Chapter Twenty Three
Iwas screwed. Completely and utterly fucked. I knew that now, and to be honest, I’d had a fair idea of it a couple of weeks ago, but now I knew for sure. I was completely obsessed with Paige Matthews, and so were my best friends.
It had been a couple of weeks since her induction into the club, and since then we’d taken turns spending time with Paige outside of classes when we could. Bast had taken her out to dinner a couple of times, and Nate was meeting her every other day in the gym. I’d been surprised to find out Paige already liked to work out, as she hadn’t done much since she’d got here, but she’d confided to Nate that she found the university gym a little intimidating, so he’d organised sessions for them where there was no one else there. I wasn’t sure if Paige realised Nate had essentially told the university to close the gym for Paige’s sessions, or if she just thought he was getting them in after hours, but either way they’d been spending the time together.
I”d removed the cameras from her room just before the ball, and Bast no longer followed her around, but I’d taken to walking her home from class every night. At first, I”d insisted it was for her safety, but really it was just a ruse to get her to talk to me again. She”d been understandably upset at my involvement, and I was struggling to convince her that the time we”d spent together had been genuine, even though I”d known about her so-called application. I”d worn her down eventually, and now we chatted as we walked. I used the time to get to know her more, and I stored up the information she gave me like gold bars. Her favourite colour, her favourite band, her favourite drink. I hadn”t tried to kiss her again though. Bast had warned us to play it a little cooler, to give her time to agree to being ours, and I needed her to agree so badly. There was something about this girl that drew me in, and I needed more. She was like a drug, and I was already an addict.
This was my favourite part of the day. Getting here early and standing in the doorway to watch her paint. She always stayed a good hour later than the other students, and it meant I got to watch her in peace. She never even knew I was here. I loved the way she just got completely lost in her paintings, absorbed in the colours, her ear pods cutting her off from the outside world and keeping her safe in her own world of sound and colour. At the club she’d been afraid, outside she was timid, but here she was completely herself, and I was the only one who got to see it. I grinned as she swayed to the music in her ears, humming along as she leaned in to study an area of her painting closely. She was so focused, she didn’t even notice the brush she was holding leave a trail of pink across her cheekbone. She pulled back, and turned to study the palette on the table next to her.
”Paige.”
She jerked at her name, then spun around on her stool. Her eyes wide, fixed on me. I leaned against the doorframe and smiled at her.
”Tristan? It can’t be six already…” she glanced up at the clock and bit her lip as she noticed it was ten after. “You should have said something.”
I smiled and pushed off the wall, walking over to her. “I didn’t want to interrupt. You were concentrating. Do you have much to clean up?”
She shook her head. “No, these are oils, I’ll just quickly cover them up and rinse out the pot with the…” her voice trailed off as she scurried about, getting ready to leave.
“No rush,” I said. “I thought I’d walk you back to your dorm and then maybe if you aren’t doing anything, we could go out for something to eat?”
“Oh, oh, I er…”
“My treat,” I said firmly. “And I wasn’t thinking anything fancy, just pizza, if that’s ok with you?”
Paige gave me a genuine smile and my stomach fluttered at the sight of it. She always seemed so on edge with us all, but considering how we’d all met, I couldn”t blame her.
“Okay, that sounds nice. I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?” I grinned. I stepped forward and began to undo the buttons on the painting shirt she was wearing. It was just a large man’s shirt from the charity shop. Paige had told me she’d bought a bunch of them as the aprons provided by the university didn’t cover enough and she still kept managing to get paint on her clothes. She didn’t stop me, just stood there quietly looking up at me as I undid each button.
I could feel my heart start to speed up as I moved downwards, even though I knew she was fully dressed underneath, it still felt like a very intimate thing to do. Since the night of her induction, we had made an agreement to take things slowly with her. She’d had no idea what she was getting into, and by now Nate and I were certain she was telling the truth. Bast wasn’t completely convinced, but he had me researching her life and any other possible connections to the club to see if we could find someone who might want to hurt us, and her. It was entirely possible that the person simply wanted to damage our reputation and cause scandal, but at the same time, it was also possible it had nothing to do with us and Paige was the target.
