Chapter 29
CHAPTER 29
Riley
Brody eyes me carefully. “So…Devyn, huh?”
I take a sip of beer, trying to figure out where he’s going with this. “What about her?”
He shoves a french fry in his mouth. “Fuck, dude. Give me a little credit. I’m not blind.”
I stare at the wall of TV screens. Several college games are showing, but I stopped paying attention when he mentioned Devyn’s name. “Blind?”
He flips me off. “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot, asshole. I’m talking about the fact that Devyn’s kid looks exactly like you. I always thought he looked familiar, but I didn’t put two and two together until I saw you sitting next to each other. And not only do you have a kid that you failed to mention, but Drew’s hot sister is the goddamn magic pussy you’ve been obsessing about the entire time I’ve known you. What are the odds, man? ”
“For the record, I didn’t know about Nathan until I came here.”
He raises his eyebrows. “No shit?”
I nod. “No shit. But what makes you think Devyn is the girl I’ve been talking about?”
He gives me a wry look. “Because I have eyes , douchebag.”
“Care to explain?” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Hmm…let’s see.” He holds up an index finger. “First of all, you look at her like she’s a walking wet dream. I know she’s hot, dude, like really hot , but your look says you don’t need to imagine undressing her because you already know what’s underneath the clothes. Which makes sense, I suppose, since you made a baby, but this is more. It’s like she’s your personal goddess or something.”
Yeah, that’s about right. I didn’t realize I was being so obvious about it, though. Damn it!
“And second of all?”
He holds up another finger. “Second, she looks at you like you hung the fucking moon or something.”
“She does?”
He scoffs. “Yes, dumbfuck, she does. The rest wasn’t too hard to put together after that. There’s an obvious familiarity between you two. And it’s more than two people who got naked once upon a time. You told me the M.P. was your best friend throughout undergrad. Your comfort level with Devyn matches that. The fact Drew looked severely constipated the other Sunday helped, too. I just did the math, and it all added up.”
“Maybe he was constipated? ”
He laughs. “Did you miss the part where he disappeared for twenty minutes saying he had to ‘drop the kids off at the pool?’”
“Nope,” I say. “Because that’s when Nathan said, ‘Uncle Drew, don’t you mean you’re going to make a chocolate sundae for the sewer monster?’”
Brody is cracking up at this point. “Man, I love that kid!”
“He’s pretty great, isn’t he?” I smile.
He gives me a serious look. “What are you going to do, man? You know she’s got a boyfriend, right? She’s been with the guy forever.”
I turn my hat around so the bill is facing backward. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
“Hey guys.” I look to my left and see Devyn’s friend, Rainey.
She motions for Brody to move over. “Mind if I join you?”
He slides over in the booth to make room. “What are you doing here, Rainey?”
She shrugs. “I felt like playing darts and having a couple of beers.”
Brody raises his eyebrows. “By yourself?”
“I never have trouble finding someone to play,” she says. “Or someone to buy me drinks, for that matter.”
Brody glares at her. “Is that so?”
She holds up her bottle and nods to a guy over by the bar. “I certainly didn’t pay for this. He did.”
Brody takes a long pull from his bottle while he’s glaring holes through the guy at the bar. That’s an… interesting reaction.
Rainey diverts her eyes to me. “So, Riley…what were you boys talking about before I got here?”
“Uh…” I stammer.
“How he’s going to get Devyn to break up with her boyfriend,” Brody offers.
She smirks. “You don’t say.”
I flip Brody off. “No, I don’t say. I mean…I didn’t say that. I said, I don’t know what I’m going to do about the boyfriend situation.”
“But you want her to leave Jackson, right?” she asks. “To be with you? Devyn told me about the house.”
“Well…yeah,” I reply.
She smiles. “Look, Riley. I’m going to tell you something, but if you mention anything about it to Devyn, I will castrate you.”
My balls instinctively recoil into my body. “What’s that?”
“I’m on your side.”
“Come again?”
“Jackson’s…decent enough. He’s good to her. And Nathan. But Devyn’s different since you’ve moved to town. She lights up whenever she talks about you. And I know now that you didn’t know about the kid. I still think you’re an asshole for what you did to her, but I get your side of it, too.”
“She talks about me?”
“Of course she talks about you, dipshit. I’m her best friend, and you’re the baby daddy who finally manned up to do right by her.”
“Wow, you don’t mince words, do you?” I mutter.
“Quit being such a Sensitive Sally,” she says. “Geez, no wonder you and Brody are friends. You’re both whiny little bitches.”
“Hey!” Brody complains.
Rainey rolls her eyes and ignores him. “My point was that I think you’re a better fit for Devyn. And not just because you can clearly incinerate her panties with a simple glance. I’ve never seen her react to someone like she does with you. It’s refreshing to see her so… alive . And since you’re Nathan’s father…even better. You can be the picture-perfect family she’s always dreamed of having. But she needs to settle things with Jackson on her own terms. And if by chance she chooses to stay with him, I’m going to support her. Whatever decision she makes, you need to respect that as well.”
“Easy for you to say,” I scoff. “She and my son mean everything to me. I’m not going to give that up without a fight.”
“I don’t think that will happen,” Rainey assures me. “I know my girl, and I know what she truly wants, whether she’s ready to admit it or not. Just give her time, Riley.”
Devyn
It’s Saturday night, and Jackson has taken me to a fancy French restaurant overlooking the Puget Sound. It’s a little too stuffy for my tastes, but he likes it, and the view is wonderful.
“Welcome to Sur L’Eau,” the tuxedoed host says. “Do you have reservations?”
Jackson grabs my hand. “Yes, we do. Williams for two in the private dining room.”
