Chapter 50
CHAPTER 50
Drew
“I can’t figure out what the fuck happened. We started the day perfectly happy, but by the end of it, we split up.”
Devyn gives me a sad smile. “Drew, this whole situation sucks. But I do see where she’s coming from.”
“What the hell, Dev?”
I just recapped my last encounter with Charlee. I’ve been on duty for the last two days, and they’ve been a busy couple of days, so I haven’t had much time to process it. Now that I’m home, it’s all I can fucking think about. I debated drowning myself in whiskey, but I called my sister instead, hoping to get some female perspective. Because my sister is fucking awesome, she dropped everything and showed up at my place thirty minutes later.
She holds her hand up. “I’m not saying she did the right thing, but I really do believe she thinks she did.”
I take a sip from my water bottle. “How can tapping out be the right answer?”
“It’s not. But she wouldn’t do this if she thought she had any other choice. Charlee’s not that type of girl.”
“Why can’t she just trust me? Ride it out with me?”
“She may not realize it, but she’s scared, Drew. She’s afraid you’ll wind up resenting her if Brody doesn’t come around. It’s a defense mechanism—she’s trying to soften the blow to her heart, thinking that it will hurt less now than after she’s had more time with you.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I grumble.
She sighs. “It’s sort of the same reason I didn’t try harder to contact Riley when I found out that I was pregnant. I imagined the worst-case scenario—that he wouldn’t want to be involved in Nathan’s life. In retrospect, I know that would’ve never happened, but at the time, I couldn’t bear the thought of watching him walk away again . It hurt bad enough the first time. I didn’t think I would survive a second.”
I point my finger at her. “I’m still pissed at you for not telling me the truth about that.”
When my sister called to inform me that she was pregnant, she said the baby’s father took off, wanting nothing to do with them. My protective instincts instantly kicked in, so I insisted she move up from Portland to live with me. I wasn’t going to leave her hanging because some douchebag couldn’t man up. Almost five years later, she admitted that Riley had no idea she was pregnant when they parted ways.
Devyn shrugs. “It was safer to pretend that I didn’t need him.”
Looking up at the ceiling, I take a deep breath. “Women are fucking confusing. Why has it taken me thirty-two years to realize that?”
She chuckles. “Because you were only interested in getting to know them on a biblical level before you met Charlee.”
I narrow my eyes. “I’m not that much of a dick. I knew plenty of things about those women beyond their favorite position and bra size.”
Devyn laughs. “That may be, but c’mon, Drew. You and I both know that you didn’t need to know any personal details about them. Can you say the same about Charlee?”
Damn it, she has a point.
“Real love is messy,” she continues. “It takes work, and it can hurt. But sometimes, you have to take the leap, no matter how scary it is. For the right person, it’s worth it.”
I groan. “What the fuck do I do, Dev?”
“Have you tried talking to her?”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t want to say something that I can’t take back. I needed to make sense out of this first.”
“I hate to break this to you, Drew, but you’re never going to make sense out of it unless you talk to her.”
Fuck.
“So, I should call her?”
She shakes her head. “I would go to her in person. You can’t read her body language over the phone.”
“What if she refuses to see me?”
Devyn bumps her shoulder into mine. “Then you keep trying until she does.”