As I looked down into those clear blue eyes, I swore again to myself that no one was going to touch her or hurt her ever again. Except me and my friends of course. My fingers found the last button, hanging just over the junction of her legs. Her eyes dropped to my lips, and I heard her breathing pick up as I leaned in closer.
”Tristan...” She murmured.
“Yes?” I moved closer. She sucked her breath in, and her eyes fluttered closed. I didnt move. I desperately wanted to kiss her but we’d all agreed for now, no sex unless she initiated it. At least, not until the next trial.
“I… I’m not sure…”
I pulled back, ignoring the tight feeling of disappointment. “I’m not going to do anything right now that you’re not sure about, Paige. I… we… all want you to feel safe with us, and we know that everything kind of got off on the wrong foot between us.” I stepped back, and she turned away, sliding the paint shirt off her shoulders and turning to hang it on the hook on the side of her easel. It was warm in the art room and underneath, she was wearing a simple white tank top. Her arms and shoulders were bare, and beautifully sculpted. I moved forward, sliding my arms around her waist. She stiffened at first, but when I pulled her back against my chest, she relaxed against me. I leaned down, brushing my lips down the side of her neck.
“I want to take this slow, Paige. I want you to feel good, and I want to find out what makes you feel good.”
“I don’t really know,” she confessed, braver now she was facing away from me. Her hands settled on my forearms as I kissed along her shoulder. “That feels good.”
“Does it?” I asked. I did it again. “How about this?” I kissed the side of her neck again, this time, sucking at her smooth skin, my teeth grazing over it. She shuddered.
“Yes, I do like that,” she whispered.
I smiled against her skin, letting my tongue glide over where I had just sucked. Paige quivered in my arms, a soft sigh slipping past her lips. My heart pounded in my chest, racing at her approval. I held her tighter, arms locked around her waist.
”How about this?” I whispered into her ear, my hands slowly sliding up from her waist to cup her breasts over the top of her tank top. She sucked in a sharp breath at the contact but didn’t pull away. My thumbs brushed lightly over the hardening peaks through the thin fabric and she shuddered against me.
“Oh...yes.” Her voice was breathless, shaky.
A triumphant thrill shot through me at her confirmation. Desire stirred within me, quick and heated. But I pushed it down. Not yet. It wasn”t time yet.
Steadying myself, I continued my exploration, fingers tracing the side of her neck, brushing loose strands of hair away to expose more of her skin to my lips. I kissed along the curve of her collarbone before moving down to the hollow of her throat.
Her fingers tightened around my wrists as a small moan escaped from between her parted lips. My body hardened at the sound, my control teetering on the edge.
”Paige,” I groaned into her skin, ”You”re driving me crazy.”
”Tristan...” She twisted in my arms to look up at me, her wide eyes full of something that made my heart pound in my chest. Desire? Yes, but there was something else too. Trust.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, willing the tension out of my shoulders as I looked into her eyes. ”Paige?”
She just blinked at me for a moment before she closed her eyes and tilted her head back slightly. I leaned down slowly, giving her time to pull away if she wanted to. But she didn”t move. So I brushed my lips against hers lightly at first before deepening it. She tasted sweet and innocent which only drove me wilder.
She moaned into my mouth as I pulled her closer to me with one hand pressed against the small of her back while the other tangled in her hair gently tugging on it. She pressed herself against me and I groaned at the feel of her pushing her hips against my now rather hard cock. What I wouldn’t give to lift her up onto that table and eat out that sweet pussy again before fucking her so hard anyone still left in the art department would come running at her screams.
I pulled away, my heart racing, and smiled down at her. “We need to go before I do something really inappropriate.”
She nodded, but I caught a flash in her eyes that made me think she might actually have been up for that. I grinned to myself. Something to keep in mind for another time perhaps.
”So...pizza?” she asked, a slight blush colouring her cheeks.
I chuckled lightly. ”Yes, pizza.”
”We should eat at Antonio”s,” she suggested softly as we left the art room, her fingers lightly scratching at my arm.
”Antonio”s? That”s miles away.”