The private dining room? I give Jackson a quizzical look, but he simply smiles.
The host’s face brightens as he grabs two menus. “Of course, monsieur. Please follow me.”
We’re led to a rectangular room off the main dining area with floor-to-ceiling windows taking up an entire wall. There are at least a dozen small tables topped with crisp white linens, but we’re the only people in the room.
The host pulls out my chair. “Madame.”
I take a seat. “Thank you.”
He hands us our menus and nods to Jackson. “I’ll be right back with the champagne you requested with your reservation, monsieur.”
“Merci,” Jackson replies in a perfect French accent.
I wait until we’re alone. “Jackson, what’s going on?”
He gives me a sheepish smile. “I can’t take you out for a nice evening?”
I gesture to our surroundings. “Sure you can…but this is over the top. What’s the occasion?”
He waits to respond as our host returns with a corked bottle of champagne and two flutes. He fills each glass and sets the bottle in a bucket of ice next to our table.
“Would you like to hear our specials? ”
Jackson shakes his head. “No, thank you.”
The waiter gives a short nod. “Very well. Olivia will be your serveuse this evening. She should be with you in a few moments.”
When our host exits the room, I lean over the table. “Jackson, seriously. What’s going on? Why all the fanfare?”
He grabs my hand and strokes his thumb over my knuckles. “You’ve been working so hard lately, we’ve barely seen each other. I thought this would be nice.”
I sink into my chair with a knot in my stomach. “This is too much.”
“Just relax, Devyn. Should we toast?” He holds up his glass of champagne.
I grab my flute. “What should we toast to?”
He clinks his glass to mine. “To the future.”
I take a lengthy sip of bubbly without echoing the sentiment. Thankfully, Jackson doesn’t seem to notice. We eat dinner with polite small talk and share a dessert afterward. The food was great, and the atmosphere is lovely, but I can’t escape this feeling of dread.
Jackson stands and offers his hand. “Dance with me.”
I look around the room. “There’s no dance floor.”
He helps me up. “We don’t need one.”
Jackson pulls me into him, and we begin swaying to the soft instrumental music piping through the overhead speakers. The knot in my stomach grows as he begins trailing kisses down my neck. Public displays of affection are very out of character for Jackson.
“What’s gotten into you tonight?”
He moves up my neck to nip my earlobe. “You look so beautiful tonight, I can’t help myself.” He pulls back and looks at me thoughtfully. “We haven’t made love in six weeks, Devyn. It’s been too long since we’ve been able to connect. I’d like to come home with you tonight.”
“Oh. Uh…I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy at work.”
And…you know…dealing with a pile of conflicting emotions. Being intimate with Jackson while fighting my attraction to Riley just felt icky, so my hectic schedule couldn’t have come at a better time.
He trails a finger down my cheek. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve been thinking about how to fix this problem we have. I know we talked about you moving in with me several times now, but I think I finally understand your hesitation.”
“You do?”
He nods. “I do. I understand Nathan is your top priority. You’re an incredible mother…it’s one of the many things I love about you. And I understand why you wouldn’t want to rock the boat with him involved. A child needs stability. You don’t want to shack up with your boyfriend because there’s always that measure of uncertainty about the future.”
He does finally get it.
“I couldn’t have said it any better myself.”
“That’s why I came up with the perfect solution.” Jackson smiles.
“You did? What’s that?”
He pulls back and digs into his pocket. Before I can ask what he’s looking for, he drops to one knee .
Oh, god, please don’t.
He holds out a beautiful diamond and sapphire ring. “Jackson?—”
“Shh,” he says. “Please let me get this out before I muck it all up. Devyn, I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore. I want to be your husband . I want to be Nathan’s stepfather. I want the three of us to live together and be a family. We’re good together. It makes sense to take this next step. What do you say? Will you marry me?”
I slam a hand over my mouth to choke back a sob. Jackson’s expression tells me he’s reading my reaction wrong. He thinks these are happy tears.
“I…” How am I going to say this? It’s going to crush him. “Jackson…I can’t marry you. I’m sorry, but…I’m not ready.”
He frowns. “I don’t understand. Don’t you love me?”
“I do…” I wipe a tear away, “but it’s complicated.”
He stands and brushes himself off. “What’s so complicated about it?”
“I…”
“Is this because of Riley?” he asks. “Is he the reason you won’t say yes?”
I stare over his shoulder. “Jackson, you’re such a good man. Any woman would be lucky to have you by her side.”
He tilts my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I notice you’re not denying it. What’s going on, Devyn? Do you still have feelings for him? ”
And herein lies the crux of the problem. I don’t think I ever stopped having feelings for him.
“I…I don’t know.” I shrug. “Maybe. Probably.”
Jackson tucks the ring back in his pocket. “I see. Well, that certainly does complicate things.”
“Do you hate me?”
He shakes his head and kisses my forehead. “No. Of course not. You need time to digest everything, that’s all. I know we’re right for each other, Devyn. And I’m confident you’ll see that, too. Maybe I just need to do a better job convincing you.”
I sniff. “Jackson, you’re too good to me.”
“Nonsense,” he says. “I love you. And you love me. Let’s just focus on that.” He leans over the table to sign the credit card receipt then grabs my purse, handing it to me. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to drop you off at home. I just remembered I need to get up early to meet my mother for breakfast tomorrow.”
“You didn’t mention anything about breakfast with your mom.”
He shrugs. “It slipped my mind.” He offers his arm. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
“Okay,” I say, cowardly dropping the subject.
God. Why can’t I just say it? The last thing I want to do is hurt Jackson, but I don’t think I can deny the truth any longer. How am I supposed to tell him that I do love him, but I just realized I’m not in love with him?