Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2
Rainey
“Holy shit, Rainey. You’re going to be so glad you’re down here tonight after you see the guy in room three.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask April, my fellow nurse at North Seattle Memorial.
I’m normally stationed in Labor & Delivery, but the ER was grossly understaffed from some nasty stomach virus that’s been going around. Since there aren’t very many babies in need of birthing tonight, I volunteered to help. April and I have been friends since nursing school, but I don’t get to see her nearly enough since we work five floors apart. It’s crazy busy right now, but there’s usually a lull in the few hours before shift change to catch up.
She smirks. “The guy in bay three is yours. You definitely don’t get to see cases like this when you’re staring up vaginas for twelve hours straight.”
“Those vaginas happen to bring beautiful new babies into the world, you know.” Which to be honest, is the only reason I chose that specialty.
“You know what I meant.” She rolls her eyes. “Just trust me on this one. You’ll thank me afterward.”
“Uh huh, I’m sure,” I tease. “You know, if you needed a break, you could’ve just asked me to cover.”
“Oh honey, you’ll be eating those words. Have fun!” She laughs and gives me a finger wave as she heads in the opposite direction.
I make my way over to room three and grab the file off the wall. I take a quick glance at the patient’s name before knocking on the glass to announce my arrival.
“Come in,” a deep voice calls.
I slide the privacy curtain over a bit, so I can walk inside. “Good evening, Mr. Harris. I’m Rainey, and I’ll be taking care of you. What brings you in tonight?” I walk over to the computer station and enter my login credentials, so I can pull up Mr. Harris’s chart.
“Uh…doesn’t it say that in my file?” he chokes out.
I paste on a smile and turn toward him for the first time. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph , he’s a good-looking guy. I don’t normally make a habit of checking out patients, but I am a woman, and he is certainly a man . And as April so delicately mentioned, I normally stare at the V all night. I shake out of my stupor as I remember his question.
“It does, but I haven’t gotten to that part yet. I always like asking my patients directly to ensure we have accurate information in the system.”
“Oh…” he stumbles. “I guess that makes sense.”
I lift my eyebrows expectantly. “So…what brings you in tonight?”
He bunches the sheet on his lap into a large bundle, exposing his muscular calves. “No offense, but where is the first nurse who brought me in here? I really don’t think you’re going to help my situation. In fact, you’re making it…uh, worse.”
“I assure you, Mr. Harris, I am fully capable of ensuring you get the best care.” I try keeping the snark out of my tone, but I don’t think I succeed very well.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says. “I’m sure you’re fully qualified. I just meant, that…uh, my problem is one of a very delicate nature. And you’re a ginger. I’ve always really had a thing for gingers.”
Wow. This guy is a first-class PITA. That’s pain in the ass for those of you that don’t speak nurse slang. How could my hair color possibly be related to this guy’s problem?
“Well, why don’t you tell me about your problem , and I’ll assess whether I’m the right person for the job?”
“All right, but don’t say you didn’t ask for it.”
Before I can question him further, he balls the sheet into his fist and drops it to the floor.
Oh. My. God.
Suddenly the fact that this guy could be Thor’s long-lost brother is lost on me because I can’t stop staring at his dick. Penis , I remind myself. We are in a clinical setting, and dick is not a clinical word. Penis. Penis. Penis.
“Yeah…your staring really isn’t helping,” he groans. “That definitely won’t make him go down.”
I put the most unaffected mask I can muster in place, grab some exam gloves off the wall, and pull them over my hands.
“Mr. Harris, I wasn’t staring.” Yes, I was . “I was examining you from a strictly professional standpoint. Now please tell me, what brings you in this evening? ”
He nods toward his d…er, penis. “A buddy of mine suggested I try some of his Viagra as a booster for this…date I had earlier this evening. Trust me when I say I’ve done more than enough to make it go down.”
“How long have you had the erection?”
He looks at the clock on the wall. “A little over nine hours now.”
His penis jumps as I come closer. “May I? I need to take your vitals and examine you which will require some brief touching.”
“Go to town,” he mutters. “I don’t think this could get any more awkward.”
I take his temp, blood pressure, and pulse ox, then chart his results before moving onto the physical inspection. I try ignoring his reaction, but it’s a bit difficult when he’s repeatedly groaning and pulsing while my face is practically in his lap. I finish the exam as quickly as possible and throw my gloves in the trash right as Dr. Sexy Pants, a.k.a. Adam Walker, steps into the room.
“Good evening, I’m Dr. Walker. Rainey, what do we have here?”
“This is Brody Harris. Twenty-three-years in age, experiencing an erection lasting over nine hours after sampling a friend’s Viagra. Otherwise healthy. Temp is 98.6, and BP is 112 over 70.”