”But their pizza is the best.” She made a face at me.
Her enthusiasm was infectious, and I found myself grinning in response. ”Alright then. Antonio”s it is.”
Her face lit up with joy and my heart did a strange flip within my chest. This woman was going to ruin me and she didn”t even know it yet.
”Ready?” I asked, gesturing towards the door.
She nodded and we made our way outside, Paige pausing to grab her jacket and to make sure the department doors shut properly, the automatic lock clicking into place. As we stepped out of the building into the chilly evening air, Paige wrapped her arms around herself for warmth. My protective instinct kicked in and without thinking I draped my arm around her shoulders pulling her close to me for warmth. She nestled under my arm, her own snaking around my waist in a possessive gesture that had me grinning. It was the first time she’d done that since I started walking her home, and it felt amazing.
”Tristan,” Paige”s voice sliced through the silence, ”I... really appreciate you doing this.” Her words, hesitant yet sincere, caught me off guard. I could feel her eyes on me even as I kept mine fixed ahead.
“Taking you for pizza?”
“For walking me home every night. I… I never liked walking by myself, especially now it’s getting dark. I always felt like I was being followed.”
I grinned down at her. “You know that was Bast right? The guy in the mask.”
She glared up at me, and squeezed at my waist in a vicious tickle. I laughed and jerked away.
”Hey!”
“He scared the shit out of me, Tristan.”
“I’m sorry, I truly am. It”s tradition. Normally the girls who apply to be part of the club know what’s going on. The masks, the following, yes it’s us checking them out to see who would be the best fit, but it’s also supposed to be flattering for them, they know they’ve reached a certain stage in the interview process, shall we say.”
“You’re all completely fucked up,” Paige complained, but she didn’t pull away as I slipped my arm back around her shoulders.
I shrugged. “Probably. Actually yes, definitely.”
She laughed. I smiled down at her, though I felt a flicker of apprehension as I looked down at her. It might have sounded like I was joking, but I wasn’t really. The three of us, we had our secrets and our darkness. Paige just hadn’t experienced them yet. I hoped that any bond we formed before then was enough to keep her around.
We decided to head straight to Antonio’s rather than heading back to Paige’s dorm first. I insisted on carrying her bag of sketchbooks and pencils, and the walk was filled with easy banter and laughter. She told me about how she discovered Antonio”s during her first week here and how they make their own pasta fresh every morning.
As we stepped inside the warm restaurant filled with the scent of garlic and tomato sauce, she looked around with a satisfied smile on her face.
“Please tell me you’re not about to order a green salad?” I teased, as the waiter led us to a small table tucked away in the corner.
“Not a chance on that. You promised me pizza, so you’d better deliver. Oh god, there was loads of small print in that contract Bast flashed in front of my face - you guys aren’t going to control what I eat, right? Cause if you take my carbs away, we’re going to have issues!”
I laughed as we sat down, choosing to sit next to her rather than opposite. I wasn”t quite ready to give up that closeness yet. The waiter handed us our menus, then disappeared quickly. The place was heaving, but Paige was right, it was the best pizza place in Blackvellyn.
“Not me, pretty girl. Bast might, when you’re with him. He likes to be in control. What you do, what you wear…”
“Yeah, figures he’d be a control freak,” she muttered, glancing at the menu. “Wait, what do I wear?”
She looked over at me, and for a moment, I thought I caught a glimmer of panic in her eyes.
“Yeah, for the trials, when we’re at the club. He”ll want you to wear specific things that fit with the ceremony or ritual or theme.”
“Ok… but not… not what I wear every day though?”
She seemed nervous for some reason, and I picked up her hand and squeezed it. “He might buy you the odd thing if he thinks you’ll like it, but no, Paige, he won’t do that. We’re not your jailers.”
“Oh, good. That’s good.” She looked back down at the menu, but something was clearly bothering her.
“I’m going to get the Milanese and a bottle of Tempranillo,”” I said. “What would you like and what’s got you all worked up about clothing choices?”
My light hearted attempt at pumping her for information worked and she smiled up at me. “I’ll take the spicy seafood pizza, and the wine sounds great. Some water for the table too?”
