he fights his emotions.
He laughs, releasing me as he stands. His back remains to me as his voice carries through the room.
“Remember what I said, Elise. Your brother’s life depends on it,” he says.
He closes the door behind him, and I feel a visceral reaction as I realize my situation. I snatch the pillow from behind me, throwing it at the door in frustration. My wrists throb from the exertion, and as I study the white gauze, I note that it slowly turns pink.
Luca has me once again. I have someone else’s life to think about. Even though I don’t know him, I can’t abandon him. When I think of him, I think about myself, how I was raised for one purpose, and once that purpose was fulfilled, my father saw no more use for me. It’s the same with him. He was made to take over for my father. He never had a choice in his life, just like me. And though Luca is forcing him to do something unimaginable, he still has a different future ahead—a future he can choose if I have anything to say about it.
I chuckle as I stare at the pale hospital ceiling, making an internal promise to myself. I will protect him, no matter what. I will be what our father never was for either of us, even if it kills me.