He briefly inspects the patient before removing his gloves. “Well, the good news is that it doesn’t look too serious…probably just a standard case of priapism. You’ll need some ointment for the skin irritation, but a dose of pseudoephedrine should clear up the rest. We’ll need to run a few tests first, but if all goes as expected, we should have you out of here pretty soon. ”
“Pseudoephedrine?” he shrieks. “Are you seriously telling me I could’ve taken some Sudafed and avoided this trip altogether?”
“Mr. Harris, you did the right thing by coming in,” Adam assures him. “This could have been more serious. But yes, the pseudoephedrine exerts a constriction effect that will, in turn, facilitate venous outflow.”
“Could you try that in English, Doc?”
Adam smiles. “Simply put, it will return the blood flow back to normal places.” He turns toward me. “Rainey, order a CBC and a PBG. Doctor Andrews is the urologist on call tonight, so I’ll consult with her to determine if we should aspirate the penis.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Mr. Harris asks.
“We would remove a small amount of blood from the penile area with a needle. We’d use a local anesthetic, so the pain should be minimal,” Adam explains.
His hands fly over his crotch. “You are not getting near my dick with a needle!”
Adam types some notes into the chart. “Mr. Harris, if it’s necessary, I assure you, we’ll make you as comfortable as possible.”
“Easy for you to say,” the patient mutters. “You’re not the one getting a needle in your Johnson.”
I bite my tongue to conceal my laughter. “I’ll get right on those labs, Dr. Walker.” Jesus, I have to get out of this room before I lose it.
“Great,” he replies. “If those confirm the low-flow diagnosis, Mr. Harris should be ready for discharge shortly after receiving meds.”
I ready the blood draw supplies while Adam gives the patient a brief lecture on avoiding other people’s prescriptions and answers a few of his questions. “I’ll see you for that meeting later, Rainey,” he says with a wink before leaving the room to consult with his colleague.
I turn my face to hide my blush. Adam is the resident silver fox in this hospital, and I am not immune.
“Was that guy really flirting with you in the middle of my dick crisis?”
“That was not flirting,” I lie.
“ Oh, see you at the meeting, Rainey. Wink! Wink!” he mocks.
I roll my eyes. “He’s practically old enough to be my father.”
“Ha! Like that would stop him. Have you seen you?”
Okay, confession time. As of last weekend, Dr. Sexy Pants is actually my fiancé. Why are we acting like we barely know each other, you ask? Well, because his ex-wife happens to be the head nurse of Labor & Delivery. At this hospital. If you haven’t figured it out yet, that makes her my boss. According to Adam, their divorce was really nasty because she didn’t want it to happen. He insists she’d do everything she could get away with to punish me for being with him. She’s a bit older than he is, and rumor has it she’s retiring early, so the secrecy is only temporary. My coworkers know I’m engaged to a man named Adam…they just don’t know which Adam. I love working at this hospital, so I’m running with it for now. I get to be with this amazing guy and have a drama-free workplace. It’s a win-win in my book.
I ignore Mr. Harris’s question, grab another sheet from the cabinet, and pass it to him. “Here, you might want this, so you don’t get a chill while you wait.”
He lays the cotton over his lap. “Thanks.”
I roll the tray closer to his bed and uncap the needle once I find a viable vein. “This will pinch just a little.”
“ Son of a bitch !” he shouts.
He jerks his arm with enough force to pull away from me as the blood begins flowing down the tube. “Mr. Harris, I need you to remain still, so I can get your blood sample.”
He looks down at his forearm. “Oh shit, I wasn’t supposed to see that.”
“See what?” I inquire as I switch vacutainer tubes.
“The b-blood. I don’t do so well with blood.”
“Hold tight, Mr. Harris. I’m almost done.”
His big body begins to sway. “Oh man, I don’t feel so good.”
I look up and watch the color drain from his face. I quickly cap the vial, remove the needle from his arm, and tape a cotton ball over the puncture site. Thankfully, I get a lot of practice with blood draws in L&D so I’m really fast. I lift the guard rails right as his head hits the pillow, and his eyes roll back.
I grab a washcloth from the cabinet and run it under cool water before placing it on his forehead. He jolts awake and tries sitting up the moment his eyes open.
I press my palm against his chest, trying to ignore how chiseled his pecs are, and encourage him to lie back. “Easy there, big guy. You just fainted while I was drawing your blood. Give it a few minutes before you try jumping out of bed.”
“I don’t faint,” he scoffs. “I must have been taking a quick nap.”
“Really?” I challenge. “I didn’t see any notes about narcolepsy in your chart. Should I look into that?”
Mr. Harris glares at me and mutters, “Fucking needles.”
I suppress a smile as I transfer the patient labels to each tube before placing them back in my phlebotomy kit. “I’m going to send these in and ask for a rush on the results. You just lie back and rest for a while. Whatever you do, do not get out of bed without someone to assist you.” I pull the call button closer to his hand. “If you need anything, press this button.”