I nodded. “Perfect.” I looked up and took a couple of minutes trying to catch the waiter’s eye. When we’d finally managed to place our order, I turned back to Paige. “So no dodging the question. What upset you there?”
Paige sighed, toying with her napkin. “My mother is rather… she has very set ideas about how a girl acts and dresses, and eats to be honest, and it’s only since I came to Blackvellyn that I could really start wearing what I wanted. I’ve been finding things in charity shops that were more to my taste than the designer stuff my mum insisted I wear. I thought Bast might do the same.”
I leaned back, looking her up and down. the white tank top was simple enough, but the jeans were heavy and wide, her converse were scruffy but looked liked there was some kind of design on them, and there were flowers painted on her taupe corduroy jacket that looked a lot like some of the flowers in her paintings, and I realised she’d customised it herself.
“You look gorgeous, Paige,” I said. “Your position as Persephone is a role, a persona you can step into, and you might find that having different clothing helps you play the part, and makes it easier for you to step out again afterwards. Separate Persephone from Paige, if you like.”
She thought about that, and then smiled. “That actually does sound like a good idea. I am starting to regret saying I”d think about staying though.” My heart jumped.
The waiter arrived with the water and wine, and I poured us both drinks before asking: “Why are you starting to regret it? Do you not like me? Or Nate or Bast? Has either of them done anything to upset you?”
Paige shook her head. “No, you’ve all been lovely. Well, Bast is pretty standoffish and the conversation is a little dull when we’re out, and Nate barely says a word to me unless he’s helping me with my form in the gym. It’s just, it”s been a couple of weeks and Bast said another trial is coming up and I’m just…”
“Nervous?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Nervous, scared. More than a little bit terrified, actually. I keep picturing these trials and no matter how I imagine them, they never end well,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.
I shifted in my seat, bringing myself closer to her. “Don’t worry, pretty girl. Nate and I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” I said. My voice was firm; it was a vow.
She chewed on her lower lip before she spoke again. “But Bast… he”s not like you guys.” Her eyes were searching mine for something, an assurance perhaps.
“He’s not. But he respects us and our positions within the Club. He wouldn’t dare cross us when it comes to you.”
A small smile spread across her face at my words and she nodded. “Okay.”
I reached over, taking her hand on the tabletop. Her skin was soft, warm. I rubbed my thumb in soothing circles over her knuckles. “Bast might seem cold and indifferent, but once you get to know him, you’ll see that it’s all an act, the pressure on him right now, to do well at school and to excel within the club, it’s immense, and your revelation on induction night really threw him.”
“And Nate?”
I sighed. “Nate is… Nate is fucked up. But he’d never do anything to hurt you,” I added hastily. Not unless it was consensual, I added in my head.
“Do you ever regret it? Joining the Club?”
I looked at her, wondering how much to say. Regret wasn”t the right word for it. The Club... Hades... Bast and Nate, they were my life. My family.
”No,” I said finally. ”Not for a second.”
She seemed surprised by that.
”Why? If it puts so much pressure on you all, why not just quit?”
The question hung in the air between us, heavy and loaded. Telling her the truth would only scare her more. But lying... that wasn”t an option either.
”Because despite everything... I”ve found something in the Deadmen that I”ve never had before,” I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. ”A purpose. A brotherhood.”
”Power,” she added softly.
”Yes,” I agreed. ”Power too. It’s not all bad, and once this year”s over, you can walk away Paige, but Bast, Nate and I - we’ll move up into the Syndicate to take our places, or we’ll fail.”
“What happens if you fail?”
“You get excommunicated,” I said after a moment, sitting back as the waiter appeared with our pizzas. I was thankful for the interruption and the distraction as Paige began to slice her pizza. Excommunication was how it was worded, but the Syndicate didn’t mess about. If you pissed them off, you were cut up, not cut off. I didn’t want to scare her though. The Syndicate would have nothing to do with her, unless she seriously crossed them, and I couldn’t see how innocent little Paige would even start to do that, she was safe from them, and the DeathKnights would keep it that way.