Chapter Thirty Five #2
For a split second I think I might fall anyway, because nothing has ever felt this overwhelming.
My head is spinning, my lungs burning, but I don’t care.
Each brush of his tongue, each press of his mouth, each gasp we share is a reminder that we’re alive.
We’re the survivors who have been wandering blindly for too long.
Maybe together, we can claw something beautiful from the wreckage we’ve been left with.
Clayton deepens the kiss, angling me closer until there is no space left between us, until my entire body is molded to his.
His hand cups the back of my neck, and I let myself melt into his hold, surrendering to the wild rush that screams louder than the waves.
I want to memorize this feeling, to finally be embraced by the man who has danced around his feelings for so long.
To be standing on the edge of the world, lips bruised and heart thrashing until I might just burst.
Reluctantly, Clay pulls back, our lips raw and tingling, both of us breathing in an erratic rhythm.
I come up blank, unable to form a single word, when Clay tilts his head to the right, pointing with a little jerk of his chin.
Following his gaze, I notice a narrow trail cut into the cliffside, jagged rocks winding down toward the beach below.
It’s steep, dangerously so, but the thought of retreating now doesn’t even cross my mind.
“Come on then,” I challenge, and Clay grins like I’ve just given him permission to live.
That’s a sight I’ll never tire of. Stopping only to grab my backpack and our mismatched gas station snacks, neither of us can stop reaching for the other, his hand finding my waist as I wobble over loose gravel, my fingers curling around his wrist for balance.
Our touches are clumsy but constant, as though the connection so recently forged can’t be denied.
The descent is awkward, an even amount of stumbling and laughter.
Clay steadies me with every slide of my boots on damp stone, the heat of his palm burning through my sweater.
Our shoes finally sink into the cool sand, but there’s no time to appreciate how far up the cliffside really is.
The bag is dropped in a heap, our shoes kicked off, my hearing receivers unclipped and tossed aside with the rest of our clothes until we’re stripped down to our underwear.
It's sea breeze is shocking against my bare midsection, and no doubt the water will be glacial, but we don’t hang around long enough to care.
“Last one in drives back,” I call out, already racing over the sand on bare feet.
I wouldn’t be able to hear Clay’s response anyway, and I’m not missing out on the chance to see him mashed up against my steering wheel.
I’m already cackling when an arm winds around my waist and lifts me far too easily.
Clay holds me high, cradling me as he runs straight into the tide.
I scream, wrapping my arms around his neck as the sea crashes over his knees and thighs, his strides undeterred.
Specks of icy water prick my body and I shiver.
“Okay, okay! You win,” I squeal and wriggle.
“I’ve changed my mind! Take me back to safety.
” Usually, this would have been Clay’s trigger word.
He keeps me safe. He’s my valiant protector.
However, this version of Clay simply cocks his brow and widens his grin.
I know what he’s thinking without needing to hear it. Not a fucking chance.
I’m plunged south in the next second, my entire body dunked into the waves.
To his credit, Clay comes with me, his arms remaining wrapped around me, his chest a solid presence beneath my face.
All I can do is scream with delight as the salt burns my tongue and the current drags at my body.
The ocean roars silently in my ears, the horizon spinning, and Clay’s laughter rumbles through his chest. I laugh with him, as though we’re both escaped a mental asylum after years of being chained.
After becoming slightly accustomed to the water, I reach up and attempt to shove Clay’s head beneath the surface. It doesn’t go well as he stands at this full height and flings me several feet. I gasp, brushing away the hair plastered to my face and splash him right right back.
“You’ve done it now!” I threaten, making a beeline for his boxers. Clay bats me away, diving and swimming further into the sea as if I won’t chase him. The sun watches us play like children, passing over the sky until hunger drives us back to shore.
Stretching across a towel, Clay hands me the fizzy sweets I picked out, but I knock them aside. There’s only one thing I’m hungry for right now. Leaping over him, I capture Clay’s lips again, propelled by sheer instinct.
Despite the worry that I won’t regain sensation in my limbs, I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to think about what will happen when we return to campus, what Rhys might say or how fragile this thing between Clay and I really is.
Right now, I just want to feel the freedom of my heart hammering without fear. The freedom I found whilst Clay cradled me beneath the waves, gripping tight as the surf crashed around us. The freedom of knowing that for one single moment, we don’t have to hold back. We can just be.