53. Chapter Fifty-Two
Chapter Fifty-Two
Elise
One Year Later
When it became apparent that Luca wasn’t coming back, I mourned him. He was my protector, and it wasn’t his fault, the man he was. He was raised to be that way. Our world has no room for weakness, as it proved the moment I stepped out of his protection. I was forced to come to terms with difficult emotions that made no sense to me. It was difficult getting over his death and realizing that all I had left in the world was Enzo.
Enzo and Luciano.
I smile at the small child as he opens his eyes and looks at me. He has his father’s eyes, but according to Enzo, he looks like me. I found out he existed shortly after Luca left. Lucky for me, Luca made sure we would be taken care of in his absence. But that doesn’t mean going through the pregnancy alone wasn’t difficult.
“Are you ready?” I ask, standing from the blanket I had laid outside.
We’ve remained at the cottage since Luca’s death. He wasn’t lying when he said no one knew where we were. This place is truly the safest haven. It was difficult learning to live here on our own. During the day, I was fine. But at night, the nightmares would come. They became amplified during my pregnancy, and no one was there to make them go away.
Enzo tried his best, but at the end of the day, he’s only a kid.
I carry Luciano inside, placing him in the baby basket and moving to the sink to make his bottle. The house is quiet since Enzo went into town to get fresh flowers for the memorial. I debated giving Luca one, but the debate didn’t last long. Luca was my husband and the father of my child. He died protecting us and should always be remembered for that.
I shift my gaze to the clock. Enzo should be back in the next thirty minutes. Since we have no body, we planted a tree far down by the lake as a remembrance for Luca. I quietly look back at Luciano. He’s fast asleep, and I smile at the sight, putting the bottle away. I don’t want to wake him.
I move to the sliding door, opening it to let the fresh air in. The patio has seats, so I shift my attention to Luciano one more time before moving to sit in the seat, leaning my head back as I enjoy the sunlight.
No one ever prepared me for motherhood. I never thought I’d even make it to motherhood, especially when my own father was plotting my demise. But now that it has taken hold of me, I feel a new sense of responsibility. It helps a little as it takes my mind off my own stressors regarding the future. Luciano is now my future, and I am both excited and happy about that.
My eyes fly open when I suddenly hear Luciano’s laughter. But when I check my watch, I see that Enzo shouldn’t be back for another hour. I quickly stand, pausing when I hear a familiar deep voice.
“I’m here now. I will protect you, mi figlio 1 .”
Tears spring into my eyes, and I move faster than I ever have, making sure I’m not hallucinating. Sure enough, a man is standing with his back to me as he looks down at my son, his hand gently rubbing his stomach as he speaks.
My heart beats wildly against my chest as I step closer, blinking the tears from my eyes.
“Luca?” I whisper.
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me the moment he faces me. He’s here. He’s really here. He’s alive. His hair is shorter, and he now has a scar above his eyebrow leading into his hairline. He doesn’t move as I approach, his eyes shifting over me like a man who’s seen his first glass of water in a desert.
I bring my hands to either side of his face, his skin warm beneath my touch. And his right hand covers mine before he brings it to his lips, his eyes meeting mine.
“You’re really here,” I whisper.
My tears fall harder as I step into his embrace.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “I’m here now.”
I press my ear against his chest, reveling in the sound of his strong heartbeat. And when I feel his lips on my head, I lift my face to his, allowing him to kiss me. His kiss is gentle as his fingers drift through my hair, pulling me into him, and I can’t stop the tears that fall down my face.
“I thought you died,” I whisper as I pull away from him. “How? What happened?”
He smiles at me in pity, using his thumb to wipe away my tears.
“I almost did. I was lucky there was a brick wall to protect me from the brunt of the blast while simultaneously crushing me,” he says.
My eyes widen as he reveals the horrifying details of his near-death experience. He was almost blown up. I reach for his face again, tracing his newest scar.
“I was in a coma for months,” he says.
I release a trembling breath as I pull him into an embrace again.
“Don’t leave me again,” I murmur.
“I won’t,” he says.
I tense when Luciano’s cries interrupt our moment. I move to pick him up, but Luca brushes past me.
“I’ll do it,” he says.
I watch him in despair as he holds his son for the first time. It is as if no time has passed between us. He steps back into the role of our protector seamlessly.
“What’s his name?” he asks.
“Luciano,” I say.
Luca looks at me in shock, picking up the correlation of using his mother’s name.
“It only felt right,” I say.
To my shock, Luca smiles, looking down at his son. “I almost missed you. I almost didn’t get to watch you grow up. But I’m here now, mi figlio . I will protect you no matter what,” he says. “I love you so much.”
Luca turns to face me, holding his arm out to silently coax me into him. I immediately walk into his embrace, letting the tears fall freely as Luca holds me in one arm, and our son in the other.
The two parts that make up his world.
“I love you, Elise,” he says gently.
I look up at him, my heart swelling. Our entire marriage, I’ve never wanted to return those words to him, afraid of what it might mean for me. But I see now that I was once again being immature. Because it was only when he was taken from me that I realized the desperation I felt must be what my form of love feels like.
“I love you, too,” I say.
And I mean it. With every piece of me, I mean it. Our love isn’t the one you hear about in books and movies. It isn’t soft and gentle. It is a compulsion. A dark and twisted need that no one can understand but us. Because I need him, and he needs me. It’s taken us marching through hell to understand that, but this world we were born into isn’t forgiving. We’ve both been witnesses to that.
I know from the outside looking in, people may think we’re crazy. But they aren’t the ones married to Luca Pasquino, Capo dei capi of the largest and most successful crime family in the world.
I am.
1. My son